The characters' dialogue may not be an exact match to the episode, but I hope everyone likes the story anyway. It's not meant to be truly canon, just a way things could have happened, so take it with a grain of salt.
In case anyone cares: the name of the story comes from a connection I make between Melanie's high-up pony tail (which is super adorable) and Jeannie's hairstyle from the old TV show I dream of Jeannie.
"Ha! In your face, Puckett! I'm too smart for you!" Freddie smirked as he left apartment 8-C, pulling the door shut behind him. "I knew it was you all along."
"Sam, why'd you tell him that?" Carly asked Sam who was now in the kitchen rummaging for something to eat. "I can't believe you let him think he won. He'll be impossible now."
"Meh, maybe messing with him is just too much fun. Or maybe letting him think he won when he didn't is a true prank."
About then, the Shay's private elevator opened to reveal Melanie and her suitcase. "Aww, Freddie's not here." Melanie whined, looking around. "I was hoping to be able to say goodbye to him. Oh, well, I can just call him later. Are you guys going to the airport with me?"
"Oooh, if I'm going anywhere I need to change." Carly squeaked and headed for the steps.
"I hope you realize you're gonna be late now." Sam cracked to her sister and ripped into a brand new bag of chips.
"Mom's coming by to pick me up at two." Mel informed them. "It's twelve thirty, better hurry up, Carls."
Carly turned on the landing and stuck her tongue out at the twins before continuing to run upstairs.
Melanie approached her sister. "So, Sam. I need to ask you something. Last night, Freddie said something strange and I've been thinking about it ever since. I really don't know what he meant."
"Freddie says a lot of weird chiz. He's a nub, you get used to it if you hang out with him enough." Sam smirked and munched on a handful of chips. "Was it about his dumb Pear-pod or Galaxy Wars? Oh, I know, I bet it was something about the nerd-squad, er I mean AV club."
"No, this was different. And I happen to like his tech talk and how he's in AV club. And Galaxy Wars."
'Yeah, me too. Sometimes.' Sam thought to herself, but tried to not show it by simply replying "That figures. I can't believe I'm related to you."
"Well, you know we went to that dance club. Freddie and I were dancing and I, well, I sorta kissed him and he, like, totally freaked out."
Sam tried to swallow the lump in her throat before it was apparent that she was completely jealous. "You what? Eeewww, Mels, that is weird!"
"Oh, can it, Sam." Mel stood in front of Sam with her hands on her hips. "That's not the weird part. Afterwards, he said something like 'You swore we'd never do that again'. What the chiz did he mean by that? I never kissed him before. Heck, I never even met him before Thursday."
"Ahhh, he probably had you confused with some fantasy dream he had about Carly or something." Sam tried to pass it off, but being Sam's twin, Melanie saw right through her facade and grabbed the bag of chips away from her sister. Since Sam wouldn't admit what Mel suspected on her own, she'd have to get aggressive.
"Orrrrr, you kissed him and since he was completely convinced that I was really you . . . "
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What makes you think I'd have kissed that nub?" Sam glared at her sister. "I'm not crazy or that desperate."
"Oh, come on! I watch the show, I see how you guys look and act. You totally have the hots for one another. It's as plain as day. You flirt with him, he flirts with you. I swear the only reason you hit him is so you can touch him."
"Again, eeewww." Sam cracked and attempted to snatch her bag of chips back, but Melanie kept them away so she could keep Sam's attention. "And give me back my chips!"
"I'm guessing it was right after that time you tried to make a fool out of him and told the whole internet that he never kissed anyone. That's about when you guys started acting funny with each other and you stopped going on about never kissing when we talked. The way I figure it, you kissed him out of pity and fell for him."
"That's the dumbest thing you've ever said. And what's the big deal about a first kiss, anyway. What's it matter if I did kiss him. It's not like I slept with him or anything serious." Sam spilled her secret without intending to.
"So, you didkiss him? He has nice lips, doesn't he?" Mel asked innocently, eating a few chips herself, trying to trick her sister by distracting her with food. It was clearly working, too.
"Man, the best, er, what, God, Mels, let it go! And you can't say anything in front of Carly. She doesn't know about it, we both agreed to keep it secret so things don't get all weird."
