Author's note: Long time no see, I'm sorry lol. It's been a long, busy year and I haven't written anything in a long time, but I didn't want to give up on this one because I still really love the concept. So I completely revamped the outline, and fleshed it out a lot. Hopefully you guys aren't disappointed with my changes so first chapter is all Kat, but don't worry, the boys will be playing a big part soon enough. Please review! It's what keeps me going.
Kat was aware of being too warm, that the window was open and even this early in the morning it was reaching the mid eighties. Her room had become heavy and muggy with humid air. She was aware that her comforter was covering her, and was partially to blame for her overheating. She was aware that her body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Droplets of it trickled from her forehead down her temples and into her hair, tickling her skin. She knew all these things, could sense them through the foggy consciousness just before being fully awake, and was unable to do anything about it.
Most of the night had been like this-uncomfortable, with sudden and fleeting bouts of intense pain and vivid nightmares. She hadn't been able to wake up from it fully, though sometimes she'd been conscious enough to want to wake up. The physical discomfort spread from the middle of her spine in lightning bolts up to her shoulders and neck and down her hips and legs. But the nightmares were worse. She was fleeing something, running and breathing hard but never able to get enough oxygen. She couldn't see where she was going, stumbling blindly through a featureless shadow land.
Only when Kat's sister Beth burst into her room, shouting about breakfast being ready, was she able to snap out of her paralysis. She started at the suddenness of having control of her body back, and just like that, the horrible dreams were fading away from memory. As she threw the covers from her and swung her legs over the edge of her bed to stand and stretch, the awful sensations were just a vague recollection from some far away time.
"You look like shit," her thirteen year old sister told her, still standing in the doorway. "You sick or something?"
Kat took a second to assess how she was feeling, wiping sweat from her face with the bottom of her tank top.
"I don't think so…" she croaked, clearing her throat. "I feel fine now, at least." Beth turned to leave and Kat yelled after her, "Stop cussing!" In response, the tween stuck her tongue out and slammed the door behind her.
Kat stretched her arms above her head and groaned, trying to work the stiffness out of her limbs. Her eyes searched her desk out of habit and found the acceptance letter for Arizona State University and she smiled excitedly, remembering that she was supposed to go shopping with her parents today. They'd gotten nearly everything for her dorm. Various supplies lay piled neatly in the corner of her room, waiting patiently for moving day. There were just some odds and ends that she still needed, and suddenly she couldn't wait to get going.
A shower was definitely in order first, she decided as she ran a hand through her damp hair. She sang softly to herself as she washed up, a happy little tune that lifted her spirits even higher. Despite what seemed to be a long night, she had a feeling it was going to be a fantastic day.
After showering and getting dressed, she braided her hair and applied just a little makeup. She smiled at herself in the bathroom mirror, pleased with the outcome. She was no beauty queen, she knew that much, but she did consider herself fairly attractive, and with very little effort. Her long, dark hair didn't take much fuss, and her clear skin and mostly symmetrical features meant that she didn't need a lot of makeup. Just some light eyeliner and mascara to bring out her chocolate brown eyes, and she was done.
Heading down the steps to the living room, she could hear her sister chatting away with her mom and dad, going on about her dance recital that was coming up. Beth had been practicing for months, and she had every turn and leap memorized, but was prone to self doubt. She had become relentless about getting it right.
Kat cut her sister off mid sentence, jokingly saying, "But, like, what if you trip?"
"Not funny." Beth glowered at her older sister. "Now I'm probably jinxed! I need to go cleanse myself of your jinx before practice," she said as she hurried up to her bedroom for her charms and incense that she insisted promoted good luck. She had become very superstitious lately. Kat figured it was bound to happen, with her dramatic tendencies.
"Make it quick!" their mother called from the sink where she was rinsing dishes. "We leave in fifteen minutes!"
Kat grabbed a pancake from the stack on the kitchen table and bit into it as she hopped up on the counter, her legs swinging. Her dad sat at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and sipping from his mug of coffee. He's such a cliché, she mused to herself.
"You ready to buy me more stuff?" she said around a mouthful of dry pancake.
Her dad looked up from his paper, one eyebrow raised. "You'd better watch it. Your mother and I know just how to embarrass our daughters in public, and we won't hesitate to use our powers for evil." He had a mischievous glint in his eye. Kat laughed and took another bite of her pancake.
"Do you have your list of what you still need?" her mom asked, drying her hands off with a dish towel.
"Yup." She jumped off the counter and patted her back pocket, which had a folded up piece of paper sticking out.
Beth came back into the kitchen then, holding her pink gym bag with her dance things, loudly declaring that she was ready to leave. Their parents set about grabbing keys and wallets and purses, and headed out to the family car.
First stop was dropping Beth off at the dance studio. She had been taking dance classes pretty much since she could stand. Their mom tried getting Kat into it first, but even as a toddler she had hated it. She just didn't have the drive for it. As soon as she was old enough though she'd joined soccer and softball and had loved them both, thriving in the competitive natures of the games. Beth took to dance like a duck to water, much their mom's delight. She had been a dancer when she was younger, even winning some competitions in college. Then she met their dad, and while her love for dance didn't change, her priorities certainly did. Now she was living vicariously through her daughter, which was just fine with Beth. Kat never minded it either, as long as she had sports.
