Yellow and orange faded into the surrounding grey sky, and the waves crashed steadily into the sandy bank as the day slowly made way for night. The stiff, brunette woman breathed in deeply as she closed her eyes. She had needed a break; had needed an uncompromised place to think. Her mansion, her office, the diner, the stables, and even the forest all held some significance to her troubled life, but the beach had remained untouched by the harsh reality of her fate. She had barely visited in the thirty years she'd lived in Storybrooke, and now, as she stared at the inviting sunset and calm waters, she wished she'd made more trips to this side of town.
Bending slightly, Regina Mills slipped out of her heels, leaving them behind on the boardwalk as she stepped onto the beach. She hesitated, wiggling her toes in the sand before moving closer to the water. With each step, the town behind her disappeared from her conscious mind. She stopped before reaching the wet sand, not wanting to dampen the bottom of her black pants. She breathed, filling her lungs without a struggle for once.
Regina tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she let her eyes drift over the quiet waves to the setting sun. She wrapped her arms around her body, attempting to block out the cold air. A part of her was concerned at the unusual temperature, but the other, stronger, part decided not to care. If it turned out to be a new threat or problem, someone would find her.
A slight breeze began to float around her, releasing her hair from its restraint. She tightened her grip around her body, ignoring her hair as it flew away from her face. Regina breathed in deeply, holding it as she watched the sun slip away a little more. This had been the first moment in nearly two years that she'd had time to fully wrap her mind around everything that had happened. She had lost Henry, found him, and then lost him again. She had been heartbroken, without her heart, overwhelmingly happy, and then back to heartbroken. She had gained a family in more ways than one and lost all of it. She had even managed to change from evil to good. Saying she had been on a twisted, tumultuous roller coaster of emotions would be a close yet still understated statement. She pursed her lips when her briefly cleared mind was once again drowning in thoughts.
-Robin -
Regina closed her eyes, shaking her head. The once missing year flashed behind her shut eyelids, reminding her of every missed opportunity with him. She had been hateful and degrading, and she wished she could go back to change it all. It was precious time she could have spent with him, and now that Marian was back, she had none at all. She opened her eyes, swallowing to clear her throat. She shook her head again, not wanting to think about him. It hurt too much to accept that he was gone. He had chosen his wife, but as much as it broke her, she understood why. She let out a shaky breath, bouncing one leg momentarily. It served to distract her, but she had never been able to hide from her thoughts.
-Zelena-
Regina looked down to her bare feet, curling her toes into the sand. It still baffled her as to why her sister had died; had taken her own life as it appeared. What if they had had a chance to be a family? What if they could have bonded over the lack of Cora's love or the evilness that had consumed them for years? If Zelena had taken her second chance, maybe Regina wouldn't be so alone at this moment? Maybe she would have someone to talk to instead of battling the same pattern of thoughts over and over again? Regina blinked quickly, holding back tears. She lifted her chin, her lips trembling slightly as she blurrily glared at the retreating sun. Why couldn't she have a family?
-Henry-
Regina breathed in sharply as her son's name sounded in her head. She had him, and as long as he was around, she had family. It may not be through blood or marriage, but he loved her stronger than her parents, sister, or any man ever had. He loved her unconditionally, and he only wanted her to be happy. She smiled sadly, wiping at the few stray tears slipping down her cheeks.
-I have Henry-
It was the best feeling to be able to think and say that again. During the past year, she had been so devastatingly convinced that she would never see him again, and on more occasions than one, it had nearly destroyed her. Regina let out a deep breath, realizing she should have never doubted it. She should have had more hope in seeing him; she should have known his grandparents, the good heroes, would have found a way. They always did. She closed her eyes, letting out a frustrated groan when tears easily pushed past her lashes.
-"You're not a villain."-
At Henry's voice, her watery eyes burst open and her hand shot to cover her mouth as a quiet sob escaped her lips. He had been so young, so naïve when he had said those wonderful words a little over a year ago, but the truth was, in fact, the opposite. She was a villain. It didn't matter if she didn't want to be one anymore or even that she hadn't done an evil act since stopping the diamond trigger; she would always be a villain. Her past was dark and she had destroyed too much for too long. It was too late for forgiveness and for her to get a happy ending. Regina tightened her arms around her body, her features tensing in hopes of keeping back the onslaught of tears.
-"Pixie dust doesn't lie. Come on, this is your chance at love and happiness."-
Tinkerbelle's words knocked Regina to her knees, and she used her hands to brace her fall. She cried out once, returning her arms to her body and trying unsuccessfully to breathe in as she curled into herself. She had had her chance long ago outside that tavern. She hadn't taken it then, and now her destiny was to be haunted and tortured by that exact memory and the constant sight of Robin with his reunited family. She would have to live knowing he could have a happy ending without her.
