Title: Masked Intruder.
By: Sharon Doyle
Started: July 29th 2001
Finished: October 1st 2001
Disclaimer: As per usual the characters aren't mine but what they say and do are. I can have that at least. They belong to Channel 7 and Southern Star.
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance (Tess/Evan), Angst (Tess/Evan and Jack)
Summary: Who is the mystery man from Tess' past and how will seeing him affect her relationship with Evan?
This is the last fic in the HEALING HEARTS series. The complete series is as follows: Walking Away, Festive Admissions, Dial 000 for.Love? and Masked Intruder.
I have used lyrics from the following songs in this fic. Hopelessly Addicted by The Corrs and Addicted by Ronan Keating.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He walked through the gates not looking back as they clanged loudly behind him. Over, finally the nightmare was over. He lifted his face towards the scorching sun and for what seemed like an eternity he simply stood still. People milled around him going about their normal routine, life hadn't stopped for them. For him, life was just beginning again.
Twenty months! A bloody long time to be taken away from everything you know. Everything that means anything at all.
Twenty months! Enough time to reflect on the complete balls up he'd made of his life. The things he'd ruined; his career, his relationships. One in particular, stuffed beyond repair. His career definitely was. The relationship - would she ever be able to forgive him?
Since he'd be dragged from her life they'd had no contact. Two coppers on opposite sides of a case, it would never have been easy to maintain contact. She'd tried, he knew that but he hadn't wanted her career wrecked too. Partly that was the reason but if he was to be honest with himself he hadn't wanted to see the hurt and accusation in her eyes. To know he was the cause of her anguish, no he hadn't wanted that at all.
How long had it taken for him to gain her trust? They'd been so close. And he'd thrown it all away with one lie. One lie that had ruined everything.
He'd had so long to think through his plans for this day and now it was here he was unsure what to do. Swift's Creek beckoned. Fresh air, country air, he'd missed not being able to walk outside whenever he felt like it. Damn he'd missed everything about his life.
But there was an even stronger tie pulling him. An almost indescribable need to go back. Looking back! He knew it wasn't really the best way to start a new life but hell he just had to know. Did she still think about him, want him?
He had done nothing but think about her, but of course her life hadn't stood still like his. He still dreamt of her, but then what else was he supposed to dream about. She was his last good memory. He had enough bad memories to last a lifetime.
He shook his head at the memories. Time for thinking was over. This was the first day of the rest of his life, corny but true. Standing outside the gates wasn't going to get him to Mt Thomas.
Mt Thomas, he'd been stationed there. For two and a half years his life had revolved around the small community. He'd made a lot of friends during that time. But that was before and before didn't count anymore. His life was now segmented into before and after.
It wasn't something he wanted to do but if he was going to get to Melbourne and then Mt Thomas he had to use the Prison Services one last time. A shuttle bus took him to Nth Geelong Railway Station where he then caught a connecting train to Melbourne. He had a few hours to wait but he didn't leave the station. Melbourne was a big city and he had only spent his nineteen weeks there when he was at the Academy. He'd spent most of the time in the Glen Waverly area not venturing much into the "Big Smoke". He was a country boy and couldn't wait to get back there. His train took him directly to Mt Thomas.
He stepped onto the platform and pulled his peak cap down lower over his eyes. Cautiously he scanned the few people assembled for a familiar face. No one knew he was coming so there wouldn't be anyone to meet him, which was just perfect. He didn't actually want to see anyone he knew just yet. The grapevine worked too well in a small country town and if anyone saw him it would soon get back to his colleagues.
Ex-colleagues!
He was going to see them, after all that was why he had come. But it was something he wanted to do in his own time.
He walked the few kilometres to the Imperial. His old stomping ground and home. He enjoyed the walk, just being outside in the fresh country air able to do exactly as he wanted.
As he walked he checked out his surroundings, would he ever stop being alert and on his guard. First as a copper, then as a prisoner he'd had to be constantly aware of what was going on around him.
Not much had changed in the town. A few shops had had a coat of paint, new signs those sorts of things, but major changes didn't happen here.
It felt like coming home, walking through the heavy wooden doors of the Imperial. Home, where was home these days? There's no place like home. Home is where the heart is. Clichés both of them. If home was where his heart was then home was here, this was where his heart had been for the last 3 years. Regardless of what she felt his heart was still hers.
"What's a bloke got to do to get a drink round here?" he asked jokingly as he walked up to the bar.
"Yeah yeah keep ya shirt.Jack!.Bloody hell Jack Lawson!" Chris came out from behind the bar to wrap Jack in a warm hug.
"Pete keep an eye on things mate. We'll be in the parlour if you need me," Chris yelled out to her barman as she dragged Jack by the hand towards the parlour.
"New barman Chris," Jack stated.
"Ever the copper Jack even when you're not." Chris realised her mistake as soon as she saw Jack's eyes close for a brief moment.
"Jack, I'm sorry I didn't mean to."
"It's okay Chris. I have to get used to it. I knew it wouldn't be easy coming back but its something I have to do. I need to see everyone, maybe try and explain, I didn't get the chance before."
"Do they hate me?"
"Jack of course they don't hate you. They were all pretty upset about what happened. We all were, it took some time but life goes on," Chris answered honestly.
"Fill me in Chris, who's here, who has gone?"
"Its mainly the same crew Jack only exception being Jonesy. Great bloke, cheeky bugger though. The girls loved it when he first came to town. New copper and good looking too."
"Girls?" Jack questioned, fear in his heart.
"Yeah, Jo and Tess, they both thought he was a bit of alright."
Hell he wouldn't have been out of town more than a few weeks before she'd fallen for the new copper. He just as well leave town now, his question had already been answered.
