Just Once More

So this fic is completely inspired by Shane Dawson's "Maybe This Christmas" music video on YouTube. Loads of people were talking about it, and my friend sent it to me yesterday...and oh wow it pulled on my heart strings, so I spent my Christmas afternoon writing it. It's a oneshot, it's a VERY FLUFFY oneshot, but I hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas everyone! Em xx

Summary:

Chloe and Beca had been dating ever since they left Barden 3 years ago, but just before spending their first proper Christmas together, Beca is killed in a car accident. She spends the year watching over Chloe to try and help her get through it but Chloe can't see her and she's falling apart. A year later Chloe is invited to a Christmas day party at Amy's and Beca makes her first and last Christmas wish to spend just one more night with her.

25th of December 2012

As per usual, Beca didn't react well to her chiding alarm, but today was an important day, and for this reason, her alarm was spared its usual beating. It was her and Chloe's first Christmas together and Beca had so much planned: Turkey, gravy, crackers, cheese, chocolate, presents, plenty of liquor and a lot of love. No annoying parents and nosey friends, it was just her and Chloe, and for once she was so excited about Christmas. Until today she'd never really been a fan of Christmas. When she was younger, her parents always argued and then when they finally split, they'd always argue about who would get to have Beca for the vacation. So all in all, not great. But today was going to be different. As her girlfriend began to stir next to her, she couldn't help but smile at how lucky she was. Waking up to her beautiful face every day was just a blessing to Beca.

"Hey gorgeous" Beca murmured as Chloe's eye's fluttered open and eventually found Beca's.

"Hey you" she smiled burying her face into Beca's shoulder. "Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas" Beca whispered gently stroking Chloe's cheek. "You excited?"

"Totes! Oh my god we have the whole day together!" Chloe squealed as she tried to snuggle further into Beca's shoulder, but she didn't get far.

"Actually I just gotta pop out and get something from the studio, I won't be long. Just stay in bed and wait for me" Beca said as she shimmied out of the bed and started to throw on some clothes.

"But babe, it's Christmas morning. What could possibly be that important?" Chloe pried.

"Yeah I know, but I know you're gonna love it. I won't be long"

"You promise?" Chloe purred sweetly like a four year old.

"I promise" she smirked. "I love you" she said, quietly bending down and planting a tender kiss onto Chloe's forehead and swiftly creeping out of the room before Chloe had a chance to reply.

"Love you more" she whispered.

Beca wished she didn't have to leave her girlfriend on Christmas morning, but she had a very special gift to pick up that she couldn't get delievered until very early that morning by her best friend Jesse. He had offered to deliver it to their house, but Beca was a heavy sleeper and she didn't want Chloe to see it before she was supposed to. Plus, the studio was only a 5 minute walk, it'd be good exercise.

As she unlocked the door to the studio and grabbed the parcelled gift from the shelf, she couldn't help but gasp at how amazing it looked. Beca has been planning Chloe's present for months. She'd made her a CD full of mixes from throughout their relationship so far. It was the most personal present Beca had ever given and she wanted it to be perfect for Chloe. The first track was the original "Titanium" mix that had brought them together in the first place; Beca knew this would tug at Chloe's heart strings and it would be a great way to set the mood. Some of the tracks were new mixes of songs that they shared great memories of, and then there were lots of mixes on there that Chloe and Beca had made together. They'd been dating since they left Barden 3 years ago, but it had only got really serious in the past year with them moving in together and starting to think about their future. She'd sent the CD off to be professionally printed, boxed and packaged ready for Chloe to keep for the rest of her life (no matter what happened between them). She was going to do it herself, but packaging and design wasn't really her forte. On the front was a professional photo of them cuddling and giggling together from Chloe's birthday treat last year, and a cheesy, cringe-worthy title across the top: "I will always love you". She knew it would mean the world to Chloe and she just couldn't wait to see the look on her beautiful face when she gave it to her. There was no denying Beca had become a complete sap since moving in with Chloe, but then again, she was still a total badass when it came to her club.

