This is a piss take. Cos I'm bored. One day I will write a proper parody. But right now. This will do.
The old Mr Malfoy stormed about the room. Tutting to himself occasionally and pretending to be in deep thought. But he knew already. There was no way round this. Naturally Voldemort had died easily. Harry, being a hard working studious extremely fit lad, had beaten the mere most powerful Wizard in the world (Since the death of Dumbledore) was obviously going to have no trouble stopping the ol' timers cogs.
And so now, naturally, the minestry had decided to pass a decree. 'All Purebloods shall marry and create an heir within a year of this law, to ensure the happenings will not... er... happen again.'
Or something along those lines. To be honest nobody knows why they decided to do that.
And now, much to a certain young 'Sex God's upset, arranged marriages were in order.
Lucius Malfoy. Father of Draco Malfoy. Had decided of the perfect bride for his son.
None other than the Perfect, Bushyhaired, Buck toothed, Bookworm, Gryffindor. Hermione Granger.
Lovely, yes. He thought so to. What a perfect Mother to the future generations of the prestigious Malfoy line.
And so, right at that very moment, Lucuis Malfoy was prancing across his front hall. Preparing for the arrival of his son's bride.
"Ding dong." The bell went loudly. He swept over to the door and opened it.
In walked a Goddess.
Wowiee, I am soo jealous of my son. He thought, as the raving sex addict that he is.
"Draco, my son." He called through the house. As the Malfoy's don't have any house elves to fecth anything for them. In fact the Malfoy's love all things elf like and furry.
"I'm coming father." Fucking retarted scum. I mean you could at least let me choose some random muggle who is ho-... Wow. Who's that?
He stared at the gorgeous woman standing before him. Her long blonde hair sweeping softly in the wind, as it curled slofly at the end. Her body, he could tell through her unconservative attire, was perfectly skulpted to form a thin waist, large bust, and gloriously long legs. She looked over at him, pouting slightly through her electric pink lip gloss.
Draco started to drool.
"Play nicely Draco." Lucius said Airily before leaving the lovebirds alone.
"Now listen here Malfoy. I don't like you and I don't want you to touch m-" She was silenced by his lips on hers. She moaned, and started to respond. Draco led her upstairs to his bedroom. And promptly stripped her down to nothingness.
"Oh god. Mione you're so hot!" He growled, panting at the firmness she gave him.
"Shut up, ferret." And she pulled him down to her again."Ow wow, you're so big." As Hermione would know these things.
"And you're so tight." He said as he did many things not intended for a typical rating of M on fanfiction. Involving his fingers, and tongue... and the place inbetween her legs...
Within minutes Draco was pounding into her, sweating panting, groaning... and all that jazz.
She saw fireworks as he took her virginity.
"Oh God, Draco."
"Uh huh, I know."
She f--ked him again, four times that night.
And a fair few times the next morning. Later that day they were married.
All her friends came and cheered her on. Ginny was unavailable. Currently humping a certain Italian, best friend of Malfoy, Zabini.
Nine months later a young Malfoy popped out of a certain character.
"Oh God Draco. I love you."
"Love you too 'Mione."
Hermione loved it when he didn't call her her whole name. Hence the total waste of time continueously attempting to teach Krum her name.
These are not my beliefs. I disagree completely.
1- Malfoy willing to marry her. Law or not.
2-Hermione suddenly becoming a Goddess... and a bit slutty.
3- Draco a Sex God.
4- Her not completely fighting him off.
5-Her responding so easily.
6- Them doing it so often arfter her first time.
7- The whole 'fireworks' idea.
8- Becoming pregnant so quickly.
9- Ginny 'humping' Blaise Zabini.
10-Blaise being Malfoy's best friend.
11-Blaise being Italian.
12- Mione? Who's this?
This could go on and on and on.
Feel free to hate me. (One day I will write a real one of these... But with twists galore... And properly written.. and less cliche. Like my current stories. )
I have nothing against these fics. After all... this is Fanfiction. Anything can be written. As can this.
I agree that there are good ones of these. However, very few as crap ones have started to plague the site.