"You know Jack I see it all in here. There isn't much that goes on that I don't know about," Chris comment was deliberately cryptic.
"C'mon Chris what are you trying to tell me?" Jack asked confused.
"Nah Jack I'm a publican I may listen to gossip but I don't repeat it. And remember most of what you lot think you're hiding, well you're not doing a great job of it."
"Meaning?" he asked again, still confused.
"Jack, you and Tess, before you left. Do I need to say more?"
"So you knew?"
"Not for certain, not till after you'd gone. The pair of you couldn't keep your eyes off of each other, and then you'd both be missing from drinks at the pub at the same time. Tess was devastated when you left; the fire in her eyes was replaced with pain Jack. An almost vacant look, that clinched it for me. It was more than a sergeant losing her constable. You hurt that girl mate, it would be hard to forgive someone that."
"I know Chris, it wasn't something I planned to do. I loved her, I still love her," he whispered. He averted his gaze, his eyes wandering around the parlour. "A masquerade ball, tonight Chris, I guess they're all going?" he asked after spying a poster on the wall.
"Well yeah, they are. I think Ben is coming along with Siobhan, remember our resident witch. PJ and Jo are coming together."
Jack raised his eyebrows in question, "PJ and Jo?"
"Yeah mate, just buddies."
"And the new guy? Are he and Tess going together?" asked Jack.
"As far as I know they are. Look.I'll be honest with you mate. Those two are together and he's incredibly protective of her."
Jack was in turmoil.he didn't know what to feel. Happy that someone was looking out for the woman he loved, not that she needed looking after. Or pissed off that it happened to be a single and by all accounts good-looking copper.
Nah he knew what he was feeling.jealous as hell. Jealous that for the last 2 years she'd been able to get on with her life and apparently had done it well without him. What more could he expect though. Tess wasn't the one locked behind bars, dreaming only of what might have been.
He couldn't really blame Tess; he was the one who had screwed everything up. He could hardly expect her to wait around for him. But damn she could have waited a bit longer.
"Jack what are you thinking mate?"
"I don't know Chris. A thousand things are going through my mind at the moment. Do I stay and see Tess and maybe stuff up her life again? Or do I walk away from possibly the best thing that could ever happen to me? Chris I haven't stopped loving her but from what you've said there is every chance she has me. And you're right, what I did to Tess was unforgivable. It's something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Regrets Chris, I have plenty of them"
"Jack the ball tonight. Why don't you go along?" Chris suggested.
"I don't think that would be the appropriate time or place to see Tess Chris."
"Think about it Jack. It's masquerade, you'll be in disguise. No one will know it's you. You can see Tess, see for yourself how she is, then make up your mind as to whether you stay or leave."
"I don't know Chris. It seems a little risky. What if someone recognises me? They're coppers for crying out loud," Jack hesitated, unsure whether to take the risk.
"Well think about it. Remember there are some things that work in your favour. No one knows you are in Mt Thomas. They may be coppers but they will be off duty and drinking. And you used to be a copper too, you know how to hide in the shadows Jack."
"I'll think about it Chris," he paused thinking to himself briefly. "Is my old room free?"
"Yeah mate. I'll get you the key. Just let me know later about the ball okay?"
~*~
"My God! Tess you look amazing," Evan admired the black evening dress Tess was wearing for the ball.
"Go away Evan, " she laughed self-consciously. "Stop looking at me, please, you're making me nervous."
"You want me to stop looking at you, then take that gorgeous dress off.on the other hand that won't help either, will it?" he laughed.
Evan pulled Tess into his arms, "seriously Tess, you look absolutely beautiful tonight." He placed a gentle but lingering kiss on her lips. Tess returned the kiss, their tongues joining briefly for that familiar interlude of love.
"If we don't go now, then we won't go anywhere will we?" Tess asked.
"You know me so well. We could stay in, I can give you all the attention you need," Evan answered.
"I know you could but the others are expecting us," Tess grabbed her mask off the kitchen bench before heading for the door.
~*~
He stood by the wall watching as hand in hand they entered the ball. Tess stared up into his eyes laughing at something he said. Her smile said it all, she was happy, even from this distance he could see the love in her eyes. It was the way she used to look at him. God how he'd screwed up his life. Tess was the biggest regret of his life. Any job would do but Tess, she was everything to him. He'd lost his job, the respect of his colleagues and the love of his life. Never would he find another woman like her.
He knew that he should walk away, get out of Mt Thomas but how could he just leave without even talking to her. Being so close yet so far. Seeing Tess with "him" hurt so damn much.
The couple walked over to the table where PJ and Jo sat.
"Wow Tess, you look gorgeous," Jo said.
"Thanks Jo, you do too. It's good to get out of uniform isn't it?"
"What is this some sort of mutual admiration society?" asked PJ
"Hey mate, you have to admit we have the most beautiful women on our arms tonight." said Evan.
"So that's how you got Tess. Flattery, maybe I'll have to give it a try," PJ winked at Tess.
"PJ," she laughed, "you'll need more than flattery, hey Jo?"
"I reckon, what girl in her right mind would go out with a copper, a D at that?"
"Tess does," answered PJ.
"Yeah but look at him. He's young and good looking, you're."
"Enough, enough Jo or I'll make you walk home."
"Don't worry Jo, if he won't give you a lift we will," said Ben as he came up to the table.
"Girls you look gorgeous," said Siobhan.
"Here we go again," PJ laughed with the rest of the heelers joining in.
"Right, let's get down to serious business," said PJ, "drinks all round."
~*~
"Okay guys, you've all had enough to drink, time to take us ladies for a dance," said Jo.
"No way Jo, there isn't any way you are getting me up there," joked PJ.
Evan stood and offered his hand to Tess.
