Name – Blonds
Genre – Romance/Humor
Warnings – Bi, Het, Yaoi
Main Pairing – NaruSasuIno, (mentions of) SaiSaku
Side Pairings – NaruSasu, SasuIno
One-Sided Pairings – SakuSasu, NaruSaku
Friendship Pairing – Team 7
They're dynamite...
Summary – They're loud. They're annoying. They're stupid. They're reckless. And yet Uchiha Sasuke can't get enough of them.
000
1.
Uchiha Sasuke had no idea what he was thinking when he agreed to take Ino on a date. The woman was mayhem in flesh and blood. He glared at her as she caused a scene in the restaurant. They haven't even gone to their table yet and Ino had already managed to get into a fight with some snobby aristocrat's daughter.
She looks very out of place for some reason. Even though her hair had been braided into an elegant knot on top of her head, so much like the woman she was arguing with – even though she was wearing a short black, strapless dress very similar to other women in the restaurant. Something about her just made her stand out. Made it so obvious that she didn't belong in the prestigious dining hall of The Capitan.
Sasuke winched when Ino had finally had enough and punched (punched!) the young woman across the table. She placed her hand on her hip and smirked at her victim before turning to him the smirk dropping when she spotted the outraged expression on her date's face. 'Uh..' She began, only to be caught off guard by the young woman's mother flinging herself on top of her.
Sasuke was too busy fuming to notice the father heading in his direction. It was only when the man head-butted him in the stomach that he realized he had become part of the fight. He tried, and utterly failed, to get the man off of him without hurting him. In the end Sasuke was forced to use Sharingan.
Snarling like an alley cat Sasuke turned his blazing eyes towards the two females. Ino was obviously winning. Her eyes held a fire that was somehow disturbingly similar to his own as she lifted the, rather massive, mother over her head and send her flying to the other side of the room. Sasuke watched her fly with a twitch of his eyebrow. 'Ino…'
The blond woman froze in position. She turned to him with wide eyes as if just realizing he was still there. She smiled sheepishly. 'Ah! Yeah, the date, uh, let's enjoy it, shall we?'
As expected Sasuke had simply turned around and left. Ino had called after him, but what stopped by the owner of the restaurant and was kicked unceremoniously out of the place. She shouted after the security, who merely ignored her and walked back inside to help clean up the mess. Sasuke's back tensed more and more at each word of profanity that slipped from Ino's mouth.
With a hiss he marched back to her. 'Shut it!'
And she fell silent. Her mouth formed an 'o' as she stared up at him. For one second her eyes blaze as she wants to claw his eyes out and Sasuke almost takes a step back, but then she smiles and stands up, brushing the dirt off her dress. Sasuke stared suspiciously at her.
'Well!' She laughs loudly, placing both hands on her hips and pointedly looking in any direction but his, 'This isn't going as well as I'd have liked. So… next week, same time?'
Sasuke had to admit. There was something about Yamanaka Ino that intrigued him. Why else would he have agreed?
2.
Naruto was glaring at him again. For no reason. He had been doing that a lot lately. And it was starting to annoy him. But Sasuke remained silent as he felt Naruto's eyes burn a hole into his head.
'You know,' The blond began. 'Sakura says you've been spending a lot of time with Ino lately.'
'I have. We're dating.' Sasuke answered smoothly. He refused to turn around, even after hearing a series of choking and spluttering coming from his right. If the dumb blond suffocated it was his own fault for being nosy.
'What?!'
'Too loud, urusatonkachi.' Just like another blond he knew.
'Shut up, teme!' Naruto hissed and he reached out to grab the other's hand. Sasuke immediately tensed.
'Let go of me.'
'No!' Naruto spat out, 'Not until you tell me why you're dating Ino and not Sakura!'
Sasuke almost fell of his seat. He gave the blond a dumbfounded look. 'What? You're mad because of that?'
Naruto growled. 'Yes, you're damn right I'm mad about that. Sakura loves you to pieces, you bastard! So why aren't you dating her?'
'Why aren't you dating her?' Sasuke fired back, 'You're the one who's been in love with her since forever.'
Silence. Naruto's hold on his hand tightened as he shot daggers at the Uchiha with his eyes. Sasuke glared back, getting angry at his friend's stupidity and accusations. He wants to punch him. Only he doesn't. Because Naruto's eyes suddenly loose their spark and he's staring him, looking lost. 'Because I'm not the one she wants.'
Sasuke shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wasn't good at soothing people. He wasn't exactly an expert on love advice either. 'Naruto-' He began.
'It's just so… messed up. This whole love-dating thing.' Naruto fumed. 'I would do anything for Sakura, anything. But—I mean she loves me, but… not the way I want her to. She'd actually date Sai or Lee before she'd even consider me. And I just don't know why.'
Sasuke didn't speak. He simply stared at Naruto, wondering what to do as the blond sank back into his seat, but for some reason he didn't let go of his hand. Sasuke frowned at it. 'Naruto, your hand.'