It was for the best though. Robin had drawn the short stick in life being bonded to her by souls. He would only feel pain and sorrow. She would never be able to give him anything else. It was all she had left. Regina tried to breathe again, unable to fill her lungs. Her chest felt on fire, and her heart pounded wildly, wishing to be free from the flames. Was bringing Marian back destiny's way of apologizing to Robin for sticking him with the Evil Queen? Had she always been doomed to lose him?
More tears spilled from her eyes as she shook her head, failing to fight the dark thoughts circling her. Regina looked up, catching the tempting calls of the ocean and the slit of sunlight peeking over the horizon. Yes, she was always meant to lose Robin. She was a villain even when she wasn't. Her heart slammed against her chest, and as anger in herself bubbled out of control, she pulled the useless organ out of her body. She stumbled to her feet, no longer concerned with the wet sand. Her breath caught in her throat several times as she sobbed shakily. Without a second look, she pulled her arm backwards, throwing her bruised and broken heart towards the ocean. She no longer wanted it.
Stopping his steps on the boardwalk, Robin breathed in deeply. He had needed more air than the forest had allowed, and Little John had suggested a walk along the beach. Robin smirked as he noticed a pair of expensive heels neatly awaiting their owners return. His eyes darted to the beach, quickly searching for her as the need to see her overwhelmed him. Instantly, his body relaxed when he saw her petite silhouette against the setting horizon. She had walked quite a ways from the boardwalk, and somehow, adding to the fact her arms were wrapped around her body, it made her appear even smaller and perhaps, slightly vulnerable.
Robin wanted to look away, knowing she wouldn't approve of him watching, but his eyes would not falter from the view. He settled for staying at a distance, and leaned against the railing. He frowned slightly, noticing she was lost in thought. He forced his eyes to glance away as he understood what was troubling her. It was him, and it killed him to admit it. He had broken her heart, proving to her all those fears running wild inside her were correct. She didn't deserve love or happiness, but he knew better.
He startled to his feet when a hand shot to her mouth and he took a step forward when her quiet sob reached his highly alert ears. He settled when she shook her head, gaining back a bit of her composure. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, but now would not be the best time. He had hurt her, and seeing her so vulnerable was the last thing she would want. He sighed, clenching his jaw. He had to find a way back to her; his heart demanded it. Her heart needed it.
Robin's attention was stolen away from his thoughts as her body dropped to the sand. He stood straight, taking swift, determined steps towards her. Her cries unnerved his senses, sending his heart into a mad beating. Regina screamed in agony, and his face paled at the sight of her heart. He shook his head as his lungs desperately requested more and more air and his pace quickened. Before he knew what was happening, the glowing heart was sailing through the air where it eventually fell to the ocean underneath it. In that moment, he felt his own heart crashing into coldness.
Regina smiled in her brief moment of relief, closing her eyes as emotions drifted away from her body. All she could feel was a dull reminder until her heart disappeared into the ocean. Her eyes shot open and a loud scream followed her body to the sand. She grabbed at her chest, choking for breath. Where there had once been burning fire now felt stiff with coldness. Regina closed her eyes once tears blurred her vision, and she continued to scrape her fingers along her chest, wanting to pull away the terrible feeling. Her lungs ached, needing the air that couldn't pass the wet shards of ice piercing her insides in all directions. Regina rolled from her side to her arching back, hoping for some type of relief. Slowly her hand fell from her chest and dropped to the sand, curling into it as her body began to give up and strength left her.
Regina's earth-shattering scream as she dropped to the gravelly ground snapped Robin out of his shock, and his feet pounded unsteadily through the sand as he ran forward. He was yelling, could hear his voice, but none of his words registered. He fell to his knees at her side, grabbing her upper arms with his hands. He yelled her name, begging her eyes to open as she faintly gasped for air. When she didn't acknowledge him, he darted to his feet again, knowing nothing would help until he had her heart. He ran to the water, not stopping until the iciness sliced at his heated body. Forcing his panicked mind to focus, he found a faint red amongst the darkness of the ocean, and he breathed in deeply, diving with open eyes into the depths of the water. He ignored the stinging salt in his eyes as he pushed himself to the bottom. He wrapped his hand protectively around her heart, holding it against his own chest as he rushed back to the surface. Thankfully, her throw had been weak and her heart heavy. It hadn't gone too far from the shallow bank.
Robin wiped his eyes and breathed in several times once his feet could safely carry him back to shore. He glared at the woman still sprawled on the beach, her chest heaving with each relieved breath. "What the Hell, Regina!?" His voice held concern and fear, and as he felt her heart beat against his hand, anger quickly joined his emotions.
Using her elbows as support, Regina sat up slowly, her brow furrowing at his voice. Purposefully, he stomped out of the ocean and towards her. "Robin?" She blinked her eyes and shook her head, trying to rid it of the slight fog. She breathed in deeply one last time before scrambling to her feet. Robin stopped in front of her, staring into her eyes as he pressed her heart closer to his chest. "What are you," She glanced at his hand, her train of thought shifting instantly. "You went after it?" She lifted her eyes to his, furrowing her brow. His anger lowered at her shock, and he quickly nodded his head.