Kat's true passion, though, was singing. She'd never gone a day in her life without singing, always with some song stuck in her head. Her mom always joked that if she didn't have such a nice voice, it'd be annoying. Singing was what got Kat through life, the good times and the bad. It kept her sane through school, gave her an outlet when she was happy or excited and a way to put her soul into words when she had none of her own.
In college, she'd be studying music. She didn't really see the point in school, wanting to skip it and head straight to L.A. to start her career as a star. Her parents had talked her into getting an education first, pointing out that just in case L.A. doesn't work out, she'd have a degree to fall back on. Kat had conceded. Some small part of her knew she'd regret not getting the college experience, though she'd never admit that to them. She was counting down the day now to when she could finally leave the Midwest and begin her adulthood.
They dropped Beth off in front of the studio, her hopping out and waving back at her sister and parents as she ran for the doors. Then, pulling back onto the main street, the three headed to the mall.
"Tunes?" her dad asked from the driver's seat, right hand hovering over the radio. Kat and her mom both opted for top 40, outvoting him. As they headed to the mall, the girls sang along with sugary pop songs, Dad silent but smiling.
They were at a stop light waiting for it to turn green when one of Kat's favorite songs came on, the heavy, serious tune washing over her. She waited for the first verse to start, knowing the words by heart after playing it on repeat several days in a row when it first came out. It was a somber song about heartbreak with a crashing, emotional chorus. It gave her goose bumps from the raw power of it whenever she heard it. Kat sang with her eyes closed as the car rolled forward again. She was really belting it out, letting it pour from her with the same intensity as the singer on the radio.
She had just gotten the last line of the first chorus out, and opened her eyes just in time to see her dad jerk the steering wheel sharply to the left. The car crashed into the road barrier and they were all thrown forward, seatbelts tightening like a vice to keep them from going through the windshield. They rolled, side over side, down a steep hill, glass breaking and metal crunching deafeningly as they went, until finally the car stopped at the bottom of the ditch. In the wake of shock, there was silence.
Everything hurt. It was difficult to stay conscious. Her vision blurred and spun. Nothing made sense. They had been driving on a busy road, and luckily it didn't take long for people to make it to the car. She had been in the back seat and needed to be pulled out through the window that wasn't on the ground.
She was sure there were loud sirens, people calling out to her, peering in through smashed windows to see who needed help. She must have been screaming, or crying, calling out to her parents, but she didn't remember any of that. All her memories before waking up in the hospital were completely devoid of sound or coherence.
For the first few days after the crash she was kept in a drug induced haze while she recovered from a few broken ribs and a fractured right arm and dislocated shoulder. She remembered doctors, friends of her parents, and her sister being there, but never heard a word. Then when the pain killers wore off, and she was able to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time, they told her about her parents. Neither of them had made it.
Kat didn't speak for a week. She sat silently through the funeral, barely reacting at all through every "I'm sorry for your loss." All she could do was just absorb it. Nothing seemed real anymore, like she was stuck in some sick dream and no matter what, she couldn't shake it off. The only thing that did feel real was the pain from her injuries. She refused to take medication so that she had at least one tether to the reality of the situation.
Beth was always crying. She couldn't seem how to wrap her head around never seeing her mom and dad again. As much as Kat tried suppressing all emotion, her sister couldn't help letting every tear and question out. It killed Kat to see her like that, and she knew she needed to be strong for her sister.
Her parents had been cautious enough to make a will, leaving Kat and her sister the house and whatever savings they had, along with naming her the beneficiary to their life insurance policies. The money from these covered the remaining mortgage on the house, with plenty left over to keep them fed for a long while. A close family friend offered to have them come live with her, and Kat was tempted to usher all responsibility off to someone else. In the end, though, she and Beth wanted to stay home. She was eighteen and didn't need a guardian, and knew she could take care of Beth just fine. Not wanting to be a burden to anyone was what they said to the people offering them a way out, but really neither of them could stomach the idea of leaving the only thing they had left of their parents.
Kat had almost forgotten about ASU when she got a letter in the days leading up to class starting about signing up for courses. She sat on her bed that night after calling admissions to let them know she wouldn't be there when the semester started. The nice woman on the other line asked if she was just deferring a semester. Kat chuckled humorlessly, told her no, and hung up.
She was staring at her stockpile of dorm supplies, and for the first time since the accident she let herself wallow in the unfairness of it all. Everything had been taken from her in a single instant. An entire bright future-not just hers, but her sister's also- was just gone, completely out of the realm of possibility.
Suddenly, she was just so mad. By this point she had had time to heal, but still had a long road to full recovery ahead of her, and she wasn't moving around as well as she was used to. She ignored the sharp sting from her broken bones as picked up item after item in the pile of her no-longer-future and threw it against the wall as hard as she could, until the pain crushed her. Her sister found her crumpled on the floor amid the mess she'd made, letting go of everything she'd bottled up over the last several weeks. For once, Beth didn't say anything. They simply held each other and mourned the loss of everything they knew.