Beca was so wrapped up in admiring her present and thinking about Chloe that she'd lost all awareness of her surroundings. The streets were quiet and there were a few people wondering around, but nothing that would phase her concentration. She was just around the corner from her street so she started to hurry with excitement. She rounded the sidewalk and stepped out onto the street, stumbling off the edge which quickly woke her up. However, she was still in a daze and didn't hear the speeding car round the corner, and the screeching sounds of the car breaking were too late. Before she could throw herself out of the way, she was lying on the edge of the curb. She couldn't see or feel anything. All she could hear was people running and scrambling around her. Someone screamed "Call 911" and others were searching her for ID. But she couldn't pick anything else out. Suddenly a soft female voice was close in front of her face and she could sense she was listening to the brunette trying to speak. This was her last chance to say something. Her last chance to say something for Chloe, she just wished she was there with her, but somehow she knew the message would be passed on. She gently pushed the CD she was still tightly clutching into the woman's lap.

"Give this to Chloe Beale... and tell her I love her." She sighed heavily. And with that, she was gone.

25th of December 2013

Beca cursed the alarm as her eyes shot open at a particularly unpleasant 6:30am on Christmas morning. Why on earth Chloe had set it for that early in the morning she'd never know. She went to throw it across the room, but as usual she was beaten to it. She gently rolled over and gazed at Chloe who was staring blankly at the ceiling. She looked so still... so empty and ghost-like. It had been exactly a year and nothing had changed. Chloe hadn't smiled once, she barely ever left the house (other than to go to work), and she hadn't stopped thinking about Beca for one moment. Not one single moment. Beca tried to cradle her, but Chloe couldn't feel her, so what use was it in trying? Her love for Chloe was so strong that she was stuck there. The pain Chloe felt when Beca died was so much that Beca simply couldn't leave. Chloe's beautiful, deep blue orbs were slowly filling with the poisonous salt liquid that Beca hated. As a single droplet trickled down the edge of her soft cheek, Beca caught it on the tip of her finger and kissed it away hoping Chloe would feel it. There were incredibly rare moments like this where Beca was able to make the smallest physical contact with Chloe. It was never major and Chloe was never aware of it, but there were occasional, very still, moments where her love was so strong that she was able to, maybe brush a strand of hair away or in this case catch a tear. Chloe's controlled mourning soon progressed into hysterical weeping and it broke Beca's heart because there was absolutely nothing she could do to comfort her. Before long Chloe was up and out of bed heading to the shower; her once sleek, sensuous and strong body now weak, vulnerable and nimble.

"I love you so fucking much Chloe Beale." Beca whispered into the pillow where Chloe had just been.

As Chloe dressed herself and headed into the kitchen, she couldn't help but stop at a certain drawer on the way; Beca's drawer. She'd avoided this drawer all year but there was something she needed to sort. When Beca was killed last year, a woman named Gail had come to the door with a CD and a message from Beca. She took it kindly, but was too afraid and heartbroken to look at the CD, so quickly shoved it in the nearest hiding place. This soon became Beca's drawer where she put all the special things of Beca's she wanted to keep (the rest she asked Jesse to take). In there were Beca's headphones, her "ear monstrosities", a few other CD's she'd made Chloe and a whole load of photos and cards. Chloe was so desperate to look at this CD the woman had given her, but she was so afraid; so scared that she wouldn't be able to take it. So like every other time she tried to bring herself to look, she gave up and carried on to the kitchen.

As she stood there with her cold cup of tea, she peered out the window at the amusing scene unfolding across the road. Fat Amy had moved into the house across the street from Chloe's a few months back with her three boyfriends, and she decided that today of all days she'd put her Christmas lights up. It was comforting having someone she knew across the road, even though Amy wasn't the most comforting person in the world. Beca couldn't help but giggle at the Australians crazy antics but her giggles were soon clipped when she saw the expression on Chloe's face still hadn't altered. She was completely lifeless. Beca planted a kiss onto Chloe's forehead and brushed her nose against her cheek before wondering across to watch Amy for a bit. She knew Chloe wouldn't be able to feel it, but the sentiment was there and she'd never give up. Beca loved spending a bit of time with Fat Amy occasionally because she hadn't changed a single bit since the last time she saw her when she was alive.