"Of course I did. I will always save your heart whether it is from a wicked witch or an evil queen. This," She glanced at her heart as he lifted his hand, blinking at his protective hold. "Is mine. You gave it to me. I may lose it from time to time but I will never give it up without a fight. If I have to, I'll always steal it." His usual strong smirk faltered. "It…You are too valuable, too important to me." He breathed in, closing his mouth tightly, and Regina licked her lips as she forced back her tears. Robin placed his eyes on hers, and as he reassured himself that she was all right, he lowered his voice. "You can't leave me so easily."
Regina scoffed at his words, shaking her head. "Why not? You left me." She held back on telling him that her heart was not his anymore because she knew, as well as he did, that she would be lying.
Robin flinched, letting his stare drop briefly to the sand between them. Taking a deep breath, he pushed away his regret, needing to focus on her. "And for that, I will always be sorry." He took a step closer to her, slightly shaking his head. "I will never forgive myself for hurting you." She looked away from him, dropping her eyes to the sand between them, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out for her.
Her shoulders tensed and she licked her lips before speaking quietly. "But you did." She looked up, eyes instantly finding his as her usual mask fell over her features. "You chose her." He winced, hating the slight self-loathing lining her tone and the tears welling in her eyes. He knew how raw and abandoned he had left her, but what choice did he have? Marian was, is, his wife; he never truly had a choice.
Robin sighed, shaking his head slightly before tearing his eyes away from hers. "I had to try." His face creased with pain, regret, and guilt, but toward which woman, he wasn't sure. He had made a decision, chose a woman, by what he thought was the honorable way to go. "She deserved…"
"Of course she deserved you!" Regina interrupted him, pursing her lips together as she gathered her composure. "She's good, and I'm," She trailed off, avoiding his eyes as her voice lowered. "Not. I don't get my happy ending." She breathed in, ready to continue, but Robin took this moment to stop her.
"She let me go," He declared softly, his eyes crinkling and the rest of his breath leaving him. She stared in shock at him as a quiet 'what' fought its way past her lips. He nodded his head, keeping his tone light. "Marian said I had followed through with my vows. I was loyal to her until death did us part," He paused, inhaling shakily and glancing toward the woods before returning his eyes to Regina. "At least in my eyes, in my life, it had. She said I no longer owed her anything. She wants me to be happy so… she let me go."
Regina furrowed her brow, her eyes glossing over with tears – matching Robin's. She licked her lips, studying the honesty, sorrow, and regret battling amongst his features. "Just," She started, swallowing before continuing. "Just because she let you go doesn't mean I'm ready to let you back in."
Robin flinched, but nodded his head. "I know. I wasn't," He stopped mid-sentence as Henry – standing on the boardwalk and glancing between them – called out for his mother. Regina turned to acknowledge her son, and the corner of Robin's mouth lifted when she faced him once again.
Regina sighed, letting her arms drop to her sides and ignoring the gust of wind sending strands of hair into her face. She didn't have time to think about this now, and honestly, she wanted to go over everything before making her mind up one way or the other. "I have to go. Henry and I have dinner plans." She took a step back, placing one hand over her stomach as she studied him against the final rays of sunlight.
Robin held her gaze for a moment before dropping his eyes to the glowing heart in his hand. He caressed it with his thumb, fighting back his smirk at her quiet gasp, and lifted the heart a bit higher. He motioned toward it with his head, making sure to keep it out of Henry's line of sight. "If I give this back to you, will you take better care of it?"
They locked stares again, silence weighing the air between them. Regina smirked before pursing her lips to chase it away. "Perhaps, I'll try." She moved closer to him, wrapping her fingers around both his hand and her heart.
Robin waited until she looked at him again before releasing his hold. "Then I will have to earn it back before any damage can be done." He noticed the flinch of pain in the corners of her eyes and lips, and he knew he'd been one to crack it when she had believed so strongly before that he wouldn't. He sighed, bracing her as she pushed her heart back into her chest. He tapped her chest with one finger, gaining her attention again. "I will get this back, and when I do, I'll take better care of it."
Regina smiled, taking a few steps backward. "I hope you do." She dropped her stare to the sand, turning around to finish her walk to Henry. Robin watched as she dusted off her feet, slipped them back into her shoes, and walked away with an arm wrapped around her son's shoulder. She looked over their shoulders, giving him one last look. Robin grinned, feeling a small burden lifted off his soul. He knew, with that look, that their timing would be right this go round. He would earn her heart this time and he wouldn't ever lose it again. It would take time and effort, but neither of those things bothered him. For Regina, he would do whatever it took, including waiting a lifetime.