Past Regrets

Chapter 1

XOXOXOXOXO

ELEANOR

I watched with teary eyes as my sister, Jeanette Miller, take one of the biggest steps in a woman's life. Soon, she would be Jeanette Seville.

Jeanette looked absolutely beautiful in her long, flowing wedding dress. The tail was long and beautiful, with my two daughters, Ann and Shelly, looking absolutely precious as they tossed ivory flower petals along the aisle. All eyes were on my sister as she carefully and gracefully made her way towards her fiance. On either side of him was his brothers, looking as if they were holding back happy tears. It made me smile to know that they were all so close. I glanced to my right, where Brittany was sniffling softly. We felt the same way about Jeanette.

Even though I was the "baby" of the family, I was the first one to get married out of the three of us. Mind you, it wasn't a competition. But life has a funny way of surprising you at the best of times. Brittany followed suit by marrying her long-time rival, best friend and boyfriend, Alvin Seville. And, finally, Jeanette had joined us by marrying Simon. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying and ruining my carefully applied mascara. I was just so happy for them.

Everyone looked on as Jeanette stopped in front of Simon. The pianist stopped playing as the reverend looked at the two soon-to-bes. They looked absolutely perfect together. They looked into each others eyes, and in that one moment I knew that they were soul mates. Mind you, I always knew, but it was clear for all to see that they were meant to be together.

I glanced over at my own husband. He gave me a dazzling smile, nodding his head. I smiled back. I could tell warm memories of our own wedding was dancing through his head, just as it was in mine.

Simon and Jeanette shared their vows and promised before friends, family and God. I swear, the entire attendance practically cheered as they kissed passionately and embraced each other. Even I nearly cried, I was so choked up! Dave and Miss Miller were especially emotional, but my mother, as always, had to be very dramatic in her own way and burst into tears. It was happy tears, no doubt. Even after being there when Brittany and I got married off, I'm sure it was still hard for her.

After the excitement finally died down, Brittany and I walked over and brought Jeanette into a big group hug. The Chipmunks were doing the same, not too far away.

"Oh, congratulations, Jean," Brittany smiled, patting her shoulder. "I am so happy for you, girl."

"Me too," I said, smiling brightly. "I can't believe you finally did it. I wish you all the luck in the world."

"Thanks, girls," Jeanette said, smiling warmly. She was positively glowing, and it worked wonders for her. Simon walked over and hugged her from behind, making her giggle. "I'm so excited."

"You better take good care of our sister, Simon," I said, obviously teasing him. I had no doubt in my mind that he would take good care of Jeanette. "If you don't, you know Brittany and I will be right on your doorstep. Not to mention Miss Miller."

"Oh, God, never that," Simon laughed. He smile and kissed the side of Jeanette head. "I promise, you don't have anything to worry about."

"I know that's right," Brittany, folding her arms. "You know we're dead serious!"

I spotted him. He was coming over, and fast. My heart raced as I saw the hopeful expression on his face. After all, he had been trying to catch up with me for months now. Oh, who am I kidding? He was trying for years to just talk to me. I know, I know. I was wrong. Dead wrong, to ignore someone who had always been so close to my heart. But I just couldn't face him. I just couldn't. I wasn't ready. Or, was it that I'd never be ready?

"Excuse me, I gotta go," I said quickly before turning towards the doors leading outside. The three of them gave me puzzled looks, but I didn't want to stick around a second longer. Besides, I knew they knew what was up. And I knew that Brittany and Jeanette would talk to me about it later. Nothing good, I assure you. But right now, I just had to get out of there. "See you at the reception."

"Ellie, hold up!" Jeanette protested.

But I was already pushing open the doors and heading outside. I glanced behind me to see exactly what I had expected. Hurt and rejection. Even a bit of anger. Guilt hit me like a ton of bricks. Why was I doing this to him? Why couldn't I just sit down and talk to him?

I knew why. I was a fucking coward. That's what I was.

But how was I supposed to face Theodore Seville?