There were Christmas decorations scattered all over the front yard, with various guys pinning up lights all over the trees and fences. There were snowmen, candy canes, reindeer and even singing Santa's. Beca couldn't help but wonder why Amy had left all this decorating until Christmas day itself, and also why she'd decided to do it at 8:30 in the morning! But then Beca pretty much questioned all of Amy's decisions.

"Unicycle! Move your fat ass up that tree, these lights aren't gonna put themselves up!"

"Oh Amy, forever the polite one..." Beca muttered to herself with a smirk.

"Bumper! That snowman is definitely falling over. I don't want the neighbours to think I give snowmen alcohol!" she plonked herself down on the porch and put her diamante, oversized sunglasses on. "And where is the fake snow?! It never snowed in Australia and apparently it doesn't snow here either, so let's not make this any more difficult than it has to be."

Beca couldn't help but snigger at the crazy blonde, but it was short lived because Amy was now making her way over to Chloe's house. As Amy sauntered towards the door in her pink dressing gown, Beca sped ahead and watched for Chloe. Amy started to pound hard against the door, but she quickly stopped herself as she suddenly remembered what the day meant to Chloe. But it was too late. The door slowly creaked open and a pale Chloe slipped around the door.

"Hey Bluey!" Amy blurted out trying to sound merry and seasonal.

"Hey..." she whispered.

"So I was wondering, I know you're alone for Christmas... oh shit that's not what I meant. Uhhh... ok, I know you're gonna be without company so..." Amy stopped herself before she did any more damage. "Ok let's cut the shit. I was just wondering if you wanted to come over tonight for a special Christmas party?"

"Amy, I-"

"All the Bellas are coming! I even managed to get Aubrey to agree! The trebles are coming too, but then there isn't that rule anymore and I definitely think there's something going on between Aubrey and Jesse... Come on Chloe, you haven't been out of the house in two weeks now!... not that I've been watching or anything... but you need to try and move on and have some fun"

"I can't Amy... I just... I don't want to move on, I'm not ready."

"Just try... please Chloe... for me?" Amy put her hand under Chloe's chin and sent her a reassuring smile. "Chloe, you are one of the strongest chicks I know and I hate seeing you like this. We all loved Beca, no one more than you, but we all did, even Aubrey! We all miss her and we'll never forget her. But Chloe babe, you can't live like this for the rest of your life; Beca wouldn't have wanted it this way. And... I know I sound like a grandma giving shitty advice, but... I care about you Bluey. Come on... just try? For me? I promise I'll look after you... whilst I'm sober..."

"Ok... but I don't want to drink anything and please don't pay any attention to me..." she cleared her throat shakily. Amy nodded. "Thanks Amy, I'll see you at 8" and with that she slowly shut the door.

Beca breathed a sigh of relief. Chloe had finally agreed to go and maybe have a bit of fun and Beca would be there every step of the way to make sure she was ok. Well... kind of. She followed Chloe into the sitting room and sat up against her. The lightness she'd seen in Chloe a minute ago with Fat Amy was gone, and she was back to staring at the wall again. A few minutes passed and suddenly out of nowhere, Chloe started to quietly talk.

