"Blame Me"
The silence in the moonlit bedroom is deafening as Victoria lays on the king sized bed, emotionally drained. She wipes the tears from her mascara washed face and sighs. With her thoughts racing a mile a minute she tries to put into perspective the events that just took place, however, only finds more confusion.
"Why does this always happen between us?" Her words float throughout the bedroom. "You said we would leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Yet you continue to bring it up? Are you purposely trying to hurt me?"
---I'm always gonna be one life behind
That's why I'm all alone
What's it gonna take to make you see
That we are falling apart
I wonder can we throw away the past
So we can stop the screaming match---
"No, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to make sense of all this." The deep male voice says from the shadows of the doorway.
Startled, Victoria quickly sits up from bed and directs her gaze toward the shadowy figure, "I thought you left, Randy?"
"I was going to but I think we need to talk, Vickie." He makes his way to the bed and takes a seat next to her. "We need to pick up the broken pieces and try to salvage this relationship."
Victoria stands up and walks to the bedroom window. She stares at the big beautiful moon while scoffing at Randy's declaration.
"And what, Randy? Leave all our problems in the past and move forward? Please spare me this speech again. I think it's time we face facts, it's over."
"That confirms it! You are fucking Batista again! I knew it! I mean why else would you find it so easy to end our three year relationship?"
"There you go brining up the past like you always do when we have a fight. Randy, get this through your head, me and Dave are not sleeping together. What happened five months ago was a mistake. A mistake that you can't seem to let me forget and I've honestly had enough of it. "
"Can you blame me for not trusting you when I see you with Dave?"
"Look, today at the arena we were talking about my match, it was innocent. Randy, you can't get suspicious every time Dave and me are seen together. We're coworkers for goodness sake."
"I just wish for once you could see things my way, Victoria! You always play the fucking victim when it was you who messed up this relationship!"
Victoria coldly stares at the shadowy figure of Randy. Her heart feels like a thousand knives are cutting into it but she refuses to show her hurt, no not this time.
---I'm not gonna break down anymore
I've found my way to the door---
"I can't do this anymore! I cannot continue to be labeled as this horrible, untrustworthy, villain! I've apologized profusely; I've catered to your every whim, damn Randy, nothing I do is good enough so I'm done trying!" Victoria quickly runs to the bedroom door before her tears get the better of her. She refuses to let him see her cry anymore.
Shocked by her behavior, Randy instinctively jumps from bed to go after her.
"Where the hell are you going?" He asks when he notices her opening the hallway closet door.
"Don't worry about it! I just need to get away from you!" She yells while grabbing her coat and purse out of the hall closet. She angrily walks to the front door reaching for the knob. Randy sees this and quickly catches up to her, closing the front door before she can open it any further, "hold up, Victoria."
"Look, if you don't let me go now I will just leave as soon as you're done spewing whatever other hurtful words you have to say."
Without saying a word, he gently grabs her hand and leads her to the sofa in the living room.
"Please sit down." He motions to the sofa. Reluctantly, she takes a seat placing her purse and coat next to her. Randy kneels between Victoria's knees and releases a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was hurting you so much. I don't want you to leave me. Baby, I love you." He takes her hand and places a soft kiss on top of it.
She callously snatches her hand away from his grip, "but can you trust me, Randy? Are you going to continue to freak out every time you see Dave and me together? Or see me with any other man for that matter?"
"I realize I am not the easiest man to get a long with. And I realize that may have had something to do with pushing you into the arms of Dave. But it did hurt me nonetheless and Vickie this is going to take more than a few months for me to get over."
---I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
It's killing me
It's killing me to watch you leave me---
"Randy, you know I am a firm believer in living for the moment and not in the past, especially when it comes to us. But I think you need a little history refresher."
She leans in closer to him and their eyes intensely focus on one another, "do you remember how it was when we started dating? You had all these little groupies hanging around your hotel room waiting for you to come by. And do you remember what you told me? You told me to 'play along' and 'act like we weren't a couple' all because you didn't want to ruin their fantasies of actually having a shot with you. If that wasn't bad enough, how about a year into our relationship when all those rumors began to float around work that you and Trish Stratus were spending a lot of time backstage together. I believed you when you said that people were just trying to cause trouble and that nothing was going on. Do you want to know why I believed you? I believed you because I loved you and wanted our relationship to work. But then it became increasingly harder and harder to hold on. When we were at work, I could never find you. People would say 'oh, he's preparing for a match' or 'oh, him and a few of the boys went for drinks since they finished early.' To make matters worse when we were off work you were hardly ever home. Those few times you were, all you wanted to do was sleep or watch sports. You just never seemed to have time for me. Randy, can you even remember the last time we made love? And I'm not talking about a quickie before you go off and leave the house. I am talking about us being passionate with one another, you holding me and caressing me after a long night of lovemaking. Can you tell me the last time we did that?"
Randy rose off his knees and took a seat across form Victoria on the recliner, "it's been a while." He somberly answered while nervously biting on his bottom lip.
"I know I wasn't right when I went to Dave for comfort but he was all I had. Lord knows you were never there for me."
Randy rolled his eyes as he popped out of the recliner, "fuck it! This is all my fault isn't it, Vickie? I'm the horrible person here! You are just the poor, innocent victim! Is that what you want to hear?"
---I've tried to talk about what's really wrong
I see that look of discontent
The volume starts to rise and then it's on
That's why I have to go
Dealing with the pain is all that's left
Because we cannot get along
You wanna put the blame on me again
I think that we have reached the end---
"Randy, do you now see why I want to go? We just can't get along. I really don't even know what you're holding on to anymore. All we do is fight and I can't take it." She gathered her he belongings as she made her way off the sofa.
"You know Randy, there is always going to be a special place for you in my heart. I mean everything wasn't always bad. There were good times too." She gave him a warm smile.
The realization that she was leaving finally hit Randy and panic became evident in his voice, "you can't just leave and forget about everything we've been through together."
"Randy, without trust this relationship has no foundation to stand on. I am finally able to see that. You will too, in time."
"But it's the middle of the night. Where are you going to go?"
"I have friends not too far from here. I'm sure I can stay with them." Victoria made her way back to the front door. She turned the knob and without looking back walked out the door.
---I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
It's killing me
It's killing me to watch you leave
I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
You keep blaming me
Blaming me for what you do to me
It's your turn to watch me leave you---
Two hours later, after finally reaching her destination, Victoria sits in the black Honda Accord physically and emotionally drained. She places her car in park and takes the keys out of the ignition. As she opens the door, she notices the sun peeking out from the horizon. She makes her way up the walkway and to the front door of the terracotta house. She hesitantly knocks at the door. She waits for what seems like an eternity. Finally, the door opens and Victoria breaks down.
"We're o—over. Randy and I have finally ended our relationship."
The tattooed, muscular man steppes outside and takes her in his arms.
"It'll be okay, honey." He whispers in her ear.
"You promise, Dave?"
"As long as I'm here with you it's a promise I know I can keep." He answers back as he gently guides her into the house.
Blame Me by Adema