Disclaimer: All characters of the Harry Potter Universe are property of J.K. Rowling. Any canon characters, scenes, or plots that I use are not mine and I do not profit from them.

Warning: M for language, violence, and some eventual smut.

A/N: I want to thank the amazing and so very friendly FFnet member SheAlone for being my Beta for this story. Her work has been a source of inspiration for me and if you haven't read The Debt of Time time then you need to head over and do so.

Wolf and I

Chapter One: The World Ends

Green flames crackled and sputtered as a hunched silhouette emerged from a great stone fireplace. As soon as the figure stepped out its hues evolved back into those of warmth, casting dancing shadows against the dark wood and brick that made up the Leaky Cauldron. The sighing man wore shabby robes, which had been repaired magically one too many times, and dark circles marred his face despite his youth. After smoothing out the fabric, he ran a hand absentmindedly through mousy hair before making his way to the bar.

Few people would be around to bother him here. Even with the recent demise of 'You-Know-Who', the patronage of what had once been the heart of Diagon Alley had still not returned. The Daily Prophet wrote about the dawning of a new era for the wizarding world, and while it wasn't front page news anymore there was always something to read about the boy who lived. Just thinking about it caused the wizard's green eyes to close as memories of his best friends painfully bubbled up.

"He'll be a Seeker all right! Just look at him go and he can't even bloody walk yet!" Sirius boomed with delight as he pointed to his levitating godson.

The little boy, who had only taken his first few wobbly steps last week, was now holding on tightly to the base of a miniature broomstick as it made turn after turn around his shocked mother.

"Sirius Black, if my son falls from that broom it'll be your head!" Lily Potter scowled while mentally promising to lock the thing up for a least a few years as soon as Sirius left. She would not let that man poison her son with thoughts of Quidditch already. Her Harry was going to favor academics over sports.

"He'll be the youngest Seeker there ever was," remarked Remus with a big grin. His face was filled out and had a healthy glow. Any stubble that may have marred his face had been removed by a useful Evanesco. The wizard laughed as the small boy bumped into his leg with less force than a tiny Bludger. "Careful now," he chided as the boy giggled and drifted deviously towards the family's cat.

"Oi! You hear that, James? Try not to be jealous when your son steals the spotlight," the dark-haired wizard barked. He went up to his godson and scooped him off the broom, causing Harry's little brows to furrow with frustration. The birthday boy let out an angry wail before Sirius placed him gently upon the ground. "What a beastly little lad," he said playfully as he ruffled the boy's fuzzy hair. "Just like your father I'd say!"

"Padfoot!" The boy cried as his little fists shook through the air and tears slid down his ruddy cheeks.

Before James or Lily could move to console the boy, his troublemaking godfather shifted into his Animagus form and began licking the salty tears away. Lily rolled her eyes as James beamed proudly at his best friend.

"That was one of his first words, right?" Remus asked slowly with a wink as the boy grabbed onto the black dog's fluffy tail and shrieked happily. "Wait, wasn't the first one actually da-"

"Not in front of him!" James and Lily both yelled in unison, causing the whole room to erupt in laughter at the young adults who had slowly blossomed into parenthood. Sirius howled before rolling onto his belly and Remus clutched his sides painfully, his ribs still bruised from the last full moon.

That had been one of the last times Remus had seen all his friends at once, including the young boy with eyes like his mother and unmanageable hair like his father.

There were few moments to be completely off guard in those days and in the case of Remus, he was almost always sent off on Order business. The werewolf packs he infiltrated were extremely suspicious and dangerous; this left him unable to communicate very often with those he cared for back home. The few occasions when he did return, he was often exhausted mentally and physically. Without the Wolfsbane Potion to retain his clarity during the full moon, he was unable to control his inner animal. So instead he fully surrendered to it, allowing Moony to take the reins around the packs, which in return made them accept him.

Accept was a strong word and perhaps not quite the right one, but he was allowed to exist among them. Remus had often awoke battered and bruised after the full moon and with the metallic taste of blood lingering in his mouth. Fresh wounds were always expected and while sometimes minor, others raked far across flesh and dug deep, leaving the silvery scars behind. There was, of course, the impulse to mate as well; thankfully, the females often targeted more mature and intimidating males. While this angered the wolf, it satisfied the man who no longer wished for temporary trysts with strangers.

"Hello, Mr. Lupin," a friendly voice greeted, snapping Remus back to reality.

He had been staring off into the fire as he sat upon a wooden stool and rested his arms against the bar. The place had a musty smell that was completely unique to it, laced with hints of alcohol and oak. The man's green eyes rose to those of Tom's as he tried to muster up a friendly smile that ended up somewhere in the zone of a grimace.

"I've told you that you can call me Remus, Tom. It's only fair."

The innkeeper gave a shrug. "I suppose so. Yer still pretty young, I reckon, even if you look about thirty." He gave a hearty chuckle before flicking his wand through the air, causing a cup to appear and land right in front of Remus's surprised and then frowning face. "Will it be the usual?"

The werewolf nodded as soreness crept up his bones and reminded him why he had used Floo powder to get to the pub and not Apparition. He would have risked getting splinched in his current state and was honestly surprised that he had not made a wrong turn before ending up in Diagon Alley.

He looked up to see Tom had returned with a bottle of Firewhisky and then provided him with a generous helping. Remus tried to wave his hand to stop the flow of amber liquid, but the innkeeper kept pouring. "It's on me. You look like you need it anyways."