"Hey, it's me... So I know I haven't spoken to you in a while and... I'm so sorry for that." Chloe was almost mute and very shaky, but Beca could hear her loud and clear. She loved it when Chloe spoke to her. "I can't believe it's a year today... almost to the minute... god I miss you, I miss you so much Beca. I miss you cuddling me to sleep. I miss you calling me beautiful even when I look ugly in the morning. I miss your smirk and your embarrassing giggle. I miss you stroking my hair and being able to snuggle into your neck. I miss you mixing until three in the morning and then trying to climb into bed without waking me. I miss your embarrassing dancing and your plaid shirts. I just miss everything about you... good and bad... I mean for god's sake, I'd kill even just to argue with you just once more because at least you'd be here with me. Sometimes I feel as though you're here and I imagine you stroking my hair and I fall asleep thinking you're with me, but then I wake up... and you're not there." She wiped an escaping droplet from her cheek and looked up to the ceiling. "I don't know where you are, I don't know if you can even hear me, but I want you to know that I think about you always and I am never going to love anybody more than I love you. I don't know if I can get through this Becs, you were my everything... I know this is stupid but... Merry Christmas... I love you so much and I will never ever stop. Please be with me tonight, it's our day today and I need you more than ever. Please Becs..."

That was all Chloe could manage before she completely broke down again. Little did she know that she broke down straight into Beca's arms. If only she knew that Beca could hear every word, that Beca was around all the time looking out for her. Beca was speechless. She couldn't bring herself to move let alone speak. Chloe had spoken to her before, but never like that. There was occasionally an "I love you" in the morning, but she'd never spoken out like that before. Not even when she was alive. Beca would give anything just to spend another minute with Chloe... even a second. Just so Chloe could feel Beca there. Chloe sobbed for 3 hours, she didn't move and neither did Beca – she just held her, stroking her comfortingly. Finally Chloe got herself together and headed to the study to do some paper work for the new year.

Beca stayed on the couch; she was still paralysed by Chloe's words. Beca had never made a Christmas wish before, she'd never even considered it. She had her parents to thank for that. Maybe this year it could be different. She never believed in Santa as a kid, but she needed a miracle and she couldn't think of anybody else to ask. She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from the side and sat back on the couch. She had no idea what to write... why was she even bothering... deep down she knew miracles didn't exist. But if there was anyone in the world wanting a miracle right now, she wanted it the most.

"Here goes nothing..."

Dear Santa... She stopped and thought for a moment...

"Well what else is there to say?!"

Dear Santa,

My wish is to have one more night with her.

Beca

She placed the pen back in the pot and slipped her wish into the drawer with the CD. Just seeing the untouched gift again caused tears to well up and spill down her cheeks. She couldn't help but laugh when they physically hit the wooden surface in front of her.

"If only Chloe were here to see them."

She picked up the CD and examined the familiar object. The back plastic cover had shattered and there were a few scratches across the front, but the CD inside was still in perfect condition and surprisingly her note that she'd written for her was still inside.

Chloe,

I don't know what's ahead of us, but I know that I will always love you. And yes I know I am a complete marshmallow at heart (which I totally blame on you), but I mean it. Merry Christmas Chlo.

Beca x

She carefully placed the note back in the case and placed the gift on top of her wish. Beca could see it was physically there, but she could never be sure. What difference would it make, Chloe never looks in that drawer anyway and miracles definitely don't exist so...

Several hours later Chloe emerged from the study and headed to her room to get ready. Beca sat on her bed and watched her struggle to find an outfit and it brought back some of her favourite memories. When she was alive, Chloe would spend hours picking out different outfits and showing them to Beca. No matter how many times Beca told her she looked beautiful, she would always go back to the drawing board and try another one on. But today was different, Chloe was set on one dress in particular: the one that Beca had bought for her to wear last Christmas. Beca kept it in the bottom of her drawer for weeks and so it still smelt of Beca's perfume; it was just the thing Chloe needed. She slipped into the dress and stood in front of the mirror staring at her reflection. When she didn't budge Beca stood up and placed her hands on her shoulders. She flinched.

"Woah... it's freezing in here" Chloe muttered before moving to grab her makeup bag.

Chloe had never been able to feel Beca before; could she actually feel her?

