So here it is, my little side project. I hope you all like it. This is always going to take a secondary roll to whatever I'm working on, so updates might be sporadic, unless I finish everything, and/or everyone wants me to devote more time to it. As always I love hearing from you so don't hesitate to comment.
My parents lived in Arcadia Bay for a long time before I was born. They watched it change, and grow, and become whatever the whims of fate had in store for it. They watched people come and go, made friends, and lost them as well. Arcadia Bay was home, and stayed home even when many members of our family began to move away, heading off for Fairer Shores, or more favorable climes. The world was becoming less hospitable after all, and those of us who could escape were starting to do so. Still my parents stubbornly stayed in the place they called home for a long while after.
My birth was a much celebrated surprise. Our family doesn't have a very high birth rate, and it's gone down over time as the world's changed around us. So I was precious, and loved, and well cared for. I cared little for the world around me, my world was my parents, and would have remained that way, except that I saw a girl.
Chloe Price was vibrant, and lively. Full of energy, and life, and mischief. She was captivating, especially to a child like myself. I saw her playing alone, running around, laughing and fighting invisible foes. I felt drawn to her, I wanted to join in, to laugh and play, and experience life the way she was experiencing it. I moved to join her, but my father placed his hand on my shoulder, and shook his head. I tried to pull away to go run, and dance with her, but he me held fast. So I did what any child would do when denied something. I cried, and screamed, and struggled, and begged till I wore myself out. But in the end my father did relent. I had to wait a week, but we moved into the house down the road from the Price's and I would soon be allowed to go out into the town of Arcadia Bay properly.
I had a new name, Maxine Caulfield. It was fun, and weird, and so very exciting. I was just like everyone else around us, and I couldn't wait to go find Chloe and tell it to her. Of course my parents didn't want to just let me run wild, not without some rules first. I was not allowed to discuss our family except for my mom and dad. I was not to discuss specifics about our home before we moved in here, and I was under no circumstances to show Chloe, or anyone else anything that might be considered unusual or impossible by the standards of our neighbors. It all seemed very boring, even a little unfair, but my father insisted that the world no longer had room for anything that didn't conform to the widely accepted version of the standard model. Still, following the rules meant I would get to go play with Chloe, so I would follow them willingly, happily even.
It seemed like forever until my father, now a one mister Ryan Caulfield, or dad, let me loose to find my best friend, even if she didn't know she was yet. I skipped merrily down the street, so excited to finally be out in the world Chloe lived in. I guess maybe I was a little obsessed, but really, I was so young, and everything always feels like life or death when you're little. I started feeling shy as I approached the door, and knocked. This was it, this was going to be my big moment, I was going to meet my best friend forever, and we were going to have so much fun. My train of thought was derailed when her mother opened the door instead. I hadn't considered that anyone but Chloe would answer the door, which of course was silly, but I was unaccustomed to the ways of things yet. I looked up at her wide eyed, my hand moving to clutch my other arm nervously.
Joyce smiled down at me kindly. "Well now...what can I do for you sweetheart?"
"I...um... I live over there." I turned and pointed back towards my house. "Um... you have a little girl, like me that lives here?"
She laughed softly, and nodded. "I do, but my Chloe's out right now with her father picking up some groceries." she looked me over for a moment. "So you just moved in down the way huh?"
I whispered Chloe's name to myself a few times just to try it out. I really liked it. I nodded my agreement to her question, and shifted my weight from foot to foot nervously. "Yeah... we just moved in."
"Well I'll tell you what sweetie, why don't you run on home, and tell your mommy, and daddy, that the Price's would love it if they'd come on over for dinner tonight, as a welcome to the neighborhood." She smiled down at me. "Then we can all have a nice dinner, and you can meet Chloe."
My eyes got really big, and I was practically bouncing with excitement. "Really? Okay! I'll tell them! I'll tell them right now!" and I turned and ran off down the street without even so much as a goodbye. I think I heard her laughing as I went, but at the time I really didn't care, I was going to finally meet Chloe in person, for real.
I burst into our front door, leaving it open in my rush. I ran through the house, shouting for my Mother and Father until they finally materialized to see what all the fuss was about. I grinned at them happily as I told them exactly what Joyce had said to me, at least to the best of my ability to recall, and then triumphantly as they agreed to meet the Prices. This was going to be the best day of my life, I just knew it. I was so excited.