Naruto blinked at him before looking down. He lifted their locked hands with an expression Sasuke couldn't figure out for the life of him. 'You have soft hands.' Naruto mumbled. Then he shook his head and pulled free with more harshness than Sasuke would've liked.
'You could've had her.' Naruto whispered. 'I would've been okay with that. It would hurt, but not so much, you know.'
Sasuke had half a mind to shake his head because, no, he didn't know. He was getting seriously confused, even a bit scared, at his friend's behavior.
'But you choose Ino. After all the heartbreak and fights and tears you didn't even pick Sakura. You choose Ino of all people.' Naruto looked up. The look on his face made Sasuke want to reach out and tell him it was alright. 'Why?'
Naruto didn't even wait for Sasuke's answer. He simply stood up, paid for both of them and left. Sasuke watched him leave. The slight bounce Naruto always had in his steps was missing and something in his chest tightened painfully.
Later that night Sasuke rang the doorbell to his friend's apartment. Naruto opened the door with a smile, but it fell when he saw who was behind it. 'Sasuke.'
The Uchiha was glaring murder at him. For a second Naruto thought Sasuke was going to scream at him, but instead he was grabbed by the hair and pulled into a kiss. Sasuke's lips were warm, soft and tasted salty. Naruto licked his own unconsciously when he pulled away. For once in his life Naruto was speechless. Sasuke looked confused at own actions, but then he smirked. A smirk so similar to the one he wore in their genin years that Naruto bristled.
'I told Ino about what happened at Ichiruka's.' Sasuke said, halting Naruto in whatever he was about to do. 'She kicked me out and told me to kiss and make up.'
3.
Ino stared at the two in disbelief. Sasuke wanted to smack her. He didn't like people gaping at him like he was crazy. Naruto looked like he would want nothing more than to be sucked into a black hole.
'So,' Ino started, 'you went over to Naruto's place after I told you to apologize.'
'Actually,' Naruto butted in, sending a glare in the Uchiha's direction, 'you told him to kiss and make up.'
'Right. So you went over to Naruto's place after I told you to "kiss and make up" and you actually did just that?' Sasuke gave her a look. Naruto turned several shades of red. 'And then Naruto punched you and-and pounced you on the spot. And I mean pounced in a sexual way.'
A squeak from Naruto. A glare from Sasuke. Ino sighed. Where was Sakura when you needed her? She had dealt with these utter boys for years. 'Well,' Both of them looked expectantly at her though Ino for the life of her couldn't figure out what it was they wanted to hear, 'I guess, that makes three then?'
Naruto's eyes sparkled with a heavy emotion before he, once again, blushed vividly and looked down at his sandals. Sasuke turned away. He would never live it down if either of them saw him smile.
4.
'EH? Sakura and Sai??'
'Yep,' Ino said, shining like a proud mother watching her child sing before the Hokage, 'Saw them walking hand in hand towards The Capitan. I tell you, that's where 99 percent of all romances begin.' She send a meaningful look towards Sasuke, but she was ignored.
Sasuke was reading yet another jutsu scroll. As if he wasn't powerful enough.
Both blonds sighed. 'What are we going to do with him?' Ino wondered aloud.
'Well, I could think of one thing.' Naruto answered with a wicked grin. Ino gave him one of her own.
Sasuke felt a shiver run down his spine. He looked up to see his two blond lovers gave him frighteningly matching grins. Seconds ticked by and they pounced. Sasuke didn't complain.
5.
'Take him down. Yeah, Sakura!' Naruto shouted drunkenly. Ino whooped in encouragement.
Sasuke, who was sulking in the seat next to him, gave both an evil glare. If he knew Sai and Sakura's wedding was going to end like this he would've stayed home. He stared blankly at the newly weds going at each other's throat. How they managed to stay together for so long without one of them dying or having to go to the hospital every week was beyond him. You would've thought Sai had learned by now that calling Sakura ugly was suicidal. But no, the guy just didn't learn. That, or he was masochistic.
Then again, who was he to complain about someone else's relationship? Here he was, sitting between two obnoxious blonds, both the perfect example of a stereotype that Sasuke usually wouldn't be caught dead with.
But he'd grind his teeth whenever he saw someone flirting with Ino as if they actually thought they could get away with it with all limbs intact. He'd clench his fists whenever he saw a girl batting her eyelashes at Naruto as if she could be lover to him than he was.
They were going to be the death of him. They sure killed his reputation of being an icicle despite the fact that Sasuke hadn't changed a bit. Just being around them was enough. And it irked him because he had no idea what it was that he saw in them.
They were loud. They were annoying. They were stupid. They were reckless in ways that made Sasuke flinch. And yet Sasuke just couldn't get enough of them.
He rolled his eyes when Ino tripped over her own stiletto-clad feet in her excitement to join the wrestling. Naruto got up to help her only to crash into a chair and land right on top of her. They cursed loudly, glared at each other accusingly for some reason before laughing. Sasuke couldn't help but smile.
They were dynamite.