Melanie gasped. "Seriously! You guys really kissed. I knew it! So are you two like a couple or something, now? I just knew there was something up with the way you guys look at each other."
"Can we keep the fan girling down, Carly's right upstairs and she has ears like a bat. And no, we're not a couple, we hate each others' guts." Sam hissed through clenched teeth. "We just did it to get our first kisses out of the way, it's no big deal. Like I said, it's not like I gave him my virginity or anything."
"Psh, Your first kiss is a big deal, Sammy, it's like your kiss virginity." Mel replied quietly with a smirk of her own. "Besides, if he really hates you so much, why'd he want to go out with me when he thought I was you. It's obvious he likes you. Do you like him back?"
"I guess, maybe, er, I don't know! And I never know what's going on in that goofy head of his. Maybe he wanted to make a fool out me or make me slip up and have something to hold over me, like I said, he's a nub."
"Or, he really, truly deep down inside likes you and just wanted an excuse to go out with you." Mel teased.
"Or, he totally and completely hates me and just wanted to mess with me and get the chance to make me miserable by going out with my twin sister 'cause he knew it would tear me up."
"Or, he's secretly in love with you and just needs a chance to show you." Mel put her arm around Sam, playfully.
Sam quickly reclaimed the bag of chips. "Or, I could just kick your butt." Sam glared, tossed her bag of chips on the counter and went to the fridge for a bottle of soda. "I told you to drop it before Carly comes back."
"This isn't over, Sammy. We'll continue this conversation later." Mel shouted, walking back to the couch.
"No we won't!" Sam shouted back, now completely annoyed and took a gulp of soda.
"C'mon, you guys. You won't be seeing each other for months, can't you just get along a little while longer?" Carly came down the steps and tried to referee the twins' shouting match. "We need to get Melanie to the airport, Sam. Please stop your bickering, both of you."
As the three girls boarded the elevator, they twins glared at each other behind Carly's back.
After Melanie left the girls and her mom to go through security at the airport, she had a few minutes before her plane boarded. She pulled out her phone and called Freddie.
Of course, he didn't recognize her phone number, but answered it cautiously anyway. "Hello?"
"Hiii, Freddieee! It's Melanie!" Mel said with a cheery tone. "I was hoping to see you at Carly's to say goodbye in person, but since we missed each other, I wanted to call you."
"Oh, Hey, Sam. Back on the Melanie kick again, are we?" He said dryly and flopped down on his bed.
"Freddie, it's me, Melanie. Listen, I know my sister makes your life miserable, but she has a good reason. It's because she, um, she kinda . . . " Freddie cut her off.
"Give it up, Sam! You admitted you made up the whole Melanie gag in front of Carly a couple of hours ago."
"You have to believe me, Freddie. Look at your caller id, was it Sam's phone that called you?" Melanie tried to reason with the boy, she had something important to tell him.
"Oh, like Sam Puckett isn't above buying some throw away burner phone at the nine to five mart just to try to mess with me."
Melanie sighed, no wonder this guy and her sister are friends, he's just as stubborn as her. "I just wanted to tell you I had a great time with you last night, but I don't think we should go out again, you know, for Sammy's sake."
"Oh!" Freddie was getting annoyed at this girl playing with his emotions. First she treats him like dirt for years, then she kisses him, after that she continues to makes a fool out of him, repeatedly. Then she wants to go out with him and, wait for it, kisses him again. Now she's saying she had a good time, but she doesn't want to go out ever again. He just rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"You need to know something about my sister. She likes you, Freddie." Mel sounded a little sad, she really liked Freddie, and could see herself dating him, but she would never do something to come between her sister and a boy she likes.
"Well now I don't know whether to laugh or pity you, Sam. You need to check yourself into Troubled Waters or something for a while and get your head straightened out. When you do, let me know."
Melanie sighed, almost ready to give up. "Alright, Freddie. Believe what you want. I guess if I'm really Sam, I can ask you to do me a favor next time you see me?"
"Depends what it is. I told you last week, I'm not doing your algebra homework any more or chemistry or civics."
"Ask me out." The blonde said simply.
"What?" He didn't think he heard her right. "I thought you didn't want to ever go out again?"