I watched as my parents committed to really becoming Ryan and Vanessa Caulfield. The way a shadow of that vitality everyone around us seems to have settles over them was fascinating to watch. They become more solid in someways, but almost completely disappeared in others. I wondered if it looked the same way when I took on the mantle of Maxine Caulfield. Now we were all very much like our new neighbors, now we were all truly a part of Arcadia Bay, and I was going to enjoy every moment of it. My new life truly started that day, and it was going to stay like that forever. That's what I thought at the time at least. Time makes fools of us all, they say, but that part came later.
We made our way towards the Price home. My dad a big bearded man, with an easy smile, and my mother a small unassuming woman, with a cautious demeanor, and mousy little me. My mom was carrying a pie she conjured up from the kitchen. A gift of food, she explained was customary when making social calls, and so I shoved a chocolate bar in my pocket to give to Chloe as well.
Dad knocked briskly on the door, and we waited, huddled together like a proper family, as we waited to be granted entrance. We didn't have to wait long, a man who introduced himself as William opened the door, and invited us inside. I wanted to hurry in eagerly, but looking up at William made me feel shy, and I hesitated, until I was gently guided inside by my dad. Actually facing people, instead of watching them from a distance was harder than I thought it would be.
William led us down the little hallway, past the kitchen and into the combination dining, and living space. I looked around curiously, studying all the artifacts of normal suburban life around me, as my parents, and the Prices made introductions. Motion outside the sliding glass doors though pulled my attention from my explorations, and I ran over pressing my nose against the glass to see outside.
There she was, outside in her backyard, running, and laughing and playing alone again. I was completely entranced. I wanted nothing more than to run out there and join in her games. I wanted nothing more, than for her to see me, and talk to me, and play with me. Again I was gripped by fear though. What if she didn't like me? What if she didn't want to play? What if Maxine Caulfield just wasn't good enough? Could I convince my mother and father to try this again differently? I very much doubted it. My hand had slipped up to nervously grip my elbow as I stared.
Catching sight of me in the doorway, Chloe stopped and looked at me curiously. I almost turned and ran away in that moment, except I was stalled by the presence that had come up behind me. It was my dad. He knelt down behind me, and leaned in to speak softly into my ear. "You should go and play Maxine. This is what you wanted after all." He gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Go on."
I slid the door open then, and stepped out into their backyard. Chloe watched me silently as I timidly began to approach. I stopped a fair distance away, and clutched my arm nervously. She gave me a long appraising look, before she smiled at me. I was so excited she was smiling. "Hi, I'm Chloe. What's your name?"
I looked away shyly. "I'm... I'm M-Max-" I didn't get to continue as she interrupted me enthusiastically.
"Your name is Max? That's a really cool name!" She grinned at me and offered out her hand. "Nice to meet you Max."
She liked my name. I was going to be Max from now on, forever. I bit my lip, and slowly shuffled forward to take her hand. "Nice to meet you too. I uhm... I like your name too."
She gave my hand a firm shake, and didn't let it go afterwards. "Do you like pirates Max?"
I just shrugged shyly. I didn't really know what she was talking about, everything was still so fresh and new to me. "Um...I don't know... are they cool?"
Chloe laughed, not in an unkind way, not at me, and nodded. "Pirates are the coolest! Come on... I'll show you. I'll be the captain, and you can by my first mate." She began gently tugging me further away from the door, and into the backyard proper.
We played for hours that day, and even though I knew intimately what it was to be wild and free, somehow Chloe made it all new to me. We were inseparable after that. We were always together, even when Chloe started school, we'd find ways to visit. When I started a year after her, we'd spend as much time as we could together at school, and all of our afternoons together. Our parents never became that close, but they were friendly, and I understand why my parents might have wanted to keep their distance, but it was impossible for them to remain completely aloof through all the play dates, and sleepovers.
My attachment to Chloe, our attachment to each other grew as time went by. This eventually began to concern my parents. I truly believe that their concern was concern for me, and my feelings, and not borne of some kind of bigotry. As we approached our teenage years they began to remind me more, and more often, that Chloe and I were very different. They'd remind me, we came from very different places, and that I was special. They would tell me I had so much potential I should be spending more time trying to fulfill. They would tell me that no matter how much I loved her, she would leave me one day, that that was just the way of the world for people like Chloe, and the Prices. I didn't really understand what that meant, not yet anyway.