"Sounds good to me, c'mon PJ, Ben why do you think we came tonight?" Tess asked.
"Ahh well no secret there Tess, we're here to raise money for the Royal Flying Doctors Service and to keep Chris in business," Ben answered with a grin.
"Oh very funny Ben, c'mon a dance sounds good," Siobhan led Ben to the dance floor.
Jo looked at PJ, "Oh alright doesn't look like I have much choice does it?"
The tempo of the music changed to a slow romantic ballad, Tess rested her head on Evan's shoulder. She closed her eyes, simply enjoying being in his arms. Moments later an unknown impulse caused her to open her eyes. Someone was watching her; she could feel someone's eyes upon her. Her eyes scanned the room and came to rest on a tall man wearing a mask not far from the door. He was leaning against the wall, just staring at her.
When Jack realised he had been caught out he turned away quickly not wanting Tess to guess it was him. He walked towards the door and in seconds was in darkness.
She couldn't make out his face because of the mask. Tess followed him with her eyes; there was something familiar about him. The way he walked, his body, his hair. She watched until he left. She wasn't sure; it wasn't possible that it could be him. She had to talk to PJ. Tess stiffened in Evan's arms.
"Tess what's wrong?" he asked concerned.
"Nothing, I just have to talk to PJ," she answered stiffly. Walking up to PJ she grabbed him by the hand, "I have to talk to you, it's urgent. Sorry Jo, we won't be long."
PJ shrugged his shoulders and followed Tess to an empty table nearby. Jo joined Evan who was staring after Tess and PJ with a puzzled look on his face.
"What's going on Jo? What was all that about?" he asked.
"No idea mate, guess we'll just have to wait till they're ready to tell us."
~*~
"Tess are you sure?" PJ asked after Tess had filled him in.
"Pretty much PJ. It was weird he was just staring," Tess said quietly.
"Let's think this through Tess. He was taken away what.nearly two years ago," Tess nodded her head in agreement. "Okay so with good behaviour it is possible that his sentence could have been reduced and he got early release."
"I'm sure it was Jack PJ."
"Look forget about it for tonight. I'll make some enquiries first thing tomorrow. Does Jonesy know?" PJ asked.
"No, he knows nothing about Jack except what he's heard through the grapevine. He doesn't know Jack and I were together, at least I haven't told him."
"Tess, if Jack is in town then he needs to know. Hell, you have a great thing going there with him, you don't want to lose him do you?"
"I'll tell him PJ, when we know for sure whether it was him. PJ what does he want? Why the secrecy?" Tess asked confused.
"I don't know Tess. Now remember what I said, try to forget about it for tonight and tell Jonesy about Jack. That's what's most important now. C'mon lets go back to the others. For God's sake Tess, smile!"
~*~
"You're quiet," Evan said as they left the ball.
"I'm fine, just tired," Tess answered.
They drove back to the watch house in silence, Tess looking straight ahead, Evan sneaking looks at Tess. Something wasn't right; Tess hadn't been herself since they had danced. It wasn't like her to be so quiet.
"Tess," Evan said as soon as he stopped the car outside the watch house. "I know there is something bothering you, please will you talk to me. I can't help unless you tell me what's going on."
"It's nothing Evan, at least nothing to do with you. This is something I have to deal with alone. I'm tired, I'll see you tomorrow."
"You don't want me to come in?" Evan asked.
"Not tonight Evan I wouldn't be much company."
"I didn't think we needed to be anything with each other Tess, I thought what we had was more than that," Evan was beginning to feel insecure with Tess' attitude.
"Evan don't be like that I just need some space, time to think some things through. I won't be able to do that with you in my bed now will I?" Tess tried to ease the situation, she leant over and kissed Evan goodnight. "I'll see you in the morning."
"I love you Tess," Evan whispered.
Tess was already out of the car when she answered simply, "I know you do."
~*~
Tess was at the station early the next morning. The truth was she'd slept very little all night. Seeing Jack stirred up memories she thought she had buried long ago. Even if it turned out not to be him, it was still painful dealing with it.
Luckily PJ was also there early, she headed for his office. Knocking quietly on the door she went in without waiting.
PJ looked up to see Tess' tired eyes questioning him, "Anything?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah Tess, he got out yesterday."
Tess sat down, "yesterday? He didn't waste any time then did he?"
"Tess I rang Chris, I mean, where else would he stay?"
"And?"
"She was evasive, wouldn't give me a straight answer."
There was brief rap at the door and Evan walked in. "Morning PJ, Sarg there's a cold burg out at the electrical store, we're the only ones in so.?"
"Okay constable, let's go. You can do your talk at the High School on the way back in, then we'll get the lunches." Tess turned and looked at PJ, "Thanks," she said simply.
"You ready to tell me what's going on yet?" Evan asked when they got in the car.
"Nothing to tell, lets just concentrate on work."
It was an effective brush off and one that cut deeply for Evan. He was as confused as hell. He loved Tess and wanted to help her. But it was almost as if she had cut him from this thing she was involved in. Hell, he hoped it wasn't dangerous. It would be just like her to try and protect him.
~*~
They entered the Imperial together the way they had spent the morning, in silence. Evan was at a loss on how to deal with this "new" Tess.
"Hi Chris, I know we're early but are the lunches ready?" Tess asked.
"Oh, umm you are early aren't you? Umm hold on I'll get them for you," Chris stammered.
"Is it just me or does Chris seem a little weird today?" asked Evan.
"Yeah she does."
"Here you go. Got heaps to do so no time to." Chris handed over the lunches desperately trying to get rid of the pair only to be interrupted.
"Chris here's the key, I'll be off now."
