Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: All the love to Pablo Neruda for his amazing poetry and giving this fic a title. Thank you to my very patient beta TAVIA_D for all the help. All the remaining mistakes are mine. AU/EWE. Original Characters. Possible OOC. Slight hurt/comfort.
As if you were on fire from within
Neville packed his bags, throwing the last of his robes in his luggage and cast a shrinking charm. He wasn't in the mood to attend a wedding but he'd promised he'd be there. Even though she didn't care Harry had moved on and was marrying Draco, she still needed some moral support. He understood completely, of course, he'd just been dumped two days before and if his ex was getting married, then he'd want the moral support too. Except, Ginny hadn't been in love with Harry, not for a very long time. Neville was still madly in love with Njord.
He cursed himself again for thinking of Njord, the more he thought about him, the sadder he'd get. This was not going to help. He tried to remember what his grandmother had said, "Don't think about him, and you won't even remember his name after a while."
In any event, Neville was pretty impressed his grandmother hadn't even batted an eyelash when he had told her he was gay. She'd given him a big hug then yelled at him for thinking she would treat him differently now. She'd always criticise him for being silly, gay or not.
He chuckled to himself thinking of his grandmother and smiled. At least, thinking about her was lightening his mood.
When it was finally time to grab the Portkey and travel to the Burrow, Neville readied himself. Was he up for a weekend of love, happiness, and a promise of forever? Probably not. But, it wasn't about him. It was about Ginny. And Harry and Draco.
He should have considered himself lucky for having great friends. Finding love hadn't been his priority, anyway. He'd sort of fallen in a relationship with Njord while he was travelling in Sweden and now he was no longer in a relationship. It wasn't a big deal.
0-0-0
The Burrow was full of people by the time Neville arrived. There were guests coming for the wedding from all over the place. Some people Harry and Draco had invited personally. Others, he'd heard, wanted to attend the wedding of the Great Harry Potter and had requested an invitation.
Harry, being the kind soul that he was, didn't have the heart to turn people down. He couldn't believe, after all these years, everyone still wanted to be around him. Neville saw Draco standing next to Harry while they were greeting all the guests and from the way he was acting, Neville could tell that Draco was keeping a smile on his face just for Harry's sake. He probably didn't want to upset Harry and secretly liked the attention, anyway.
Neville had been privileged enough to be invited to not only all the festivities, but also to the private ceremony. All the guests were allowed to attend the pre-wedding party, and the post-wedding celebration, but Harry and Draco made a strict rule—the actual wedding ceremony was going to be a small affair with close friends and family only. The Weasleys, Neville, Luna were there from Harry's side, and Mrs Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini were going to be present from Draco's side.
The pre-wedding celebration was overwhelming, to say the least. As soon as Neville arrived, he was showered with unwanted attention from Ginny, Hermione and Mrs Weasley. Ginny and Hermione were aware of his recent break up and when Mrs Weasley had found out, she'd started to force-feed him. As if eating all the sweets was going to make the emptiness go away.
Thankfully, Ron had soon stepped in and took him away from all the attention.
"How are you doing by the way?" Ron asked, once they were out in the garden where less people were gathered. Most people were inside the house getting drunk or dancing—if they were already drunk.
Neville shrugged. "Still new so you know..."
"You've had break ups before," Ron said, his tone casual.
"Yeah. But this one...well, I'd thought he was the one."
Ron nodded as if he were sympathising. He didn't have much experience in losing "the one". Ever since Hermione had been by his side, he'd never let go of her.
"But, I'm not here to talk about my feelings. We're here to celebrate, right? And gag over how cute Harry and Draco are..." Neville laughed when Ron rolled his eyes.
"They don't stop, do they?" he asked, sounding exhausted. "I mean, good for him, though."
"Harry?" Neville asked.
Ron shook his head. "Malfoy. He's lucky to have Harry."
"And Harry would say he's lucky to have Draco," Neville said.
"Yeah. I don't see why, right?
"Be nice, Ron," Neville said, although he couldn't stop laughing. It'd taken everyone some time to come to grips with the fact that Harry and Draco were together, and that they were going to get married. Except for Ron, who looked like he was never going to get over it.