I got a harsh lesson in just what they meant in my thirteenth year. William had become much like a second dad to me, and I loved him almost a fiercely as I loved my own father. He died, leaving a deep hole in Chloe's heart, and a deep confusion, at least at first, in mine. Certainly there are ways to kill us forever, but iron undiluted enough to harm us is rare in the modern world, the poisons that can kill us only exist on Fairer Shores, and well no one mortal does real Magic anymore. Barring these things, we always get better, so I didn't really understand at first, why William was never going to come home after the car accident. Joyce took it as denial, as a way to handle my grief, while Chloe would alternate between being angry with me for my ignorance, and holding to me twice as tightly when she needed comfort. My heart broke for her.
My parents finally sat me down, and explained it all to me. Mortals die so much more easily than we do. Eventually even time will kill them. They told me this was their world, not ours, that it was dangerous for us to intrude too much, mainly for us, but also for them. With understanding, my heart broke for William then, and again for Chloe, and Joyce, and also for myself. I lost William, and would lose Joyce, and Chloe too someday. I ran to Chloe then, wrapped her up so tightly she could barely breath, and really cried over everything. I believe that's when my parents decided it was time for us to join the rest of our family on Fairer Shores. No amount of begging would change their minds this time. We were leaving, and I had no choice in the matter.
My parents had decided that they would tell everyone we were moving to Seattle, because dad got a new job. It was a plausible explanation for our moving away. Many people were leaving Arcadia Bay for better prospects elsewhere. It was also just far enough away, and in a big enough city that if no one ever saw us again, they wouldn't find that strange, just perhaps unfortunate. It's not likely many people would remember much of us anyway, our time here would fade from vivid memory with time.
So in Chloe's time of need, I would be leaving. I was at least allowed to say my goodbyes, but nothing I said, or did changed the fact that we were leaving. It was the worst day of my life. I was being forced to leave the world I knew behind, and I was being forced to leave Chloe behind with it.
Chloe knew something was wrong the moment I stepped timidly into her room. She put her own grief aside for the moment, and led me over to the bed, sat us both down, and wrapped me up in her arms tightly. "What's wrong Max?" the concern in her voice was almost physical.
"I... we..." my words were broken up by sniffles. I threw my arms around her, and held on tightly, as I began to cry loudly. How was I ever going to live without my best friend?
"I... we're m-moving away. I have to... to -go away." I buried my face in her shoulder, and heaved in deep breaths as I tried to calm myself enough to talk. Chloe for her part didn't say anything, she just rocked me gently back and forth.
"We're...m-moving to Seattle, because dad got a new job." my voice came out softly, and thick with my sorrow.
"That's... not that far Max, we can... stay in touch, maybe even visit over the summer?" she brushed her fingers through my hair soothingly, and I almost just wanted to believe her, but I knew better.
"I... I don't know Chloe it's... complicated. I'll... I'll try." I bit my lip, hiding my face further into her shoulder.
"What's so complicated about staying in touch? Don't you Want to stay friends Max?" her voice broke, making her sound wounded, and young.
"I do Chloe... I do so much. I... love you, but it's complicated." I couldn't look up at her, as the soothing motions of her hands stilled.
"What's so complicated about it Max? You just pick up your phone, or write an e-mail, or a fucking letter." I could hear the angry tears in her voice.
"I can't... I'm not allowed..." I bite down on my lip. "I'll try my hardest Chloe... please."
She shook her head, pushing me away from her. "What aren't you telling me? Or is this all bullshit? You just want to go off, and leave Arcadia Bay behind, forget about everything, forget about me?" she looked so fierce, so angry, and yet I could see the vulnerability in her eyes, the hurt, and self-doubt.
"N-no Chloe you Know that's not true!" I reached out fisting my hands in her shirt, begging her silently to believe me, to believe the tears streaming down my face.
"Then help me understand Max... What's going on?" she's begged me with her eyes, and I almost broke right then. I shook my head instead. "I can't... I want to, but I can't."
She looked so disappointed then, turning her face away from me. "Then just.. get out Max. Just get out...Go." she spoke softly, defeated.