Tess turned at the sound of the familiar voice. Knowing he may have been in town and seeing him were two different things, Tess didn't know what to feel.
"Okay Chris, umm thanks, we better get back to the station constable."
"Tess?" Jack grabbed her arm as she walked past him. "Please Tess, can we talk."
"Get your hands off her," Evan demanded.
"It's alright Evan, I can handle this," she looked up into Evan's eyes. All she saw was confusion; hell she'd done that to him. Gently she touched his arm, an action that Jack didn't miss. "It's okay, you go back to the station, I won't be long."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Tess attempted to smile.
Evan leant down and whispered in her ear, "I love you."
Tess smiled as she watched Evan leave the Imperial. She turned back to face Jack.
"What?" Tess asked caustically.
"Why don't you use the parlour, you don't need an audience," Chris suggested.
Tess walked stiffly into the parlour, Jack following closely behind her. She stood with her back towards him not bothering to turn around.
"Tess give me a break," Jack pleaded.
Tess couldn't believe what she was hearing, 'give "him" a break'. How self- absorbed could he be?
"Give "you" a break. Who do you think you are? You think you deserve a break after all that you've done?"
"Would you look at me please?" asked Jack.
"Why? Why would I want to look at a liar? That's the bottom line Jack, you lied to me."
"I'm sorry Tess, I can't say anything else to make things better I know. Tess you have to know how much I regret what happened that day. I've ruined my life, and lost you. You're the only thing that matters."
"Well you should've thought of that before you decided not to help Eckhardt. And obviously I mattered so much that you lied to me about it. I trusted you, I loved you. Jack I gave you everything I had to give. You know how hard it was for me to let go and accept us as a couple. How could you wreck it like that? How Jack how? I will never understand."
"Tess I wish I had an answer for you. I wish I could explain it all but I can't. I loved you so much Tess, I still do."
"Jack don't!"
"Why Tess? It's the truth."
"No Jack, you don't treat people you love the way you treated me. What you did was such a selfish act, how do you expect me to believe that you loved me?"
"Remember the nights we spent wrapped in each others arms Tess, the mornings we woke together to love each other again. Tess you do know I loved you. You must!"
"It doesn't mean anything Jack. You threw those times away when you lied. I can't ever forgive you that Jack. I have to get back to the station."
"Tess, don't not yet please. I need to ask you something," Jack begged.
"Make it quick, I don't want anyone to worry about where I am."
"The constable?" Jack couldn't help asking.
Tess ignored his question; she didn't owe him any answers.
"Tess, I hurt you, I know I did. Please will you accept my apology?"
Tess frowned, "Jack forget it. It's all in the past. I've moved on, you need to do the same. Get on with the rest of your life Jack and forget about me."
"How Tess? You're my life. I haven't stopped loving you, thinking about you, wanting you."
"Well I don't love you. You have to respect someone before you can love them and Jack you lost my respect the day you lied to me. I'm happy with my life Jack, please just leave me alone."
"Do you love him?"
"That's really none of your business Jack," she paused deep in thought. "But yes, I love him."
Hell, thought Tess! He doesn't know, Evan doesn't know I love him. How could I be so stupid?
"Goodbye Jack!" Tess said simply before walking from the parlour.
~*~
Jack followed her out and watched her leave the Imperial. Tess didn't look back. He wished she had, for one last look at her face, one last glance into her beautiful blue eyes.
~*~ Just one more kiss, and I'll be gone
I won't write, I won't call you
No more girl, I swear that I'll be strong
Just one more taste of you, and I'll be fine
Girl I mean what I say today
But tomorrow I'll know that I was lying ~*~
"Not good huh Jack?" asked Chris interrupting his reverie.
"What more could I expect really? I did the wrong thing by her; I really can't blame her for not forgiving me. I can't just stop loving her though Chris. What do I do now?"
"You have to leave Jack. You can't stay here. Go home and see your parents. Start your life again. One day you will find someone else, and Tess will just be a distant memory."
"I guess," Jack mumbled unconvincingly. "I don't really have anything to stay for. The woman I love is in love with someone else. Thanks Chris," Jack dropped his key into Chris' hand and walked out of the Imperial.
~*~
Tess walked into the station a sombre expression on her face. Evan looked up from his where he was pretending to work.
"Tess?" he asked worriedly.
"Locker room constable," she demanded.
Evan followed her into the locker room and closed the door.
"What's wrong Tess? Please don't shut me out."
Tess walked over to Evan, reached up and wound her arms round his neck; she buried her hands in his hair.
"Wrong? Nothing could be more right."
She brushed her lips across his.
"Tess! We're at work."
"I know that silly but guess what, today I don't care. There's something I need to tell you, something I should've told you a long time ago."
She pulled his head back down to hers, their lips joining once again. Evan deepened the kiss.
"No, no," Tess laughed. " I have to tell you this. Really I do."
"Well come on, what could be more important than kissing each other?"
"I love you," Tess whispered.
"What?"
"You heard, I love you. I didn't realise until today that I hadn't ever told you," as she rained kisses over his face she whispered over and over those three special words.
"I love you too, you know that. Why today though Tess? What happened with that bloke at the pub?"
"Evan, can you wait till tonight, I'll tell you the long version then. The short version, well, he was part of my past, he hurt me badly, betrayed me. I guess seeing him is a kind of closure. He asked if I loved you and well there was, is only one answer. Evan, I love you with all my heart."
"I love you too Tess, forever!"
Tess passionately kissed the man she loved, her hands roaming over the broad expanse of his back.
"Forever," Tess smiled, "I like the sound of that."