"I know. I know. I hear that from Hermione all the time."
"They're happy, you're happy..."
"You'll find your happiness too, Neville. Not everyone gets lucky the first time, I mean look at Charlie!"
"What about Charlie?" Neville asked, unable to help himself, unable to hide that blush creeping up on the back of his neck and his face getting heated. He'd always had a bit of a crush on Charlie but had always considered Charlie to be completely out of his league. Charlie was tall, taller than any other man Neville new, save for Professor Snape but he tried not to think about that. He was dashing, and every time he'd enter a room, Neville would have to force himself to look away.
That was the case when they were younger, though. But now it'd been years and Neville had grown into something of a decent looking bloke, too. If he went to a gay club, he often got lucky and pulled the hottest guy on the dance floor. Njord was pretty hot, too.
"Mum keeps telling Charlie he needs to get married and he goes on these dates but just never finds anyone right for him. He said he's done looking for Mr Right," Ron said, yanking Neville out of his thoughts just in time so he wouldn't dwell on Njord again.
"Mr Right?" Neville had no idea Charlie was gay. Of course, he'd always find an excuse to leave the room when Charlie was there, so he never ever actually got to know the man.
"Yeah," Ron said without noticing Neville's surprise. "And he's nearly eight years older than you."
"At least I don't have to worry about that. Gran didn't like Njord at all. I think when I told her we'd broken up, she was happy for me. She only said one thing: It's not a race."
"Exactly!" Ron shouted, giving Neville a start. "Sorry."
"I know it all, Ron. I do. I just need time. And being at a wedding..."
"I know, it's not the best time," Ron said. "Anyway, you'll have an excuse to drink all the free Firewhisky you want and no one is going to judge you."
"That is true," Neville said thoughtfully and then the two of them started laughing.
0-0-0
The ceremony, thankfully, was short and sweet. It was over before Neville even dwelt on the tenderness of the moment and he was glad for it. He was ready for the party after and then getting the heck out of there.
He didn't get to spend a lot of time with Harry during this trip, and he'd expected so. It was the man's wedding, after all and as soon as Neville arrived at the reception, he'd hit the bar. Hard.
"Hey, Neville. How are you?"
Neville looked up from his drink and found himself looking into the eyes of Charlie Weasley, himself.
"Hi," Neville said, feeling a bit loopy. Maybe he'd had too much already.
"Do you want to dance?" Charlie asked.
"What?" Neville asked, not sure if he'd heard the right words coming from Charlie's beautiful mouth.
"Dance. Do you want to?" Charlie said, running a hand through his hair. "I noticed you haven't danced at all tonight, even when Ginny asked you to earlier. So I thought—"
"What? You want to dance with me?"
"Yeah. Why not? It's a party, right?"
Neville nodded and put his drink down on the closest surface he could find. He gave his hand to Charlie who led him to the dance floor as a soft ballad came on.
"It's a nice song," Charlie said.
"It's all right," Neville said, bitterly.
"Ron told me you just recently broke up with your boyfriend," Charlie said, as he swung them around the room and Neville felt a bit woozy.
"Yeah. It's an amazing story," he said, sarcastic.
"It's tough. Plus, you're at a bloody wedding. I can't imagine how torturous that is for you," Charlie said, thoughtfully. He'd slowed down a little bit and Neville was glad. He didn't actually want to end up vomiting on the man he used to have a crush on.
"It has its moments," Neville said, looking over Charlie's shoulder and finding all of his friends staring at them. "Oh no."
"What?" Charlie asked.
"Did they put you up to this?"
"Did who put me up to what?" Charlie asked, looking confused. He turned his head around and looked at everyone too. They all quickly looked away but it'd been so obvious Neville was sure that Charlie knew they'd been gaping at them.
"No, actually. But that is weird," Charlie said, slightly laughing. "I just asked you to dance because, well..." He took in a deep breath and then released it slowly. "The only other gay people at this party are the grooms. Or at least, the ones that are out. I got tired of dancing with my sister, and I wasn't going to dance with my mum at a wedding 'cause she'd only go off about me getting married... So I asked you, because I wanted to dance with a bloke. No one set me up to do it."