Melanie snapped back. "Oh for Pete's sake, you're impossible. Next time you see me, just ask me out and see what happens, you cheese head."
"Yeah, right. You'll probably kick me in the . . . "
"Look, I've got to board my flight soon. Just do it, will ya?"
Freddie grunted a response. "Fine."
"Goodbye, Freddie, I'll miss you."
"Alright, Melanie. Enjoy your flight." Freddie hung up. He thought about calling Sam right then and there, but instead he just sighed and lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
"Freddie! I have your tick bath ready! Hurry up before the water gets too cold." His mother ripped open his door and announced, breaking his thoughts. Could his day get any worse? "And make sure you double-poo."
Melanie's plane landed in New York and as she was waiting for her luggage, she decided to call her twin sister.
"Hey, Mels. Plane land OK?" Sam answered.
"Yep, are you at Carly's?" Mel asked.
"Nah. She had to go do something with Spencer. I wish I was though. Mom got a new bikini on the way home from the airport. She put it on and now she can't get the bottom off, she's been making me help her grease her thighs for the last twenty minutes. I tried to tell her it wasn't big enough. Gheesh, the dang thing's barely big enough for one of us. It's like, did you ever see those videos online when someone tries to put a little poodle collar on a collie or something?"
"I talked to Freddie."
"Good for you." Sam snapped back.
"I think you should be prepared for something. See, I sorta, like, might have told him that you like him."
"You what!? I Swear to God, Melanie Ann Puckett, I will fly to New York, hunt you down and beat some sense into you."
"Sam, stop!" Melanie wasn't afraid of her sister. "Freddie deserves the truth and you both deserve to be happy. If you want to go out with him, just do it."
"Yeah, like he'd ever ask me out. The way I've always treated him, he'd probably rather stab me."
"He agreed to go out with me, right?"
"But you're little miss perfect Melanie, boys throw themselves at you. Basically you're another goody- two-shoes just like Carly, why wouldn't he go out with you?" More than anything, this annoyed Sam, the fact that girls who acted like Carly and her sister always got the guys. "Girly girls like you and Carly never have any trouble finding dates."
"He thought I was you, Sam. And he kept doing things, an - and saying things that he'd say around you. Don't you get it, Sis? He really wanted to be on a date with you."
"Hmph." Sam wasn't convinced, just irritated.
Mel interpreted her response as some type of acceptance. "So if he were to say, ask you out, what would you say?"
"I wouldn't say anything, I'd break his limp wrists." Sam still tried to put up her tough facade, but Mel knew better.
"Sam!"
"Alright, Mels. The truth is, if, and that's a big if, Freddie were to ask me out, I might, just maybe, if I'm in a good mood, and he promised me we'd go to that new all you can eat rib buffet, I might say I'd go on one lousy date with him."
"Eeep!" Mel squealed. "I knew it, you want to go out with him. Oh, you guys are such a cute couple. Seddie all the way."
"What in the name of ham are you going on about? And what's a Seddie?"
"It's a combination of your names, S from Sam and eddie from Freddie. You know, like those Hollywood couples, like Brangelina or something."
"Well, it's stupid. So you'd better not say it again." Sam snipped.
"It's what the fans call you guys. I thought you knew that. Seddie. I can't believe it, Seddie is actually gonna happen. Seddie rules."
"I'm hanging up now, Mels."
"Alright Sammy, I think I see my bag on the belt anyway. I'll call you tomorrow."
Monday morning at school Freddie was busy organizing his books for the first few classes of the day when Sam and Carly walked up to him, talking about some guy that Carly was crushing on. Well, Carly was talking, Sam was trying not to die of boredom.
"Hola, senoritas."
"Hey, Freddie." Carly said with a smile. Melanie had called Carly and informed her of the entire plan, so she was now a willing participant in 'operation Seddie'.
"Hi, Fredweirdo. New striped polo shirt? You look like a gay zebra puked on you."
"So, Freddie. Did you hear, Stanley Everitt is single. He broke up with Diane over the weekend. He's so cute."
Freddie just raised an eyebrow and looked at Sam who shrugged, glad to not be the only one hearing about Carly's obsession of the week.