"I...I'll come back. I Promise okay? I don't know... how long it will take, but I'll come back, please just... believe me. I'll come back as soon as I can, I promise. Wait for me?" I bit down on my lip, trying to will her to look at me, to believe me.
"I said get out." she answered back coldly, still stubbornly looking away.
I got up slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes. My heart felt like it was tearing itself into tiny pieces. "I'll come back..." I promise one last tine in a broken whisper, before I slink out of her room, down the stairs, and out of the house for the last time.
We made a big production of packing things up, bringing boxes in, and taking things down. We had to make sure everything looked normal. We may not die easily, we may have abilities mortals don't believe in anymore, but there are a lot of them, we're not completely invincible, and forever is a long time to be held captive, to be experimented on. My parents feared their fear a lot, but feared their curiosity even more. It took us less than a week to finish up our little charade, less than a week of me hoping everyday Chloe would come and see me. I'd fantasize about her coming over to tell me she forgave me, that she believed me, and would wait. She never did.
Time passes differently on Fairer Shores. It moves sluggishly or quickly, or even not at all at the whim of the observer... most of the time. There is some uncertainty, or maybe agency in the passing of time. Fairer Shores doesn't really follow the kind of rules I was used to living in Arcadia Bay. It was all very new, exciting, and I was easily distracted by it's wonder, and beauty. I never forgot Arcadia Bay, or Chloe though, they were in my heart forever.
I spent my time learning, and impatiently trying to grow up, I needed to reach my age of majority as soon as possible so I could go back, and I needed to learn everything I could about my history, and abilities, so I could Prove myself worthy of being considered an adult. I had to do this so I could go back to the mortal world, go back to Arcadia Bay. The Fairer Shores were a wonderful place, but they weren't home, and they didn't have Chloe.
My parents, perceptive as they were, picked up on what I was planning to do, and set about trying convince me to stay. Again I truly believe they were worried only for my well being, but they weren't exactly kind in their attempts to convince me to stay. A favorite of theirs was to remind me that Chloe would eventually grow old, and die while I would have to watch her wither away, remaining forever young, and vital. It was painful to be sure, but I'd been a very good student, and I had a plan for that as well. True Love.
If I could find True Love, I could bind my life to a mortals, and while I'd never be one of them I could at least live, and die a mortal life span with my love. Of course my parents were quick to remind me that after five years, Chloe had probably forgotten about me, that the things I felt as a child were likely over blown in my memories after so much time passing. They weren't exactly wrong, and even I wasn't completely sure that my love for Chloe extended beyond best friendship, but I wanted to try. I wanted the opportunity to find out, and once I was recognized as an adult my parents would not be able to stop me. Still I loved them, so I made them a bargain.
Once I was an adult, and out in the mortal world again I would have a year, and a day to get Chloe, or some other mortal to fall in love with me, and to bind myself to her. If I didn't, then I would come back to the Fairer Shores, and remain with my people for at least a century. My parents figured I'd be over my childish notions by then, and would choose to stay on my own after. I would have their blessing, and I could be certain they would not interfere. The bargain wasn't exactly equal, but I figured that if they didn't interfere, it'd be much easier for me. Also if I couldn't find a way to stay near to Chloe, as her best friend or more, then it didn't matter when I could, or did spend time living in the mortal world. A century before I could go back would not be a big deal. Chloe was time sensitive, but Arcadia Bay would wait for me.
My day was fast approaching. I would soon have to prove I was worthy of being considered an adult. After that day I would be free to choose where and how I lived my life. After that day I would be able to go back to Arcadia Bay, and find Chloe again. I knew it was a long shot, considering how we left things, but I had hope that Chloe would still be waiting for me. If she had left Arcadia Bay, that'd make things infinitely more complicated, and I might just find myself stuck here again for another century, which wouldn't be such a bad thing, if Chloe simply wouldn't have me. If on the other hand my time were to run out before I could find her... I didn't really think I could live with that.
I tried to push those thoughts from my head, I needed to spend more time on preparing. I wasn't really worried about the history test, I knew my history well, from the rise of the high queen, to the mass exodus in the modern era. The courtly graces test was likewise no difficulty, I had my manners, and dance steps memorized. I really wasn't very coordinated, and these things wouldn't really come in handy in the mortal world, but I did have to admit some of those lessons were kind of fun. No, I was fine for the intellectual stuff, it was my quest that I worried over.