"The wish..." she whispered. "Probably just a coincidence." She sighed defeated and sat back on the bed watching Chloe. She couldn't help but tear up at how beautiful Chloe looked in her dress. It was a deep blue chiffon dress with a very flattering empire line and silver sequins along the neckline. It sat just above her knee and it accentuated her figure perfectly. She had originally put on a pair of flesh coloured stilettos to go with it which made her look so hot, but she took one look at herself in the mirror and decided it was too much at once. She put a long black cardigan on and a pair of ballet pumps to tone down the glamour. She almost felt disrespectful dressing up on Beca's anniversary. After putting on a little bit of makeup, she nodded slowly to herself and took a deep breath. Beca was now behind her again.

"You can do this Chlo. I know you can" she whispered.

Chloe smiles gently at herself and turns to leave; Beca following close behind her. She takes one last look around before she closed and locked the door behind her. This was her first party since last Christmas and it was probably going to be tough. She knocked tenderly on Amy's door and was quickly bombarded with hugs by the Bellas (most of which she hadn't seen since the funeral). Why does everything always have to come back to Beca's death? Why can't she just be alive? Chloe thought. Once the Bellas had all said their hellos, the atmosphere calmed. Aubrey was first to speak.

"How have you been Chloe? I haven't seen you for a few weeks."

"Yeah I know... sorry Bree. It's just been a tough few weeks leading up to today..."

"You sure you're okay being here?" Aubrey said bringing her hand to rest comfortingly on Chloe's arm.

"Yeah course... It's good to be out"

"Just tell me if you need anything okay?"

"Yeah course... but don't hold back on account of me!" Chloe said trying to sound cheerful. She loved Aubrey, she really did, but Aubrey was always really hands on with her sympathy and Chloe often found it quite overwhelming, but she still appreciated it. Aubrey lived about an hour way from Chloe, but she came to visit as often as she could to make sure her best friend was ok. Having Fat Amy just opposite was a blessing though because Aubrey knew she had a spy to keep an eye on her best friend. The next half an hour or so was especially hard because the rest of the Bellas took it in turns talk to Chloe and ask her how everything was going. They were all so nice about it, but it was all coming at once and Chloe was finding it hard to cope. After the last Bella had caught up with her, she took off to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Beca had been stood with her the whole time trying to give her the support she needed, but she simply couldn't help her.

A few hours later, Amy decided to get out the Xbox Kinect and soon everybody was having a go at Just Dance 4. At first Chloe found it quite entertaining to watch, but as soon as she realised that everybody was completely intoxicated, she found it less amusing. There were several couples around her making out and it was so painful; they had no idea what they were doing to her. All she wanted was one last kiss with Beca. Aubrey and Jesse were up next and Chloe knew this was going to send her right over the edge. But she tried to stick it out because Aubrey was her best friend and Jesse was Beca's. They'd been flirting with each other all evening, but it just seemed so wrong that they would be able to do that with each other after what happened. But then again what do they have to do with what happened? If only she knew that Beca was sat just next to her sniggering at the unlikely pair. But her main concern was Chloe, and she could tell she was getting more and more upset.

"Please god, please send me a miracle. Please" she whispered. But she was soon interrupted.

"Come on. Pull yourself together Chloe." The red head muttered under her breath.

Jesse and Aubrey chose a musical duet from grease... "You're the one that I want" as a matter of fact. Great. It started off as a bit of a joke, but soon it developed into them touching each other as much as possible. She was holding it together right up until Jesse swung Aubrey across his knee and placed a chaste kiss onto her cheek. With that Chloe got up and walked to the kitchen. She knew that she should be back in the living room with the rest of the party and not in the dark kitchen, but she just needed a few minutes on her own to gather her thoughts. Amy had taken over the dancing now with Bumper and Unicycle, so there wouldn't be the Aubrey, Jesse problem anymore. As she stared blankly into space, Beca rested her head against her shoulder and started humming. She couldn't be sure, but it almost felt like she was soothing Chloe. But she soon stopped when she felt Chloe start to stir underneath her. She looked as though she was about to have a break down; she looked so lost.