~*~ I'll make a wish this day
And I'll send it to the heavens
That we will always
Entwined like this forever
And though the world may change
Coz nothing stays the same
I know we will survive ~*~
THE END
By: Sharon Doyle
Started: July 29th 2001
Finished: October 1st 2001
Disclaimer: As per usual the characters aren't mine but what they say and do are. I can have that at least. They belong to Channel 7 and Southern Star.
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance (Tess/Evan), Angst (Tess/Evan and Jack)
Summary: Who is the mystery man from Tess' past and how will seeing him affect her relationship with Evan?
This is the last fic in the HEALING HEARTS series. The complete series is as follows: Walking Away, Festive Admissions, Dial 000 for.Love? and Masked Intruder.
I have used lyrics from the following songs in this fic. Hopelessly Addicted by The Corrs and Addicted by Ronan Keating.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He walked through the gates not looking back as they clanged loudly behind him. Over, finally the nightmare was over. He lifted his face towards the scorching sun and for what seemed like an eternity he simply stood still. People milled around him going about their normal routine, life hadn't stopped for them. For him, life was just beginning again.
Twenty months! A bloody long time to be taken away from everything you know. Everything that means anything at all.
Twenty months! Enough time to reflect on the complete balls up he'd made of his life. The things he'd ruined; his career, his relationships. One in particular, stuffed beyond repair. His career definitely was. The relationship - would she ever be able to forgive him?
Since he'd be dragged from her life they'd had no contact. Two coppers on opposite sides of a case, it would never have been easy to maintain contact. She'd tried, he knew that but he hadn't wanted her career wrecked too. Partly that was the reason but if he was to be honest with himself he hadn't wanted to see the hurt and accusation in her eyes. To know he was the cause of her anguish, no he hadn't wanted that at all.
How long had it taken for him to gain her trust? They'd been so close. And he'd thrown it all away with one lie. One lie that had ruined everything.
He'd had so long to think through his plans for this day and now it was here he was unsure what to do. Swift's Creek beckoned. Fresh air, country air, he'd missed not being able to walk outside whenever he felt like it. Damn he'd missed everything about his life.
But there was an even stronger tie pulling him. An almost indescribable need to go back. Looking back! He knew it wasn't really the best way to start a new life but hell he just had to know. Did she still think about him, want him?
He had done nothing but think about her, but of course her life hadn't stood still like his. He still dreamt of her, but then what else was he supposed to dream about. She was his last good memory. He had enough bad memories to last a lifetime.
He shook his head at the memories. Time for thinking was over. This was the first day of the rest of his life, corny but true. Standing outside the gates wasn't going to get him to Mt Thomas.
Mt Thomas, he'd been stationed there. For two and a half years his life had revolved around the small community. He'd made a lot of friends during that time. But that was before and before didn't count anymore. His life was now segmented into before and after.
It wasn't something he wanted to do but if he was going to get to Melbourne and then Mt Thomas he had to use the Prison Services one last time. A shuttle bus took him to Nth Geelong Railway Station where he then caught a connecting train to Melbourne. He had a few hours to wait but he didn't leave the station. Melbourne was a big city and he had only spent his nineteen weeks there when he was at the Academy. He'd spent most of the time in the Glen Waverly area not venturing much into the "Big Smoke". He was a country boy and couldn't wait to get back there. His train took him directly to Mt Thomas.
He stepped onto the platform and pulled his peak cap down lower over his eyes. Cautiously he scanned the few people assembled for a familiar face. No one knew he was coming so there wouldn't be anyone to meet him, which was just perfect. He didn't actually want to see anyone he knew just yet. The grapevine worked too well in a small country town and if anyone saw him it would soon get back to his colleagues.
Ex-colleagues!
He was going to see them, after all that was why he had come. But it was something he wanted to do in his own time.
He walked the few kilometres to the Imperial. His old stomping ground and home. He enjoyed the walk, just being outside in the fresh country air able to do exactly as he wanted.
As he walked he checked out his surroundings, would he ever stop being alert and on his guard. First as a copper, then as a prisoner he'd had to be constantly aware of what was going on around him.
Not much had changed in the town. A few shops had had a coat of paint, new signs those sorts of things, but major changes didn't happen here.
It felt like coming home, walking through the heavy wooden doors of the Imperial. Home, where was home these days? There's no place like home. Home is where the heart is. Clichés both of them. If home was where his heart was then home was here, this was where his heart had been for the last 3 years. Regardless of what she felt his heart was still hers.
"What's a bloke got to do to get a drink round here?" he asked jokingly as he walked up to the bar.
"Yeah yeah keep ya shirt.Jack!.Bloody hell Jack Lawson!" Chris came out from behind the bar to wrap Jack in a warm hug.
"Pete keep an eye on things mate. We'll be in the parlour if you need me," Chris yelled out to her barman as she dragged Jack by the hand towards the parlour.
"New barman Chris," Jack stated.
"Ever the copper Jack even when you're not." Chris realised her mistake as soon as she saw Jack's eyes close for a brief moment.
"Jack, I'm sorry I didn't mean to."
"It's okay Chris. I have to get used to it. I knew it wouldn't be easy coming back but its something I have to do. I need to see everyone, maybe try and explain, I didn't get the chance before."
"Do they hate me?"
"Jack of course they don't hate you. They were all pretty upset about what happened. We all were, it took some time but life goes on," Chris answered honestly.
"Fill me in Chris, who's here, who has gone?"
"Its mainly the same crew Jack only exception being Jonesy. Great bloke, cheeky bugger though. The girls loved it when he first came to town. New copper and good looking too."
"Girls?" Jack questioned, fear in his heart.
"Yeah, Jo and Tess, they both thought he was a bit of alright."
Hell he wouldn't have been out of town more than a few weeks before she'd fallen for the new copper. He just as well leave town now, his question had already been answered.
