Notes: This was fun to write. It's super short. If you wanna use this as a skit and make a youtube video out of it, that would be crazy fun! (just make sure to let others know where you got the original material)

Un-beta'd as it is super short. Hopefully it's fun. It's supposed to be a bit silly. ^_^

Also, tried to have a bit cleaner formatting, but apparently I can't use non-breaking spaces. Sorry -_-

SCENE EXT. SHELL OF HALE HOUSE - DAY

DEREK HALE and STILES STILINSKI are sitting at opposite ends of the porch. Derek has his arms crossed and is scowling. Stiles is fiddling with a drawstring from his hoodie.

VOICE OVER
Meet Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinki from MTV's Teen Wolf. Derek and Stiles just had a big fight for the third time about why they are together. This fate could have been avoided, if they had a sassy gay friend.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
What, what, what are you two doing?

Sassy Gay Friend steps up to Stiles.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
You're dealing with a grumpy man who looks like he sucked a little too much on the lemondrop martini. He's crazy and emotionally stunted. Likes to lurk and thinks windows are doors. What are you thinking?

STILES
Um. He's kinda hot. And he's a great... kisser.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
He is a dream. Doesn't mean he doesn't wanna rip your throat out half the time. Wolf man much?

STILES
No? He's mostly gentle. But, you know... walls and all.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
Oh my god you slut! PS that hoodie is cute.

STILES
Really? I like it too.

Sassy Gay Friend nods, then sashays to Derek.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
And you, grumpy. You've got yourself into a bit of a mess, haven't you? Dating a sixteen-year-old. Come on! Don't you know the laws? Want to go to jail? And the ADD. It's like having all the crazies over every day.

DEREK
I know.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
Looks like we've got a big talker here.
(flirts)
How about you and I go somewhere we can... talk. I'm well over the age of consent. No jail, no permanent record...

Derek glares.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
Oh, glares and silence, what great relationship communication tools. PS this whole grumpy thing has gotta go.

Derek glares more.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
Okay, crazy. You and those murder eyes need to go somewhere else.

Sassy Gay Friend stands between the two.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
Look at your life, look at your choices. You
(points to Stiles)
You've got some crazy ass, broody, mega hot, emotional mess here. Seriously. Make him drop that baggage, you're not a porter, sweetie! And he loves you in his dark, mysterious way. Judging by the nasty glares he gave me.
(points to Derek)
And you. Come on, he's not even eighteen. Okay, I get it, fine. He's an adorable mess of nerves and talks too much. You are perfect for each other. Don't let the mega crazy bitch ruin your life.
(pauses)
Now make out already before I jump in there and do it myself. You are stupid bitches.

Derek and Stiles make out. Sassy Gay Friend looks around, snaps a picture.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
I'm a stupid bitch.