Sypnopsis:

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

Last season on Grey's Anatomy:

-Dr. Miranda Bailey: I wish I could turn back the clock and make it yesterday…we can't go back.

-Dr. Cristina Yang: I am a surgeon, Dr. Bailey. But right now, I don't feel like one. I feel…like…somebody else. Do you know what that's like, not to feel like yourself?

-Dr. Addison Montgomery: We don't get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know…nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could've changed your life.

-Dr. George O'Malley: I'm not gonna tell Callie. Do you know how much this would hurt her? I'm not gonna clear my conscience at her expense. She has done nothing but support me, encourage me and believe in me and this is how I pay her back? No, I have to live with what I did. This is our secret, okay?

-Dr. Izzie Stevens: Messing up…it's what makes a person. And so we learn, where you find joy. And the things you don't plan for…are things you never see coming.

-Dr. George O'Malley: Repeat my internship? No. I can't…I can't.

-Dr. Derek Shepherd: You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So I'm asking you...if you don't see a future for us, if you aren't in this...please...please just end it, because I can't. I'm in it. Put me out of my misery.

-Dr. Preston Burke: …If I loved you...if I loved you, not the woman that I'm trying to make you be, not the woman that I hope you'll become, but you...if I did...I wouldn't be up there waiting for you. I would be letting you go.

-Dr. Cristina Yang: He's gone. I'm…I'm free. Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT!

Denial is a blessing…or a curse. Every now and then, the only thing that makes us feel in charge of our lives is not talking about what got us there. We put up an invisible shield to prevent us from living in a world of hurt. We don't think about how we ended up stuck in between heaven and hell. Instead, we soldier on…disregarding our feelings and regrets to do something that makes us feel in control. But eventually, we start to get comfortable with what we have…and that's when solitude comes back and bites us in the ass, reminding us of the need to learn from our mistakes. After all, putting off the inevitable is what makes it hurt the most.

Callie stood in the kitchen, studying Cristina in concern. The normally feisty and sarcastic surgeon was sitting at the table with her head bowed down, unusually quiet. She absentmindedly fiddled with her glass of margarita, sighing every so often. Everyone jumped when Cristina spoke up, her voice sounding strangely loud in the quiet room.

"I hate Burke! You know, how strange is that? How can I love and hate someone so much? I spent the better part of a year caring for a man that turned out to be as unpredictable as the weather outside. And yet, I'm still in love with him. I'm sitting in this kitchen, surrounded by my supportive best friends, but all I can think of is, 'What the hell did I do wrong?!' I mean, did I really not love him enough? Was I too absorbed in surgeries and being a terrible girlfriend?"

Meredith spoke up, anger flashing in her eyes. "Cristina, LOOK AT ME!! You loved Burke the way you knew how to! Don't think for one moment that you didn't do enough to make this relationship work. But sometimes, we just aren't ready…we just can't have that fairytale ending yet. Think about it…even if you and Burke had gotten married, would it even have worked out? You guys wanted different things, and maybe…just maybe…him leaving you at that altar today really was the best thing he could do for you."

Ignoring the shocked glances from Izzie and Callie, she continued in a gentler tone. "Cristina, admit it. You actually had to come to the hospital today, on your wedding day, just to cut something and make you feel like yourself again! You were losing your personality, and I'm sorry for saying this, but I'm glad he left you. I'm thankful that he gave you the chance to be free, to reclaim the passion that you lost during the course of this relationship. I mean, seriously!"

Cristina stared at her best friend in quiet contemplation. "Mere…I never realized how much I loved Burke until you found me today. The denial that I was in before I got back to the apartment…it just hit. I mean, I'm never going to see the man I loved ever again…" She trailed off, tears trickling slowly down her face.

Izzie, who had been quietly whipping up margaritas, suddenly started venting, her voice choked with tears. "You know, you're right! It was wrong of Dr. Burke to leave you at the altar. You guys deserved your fairytale ending. When I was helping him in surgery today, he was practicing his vows. He said he was going to lay his heart in the palm of your hand! People shouldn't make false promises like that!"

Seeing that Cristina was opening her mouth to protest, she continued on her outburst. "Love isn't something you offer and then yank away without a second thought. Once you say you love someone, it's a commitment that you shouldn't take back! Marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly. It's forever…and nothing can or should change that!"