"You know Jack I see it all in here. There isn't much that goes on that I don't know about," Chris comment was deliberately cryptic.
"C'mon Chris what are you trying to tell me?" Jack asked confused.
"Nah Jack I'm a publican I may listen to gossip but I don't repeat it. And remember most of what you lot think you're hiding, well you're not doing a great job of it."
"Meaning?" he asked again, still confused.
"Jack, you and Tess, before you left. Do I need to say more?"
"So you knew?"
"Not for certain, not till after you'd gone. The pair of you couldn't keep your eyes off of each other, and then you'd both be missing from drinks at the pub at the same time. Tess was devastated when you left; the fire in her eyes was replaced with pain Jack. An almost vacant look, that clinched it for me. It was more than a sergeant losing her constable. You hurt that girl mate, it would be hard to forgive someone that."
"I know Chris, it wasn't something I planned to do. I loved her, I still love her," he whispered. He averted his gaze, his eyes wandering around the parlour. "A masquerade ball, tonight Chris, I guess they're all going?" he asked after spying a poster on the wall.
"Well yeah, they are. I think Ben is coming along with Siobhan, remember our resident witch. PJ and Jo are coming together."
Jack raised his eyebrows in question, "PJ and Jo?"
"Yeah mate, just buddies."
"And the new guy? Are he and Tess going together?" asked Jack.
"As far as I know they are. Look.I'll be honest with you mate. Those two are together and he's incredibly protective of her."
Jack was in turmoil.he didn't know what to feel. Happy that someone was looking out for the woman he loved, not that she needed looking after. Or pissed off that it happened to be a single and by all accounts good-looking copper.
Nah he knew what he was feeling.jealous as hell. Jealous that for the last 2 years she'd been able to get on with her life and apparently had done it well without him. What more could he expect though. Tess wasn't the one locked behind bars, dreaming only of what might have been.
He couldn't really blame Tess; he was the one who had screwed everything up. He could hardly expect her to wait around for him. But damn she could have waited a bit longer.
"Jack what are you thinking mate?"
"I don't know Chris. A thousand things are going through my mind at the moment. Do I stay and see Tess and maybe stuff up her life again? Or do I walk away from possibly the best thing that could ever happen to me? Chris I haven't stopped loving her but from what you've said there is every chance she has me. And you're right, what I did to Tess was unforgivable. It's something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Regrets Chris, I have plenty of them"
"Jack the ball tonight. Why don't you go along?" Chris suggested.
"I don't think that would be the appropriate time or place to see Tess Chris."
"Think about it Jack. It's masquerade, you'll be in disguise. No one will know it's you. You can see Tess, see for yourself how she is, then make up your mind as to whether you stay or leave."
"I don't know Chris. It seems a little risky. What if someone recognises me? They're coppers for crying out loud," Jack hesitated, unsure whether to take the risk.
"Well think about it. Remember there are some things that work in your favour. No one knows you are in Mt Thomas. They may be coppers but they will be off duty and drinking. And you used to be a copper too, you know how to hide in the shadows Jack."
"I'll think about it Chris," he paused thinking to himself briefly. "Is my old room free?"
"Yeah mate. I'll get you the key. Just let me know later about the ball okay?"
~*~
"My God! Tess you look amazing," Evan admired the black evening dress Tess was wearing for the ball.
"Go away Evan, " she laughed self-consciously. "Stop looking at me, please, you're making me nervous."
"You want me to stop looking at you, then take that gorgeous dress off.on the other hand that won't help either, will it?" he laughed.
Evan pulled Tess into his arms, "seriously Tess, you look absolutely beautiful tonight." He placed a gentle but lingering kiss on her lips. Tess returned the kiss, their tongues joining briefly for that familiar interlude of love.
"If we don't go now, then we won't go anywhere will we?" Tess asked.
"You know me so well. We could stay in, I can give you all the attention you need," Evan answered.
"I know you could but the others are expecting us," Tess grabbed her mask off the kitchen bench before heading for the door.
~*~
He stood by the wall watching as hand in hand they entered the ball. Tess stared up into his eyes laughing at something he said. Her smile said it all, she was happy, even from this distance he could see the love in her eyes. It was the way she used to look at him. God how he'd screwed up his life. Tess was the biggest regret of his life. Any job would do but Tess, she was everything to him. He'd lost his job, the respect of his colleagues and the love of his life. Never would he find another woman like her.
He knew that he should walk away, get out of Mt Thomas but how could he just leave without even talking to her. Being so close yet so far. Seeing Tess with "him" hurt so damn much.
The couple walked over to the table where PJ and Jo sat.
"Wow Tess, you look gorgeous," Jo said.
"Thanks Jo, you do too. It's good to get out of uniform isn't it?"
"What is this some sort of mutual admiration society?" asked PJ
"Hey mate, you have to admit we have the most beautiful women on our arms tonight." said Evan.
"So that's how you got Tess. Flattery, maybe I'll have to give it a try," PJ winked at Tess.
"PJ," she laughed, "you'll need more than flattery, hey Jo?"
"I reckon, what girl in her right mind would go out with a copper, a D at that?"
"Tess does," answered PJ.
"Yeah but look at him. He's young and good looking, you're."
"Enough, enough Jo or I'll make you walk home."
"Don't worry Jo, if he won't give you a lift we will," said Ben as he came up to the table.
"Girls you look gorgeous," said Siobhan.
"Here we go again," PJ laughed with the rest of the heelers joining in.
"Right, let's get down to serious business," said PJ, "drinks all round."
~*~
"Okay guys, you've all had enough to drink, time to take us ladies for a dance," said Jo.
"No way Jo, there isn't any way you are getting me up there," joked PJ.
Evan stood and offered his hand to Tess.
