The Doctor was at the console of his TARDIS, frantically pushing buttons and pulling levers, trying to get her back on course. He was falling through space, and for the first time in a while he had absolutely no idea where he was or what was happening. The scanner went wild as they ripped through the fabric of universe after universe. Every one the TARDIS passed through imploded upon itself until they finally landed with a crash. He opened the door cautiously after picking himself up off the ground and looked around to see a city that looked exactly like London. He stepped outside but paused when he noticed a group of teenagers staring at him in disbelief. One stepped forward. She had a TARDIS on her shirt and held a sonic screwdriver in her hand. Where was he? The tension broke as she ran forward and squealed. She sounded like a dying hippo, but she was smiling at him.
He wasn't prepared for the hug that followed. All the air rushed out of him as she wrapped her arms around his chest. While he was being strangled, the rest of the crowd streamed into the TARDIS.
"What—wait! What…What are you doing? Get out of my TARDIS!"
But he couldn't be heard over the excited giggles and shouts of "He's real!" and "It's bigger on the inside!"
When he finally managed to shoo them all out of the console room a large crowd had gathered, and to his surprise, many of them were crying. He just stood staring at them until one man stumbled out of the crowd, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "WHAT?!" They shouted at each other simultaneously. After several minutes of looking at the Doctor, the other man circled around him. "But you're me!"
A child spoke up from the mob behind them. "No he's not. He's the real Doctor and you're the pretend one."
"Real Doctor?" the other man exclaimed incredulously. "There is no real Doctor; he's fictional."
Ohh…this was interesting. Very interesting indeed. He needed to find out more about this universe away from all these people. He backed inside the TARDIS and slammed the door behind him, intending to run several scans on this version of Earth. As he was preparing the first test, a voice spoke from the other side of the console. "Hello, Doctor."
He stood there staring at the woman before him in utter confusion. This wasn't possible. She did not exist. She was fictional. He knew because he loved watching Sherlock, but there she was. The Woman.
"You….but you're—" he spluttered. "Oh. You're her, aren't you? Not the actress, the character. But how did you get here? Oh my, well this is new. Something's gone wrong; people are crossing universes."
"So that's what's going on," said a rough voice behind him. "Dean," he continued, extending a hand. "Dean Winchester. And I have to say, I've seen a lot of strange things, but this? This is the strangest. We think it was the angels."
"Angels? There are angels, and they can tear holes through time and space?"
"They can do a lot of things."
"Great. I'm somewhere I don't want to be. Again. And you're the Doctor. I hate you." A robot sat in the jump seat, frowning.
"Marvin?" asked the Doctor.
"Unfortunately," responded the android despondently.
"What are these angels you're talking about?" An African American woman was standing by the console, a hand on the gun at her hip.
"Why are you all in my TARDIS? Where are you coming from?"
"I walked through the doors," the woman answered with unnecessary sass, rolling her eyes as she spoke. "And the name's Zoe, since you didn't ask."
From outside there came the screams of fangirls and a great pounding on the door of the TARDIS. They were chanting "Exterminate" and on the cameras, the group of people inside the TARDIS could see a Dalek repeatedly smashing into the door.
"Look," Dean began. "I don't know who you are or where we are or why we're here, but I know it was the angels who did this, and only they can help us."
"I'm not sure who these angels are," said Zoe, "but it doesn't seem like they would help us."
"That's why we have to find Cas. We'll start when my brother gets back with my pie. For now, you each need to tell me exactly how you got here."
"And who put you in charge?" a male figure was slumped against the wall. No one had noticed him until he spoke.
"I know the most about this," said Dean with an arrogant smile. "We'll start with you then. How did you get here?"
The man smirked. "A bean."
"Ok. A bean. Next!" the Doctor tried to regain power since it was his ship, but it was pointless. The group ignored him and continued to tell their stories.
"I fell through the Rift," Marvin complained. "Not that anyone cares."
"I was in my ship and we crashed here. I got split up from my crew and found you're box," Zoe explained.
"We got zapped here by the friggen' angels!" Dean growled. "And I think that's what caused all of your experiences. I don't know what went wrong, but somehow they screwed up the universe."
"Why would angels do that?" asked Zoe.
"Oh, they're not the winged cherubs you see in storybooks, Sweetheart. They're more powerful than demons and even bigger dicks."
"Where's Irene?" said the Doctor, a note of worry in his voice. He closed his eyes and listened for her mind, and when he found it, he grew even more apprehensive. Still, he had to go and get her. It was better to face whatever she had in store for him than leave her there on her own.
As he approached his bedroom, the door opened by itself. "So you're in on this too, are you?" The TARDIS hummed in agreement. She liked the Woman. "Very well. Irene?" No reply. "Irene, are you in here?" he stepped into the room to see the woman in question sitting on his bed. Naked. The door slammed shut behind him and the lock he didn't know it had clicked home.
"Hello, Doctor. Are you ready to beg?"
He grabbed the knob and shook the door violently, but the TARDIS was being stubborn. Back in the console room, Sam had finally arrived, but he'd gotten cake instead of pie and an argument had arisen. Marvin stopped the impending fight by grabbing Zoe's gun and shooting the cake. He hated cake due to the fact that he was an android and didn't need food for nourishment. A general complaining arose from this, but no one really cared. They didn't like cake either; they were all craving jelly babies.
"Where the hell is the Doctor?" Dean muttered. "Damn it. Sam, watch these idiots while I go get the Doctor."
He swung open the door the Doctor had gone through to see a very unclothed Irene pressing a rather flustered Doctor up against the wall. Irene turned, a seductive smile on her face, and sauntered past him to find her clothes. He grinned after her, then headed back to the console room, followed by the Doctor.
On the way to the console room, they stopped by the kitchen to pick up some jelly babies and pie. They would have gotten some tea and bacon too, but they were interrupted by a loud crash. After sprinting to the console room they found the door in pieces on the floor. "What happened here!" the Doctor shouted, enraged by the damage to his precious ship. And then he saw the mob converging upon the entryway. He thought about how they shouldn't have gotten through his indestructible doors, but then the crowd rushed toward them, knocking the Doctor onto the ground, and he thought no more.