Callie stopped making cookie dough and stared suspiciously at the blonde. Her intuition was telling her that Izzie was talking about more than Cristina's failed marriage. She was acting much too emotional for someone who wasn't even that close to the Asian surgeon. She glanced at the other two women in the room; Cristina was sitting at the table in stunned silence, while Meredith looked very uncomfortable.

Meredith cleared her throat. Casting a furtive glance in Izzie's direction, she looked back down at her drink. "Izz, you're talking about you and Denny. Right?"

The blonde was back to mixing drinks, her face suddenly burning scarlet. "Yeah…"

Nobody dared to break the silence after that.

Callie sat in the dark hotel room, not even bothering to flip on the lights. After all, the shadows seemed to fit well with her tumultuous feelings right now. Ever since Izzie's outburst, she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was indeed going on between George and Izzie. She recalled the plea she had made to Izzie less than a week ago.

Izzie was walking into the elevator. With a sudden burst of courage, Callie had followed her in. Fighting back the sudden onslaught of tears and ignoring Stevens' shocked look, she had begun her speech.

"Don't talk. I know it's not fair, and I know it's not your fault, and I know there's nothing going on between you and George. I know that…except there is. You're his best friend. He loves you. He gets you; he needs you. And I'm just...I'm his wife. And I know...I get the sex and the commitment and the life with him. But I want him to get me, and to need me, and I can't compete with you. So I am asking you to please stop...just stop. Find another friend or whatever you have to do. Just give me my husband back."

After that, she had gotten off the elevator, giving in to the tears that seemed to fall on their own accord.

Suddenly feeling an inexplicable cold steal over her body, Callie wrapped her hotel robe more tightly around her. She sighed. George hadn't come to the wedding, so where was he? She needed to talk to her husband…she was desperate for any sign that she was just being paranoid.

Hearing a knock at the door, she ran to answer it without bothering to look in the peephole. Throwing it open, she was greeted with the sight of a miserable-looking George. Closing the door quickly, she walked up to him with a determination she did not feel. "George, I need to talk to you. It's about-"

George interrupted her quietly. "Callie, I'm so sorry. We, uh…we can't transfer to Mercy West. I mean, you can, since you're a wonderful surgeon and any hospital would benefit from your skills. But, I can't…I think I'm gonna have to stay at Seattle Grace."

Callie glanced at George. Although her mind was whirling with questions that she wanted to ask him, the more rational part of her knew there was a reason why he suddenly didn't want to switch hospitals. After all, his tentative acceptance to Mercy West had been the only thing that had made George cheer up these past few weeks.

"George, why are you deciding to stay at Seattle Grace? They said they were going to accept you, pending the results of your intern exam. I know you guys got the results back today…" Understanding suddenly dawned on her. "Oh…you didn't pass the intern exam." At George's continued silence, Callie turned away from him for a second. She couldn't ask him about Izzie right now, not when his entire career seemed to have come to a standstill. Feeling tears prick her eyes, Callie hurriedly blinked them away. After all, they couldn't both fall apart right now.

Sighing softly, she cradled his face and forced him to look at her. "George, I'm so

sorry that you didn't pass your intern exam. But you know what? If you stay at Seattle Grace, then I'll stay with you." Noticing his look of shock, she added, "Honey…I got the chief residency today. I can't just hand in my letter of resignation now, could I? And besides, we're husband and wife. I'm not going to work at a different hospital unless you're there with me." Hugging him gently, she led him to the bed. "It'll be okay….everything will be okay."

Before long, Callie was fast asleep; she didn't hear George whisper, "I'm so sorry…so sorry. Forgive me. After all you've done for me, this is how I repay you. You shouldn't be so good to me…I'm so sorry."

Izzie jumped when she heard the front door slam. After the drama of today, she had forgotten that Alex also lived at Meredith's house now. Picking up her mug of tea, she continued to stare at the candles that she had lit all over the kitchen. The caffeine and mingling scents were proving to be the relaxing remedy she needed to go to sleep tonight…and forget about the misery that this day had bought.