"Oh. Okay," Neville said, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed. Charlie had picked him because there was no one else left to pick. "Last resort," he blurted it out without realising he'd just done it.
"Hardly." Charlie snorted. "If I didn't know who you were, or that you were best friends with my little brother and sister, I would definitely have asked you to dance."
"That's nice of you to say," Neville said.
Charlie laughed then; he threw his head back and bellowed. When Neville looked at him in confusion, he decided to explain himself. "Neville, I'm not nice." He pulled Neville close and his warm breath on Neville's skin sent shivers down his spine. "If I would have seen you at a club, I would do everything in my power to take you home. Even fuck you in an alley if that were your thing..."
"Oh. My..."
Charlie pulled back and looked at Neville; one eyebrow raised.
"It's not my thing," Neville said. He wanted to add, it can be, if that's your thing, but didn't.
Charlie shrugged as if it were no big deal. "So, no. They didn't put me up to anything."
"Very well, then," Neville said and as the song ended, pulled away from Charlie. "If it's all the same to you, then, I shall take my leave."
"Leave?" Charlie asked, sounding and looking confused. "Neville, I didn't mean to offen—"
"You didn't. I'm just tired and I've been at the reception for a few hours now. The grooms are going to be off to their honeymoon soon, and not going to care I've already left. I need to rest as I have a long day ahead tomorrow."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Thanks for the dance. It was...informative."
Neville nodded at Charlie, looked at his friends and nodded again before he made his way out of the tent and towards the guest room he was staying in. He was sharing the room with Dean, who was busy chatting up with Ginny, so he knew at least for a little while, he'd have some privacy.
It was fun and games for Charlie, of course, to tease him like that. But, he'd always had a crush on Charlie, and it was not just fun and games for him. He hated he was so heart broken. He hated he was just so sad over Njord that a little bit of flirting with Charlie had put him in a foul mood. He wished he could have just enjoyed the flirting and moved on.
He took a quick shower and crashed on the bed. He contemplated taking a dreamless sleep potion but decided against it. He wasn't going to need it. He was exhausted and sleep would take him quickly.
0-0-0
Soon after Neville returned home, he decided it was the time to start concentrating on his work. He was still behind with the publishing of his second book.
As he opened the door to his office and settled in, he heard his Gran come into the house. She didn't attend the wedding because it was at the same time of the month she and Neville usually went to see Neville's parents at St Mungo's. She'd told him to go ahead as she'd go see Alice and Frank on her own. He figured she must have been returning from the market and her weekly shopping.
"Neville?" she asked and her voice echoed through the house.
"In here, Gran," he said, without looking up from his parchment.
"There you are," she said, entering the room and placing the bags of food on the floor by the entrance. "How was the wedding?" She sounded genuinely curious, so Neville turned to look at her.
"It was good. Fun." He shrugged, not knowing what to say exactly.
"And the happy couple?"
"Are happy, I suppose," he said and smiled at her. "Ron and Hermione send their love, by the way, and Ginny too. She might come to visit next week before she has to leave for practice with her team."
Gran nodded thoughtfully, taking it all in, and giving Neville a once over. He had no idea what she was going to say to him, but he was sure it wasn't going to be anything good.
"Meet anyone there?"
Neville simply shook his head and tried to look confused. He knew what she was getting at, but he was going to play dumb. "Lots of people. It was a wedding." He furrowed his brows just for an added effect.
She sighed and picked up the bags of food. "You're not going to find a nice boy if you just wait for them to come to you."
"I'm not interested in nice boys," Neville mumbled to himself.
"That much is true given your last suitor."
"Last—" He chuckled slightly and returned to his work. "I don't know why you never liked him."
"You were too good for him," she said, leaving the room.
Gran always had this way of insulting and complimenting Neville at the same time. She hated that he was single, but never liked any of his boyfriends. He wondered if she simply wanted to set him up and was afraid to ask.
He opened up his latest notes on plant cells and tissues and worked on the chapter that highlighted the new group of multi-potent plant extracts. He'd been investigating Muggle methods of the same process that used plant cell extraction for medicinal purposes and wanted to incorporate the research into creating potions. His first book, Hidden Natural Histories focused on his travels to the Far East in search of medicinal magical plants that had been claimed to have been in existence for thousands of years. It'd been less academic so now he concentrated on a guide that drew parallels between the Muggle world and the wizarding world in respect of curative plant therapy.