"I wish he'd ask me out, especially to the new rib joint down by the mall." The brunette dropped a hint right on his lap, at the instruction of Melanie.
"Since when do you eat ribs?" Freddie asked her.
"Oh, um, I don't know. Sam's always saying about how good they are, I just thought I might try them sometime." She replied. "I'll bet Sam would like to go there, wouldn't you, Sam?"
The blonde immediately knew where her friend got the idea. "Hey, Carls. Remind me to call Melanie later, will ya?" She whispered to the brunette. "And cuss her out."
Carly just rolled her eyes.
"I saw the ad for that place. It actually looks pretty good." Freddie said. "Something like twenty different varieties of ribs. It's like a Sam Puckett version of heaven."
"Ooh, I've gotta go, over there's Stephan, I need to ask him if he wants to borrow my biology notes." With that the brunette skipped off in search of a cute boy.
"I thought it was Stanley?" Freddie asked Sam as they watched Carly throw herself at the guy.
"Stanley, Stephan, Sebastian, I can't keep track anymore." Sam smirked. "They all kinda run together after a while, it's like watching a horse race without a program. I just pretend to listen to her going on and nod or grunt once in a while. I hope you realize if I ever start to act like that around guys, I'm gonna kill myself."
"Sam, don't even joke like that."
"Why Fredbag, I didn't know you cared so much for Momma." Sam put her arm around him. "Now, what did you bring for me to eat." She shoved him away quickly, causing him to collide with the lockers.
He opened his locker back up and pulled out an apple and a pack of Fat Cakes. "Take your pick."
Sam grabbed both from him, shoved the apple into her pocket and tore open the cakes. "Fangs, Fedums." She said with a mouth full of food before swallowing. "You're alright, sometimes. For a dork."
"So, um, Sam, yesterday when you called me, you asked me to do something."
She swallowed. "I called you yesterday?" Before taking another bite of Fatcake and thinking 'Oh, God, it must have been Melanie.'
He just nodded. "And now that I fed you, I hope you won't hit me too hard. So here goes. Sam, do you, um, maybe want to go and, uh, I don't know, try that new rib place sometime?"
Sam stopped chewing and just stared at him with a look of confusion which he interpreted as disgust.
"I'm sorry, I knew you were just messing with me. Forget I said anything." He just considered himself lucky he wasn't being beaten and was already plotting his escape.
Sam swallowed again. "Sounds cool, maybe Friday?"
"Look, I know it was just a prank, you don't have to hit me or anything." Freddie wasn't even paying attention to what she said and figured she'd soon have him on the floor with a sore shin, or worse.
"Freddie, I said I'd go, alright." She repeated herself.
"I shouldn't have said anything, it was just stupid, I , I . . . " Suddenly his brain began to catch up when Sam cut him off by grabbing his hand.
"Wait. Did you just call me Freddie, not Frednub or Fredguts or Fredifer of something?"
"Yeah, and I said we can go out Friday night. That is if you don't talk yourself out of it in the meantime." She smirked.
"Seriously, you'll go out with me, like, like a date? Really?"
"Well, I was going to suggest we just go out as friends. But you know what, I think after all those years of Carly pushing you into the friend zone and rejecting you, I guess I could throw you one free pass. But if it doesn't work out, I don't want things getting weird between us. Deal?"
"Like things were ever not weird between us. Look who you're talking to, here." He smirked. "You have any idea how long I've wanted to ask you out, but I was afraid to?" He said shyly.
"Annd, now you go and ruin it by being all nubby." She shoved his shoulder, Freddie frowned at her response. "Just kidding, but try not to say chiz like that in front of anyone, OK? Mama's still got a reputation to protect, especially if I go on a date with a nub."
"But can we at least do this?" Freddie took her hand in his.
"Hmm, maybe once in a while." She replied. "But now's good."
"C'mon, let's get to homeroom before Howard blows a gasket." And with that, the two walked down the school hallway as their classmates gasped at the sight of them. Several students dropped books and other personal items in shock.
A few people began texting feverishly and others snapped quick pictures of the two. Suddenly, teenagers began pulling out their wallets to settle up on bets as to whether and when the two would eventually hook up.
I hope everyone liked it. Like I said, this wasn't meant to be canon, just a fun, fluffy story.