Written for the Quidditch League Round 7, Chaser 2 for the Appleby Arrows - CHASER 2: Write about a witch or wizard trying to figure out how (one or more) Muggle technology works in an experimental space, i.e. a lab of any kind, and the chaos that ensues using the prompts: (action) charging an electronic device, (dialogue) "He tried to sell me a box that talked, so I hexed him!", (word) batteries; and Hogwarts' Muggle Studies Assignment: I would like you to take one of the ideas and write about a character creating some kind of invention that is based on the idea, either with or without magic: Electric-powered Vehicles.
Thanks to Jade and Sophie for betaing this! You girls did an amazing job helping me out!
Word count: 2404
light it up (I dare you)
Alisha heaved a great sigh, blowing away the strands of dark hair that kept falling in her eyes. She desperately needed a haircut, but she was rubbish at cosmetic spells and work kept her far too busy to go to a salon. Well, that and she was too lazy to leave her apartment on her one day off of the week.
The words of her report were swimming in front of her eyes. She was so tired her head felt as though it was wrapped in wool, and no amount of coffee had been able to stop that. The fact that her coworkers were fighting amongst themselves—again—didn't help with her headache. Waking up alone that morning hadn't, either. It felt like a part of her was still missing, as if she couldn't be complete without fulfilling her morning ritual of waking up next to a warm, pliant body.
"I told you Ethan, this machine doesn't work like that!" a voice shouted angrily. Alisha didn't need to raise her head from her papers to know who it belonged to: Marcus Flitterby, the blond-haired son-of-a-bitch who was unfortunately far too brilliant at his job to fire.
"And I told you that I read the manual-thingy that came with it, and it said that it worked like this," Ethan Fyre, their latest hire, shouted back.
"Oh, manual-thingy, is that a technical term now? Is it?!"
Alisha rubbed at her temples, attempting to refocus on her work. Maybe if they tried to replace the batteries with runed stones they could actually get somewhere, she thought, nibbling at the end of her quill. The shouting continued, growing louder and more strained.
"Boys, boys, you're both pretty," a third voice interjected, and Alisha's shoulders finally unwound. "Stop fighting."
Thank Merlin, Edora had finally arrived. The blue-haired witch had been in meetings all morning, and her absence had been felt keenly, most of all by Alisha.
She was, after all, the only one able to keep Marcus and Ethan from killing each other. The last time Alisha had gotten in between those two, she had ended up at St. Mungo's with a pair of wings welded to her back—and of course no one had any idea about how that had happened. Still, Alisha had sworn never to interfere between the two again, and Edora had granted that request with a tired smile.
"What seems to be the problem here, gentlemen?" Edora asked, eyebrow raised questioningly.
Alisha pushed her chair back, turning her chair so she could look at her coworkers. This should be good, she thought, viciously happy to see how unnerved the boys were under Edora's demanding gaze. It served them right for the headache they had been giving her all morning, really.
"Well, we found a new Muggle thing—"
"—a piece of technology," Marcus corrected. "Come on, I know you know the proper terminology!"
"Who cares about terminology? You knew what I meant to say, didn't you? Isn't that what matters most?" Before their voices could rise again, Edora cleared her throat pointedly.
"You were saying?" she asked, looking directly at Ethan.
"I, yes, as I was saying, we, well I, found a new piece of Muggle technology this morning. It's Monday, you know, we go tour the markets and all? See what's there and what we can tinker with?"
"I know," Edora nodded. "And? What did you find today?"
Alisha had to admit that she was curious to know as well. The finds of the week ranged from useless—some rubbery thing shaped like a duck they still hadn't divined the use for—to hilariously useless—rubber balls that had bounced in the work room for an entire day befor someone had thought to cast Arresto Momentum to catch them—to interesting but ultimately useless—various garden and kitchen equipment—to Alisha's personal favorite: the stuff they would try to adapt and create a magical version for.
Like the project she was leading now: a magical vehicle based on Muggles' electricity-powered cars.
Still, judging from Ethan and Marcus' arguing, today's find didn't belong in that category.
Marcus shrugged. On anyone else, it would have looked sheepish, but on him, it just looked arrogantly unapologetic.
"We met this Muggle, near Buckingham Palace, and he tried to sell me a box that talked," Marcus stated. "So I hexed him."
Alisha groaned, barely resisting the urge to facepalm—or better yet, bang her head against her table.