"Hey, Iz." Looking up, Izzie returned the smile that Alex gave her. She studied her fellow surgeon; the normally cocky attitude was missing in his poise. Alex sat with his shoulders slumped, and his frown lines were noticeable.

"Alex, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Seeing her smoldering glare, he sighed. "Okay, fine. I'm not okay. I missed my chance to be with the woman I love. First it was you, then it was Addison…and now it's Ava. I always seem to screw things up. Addison was right. You don't get unlimited chances to have the things you want. And now I know that nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed my life. What the hell is the matter with me? I mean, she was in that hospital room today, begging me to give her a reason to stay in Seattle. And I just couldn't let myself give her that reason."

Izzie stared at Alex as she chose her words carefully. "What is it that makes you close up like a clam when it comes to commitment, Alex? After all, we were a couple once upon a time. You're not the ass you portray yourself as. You're sweet and kind, and you do have a good bedside manner. I think that much was clear when we saw you connect with Ava. You showed more compassion than I ever thought you were capable of. You would make a great husband, Alex. I just don't get why you don't let yourself open up."

Alex hesitated, but then he changed the subject. "Forget about me…let's talk about Yang. Was the wedding good? Come to think of it, why are you guys back so early. It's only 11:00…I thought I'd be the only one at home to wallow in self-pity."

She sighed. "They didn't get married…Dr. Burke left her at the altar." At Alex's shocked expression, she elaborated. "He said that he was forcing her into marriage, and that their relationship was changing her into a different person. It was so sad…I don't think I've ever seen Cristina so devastated. We females got together to whip up margaritas and cookies tonight, so whatever…."

Alex smiled slightly. "You guys did the best thing you could do for her…get wasted and help her forget about today." Leaning toward Izzie, he gently kissed her cheek and flashed her a genuine smile. She stared after Alex as he left the kitchen to go upstairs.

Meredith woke with a start when she heard the sound of sniffling. Turning around, she caught sight of Cristina's shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. Laying a hand gently on her best friend's shoulder, she watched sadly as Cristina cleared her throat loudly. "Cristina, are you okay? Do you want to talk about what happened today?"

Cristina sighed, her voice choked with tears. "What's there to talk about? He left me…and now I'm dealing with it in the way that I know how to. I mean, so what? He left me, but I should be happy about the fact that I'm now a resident. You know what? I don't need him. If he's too arrogant to realize that I'm one of the best things that happed to him, then fine! I risked my career to save his ass when he was in trouble, so I'm not about to ruin the start of my residency by missing him. I'm not…I'M NOT!"

"Okay," Meredith whispered soothingly. She gave her best friend a supportive squeeze on the shoulder.

"Mere? I know this is random, but I've been thinking. You know how we have a 17 day break before we start residency? How about you go with me on the honeymoon that Burke and I planned? Keep me company…let's have fun in the Hawaiian sand and sun and forget about everything that's making us unhappy."

Meredith laughed. "That sounds good…scuba diving, luaus and dancing in grass skirts!" Hearing Cristina laugh, she added softly, "I'm always on your side, Cristina. No matter what. You'll get past this. I know it."

Hearing Cristina's affirmative mumble, she smiled and finally allowed herself to sink into the comfortable bliss of sleep.

You live with a halo 'round your head,

This time you're leaving.

This place where the walls are painted red,

Freedom is what you need…

But if the world should ever fall apart around you,

And if you're lost and barely breathing,

I will find you,

And carry you back home.

I won't forsake the only love I ever known,

When you're out there on your own.

Dark clouds they surround you in the sky,

Rain falls when you're sleeping.

When you're past the point of no return,

I will take away the hurt.

And if the world should ever fall apart around you,

And if you're lost and barely breathing,

I will find you,

And carry you back home.

I won't forsake the only love I ever known,

When you're out there...

And I will wait,

However long it takes,

'Til you realize what you have been searching for,

Was right here all along…

When you lost the only light you had to guide you,

And you're cold and barely breathing,

I will find you,

And carry you back home…

I won't forsake the only love I ever known,

When you're out there on your own.

And if the world should ever fall apart around you,

And if you're lost and barely breathing,

I will find you,

And carry you back home…

I won't forsake the only love I ever known,

When you're out there on your...

When you're out there on your own…

-Nick Lachey, On Your Own