Disclaimer: All things Twilight saga are not owned by me i just like to twist peoples words ;P

Chapter One: Fuck My Life

"Fucking bitch" I muttered under my breath, I cant believe my mother is doing this to me, what sort of mother just decides that to send her only daughter to the middle of fucking nowhere where all it does is fucking rain, like sure…I suppose I have been a bit of a hormonal bitch to her but if she would stop opening her fucking legs to every man and his dog, perhaps I would have just a tad bit more respect for her, but noooo…..Renee has decided that she has to get a `life' so what does that make me other then chopped liver? Yep that makes me soon to be the New Girl in the hill billy town of Forks that has the population of fuck all, Rains all the fucking time and is green, and not just grass in leaves green but everywhere is green, and then to add insult to injury my darling father Charlie is the god damn police chief of the backwards little town, so now that means I will have no fucking life, Fucking great!

"Bella, hurry up and grab your bags we have to be at the airport within 20 minutes" Renee bellowed from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah im fucking coming already mother dearest, don't bust a gut trying to help me with my bags or anything, god forbid you broke a nail!" I sneered at her as I walked past.

"Wow Bella, its good to know that you have grown into such a respectable young lady, im sure I did a better job at bring you up at then that!"

"Whatever you think Renee, and just for the record I wasn't brought up, I was fucking dragged up!"

Bitch! I screamed to myself.

Once all the bags were packed in the car, I gave the house that has been my home for the last 12 years of my life, the royal salute with my middle finger making sure that Phil my mothers latest fuck that was peering out the window like a creeper, saw it, smiling victoriously to myself at my final act of defiance I hoped in the car and popped in my head phones for the iPod so I didn't have to listen to mother dearest drown on about shit.

Once at the Airport Renee is hugging me and telling me to be good to Charlie, whatever, it's not as though I really even know the guy, seeing him on rare occasions because he is married to his job so doesn't count, though the money he sends at birthdays and Christmas sure is appreciated.

"Oh, I totally forgot this packaged arrive for you just before we left, its heavy so im guessing its books or something, anyways perhaps that will keep you out of trouble on the plane on the way" Renee says.

"Yeah whatever, have a nice 'life'" I sneer at her and grab my package and head for my plane that had just been called, making sure not to look back at her.

Once I was settle on the plane I open up my package and look at the books, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, okay well I have never heard of them before and I have always been a bit of a sucker for a good book so I grab the first one Twilight and start to have a read.

I make it through the first chapter the whole time my mouth is agape and my brows are furrowed, at the end im looking around the plane for the hidden cameras cause this shit has to be some sort of motherfucking candid camera or something, It is sort of about me well kind of, perhaps if I loved my mother, was shy, blushed, didn't swear and was a fucking push over. But details like leaving phoenix and moving to Forks, and well fuck my full fucking name! But the thing that got me was This Edward guy, according to the blurb this guy is meant to be a fucking vampire and im making googly eyes at him, I don't fucking think so!

Even know this book is already a bit off the page, it has me intrigued so I plunge back in and lose myself in my alternate Universe.

I manage to finish the book just before the plane lands and walk out to the front entrance of the airport with bags in tow in search of Charlie, and of course there he is in the front loading zone, in a fucking police cruiser, Fuck my life!

I made the general small chat with Charlie thanking the heavens that the guy cant hold a conversation for more then 5 minutes, and then drift my mind back to the book that I just read.

I'm sort if curious on everything that I read, well for example the fact that vampires don't actually fucking exist, but the idea that I could possibly meet a guy, would be fucking nice, all the guys in Phoenix were fucking losers that I wouldn't waste my time of day on, but for some reason just thinking the name Edward was doing very strange things to my insides like having butterfly's, Jesus Christ I have gone fucking crazy, all I can think about is a fucking fictional character.

I have decided that the names in the book at just a coincidence because I am so different to the Bella in the book, for number one, I would have laughed at that Mike guy for being such a tool, number two is that I fucking love presents, and clothes though yes I hate shopping big time, and oh my god if Charlie ever brought me a rusted out Chevy I think I would have a heart attack! EWWWWWW.

But hey once again I refer to the phrase, Fuck My Life! Because pulling into the driveway to a little old house in Greenland central, what is sitting in the driveway, but a fucking monstrosity of a Chevy that looks as old as the vampires I just read about, I decide to try and be nice and thank Charlie for the truck, cause I suppose its either that or getting dropped of in the cruiser, either way this is not a good start.

Its already late so I go up to my old room from when I was a little girl and thank god that at least Charlie was nice enough to change my bed from single to a double, and as soon as my head hits the pillow I dream about a land of vampires and blushing girls.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed....the next chapter will be EPOV so stay tuned! Oh and review, review, review! :)