"You did WHAT?" Edora asked, eyes narrowed with fury.
"It's fine," Marcus replied, waving Edora's concern away. "It was barely a hex, even—Ethan took care of it, the Muggle doesn't remember a thing."
"And we took the box," Ethan added.
"And we took the box," Marcus confirmed. "It doesn't work though."
"That's because you didn't read the instruction manual!" Ethan hissed, and suddenly their earlier argument made more sense.
"I don't need an instruction manual to tell me how to start some stupid Muggle machine!" Marcus snarled. "Unlike some, I do have some brains in my head."
"The way I see it, the only ones here with any sort of brains are Alisha and myself," Edora stated dryly. "Because we wouldn't have spent the entire morning arguing about some appliance that wasn't working; instead we would have found why it wasn't working and how to make it work."
The two men stood speechless, cheeks reddening in either shame or anger. For their continued existence, Alisha hoped it was shame—getting angry at Edora had never ended well for anybody.
Edora turned to Alisha. "Well, Alisha, anything to suggest to our two brave, strong men?"
It was kind of amazing how easily Edora managed to make the words 'brave, strong men' sound like 'rash, stupid idiots no better than cavemen'.
"Uhm, have you tried recharging the device? Or just charging it if it's supposed to be, uh, plugged in?"
"Well, have you?" Edora asked, turning back to Ethan and Marcus.
From their faces, it was clear they hadn't.
"Get to it then!" Edora snapped, tapping her right foot as the two men scrambled away from her and back to their shared work station.
"Those two, I swear," Edora sighed, sitting on Alisha's desk. "Someday, they're going to be the death of me."
Alisha sniggered, smiling. "Merlin, I hope not. What would we do without you?"
"Oh, you'd manage, I'm sure," Edora replied. "I mean, you did mange before I got here and took over." Her blue-grey eyes sparkled with mirth, and she took Alisha's hand in hers, the plum nail polish on pale fingers a lovely contrast with Alisha's dark skin.
"I didn't know you then, though," Alisha said. She blushed as Edora laughed.
"You're too sweet, darling. But you need to stop. We're working right now, this isn't the place for—"
"Love?" Alisha smirked.
Edora rolled her eyes. "Yes, love." She traced random patterns on the back of Alisha's hand, the movements soft and soothing. "We agreed to keep it casual at the office, remember?"
"I'm not the one sitting on your desk and holding your hand," Alisha pointed out, but she couldn't stop smiling. Her headache was gone, melted away by the calming warmth of her girlfriend's presence.
"I don't see you complaining," Edora retorted with a smirk.
"I'm not," Alisha stated, turning her hand so she could curl her fingers around Edora's. "But we really should get back to work."
Edora pouted. It was soft, and unless you knew her well, you probably wouldn't have noticed it was actually there—but Alisha knew her girlfriend well, and she definitely noticed. Her heart swelled in her chest. She loved this the most, she realized; that there were these private parts of Edora that only she was privy to. That some expressions were just hers to decode.
"We should," Edora agreed, but she didn't pull back or move. She looked straight into Alisha's eyes, eyes flickering down to her lips with a smirk and then back up again.
Alisha snorted. "What happened to 'no fraternizing in the office?'"
"I missed you this morning," Edora said. "And you were still sleeping when I left, so I didn't get my good morning kiss."
"I missed you too," Alisha replied. It seemed impossible that her feelings for this woman could get any softer, any warmer, and yet every day they did. "You should have woken me up."
"You looked like you needed the rest," Edora countered. "And it was really early. I know you, and you'd have been in a nasty mood all day if I had woken you up too early."
"You're probably right," Alisha chuckled. "Thanks then, for letting me sleep."
"You're welcome," Edora replied, oddly formal. "Now can I get my 'hello' kiss?"
"Sure," Alisha laughed. "It'd be my pleasure—just come down here a bit, you giantess." Edora's lips tasted like raspberry lip gloss and the Ministry's coffee.
"Hi," Alisha breathed when they drew back.
"Hi," Edora echoed, eyes fluttering open.
They could have stayed in this moment forever—would have, probably—if not for the great crashing sound that came from the other side of the room.
"Oh for the love of—" Edora cursed, rising from her seat swiftly. "Can't these two get along for just five minutes?"
Alisha laughed. "The world might end if they did. Can you imagine? It'd implode."