That's how he'd met Njord in the first place; when he was in Sweden for a Herbology conference on Ecology and Conservation. His research was immediately put on a halt because of his relationship with Njord and Neville helping Njord with his analysis and experimentations. Now, it seemed like he had all the time in the world to focus his energy back on his second book.
He knew how it'd looked, when he and Njord had got together and Neville had all but abandoned his own work. But, he'd wanted to. He'd wanted to do anything and everything for him. Of course, when Njord was on the brink of a scientific discovery, he'd called it off with Neville, but Neville wasn't bitter about that. He was bitter about the fact that Njord didn't think he would be supportive. He didn't want the credit, he only wanted to be with Njord.
Two brilliant scientific minds could make it work. Even though he and Njord were interested in the same subject matter, they were on separate paths. It wouldn't ever have come down to competition or pettiness.
Neville could have made it work. Too bad Njord didn't see the same thing.
0-0-0
It'd been a month after Harry and Draco's wedding and Neville received his thank you note from the happy couple. He smiled when he read the message and thought upon the entire event with fondness.
It had been good to see his friends, and Ron was wonderfully supportive. Of course, when he started to think about Ron, his mind wandered off to Charlie. Charlie, who had all but offered Neville a wedding-shag.
Right. If only I'd been that lucky.
He wondered what Charlie was up to now. Which clubs he was frequenting in Norway, or Romania or wherever else he was now-a-days. Even though Neville had been slightly upset by Charlie's teasing offer—the man had unknowingly hit all of Neville's button in a bad way—his hot breath on Neville's skin, and his whispered words provided enough fantasies to last a lifetime.
If I would have seen you at a club, I would do everything in my power to take you home. Even fuck you in an alley if that were your thing..."
The words haunted him. Frequently, he found himself imagining being on his knees and taking Charlie into his mouth, in a dark alley of some dodgy Muggle club, of all the places. He imagined being pushed against a cold, dirty wall, as Charlie fucked him calling out his name.
It was good. It was awful, but it was good. These fantasies kept Neville from thinking about Njord too much, as his research during the day often led him in that direction. Every time he found himself thinking about Njord, or being sad about the matter, he'd lock himself in the bathroom of his tiny office and wank. Charlie's eyes, his heated gaze on Neville, his words...anything and everything he could think of, he would, and it would work. He'd return to his work, concentrate better, and wonder how long he could hold out before he'd go to a gay club and pull on a tall, broad shouldered, ginger.
Evidently he didn't have to wait long. Charlie Bloody Weasley, the man himself, stopped by Neville's house.
0-0-0
"What are you doing here?"
The words left Neville's mouth before he could stop himself. He'd just come out of his offence and walked into the sitting room where he saw Gran and Charlie sitting on the sofa, having tea. Neville hadn't even known they had a visitor.
"That is not how we speak to guests, Neville," his Gran said with the most disapproving tone.
"I apologise," Neville said, trying not to roll his eyes. "Caught me by surprise, is all."
"Sorry about the intrusion, but I came to speak to you...about something."
"Oh?" Neville said, taken aback. "Is it about work?"
"No. Not exactly," Charlie said, and he looked at Gran nervously. "I also brought you pictures from the wedding. I know Mum was sad you weren't able to make it. She also wanted me to tell you that you must visit her as soon as you have the time."
Gran got up from the sofa and fixed her robes. "That's very kind of you, dear. I will just go and write your mother a note and perhaps you could deliver it for me?" She sounded so sweet, so out of character, that Neville didn't know what to do with himself.
Even with Harry, who she adored, she'd been short and to the point. What was it about Charlie that made her behave so completely different? He didn't have enough time to dwell on the matter, as Gran was out of the room in no time and Charlie was now face to face with him.
"Can we talk?"
Neville nodded and made his way to the office, Charlie following right behind him. He closed the door after Charlie entered and gestured for him to sit.
"I'll stand, thanks."
"Very well, then," Neville said. "Can I help you with—"
"I wanted to apologise," Charlie said immediately.