"Sounds good to me, c'mon PJ, Ben why do you think we came tonight?" Tess asked.
"Ahh well no secret there Tess, we're here to raise money for the Royal Flying Doctors Service and to keep Chris in business," Ben answered with a grin.
"Oh very funny Ben, c'mon a dance sounds good," Siobhan led Ben to the dance floor.
Jo looked at PJ, "Oh alright doesn't look like I have much choice does it?"
The tempo of the music changed to a slow romantic ballad, Tess rested her head on Evan's shoulder. She closed her eyes, simply enjoying being in his arms. Moments later an unknown impulse caused her to open her eyes. Someone was watching her; she could feel someone's eyes upon her. Her eyes scanned the room and came to rest on a tall man wearing a mask not far from the door. He was leaning against the wall, just staring at her.
When Jack realised he had been caught out he turned away quickly not wanting Tess to guess it was him. He walked towards the door and in seconds was in darkness.
She couldn't make out his face because of the mask. Tess followed him with her eyes; there was something familiar about him. The way he walked, his body, his hair. She watched until he left. She wasn't sure; it wasn't possible that it could be him. She had to talk to PJ. Tess stiffened in Evan's arms.
"Tess what's wrong?" he asked concerned.
"Nothing, I just have to talk to PJ," she answered stiffly. Walking up to PJ she grabbed him by the hand, "I have to talk to you, it's urgent. Sorry Jo, we won't be long."
PJ shrugged his shoulders and followed Tess to an empty table nearby. Jo joined Evan who was staring after Tess and PJ with a puzzled look on his face.
"What's going on Jo? What was all that about?" he asked.
"No idea mate, guess we'll just have to wait till they're ready to tell us."
~*~
"Tess are you sure?" PJ asked after Tess had filled him in.
"Pretty much PJ. It was weird he was just staring," Tess said quietly.
"Let's think this through Tess. He was taken away what.nearly two years ago," Tess nodded her head in agreement. "Okay so with good behaviour it is possible that his sentence could have been reduced and he got early release."
"I'm sure it was Jack PJ."
"Look forget about it for tonight. I'll make some enquiries first thing tomorrow. Does Jonesy know?" PJ asked.
"No, he knows nothing about Jack except what he's heard through the grapevine. He doesn't know Jack and I were together, at least I haven't told him."
"Tess, if Jack is in town then he needs to know. Hell, you have a great thing going there with him, you don't want to lose him do you?"
"I'll tell him PJ, when we know for sure whether it was him. PJ what does he want? Why the secrecy?" Tess asked confused.
"I don't know Tess. Now remember what I said, try to forget about it for tonight and tell Jonesy about Jack. That's what's most important now. C'mon lets go back to the others. For God's sake Tess, smile!"
~*~
"You're quiet," Evan said as they left the ball.
"I'm fine, just tired," Tess answered.
They drove back to the watch house in silence, Tess looking straight ahead, Evan sneaking looks at Tess. Something wasn't right; Tess hadn't been herself since they had danced. It wasn't like her to be so quiet.
"Tess," Evan said as soon as he stopped the car outside the watch house. "I know there is something bothering you, please will you talk to me. I can't help unless you tell me what's going on."
"It's nothing Evan, at least nothing to do with you. This is something I have to deal with alone. I'm tired, I'll see you tomorrow."
"You don't want me to come in?" Evan asked.
"Not tonight Evan I wouldn't be much company."
"I didn't think we needed to be anything with each other Tess, I thought what we had was more than that," Evan was beginning to feel insecure with Tess' attitude.
"Evan don't be like that I just need some space, time to think some things through. I won't be able to do that with you in my bed now will I?" Tess tried to ease the situation, she leant over and kissed Evan goodnight. "I'll see you in the morning."
"I love you Tess," Evan whispered.
Tess was already out of the car when she answered simply, "I know you do."
~*~
Tess was at the station early the next morning. The truth was she'd slept very little all night. Seeing Jack stirred up memories she thought she had buried long ago. Even if it turned out not to be him, it was still painful dealing with it.
Luckily PJ was also there early, she headed for his office. Knocking quietly on the door she went in without waiting.
PJ looked up to see Tess' tired eyes questioning him, "Anything?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah Tess, he got out yesterday."
Tess sat down, "yesterday? He didn't waste any time then did he?"
"Tess I rang Chris, I mean, where else would he stay?"
"And?"
"She was evasive, wouldn't give me a straight answer."
There was brief rap at the door and Evan walked in. "Morning PJ, Sarg there's a cold burg out at the electrical store, we're the only ones in so.?"
"Okay constable, let's go. You can do your talk at the High School on the way back in, then we'll get the lunches." Tess turned and looked at PJ, "Thanks," she said simply.
"You ready to tell me what's going on yet?" Evan asked when they got in the car.
"Nothing to tell, lets just concentrate on work."
It was an effective brush off and one that cut deeply for Evan. He was as confused as hell. He loved Tess and wanted to help her. But it was almost as if she had cut him from this thing she was involved in. Hell, he hoped it wasn't dangerous. It would be just like her to try and protect him.
~*~
They entered the Imperial together the way they had spent the morning, in silence. Evan was at a loss on how to deal with this "new" Tess.
"Hi Chris, I know we're early but are the lunches ready?" Tess asked.
"Oh, umm you are early aren't you? Umm hold on I'll get them for you," Chris stammered.
"Is it just me or does Chris seem a little weird today?" asked Evan.
"Yeah she does."
"Here you go. Got heaps to do so no time to." Chris handed over the lunches desperately trying to get rid of the pair only to be interrupted.
"Chris here's the key, I'll be off now."
