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" GILDED , GOLDEN "
all that is gold does not glitter
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stats | 2338 words. zuko, azula, ozai. rated t. 01.07.2018
summary | zuko is not gilded, or golden. he's far from perfect.
the moment the rivulets of destruction strike down upon the soil,
he knows he's made the greatest mistake of his life.
but he can't give up without a fight. au
author note | couldn't get this idea out of my head, so i just had to write it!
it ended up being a lot lengthier and taking a good bit longer than i anticipated.
i intended for this to be the beginning of a longer au ( hint hint time travel ),
but i'm not sure if it'll be worth the effort. we'll see if i just can't help myself.
reviews are very much appreciated, please let me know what you think!
it's my first story, please be gentle. :'D hope you enjoy!
disclaimer | i don't own avatar, of course. though i sorely wish i did.
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The moment the rivulets of destruction strike down upon the soil, he knows he's made a mistake. The greatest mistake in his life. Within seconds, the acrid smoke of burning forests reaches his nostrils, and he blanches. The comet may bestow upon him the power of one hundred suns, but unlike his sister and father on platforms beside him, his face does not bear the same feral aggression.
"Come with me, my children," his father had said. "Come with me, and we shall make the Earth Kingdom kneel before the power of the Phoenix King." They both had, of course. After all, with the avatar struck dead with lightning in the glowing green catacombs under Ba Sing Se, the avatar's friends captured and executed in the palace's public courtyard, his own uncle passing in his sleep in the filthy Fire Nation cells, there is no one left to challenge their reign. No one with enough power, enough will to rouse a rebellion against the near invincibility the comet bestows upon its people, at least.
All that's left for the people of earth, always unwilling to yield even against poor odds, always stubborn down to the last breathe, is to hide.
His father was the first to unleash his power. The fire makes the forest below glow a bleeding red, and even from his own position on a similar platform on a neighboring war ship, he can feel the fire as if it is beside him. The heat triggers momentary surges of panic. It's like being burned all over again, but instead of the left side of his face, it is now the entirety of the Earth Kingdom and all of its people that suffer.
His sister follows soon after, her blue flames roaring and twisting and crashing against the trees below. The blue brightens the red world, but it offers him no solace. It is not the soothing blue of water, nor the quiet navy of the night sky; this blue crackles with intensity and death, and its result is no different from the reds that follow on the dozens of warships behind him.
As a firebender positioned on the open air platform, and as fire nation royalty, it is expected that he follows suit. He now stands on the only ship without flames bursting forth from it. His father glances at him and scowls before he turns his attention back towards the forest, and though he can't see his sister on the opposite side of his father, he imagines her face holds the same disappointment and disgust. But he can't do it.
Underneath them are only trees and dirt, but from the map burned into his memory, he knows that in mere seconds they will come across the first town. Barely a town, in fact, more of a village, but the place houses people, nonetheless. Living, breathing, terrified people. He hadn't visited the specific village on his travels, but he can imagine those who live there. They're not rebels, nor are they of any threat to the Fire Nation. Perhaps they do need the aid and technological knowledge the Fire Nation promises to spread after its conquest of the world, but it is only because the Fire Nation stole their livelihoods away from them in the first place. They're simply people finding a way to live amidst destruction. And even after one hundred years of war, they are still strong and kind. He knows this, personally.
They don't deserve this. They don't deserve any of this.
Years ago, in another life, he held fast to the illusion that perhaps if he had indeed captured the avatar and presented his success to his father, he would be accepted. He would truly enjoy the life of fire nation royalty. His father, the once cold and harsh figure in his life, would speak to him with praises and affection. Perhaps even love. His life would be like what he imagined it should have been. He'd sit at the edge of his beloved pond and throw bread crumbs to the awaiting turtle ducks, and they'd quack and reach their little necks up towards his hand for more. He could act like the years hadn't passed, that he was back, safe in his mother's arms. And even though she wasn't truly there, he'd continue with his life, because at least he was where he was supposed to be.
He may not be as quick as his sister, may rely on impulse rather than planning, but he's been tutored on strategy since he could barely walk. He's not an idiot… At least, not always. Not with this: he knows his uncle didn't die peacefully in his cell. His uncle might have been lazy, but he wasn't old, nor weak. He was poisoned. By his father or sister he isn't sure, but he suspects it was the former who gave the command and the latter who executed it. His uncle, who supported him and stayed with him all through his banishment. Who taught him nearly everything he knows. Who was more of a father than his true father ever was. When his uncle was murdered, what did he do?
He's headstrong, nearly as stubborn and immovable as an earthbender. He often lets his emotions control him, but at least he's passionate. He may be 'lucky to be born,' but he's had to fight for what he has, and that's made him strong. They're qualities that he prides himself on. He values honor above all else, but he looks down at himself now, at his gold stitched robes and fire red armor, a crown in his head, and wonders where all those traits, where his honor, have fled to.
When his uncle was murdered, he did nothing. He was afraid. Afraid that speaking out would lose him everything, just as he had years ago, when he had been burnt and banished.
It's taken him three years of banishment, two dead family members, one burn scar, and the prospect of zero Earth Kingdom survivors for him to realise that he's wrong, so, so wrong. His memories, like his fantasies, are gilded, golden. Never will they be true.
Now he thinks that perhaps the glowing crystals of the catacombs, the tree in the royal gardens, his uncle's warm tea, may be the last vestiges of green that he'll ever see. Already the greens below are ashes, and the village appears on the horizon.