Remus finally mustered a smile and expressed his thanks. He wouldn't turn down an offer of the mind numbing liquor he had grown attached to. Of course, he had always indulged with his best friends for the sake of fun but now it served a different purpose. It made things easier for him. The thought of friends once again made his stomach flip, so he placed the cup to his lips and drank deeply, the burning sensation and hard kick of it comforting.

"You know that I'll be twenty-two in a few months?" Remus said quietly as his legs began to feel lighter and his mind softer.

Remus was sleeping restlessly against the earth. Sweat beaded on his forehead as his body tossed and turned. It was the night of the full moon and the rest of the pack was restless. He could sense the overwhelming, almost electric feeling that filled the air and teased out his primal senses. He would soon be completely Moony and no longer Remus.

He would have been awoken by the sounds of the others stirring if not for the voice of Albus Dumbledore that appeared in the form of an ethereal phoenix.

"Godric's Hollow has been attacked." The voice of the Order's leader - so often calm - was laced with pain.

Remus's eyes flashed open and he stood up abruptly, pulling his wand from his pocket and gripping it with ferocity, his animal instincts and human emotions mixing powerfully.

The phoenix paused before lowered its head slightly, its words grave, "There is nothing that can be done. Return to headquarters after the full moon. Do not Apparate."

Any color that may have tinged his face left in an instant, the young man's body becoming as white as the full moon, his blood turning cold. His eyes filled with tears as he angrily gripped his wand and thrust it towards the Patronus yelling, "No! I will not wait here!" His mind raced with images of James, Lily, and the littlest Potter at his first birthday party. He thought of how bright their smiles were and what a source of hope they were, especially for him. Remus began to think about where he wanted to be, his brows pulled together in determination. Godric's Hollow.

He was so close to Apparating when a familiar but unwelcome pain ripped through his body and left him face down on the earth. "Not now," he thought as he fought against the inevitable, his face rubbing against dirt and rocks as tears still flowed.

He threw his wand before emerging claws began scratching at his own flesh, the bones breaking and stretching beneath discardable skin. Before long he could no longer think due to the pain that continued building. There was the crackling of his spine as it elongated and then the feeling of fire bathing his skin as fur grew through flesh. His face elongated into a canine muzzle and eyes turned a startling yellow color. Despite this tears still clung to the orbs and were the only hint left of his humanity.

The phoenix remained where it was throughout the process; Dumbledore knew that this would happen. The old wizard's words were quiet. "I am sorry Remus..." the phoenix paused as Moony stirred and began to raise himself off the ground. The other one inside him was sad, and for some reason the wolf felt sadness too. "…but the boy lived."

Something was missing, members of his pack. It was not the pack he was living amongst, it was his true pack. Members were gone. Sadness turned to anger inside the wolf and he lashed out at the phoenix, claws ripping through the air and jaws snapping together in an attempt to catch it. He wanted to kill the source of sadness.

The Patronus disappeared and the wolf raised its head towards the sky, its mouth erupting in a frightening and eerie cry that was neither man nor beast.

Remus's eyes were brimming with tears as he shook his head. He was quite drunk, but this night it seemed he would not be able to escape his past. He had enough sense not to let Tom see him in such a state, so he downed another gulp of Firewhisky, hoping to fill himself up with the liquid courage.

It had been only two months since the murder of three of his best friends by the hand of another. Sirius Black had betrayed them all. Remus would have probably been another casualty if he had not been with the werewolf pack and even then that particular full moon had almost killed him. He had awoken bleeding out and covered in bite marks and cuts from a mourning and bloodthirsty Moony, yet he forced himself to Floo back to the Order headquarters through an abandoned Muggle cabin. Once he got there he had planned on strangling Dumbledore, but instead he had collapsed into the man's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Hey, Tom! Fill me up again like the good man that you are," he slurred as he sat down his cup a little too forcefully onto the table. He smiled in his drunken stupor as Tom grabbed the bottle of Firewhisky and then held it for a while, contemplating what it could lead to, before returning it back to the shelf. The innkeeper instead flicked his wand in the air and Remus looked down happily and raised the cup to his lips. He took a large mouthful before grimacing and placing the cup back down. "This is tasteless, Tom."

"That's because it's water," the man said with a laugh as he walked toward a witch who had just cozied up to the bar.

It was getting late now and patrons were bound to start pouring in. Remus had gotten drunk before it was even acceptable and in wizard standards that time was already quite early. He attempted to think of a specific spell… something about turning water into wine. He scratched his head lazily before giving up. He didn't want to conjure up something that tasted like onion juice on accident.

Before he could think of another spell to turn his water into something more drinkable, he heard the screech of an owl and turned his head just in time to see a soot-colored bird no bigger than his fist veer straight toward him. The small creature fluffed out its wings right before landing and then slid slightly across the bar, stopping right in front of a confused Remus. It had a small piece of parchment attached to its legs and its large, orange eyes gave him a look of what seemed like disappointment.

The young man glared back at the owl before untying the parchment from its leg. He then gestured to the water that he had now found a use for. "Quit giving me that look and drink up."

He slowly unrolled the parchment to find familiar and elegant script:

Mr. Lupin,

I have enclosed an address to a location where you will find something that may interest you. While I hope that this will brighten you from your current mental state, I cannot with certainty predict how you may feel regarding the matter. I believe, however, that we all need something to lift our spirits in these dark times.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Remus re-read both pieces of parchment at least a dozen times. Dumbledore was known for his cryptic messages but what had surprised Remus the most was that the address he had included was that of a Muggle dwelling.

"Merlin's beard," the young wizard growled as he waved Tom over. His head throbbed to the rhythm of his heart. "I know this is a pub, but do you happen to have any Sober-Up Potion?"