"God I love her so fucking much, I'll do anything to make her feel better. She doesn't deserve this!" Beca half shouted. What would it matter anyway, nobody could hear her.

Chloe managed to calm herself down enough so that she wasn't going to cry, but there was no way she could go much longer at the party. Beca went to put her arm around her, but she suddenly felt funny... she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt like she couldn't breathe. As reluctant as she was to leave Chloe, she ran outside gasping for air. But hang on...

"Since when do I breathe?!" she spluttered. What on earth was going on?!

Suddenly she was fine, she felt like she did 365 days ago when she was alive. Her heart thumping through her chest and the warmth in her cheeks...And without anything happening, she knew. She knew that this was the gift... a Christmas miracle just for her and Chloe. It actually worked! As much as she wanted to run into the party and throw her arms around Chloe, she knew that it would make an unnecessary scene. So instead, she walked to the end of the garden and stood under the tree with all the Christmas lights on it. It felt like she was under a blanket of stars. It was a personal peaceful moment just for her and herself, but it was soon cut short by the automated porch light powering on and blaring straight at her. But she could see Chloe in the kitchen window... and she was looking right at her.

Chloe was just about ready to leave. She'd made an appearance and had been there a good few hours... it was 11pm too... that's not exactly early! She bit her lip to try and suppress the welling tears deep inside but not much was helping now. There was a loud crash and suddenly Chloe could see Amy on the floor with Lilly and there was smashed glass everywhere. Seeing as she was the only sober one there, she was definitely the only person who should deal with it. She reluctantly picked up the sharp shards of the bottles and threw them into the kitchen basin. However, in her haste to dispose of the glass, she managed to cut the tip of her finger.

"Shit!" she hissed sucking it tightly. Now it was definitely time to head home. Just as she turned to walk out a light caught her eye. She turned around and found herself frozen to the spot. There... in the garden... was Beca... Chloe was sure she was hallucinating, but when Beca smirked back, Chloe's heart sprinted. Her mouth fell open and she smiled the biggest smile. Tears ran down her rosy cheeks, but for the first time this year, they were happy tears. Beca was actually there. Her eyes flooded full of life as her soul returned and she felt like she was going to pass out just from a glimpse of her. Everything inside Chloe was running at a hundred miles an hour and she couldn't move. But as soon as Beca's smirk turned into a huge grin, Chloe's feet were carrying her out of the kitchen and through the crowds. She leapt over the drunken laughing bodies on the floor and aggressively shoved her way through various couples making out – nothing could stop her now. She bounded through the door and immediately brought herself to a halt to make sure she wasn't imagining the whole thing. But Beca didn't disappear. Instead she took a step out from under the tree and lovingly smiled at Chloe. She ran as fast as she could down the path to where Beca was stood and stopped just before she reached her. She could smell her, and oh my god she smelt so good. Chloe didn't know whether to laugh or cry. A smile twitched across her face as she took a step closer to Beca. Beca was just as stunned as Chloe, but she was so infatuated, she had to let Chloe lead the way. Chloe slowly edged forward and her hands brushed up past Beca's neck and gently pulled her in for the tenderest kiss that has ever existed. Beca placed her hands shakily around Chloe's waist and gasped at the real contact. As their lips connected, every emotion, sensation and feeling rushed through them all at once. It was as though the world around them had collapsed in on itself but left them standing. It was a sparkling contact that Chloe had craved all year. She always wanted that one last kiss to remember, those last words to hold on to and that last look. As their lips parted, Chloe realised that this wasn't for long. She didn't have long with Beca, but she had something and that was more than she could have ever hoped for. She smiled at Beca and placed her hand gently onto her cheek; she couldn't help but notice how warm she was. Beca pressed gently into her hand and closed her eyes.