Every petitioner for recognition had to go on a quest. The nature of the quest was always different, sometimes highly personal, and sometimes not. Quests could also vary in length, and difficulty, it all depended on the whims of the Oracle.
Most people only see the Oracle once in their life, to get their quest. There are many rumors about the nature of the Oracle, but either those who have been to see it don't know, or won't say what is truth, and what is fiction. Some have said the Oracle is older than the high queen herself, maybe even the very first of us. Some say the Oracle isn't one of us at all, but a magical device crafted in antiquity by a master craftsman, and some yet say the Oracle is a being as different from us, as we are from mortals. Either way the Oracle had two functions, giving of quests to petitioners seeking recognition as an adult, and prophesy. Everyone saw the Oracle for the first, very few were summoned to the Oracle for the second.
I wasn't exactly the most physically fit among my people, and my fighting skills were...average at best, so I really hoped it wouldn't be an especially physical quest. No slaying dragons, or manticores or what have you. I honestly didn't really have much confidence in my intelligence either, so I was hoping against things like deadly riddles, or fatal puzzles. What I did have was a talent for Magic, and so I hoped my quest would have something to do with that. We're not exactly easy to kill for good, so quests were rarely permanently fatal, but it did happen on occasion, and well even being incapacitated could extend the length of your quest for a good long time. Time I definitely didn't want to waste on being nearly dead for who knows how long. I practiced my swordplay a lot, and read over all of the classic riddles, just in case.
Not knowing what my quest would be was the hardest part really. I hated the uncertainty. I may not have been the best student ever, but at least if I knew what I was going to be tested on, I could have studied for it. I could have been prepared. Worry ate at me, as the days counted down. The worst part was, I knew that the more I stressed the less capable I was going to be when the time came, and that would mean I was more likely to fail, which in turn just made me worry more. It was a vicious cycle, and I was trapped in it. The only thing that kept me from just breaking down completely was knowing that if I did this, I would get to go back to where Chloe was. I would get to go back home.
My parents watched over me silently as I wore myself to the bone practicing, trying to prepare myself. I could see their concern, but they did not interfere. I doubt I would have accepted it if they had tried anyhow. There was no way I'd ever be fully prepared since I wouldn't know what I'd need to do until the time came, that was probably the point, but I was trying to be as ready as possible. Their constant hovering presence though was something of a comfort, even as I realized I was working so hard to get away from them. Maybe there was a little bitterness on my end, but still, this wasn't engineered to hurt them. It wasn't a personal slight against them, I didn't seek to escape them specifically, I just needed to get back to Chloe, and they weren't willing to simply take me back to Arcadia Bay. I was just doing what I needed to do.
When my day arrived I was a raw bundle of nerves. Even though I was confident I would be able to do good enough on the more academic portions of my test, I was still worried about my quest. Like I'd said before, it was a big unknown, and that's really what bothered me the most. How could you prepare for something if you didn't know what it was going to be? The fact that, that was probably the point, didn't do anything at all to comfort me. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't turn back now. Chloe was out there somewhere, and the longer I procrastinated, the harder it would be to find her again. I was doing this so I could be with her again, and while that also did nothing to allay my fears, it did give me the determination to continue. I would succeed because I had no choice, I would succeed for Chloe.
The history portion of my ordeal went by fairly easily, as did the test on courtly etiquette. I only tripped a little bit when it came to dancing, and my fencing was passable. I was doing just fine, but the real worry was still yet to come. My quest. I hoped it wouldn't be something too time consuming, or difficult for me, but... I worried over it a lot as I waited my turn to see the Oracle.
I sat on a plush couch, in a sparsely decorated marble room. There were only too doorways on opposite walls, and no windows. The one I came in by was wide open, beckoning those with business in, and welcoming those waiting inside to leave at any time should they have a change of heart. The other portal was blocked off by heavy velvet curtains. That was were my eyes were focused, as I waited. That was where I'd have to go when my turn came. There was no one else waiting with me, so I knew my turn was coming soon.
"Come forth child of the Stag, and the Alder." a triumvirate voice calls from the behind the curtain. That was me, not that there was anyone else there for me to possibly be confused with.