No. I can't do it. I can't let them die. He's made his mind. He's been a coward ever since he watched the avatar die. No, long before that. When he first set eyes on the beam of blue light in the frigid South Pole. He should have joined the avatar when he had extended his hand of friendship. He thinks back to the times he's been shown kindness, and the people who have offered it to him.
His mother. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.
His uncle. Never give up without a fight.
The avatar. If we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends too?
The water tribe girl. Maybe you could be free of your mark.
Song. I know what you've been through. We've all been through it. The Fire Nation has hurt you ... It's okay. They've hurt me, too.
Lee and his family. I'll take you to my house and feed your ostrich horse for you. Come on, I owe you!
None of whom are his sister or father, all of whom are dead or dying. He's betrayed his mother, because he's forgotten his strength, courage, tenacity. He's betrayed his uncle, because he hasn't fought hard enough, if at all. Though he never sided with the avatar or his band, he feels as though he's betrayed them too, betrayed the world, because he's helping to bring chaos to a world that must be balanced. And he's betrayed the kindness the strangers of the Earth Kingdom have shown him by burning them all to the ground.
He regrets every second he stayed quiet. The village is below the airships now, and though all he can hear are the roar of the fires, he knows somewhere down there the people are screaming out in pain.
He knew it would come to this.
He hadn't spoken up in the war room.
He hadn't acted as he put on his armor.
Now he must.
He knows it's too late, but he must act. Not doing so is a betrayal to everyone he loved, to the world, and to himself. His father is disappointed that no fire blooms from his son's palm, but his disappointment has not yet turned to anger. It's not much of an advantage, and he's well aware that, while the comet bestows upon him power, it also grants the same amount to his father. There is no outcome in which he will win in a battle, especially not with his sister and the entire army at his father's command. But he must act.
Luckily, among all his indecisions, he has made this decision quick enough. He summons the breath within him and focuses it through his body and out his fists in a powerful jet of fire, striking the engine of his father's warship. The ship won't quickly crash, but as it begins to lose altitude, he knows his well aimed fire has rendered it useless. His father's flame goes out as he loses his balance, and he quickly registers the treacherous act. The seconds it takes his father is enough for him to leap out onto the falling ship, kick a downwards arc of flame towards his sister's ship, and stabilize himself as he lands. The metal groans and the immediate air begins to fill with the stench of oil rather than woody smoke. He pivots quickly and blasts another fireball at his own ship's engine. The machines now losing altitude are only three of dozens, but at least he's taken out the largest of them.
By this time, both his father and sister have used their firebending jets to rocket themselves atop the massive ship. They face each other at opposite ends. His father roughly casts off his cloak, sending it burning in the wind, and his sister's eyes gleam manically.
He closes his eyes and inhales. He knows it might well be his final breathe, but at least now he can say he's tried. He doesn't deserve forgiveness, never will, but he wasn't a coward to the end. He opens his eyes.
His sister and father send twin jets of red and blue coursing towards him. He throws up a wall of fire to block, then retaliates with quick jabs at both. A streak of blue nearly grazes his left shoulder and he jumps right to avoid it, only to barely avoid crashing into a huge blast of red. His sister joins with another wall of sustained fire. Before he can become boxed in, he sweeps his leg out, an arc of his own fire racing towards the figures. They easily avoid, but their flames sputter. As the embers clear, he raises his hands together to launch a slice of fire, only to feel a sudden stinging pain in his side. He gasps and drops to one knee. Barely half a minute, and he's already been beaten. He'd expected as much, but he'd hoped for more.
"Prince Zuko, I am very disappointed. I had thought your banishment reformed you, but it seems your pathetic uncle finally got to you, even after death." His father's tone is indifferent; he'd rather return to destroying the Earth Kingdom than bother with the fate of his son. His father turns to his sister. "Finish him, Azula." His sister smirks and points her index and middle fingers, swirling her hands in a familiar circular pattern.
He nearly laughs himself. Of the few things he feared and hated, lightning was on the list. Now it's a blessing in disguise. He shakily stands and braces himself.
As his sister completes the circle and the blue light arcs towards him, his father turns away. A foolish action, but one that has made his decision infinitely easier. He takes the lightning through his own two fingers, channels the energy into his center, and releases it out through his other hand. It strikes his father in the back, and he tumbles off the airship and falls, his figure disappearing in the fires below.
His sister lets her mouth fall open in astonishment, but she's never been one to falter. She quickly turns back to him in rage and lets loose a barrage of fiery spinning kicks and jabs. He tries his best to avoid them, but with his injured side and his energy drained from the redirection, one hits his arm and another his leg. He falls to his knees, the searing pain quickly overtaking his senses. His sister glares at him a final time, her eyes alight with fire, then effortlessly springs to one of the rock pillars that only now does he notice.
"Goodbye, Zuzu." Her words aren't dripping with her usual derision and mockery; it's hatred-fueled, icy and cold, much like the numbness that now seems to spread through his body. He feels like he's freezing. His brain duly registers that, amidst the furnace, there is something horribly wrong with the chill that seems to spread through his veins. Then she falls out of his line of sight, and he turns his eyes downward.
The warship is nearing the burning forest now. His father's body has likely long since burned away to ash, as will his, soon enough.
Zuko is not gilded, or golden. He's not a prince, he's an outcast. He's failed so many people. On this day, in this hour, he's made his differences. It will never be enough. But at least, in the end, he can apologize to the ones who really mattered. He lets himself fall into the fires.
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and there you go. hope you enjoyed!
i'd love to hear any feedback, or if you'd
be interested in a continuation!