"God I've missed you" she whispered, shedding a single tear. She was so happy but so devastated that this was her last time with Chloe. Before Chloe could reply, she pulled Chloe further under the tree and onto the wooden balcony at the end of the yard. Music was blaring from the open door and soon they both found themselves swaying to the music. Beca pulled Chloe closer and slid one hand around Chloe's waist and held her other hand out; before Chloe knew it they were both folk dancing and swaying to the Christmas music filling the air. As Beca turned Chloe under her arm and pulled her back in for another kiss, Chloe couldn't help but giggle at how ridiculous the situation seemed. Soon their dancing became less lively and they end up swaying gently wrapped up in each other's arms, just thankful to be with each other one last time. They had barely said a word to each other. But they didn't need to, just being in each others' arms said everything that needed to be said. Chloe nuzzled gently into Beca's neck and Beca gently stroked Chloe's hair and suddenly it felt like old times. Beca could feel Chloe's warm tears slipping down her chest, and she knew that it was nearly time for her to go. She gently brought Chloe's face up to hers and planted a soft, loving kiss on her forehead. Chloe smiled gently as she understood that Beca had to go, and pulled Beca back in for a final, warm, everlasting kiss. It may have only lasted a few seconds, but it was hour's worth of love for Beca and Chloe. Beca pulled away but pressed their foreheads together, softly wiping away Chloe's tears with her thumbs and her hands cupping her face. In that moment, they were one person.

"Chloe Beale. I love you so much. No matter where I go, you will always be with me and I will always be with you. I have been with you and watching over you since I left and I need you to be strong now that I can't stay anymore." She softly grazed their noses together and sighed. "You're so beautiful."

"Beca, I don't think I can do this without you" Chloe whispered starting to sob. Beca pulled her close and stroked the back of her head.

"Shhh, yes you can. You're the strongest person I know... and you're gonna be amazing." Before Chloe could answer, Beca placed her finger across her lips and whispered her goodbye. "I will always love you." And with that, Beca was gone.

Chloe immediately missed the warmth and the comforting smell of Beca's soft hair. But she knew she was blessed from what she was given and she will remember every second of the encounter until she dies, she just wished she could have had more time. She took a deep breath and turned to walk home.

"I love you too Beca. Always."

As soon as she got home, she went to Beca's drawer. There was something different about it this time; something was pulling her towards it like it never had before. As she stood in front of it ready, she could feel Beca around her. She slowly pulled open the small drawer and pulled out the slip of paper and the CD she'd been too scared to look at. She put the CD down momentarily to read the piece of paper that had miraculously appeared out of nowhere.

Dear Santa,

My wish is to have one more night with her.

Beca

Such a simple note, but such complicated circumstances. How on earth? This note was written today, she knew it, but how could it even be real? As she lay it carefully down on the polished wooden surface, she saw two tear droplets near the edge. They were Beca's! How could she be so blind?! Beca had written this today and her wish came true.

"There really is a god." She breathed in a sigh of contempt.

She finally picked up the CD and looked at the front. And there, were those precious words that Beca had left her with: "I will always love you". She laughed as she remembered the fun they had at her birthday photo shoot. As she carefully popped open the case, a small note fell onto the floor. She picked it up gently, and as she read it her smile just grew and grew.

Chloe,

I don't know what's ahead of us, but I know that I will always love you. And yes I know I am a complete marshmallow at heart (which I totally blame on you), but I mean it. Merry Christmas Chlo.

Beca x

It was almost as though Beca had known something was going to happen – but that was more than probably coincidence. Chloe now knew that she could do it; she could move on with her life. She never had to forget Beca or love her any less, but she did have to allow herself to be happy, because now she knew that that's what Beca wanted and she knew that Beca would never leave her side. But now it was time for the actual CD – she was nervous to say the least when she hit play. But when Beca's first ever mix she made for Chloe came dancing through the speakers, all her nerves vanished. 'Titanium' was Beca and Chloe's song... it was their song. And now she had a whole CD of their songs and she'd never have to go a day without Beca. Because Beca put her heart and soul into her mixes, and she had a CD full of them. They gave Chloe hope and belief that everything was going to be okay and that one day she and Beca would be together again.