Tess turned at the sound of the familiar voice. Knowing he may have been in town and seeing him were two different things, Tess didn't know what to feel.
"Okay Chris, umm thanks, we better get back to the station constable."
"Tess?" Jack grabbed her arm as she walked past him. "Please Tess, can we talk."
"Get your hands off her," Evan demanded.
"It's alright Evan, I can handle this," she looked up into Evan's eyes. All she saw was confusion; hell she'd done that to him. Gently she touched his arm, an action that Jack didn't miss. "It's okay, you go back to the station, I won't be long."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Tess attempted to smile.
Evan leant down and whispered in her ear, "I love you."
Tess smiled as she watched Evan leave the Imperial. She turned back to face Jack.
"What?" Tess asked caustically.
"Why don't you use the parlour, you don't need an audience," Chris suggested.
Tess walked stiffly into the parlour, Jack following closely behind her. She stood with her back towards him not bothering to turn around.
"Tess give me a break," Jack pleaded.
Tess couldn't believe what she was hearing, 'give "him" a break'. How self- absorbed could he be?
"Give "you" a break. Who do you think you are? You think you deserve a break after all that you've done?"
"Would you look at me please?" asked Jack.
"Why? Why would I want to look at a liar? That's the bottom line Jack, you lied to me."
"I'm sorry Tess, I can't say anything else to make things better I know. Tess you have to know how much I regret what happened that day. I've ruined my life, and lost you. You're the only thing that matters."
"Well you should've thought of that before you decided not to help Eckhardt. And obviously I mattered so much that you lied to me about it. I trusted you, I loved you. Jack I gave you everything I had to give. You know how hard it was for me to let go and accept us as a couple. How could you wreck it like that? How Jack how? I will never understand."
"Tess I wish I had an answer for you. I wish I could explain it all but I can't. I loved you so much Tess, I still do."
"Jack don't!"
"Why Tess? It's the truth."
"No Jack, you don't treat people you love the way you treated me. What you did was such a selfish act, how do you expect me to believe that you loved me?"
"Remember the nights we spent wrapped in each others arms Tess, the mornings we woke together to love each other again. Tess you do know I loved you. You must!"
"It doesn't mean anything Jack. You threw those times away when you lied. I can't ever forgive you that Jack. I have to get back to the station."
"Tess, don't not yet please. I need to ask you something," Jack begged.
"Make it quick, I don't want anyone to worry about where I am."
"The constable?" Jack couldn't help asking.
Tess ignored his question; she didn't owe him any answers.
"Tess, I hurt you, I know I did. Please will you accept my apology?"
Tess frowned, "Jack forget it. It's all in the past. I've moved on, you need to do the same. Get on with the rest of your life Jack and forget about me."
"How Tess? You're my life. I haven't stopped loving you, thinking about you, wanting you."
"Well I don't love you. You have to respect someone before you can love them and Jack you lost my respect the day you lied to me. I'm happy with my life Jack, please just leave me alone."
"Do you love him?"
"That's really none of your business Jack," she paused deep in thought. "But yes, I love him."
Hell, thought Tess! He doesn't know, Evan doesn't know I love him. How could I be so stupid?
"Goodbye Jack!" Tess said simply before walking from the parlour.
~*~
Jack followed her out and watched her leave the Imperial. Tess didn't look back. He wished she had, for one last look at her face, one last glance into her beautiful blue eyes.
~*~ Just one more kiss, and I'll be gone
I won't write, I won't call you
No more girl, I swear that I'll be strong
Just one more taste of you, and I'll be fine
Girl I mean what I say today
But tomorrow I'll know that I was lying ~*~
"Not good huh Jack?" asked Chris interrupting his reverie.
"What more could I expect really? I did the wrong thing by her; I really can't blame her for not forgiving me. I can't just stop loving her though Chris. What do I do now?"
"You have to leave Jack. You can't stay here. Go home and see your parents. Start your life again. One day you will find someone else, and Tess will just be a distant memory."
"I guess," Jack mumbled unconvincingly. "I don't really have anything to stay for. The woman I love is in love with someone else. Thanks Chris," Jack dropped his key into Chris' hand and walked out of the Imperial.
~*~
Tess walked into the station a sombre expression on her face. Evan looked up from his where he was pretending to work.
"Tess?" he asked worriedly.
"Locker room constable," she demanded.
Evan followed her into the locker room and closed the door.
"What's wrong Tess? Please don't shut me out."
Tess walked over to Evan, reached up and wound her arms round his neck; she buried her hands in his hair.
"Wrong? Nothing could be more right."
She brushed her lips across his.
"Tess! We're at work."
"I know that silly but guess what, today I don't care. There's something I need to tell you, something I should've told you a long time ago."
She pulled his head back down to hers, their lips joining once again. Evan deepened the kiss.
"No, no," Tess laughed. " I have to tell you this. Really I do."
"Well come on, what could be more important than kissing each other?"
"I love you," Tess whispered.
"What?"
"You heard, I love you. I didn't realise until today that I hadn't ever told you," as she rained kisses over his face she whispered over and over those three special words.
"I love you too, you know that. Why today though Tess? What happened with that bloke at the pub?"
"Evan, can you wait till tonight, I'll tell you the long version then. The short version, well, he was part of my past, he hurt me badly, betrayed me. I guess seeing him is a kind of closure. He asked if I loved you and well there was, is only one answer. Evan, I love you with all my heart."
"I love you too Tess, forever!"
Tess passionately kissed the man she loved, her hands roaming over the broad expanse of his back.
"Forever," Tess smiled, "I like the sound of that."
~*~ I'll make a wish this day
And I'll send it to the heavens
That we will always
Entwined like this forever
And though the world may change
Coz nothing stays the same
I know we will survive ~*~
THE END