"Apologise?" Neville asked. "What about?"
"At the reception. I was forward, too forward. I mean, you are practically a part of my family and I was, well, unrefined. I didn't know if I offended you or... I was just trying to make you feel better. I told you, I'm not nice. I don't know how to be nice so when I said those things, I was trying to be funny."
"I wasn't offended," Neville said and Charlie looked surprised at his response. He raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "Okay, I was maybe stunned by your boldness, but that was just because—" Neville stopped himself before he could do any damage. He didn't want to admit to Charlie he fancied him. Or used to. And maybe he still did because he did rub himself raw every night thinking of the man.
"Because...?" Charlie drawled.
"I was getting over a breakup. The idea that someone else wanted me was too much to handle," Neville lied. It was the best thing he could come up with on the spot so he just went with it.
"So are you over it?" Charlie asked and smiled. He was being kind, Neville could tell, and he felt slightly good about that. Charlie Weasley wasn't teasing him, he was being sympathetic.
Neville shrugged. "I have my research to concentrate on."
"And what is your research about?" Charlie looked around the room, and then past Neville's shoulder at his work desk. Parchments were everywhere with at least two quills on the floor. Books on Herbology, Muggle studies of Botany, were all half open or stacked on top of each other. It was a mess. It would look like a mess to an outsider.
"A book," Neville said, so Charlie could stop looking over his mess, and look at Neville instead —who was also kind of a mess. "It's a companion piece to my last one, focusing on curative plant therapy."
Charlie raised an eyebrow, looking impressed. Neville's stomach did a small flip at the pride he felt. He wanted to impress him, and had possibly succeeded.
"You know there are a lot of academic researches being done in Romania on plant transformation technologies and plant molecular genetics," Charlie said. "It's the latest breaking ground for many Herbology expert wizards who are shifting their focus there rather than to other parts of the wizarding world."
Neville raised an eyebrow. Yes, he did know that—it was sort of his job to know that. But how did someone who bred dragons would—
"I used to know someone...dated someone in the field," Charlie said, clearly reading the confusion off Neville's face.
Neville snorted, "Me too."
Charlie looked at him thoughtfully. Neville wished he could figure out what Charlie was thinking. He wasn't the best at Legilimency; that was Harry and Draco's field of expertise.
"What is it?" Neville finally asked. He was feeling absurdly self-conscious. Something he was not used to in his own space. He ran a hand through his hair and hoped whatever it was Charlie was thinking, he'd soon reveal it.
"Nothing. That's not why I'm here," Charlie mumbled, seemingly to himself. "I just wanted to apologise and hoped maybe you'd accompany me for dinner."
"Oh," Neville said.
"Are you free tonight?"
"It's Thursday," Neville said and Charlie looked at him as if that was supposed to mean something. "I usually give Gran a break on Thursday nights and make dinner. I don't know if I can just cancel with her—"
Charlie nodded, looking disappointed. "Better luck next time, then."
"Would you like to join us?" Neville found himself asking.
"I...I don't know. I was hoping to take you out to dinner than have you make dinner for me," Charlie said with a small chuckle.
"It's not a big deal. I think Gran would like it if you could join us."
"Well, if Gran will like it, then how can I say no?" Charlie teased and patted Neville on his shoulder.
Neville was glad whatever tension there was seemed to be over. He escorted Charlie out of his office and they found Gran sitting on the sofa with a newspaper. Her eyes were fixed on the page, but they weren't moving. Neville knew she wasn't reading it, she never read the paper and wondered just how much she'd heard.
"Gran. Charlie is coming by for dinner tonight," he announced as they entered the sitting room.
She looked up from the paper, faking startlement. That woman was something else, Neville thought to himself.
"That's wonderful news!" she said standing up. She went over to Charlie and pulled him in for a hug. Charlie looked alarmed for a moment but then schooled his face. He was probably used to all sorts of affection and hugs being a Weasley, maybe he just didn't think Gran would be like that too. Neville certainly wasn't used to it.
It was soon after Gran handed Charlie a letter for his mum that he took his leave and he was gone.
"I like him," she turned and said to Neville.
"Clearly," he said, chuckling and turned to return to his office. Perhaps he could focus some energy on cleaning it up; given he had unannounced visitors now.