I took a deep breath before standing up. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my stomach was full of butterflies. This was it. I walked hesitantly through the curtain, and down the long hallway behind it. It was decorated with marble statuary, and lavishly detailed tapestries of famous quests from the past, added to the length it all invoked a certain sense of drama to the simple act of walking to meet my fate. Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a simple act, but the hallway did make the whole affair feel bigger than it had to. The door at the end of the hallway though was surprisingly normal, plain wood, and no embellishments. It felt out of place, considering all the drama otherwise.
I stopped in front of the door uncertain of what to do. I couldn't decide if I should just go in, they were expecting me after all, or knock. I fidgeted there for a while, agonizing over what I should do, before I decided to do both. I reached up and knocked, just before opening the door, and stepping slowly inside.
The room was expansive. I couldn't really see the walls around the periphery, and the one just behind me appeared to be formed of tree trunks grown right up against each other. The domed glass ceiling, appeared to grow right out of the tree trunk walls, and showed the night sky above. I was sure it had still been day when I started walking down the hall, but then again time was funny on the Fairer Shores. The center of the room was dominated by a large wading pool, the center of which rose up to form a platform. The Oracle stood there, the three of them watching me as I began to approach.
They appeared to have grown right out of the platform, and consisted of a wizened old lady, with short, messy, graying brown hair, brown eyes, and appeared to have seen better times, a plump maternal woman of African descent with curly dark brown hair, and brown eyes, and finally a beautiful young woman, with long blonde hair, and hazel eyes. Their separate gazes all followed me as one, as I made my approach, and when I reached the edge of the pool they spoke as one. "Welcome petitioner. I am the Oracle. What is your purpose?"
I examined them, her, it? Quietly for a few moments. My hand moved subconsciously up to clutch my elbow as I did. They spoke as one, their eyes moved as one, though with the exception of their apparent attachment to the platform they occupied, they appeared to be separate entities. They all watched me expectantly as I got lost in my thoughts, and nerves.
Feeling extra self conscious then, I cleared my throat to answer them. "I... I've come to be given my quest, so that I um... so that I can be considered a full adult by society."
They all looked at each other, the first action that denoted they might be separate entities, and then back at me. "That is why you have come, but what is your purpose?"
I bit my lip, clutching at my elbow a little more tightly. I had no idea what they were asking me at that point. What did they mean my purpose? I shook my head slowly, looking back up at them. Was this part of the quest, I wondered. Was I still being tested. Finally I took a deep breath, and asked. "What do you mean, what's my purpose? I'm... not sure what you're asking me..."
"She's ignorant." said the maiden.
"She admits her ignorance." said the mother.
"She asks for guidance." said the crone.
"You seek to be an adult, yet you are still so young. What is your purpose?" they spoke in unison this time.
I fidgeted nervously, unsure of whether or not I should tell them what I was really after. I looked up at them, and bit my lip. They just stared back down at me, silently awaiting my answer, while I sweated. I exhaled softly, and nodded to myself. "I once lived in the mortal world... I want to go back. I... It's my home, and I left someone behind. I want to go back to... her."
"Is it love?" the maiden asked a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Is it Love?" the mother asked with a kindly look in her eyes.
"Is it Love?" the crone asked with a wisp of nostalgia in her voice.
I could feel my cheeks burn, and I bit my lip self-consciously. "I... I don't... I think so. Yes." I finally nodded resolutely, both to them, and myself.
They looked down at me for a moment, seeming to grow taller the longer they stared in silence. My stomach sank the longer that moment seemed to stretch on. I clutched my arm protectively, as I became convinced that I had given them the wrong answer, and now I was going to be in trouble. Or that maybe they'd just deny my petition out of hand, and send me home. Nervousness was blossoming into a full panic before they finally spoke again.
"Journey to the frozen desert, find the crystal caverns, and bring us three grains of the Sands of Time. Do this thing, and you will considered an adult in our society with all the rights, and privileges conferred thereof." They spoke as one, and then simply vanished. They left me alone, standing in a pool, in a vast empty room.
I had my quest now. I had no idea what I might face, or even where the frozen desert was located, but I would find out soon enough. I had my goal, and that was the important part. I could start preparing for my journey, and leave by dawn. I'd just need some time to study a map or two, and to pack up whatever I might need to take along. I was really finally doing it. I was going to make my way back to Chloe soon. I could feel it.