Edora pursed her lips. "But at least then we wouldn't have to deal with them anymore."
"We'd be dead though." Something crashed again, causing a great metallic ringing noise to echo in the room.
"Death is sounding better by the minute," Edora replied, wincing.
Alisha rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. "You should go rescue them," she said. "Before they actually manage to bring down the Ministry on our heads."
Edora visibly straightened her back. "You're right." She looked as though she was readying herself for battle, and Alisha couldn't help but smile at the sight. Edora was magnificent like this. "Wish me luck?"
"Good luck," Alisha laughed, sitting back in her chair to enjoy the show.
The room they conducted their research/experiments in wasn't very big. A third of it was basically office space, which was where Alisha was currently sitting, and the rest was their assigned 'lab space'. It was also heavily warded, which was very lucky considering that Ethan and Marcus were responsible for the almost daily explosions.
Watching Edora stride there was glorious. Her hair may be blue, but it flowed around her face and in her back like flames nonetheless, her annoyance an almost tangible aura around her.
"And what do you two think you're doing?" she asked, tone dangerously even.
"We're charging the talking box, ma'am?" Ethan replied sheepishly. Alisha stifled a snicker into her fist.
"You're charging the—you're charging the device?" Edora repeated, voice strangled. "In what world does that necessitate you breaking half the department?"
"It was hardly half the department," Marcus interjected haughtily. "Just a few items, and we repaired them already."
From where she was, Alisha may not have a great line of sight on their workspace, but even she could tell that nothing that stood there actually looked repaired. Evidently, Edora agreed with her.
"This isn't repaired, this is falling apart," she snapped. "Come on, guys, at least take some responsibility for your mistakes!"
And as she yelled, the box Ethan and Marcus had brought back this morning—the one they were supposedly trying to recharge and that apparently talked—burst into flames.
Edora screamed as the two men scrambled to extinguish the flames. Marcus only just barely stopped Ethan from using Aguamenti on the fire, which would probably had only made it worse, before they spread to the rest of the workplace.
They were all fine, of course. This was barely a three on their personal danger scale, but still, the sight of Edora in danger had Alisha wanting to rush to her rescue, even if it was against protocol.
"That's it, I've had enough!" Edora finally snarled once the fire was gone, the melted and burnt pieces of equipments vanished away if they couldn't be otherwise repaired. "You," she said, pointing at Ethan, "will be working with Alisha on her transportation issue, and you," she said, pointing at Marcus, "will be working with me, and filing away all the paperwork your little incidents playing around with Ethan have created. Is that clear?"
The two men nodded rapidly. "Yes, ma'am."
"Good," Edora sighed. "Go, get to it then."
Ethan still looked like a kicked puppy when he moved his desk closer to hers, but Alisha was actually rather glad for this change. Ethan had a mastery over Runes that Alisha did not, and hopefully this collaboration would end successfully.
"So, uh, is she punishing me or you?" Ethan asked conversationally once he was set.
Alisha snorted. "Neither. She's punishing Marcus, though—but don't worry, I'm sure she'll find something nasty enough for you to do once I don't need you anymore."
Ethan gulped loudly. "Well, that's reassuring."
"Sorry, but I'm not here to be reassuring," Alisha smirked. "Now come on, dazzle me—if we get this Rune array to work the way it should, we could actually power any vehicle we might want to create, and I'll put in a good word for you with Edora."
Ethan sighed. "Then I guess we'd better get to work."
Alisha smiled and slapped him on the back. "I knew you'd see things my way," she said, passing over the notes she had made so far.
Ethan's eyes flickered quickly across the pages, fingers softly tracing the symbols Alisha had already chosen. "This is brilliant," he said. "I mean, wow."
"Thanks," Alisha smiled. "Now, can you make it work?"
Ethan looked up from the pieces of parchment, eyes feverishly bright. "I think I can. I mean, yes, I can. I will."
"Good," Alisha replied, risking a look in Edora's direction. Their eyes crossed paths and Alisha smiled at her girlfriend's eyeroll. She turned her attention back to Ethan, who was smirking. "Not a word," she hissed, "or I'll tell Marcus you think his ass is hot."
Ethan spluttered. "That's a lie!"
"But he doesn't need to know that, now, does he?" Alisha smirked. "So let's just ignore this and get back to work, alright?"
Ethan nodded mulishly. "Alright. Let's do this."
And they did.