"I wouldn't mind if he came around more often," she said, before Neville could leave the room. "That Njord never had a problem just barging in here, I don't see why Charlie can't grace us with his presence more. He's such a better suit—"
"He lives in Romania, Gran," Neville said. "And sometimes in Norway." Neville wasn't entirely sure. All he knew was that Charlie travelled a lot because of his work.
"Njord lives in Sweden," she said, sounding annoyed. Ah, and here was the Gran he was used to and loved. "He didn't have a problem popping in and out and you were visiting him far too often, if I recall."
"I was helping him with—"
"You can help Charlie."
"Charlie and I are not romantically involved," Neville said.
"And why not?" she snapped. "He's such a wonderful young man. You know his mother and I have been corresponding—"
"Gran. Don't." Neville left the room and closed his office door. He didn't want this. Maybe he did, but he didn't want his grandmother dictating his life, his romantic life, and his partners. She didn't like Njord and Neville liked him so he continued dating the man. Now, just because she liked Charlie didn't mean Neville did, too.
Okay, so maybe Neville did like Charlie too.
Merlin, he was so confused.
0-0-0
Dinner was a quiet affair. Awkward and quiet.
Gran was apparently cross with Neville for shutting her train of thought down about him and Charlie, and Charlie seemed to have picked up on it. Or at least, he knew Gran was not speaking to Neville.
"Everything is delicious," Charlie said, sitting across from Neville, and to Gran's right. He nodded at Neville and looked over at Gran as if he was expecting something.
"It is nice," she said with a straight face and stabbed her heirloom tomato with a fork before picking it up and eating it.
"Thank you for the wine," Neville said, pouring some more in Charlie and Gran's glass before he did the same for himself.
"Charlie, are you single?" Gran asked, giving Neville a start and he almost slammed the bottle on their glass dining table. He wanted to say something, tell Gran to mind her own business, but Charlie spoke before Neville could.
"At the moment, yes," he said, smiling at Gran and without making eye-contact with Neville.
"You know your mum is worried you and your sister concentrate far too much on your careers and don't have time to meet anyone," she said. Her tone had changed slightly, and Neville could only think that was for the worst. She was getting to be too sweet with Charlie again. He hoped she wouldn't tell Charlie he should date Neville.
"Well, I don't think Ginny and I are trying to stay single. We just have other priorities in life. We have other things to focus on. I don't think our purpose in life is to just find the person and get married and that's it. I mean, you know, you fought in the wars too. We're just trying to make something of ourselves." Charlie's voice was calm and soothing and even though he sounded annoyed, he was not insulting towards Gran, at all.
Neville was thoroughly impressed.
Gran seemed to be quiet for a few moments after that. But, of course, it didn't last long.
"I just wish...I know why it's hard for some of the young people to find love. I had it for a long time, you can't blame an old woman for wishing the same kind of happiness for—"
"It's not a race," Neville said, quietly. He wasn't sure if he'd been heard but since Gran stopped talking and Charlie looked up at him, he knew he had. "Isn't that what you told me after Njord and I ended our relationship?
"Njord?" Charlie asked, sounding amused. Neville looked up at him and found Charlie with a huge grin on his face.
"Yeah..." Neville said, confused as anxiety took over him. Did Charlie know him? Was he the one Charlie had dated? But if so, he wouldn't look so amused, right?
"That's an...interesting name," Charlie said, and now Neville could tell he was trying not to laugh.
Neville scowled at Charlie as he sat across him, and turned red. "It's not that funny," he said.
"It's a little funny," Charlie said.
"It is, isn't it?" Gran chimed in.
"You two...I've just had it..." Neville stood up, loudly pushing his chair back. "I'm going to get the custard." He walked away from the dining table where Charlie and Gran were both now laughing with abandon.
When he reached the kitchen, Neville grasped the edge of the counter tightly and tried to pull himself together. Having a strange surname had gotten him teased enough in primary school and then at Hogwarts, he just couldn't deal with people he knew doing the same.
It's not a big deal. He tried to console himself. He wasn't sure if he was upset they were making fun of Njord's name because he liked Njord or because Charlie thought Neville was a—
"Hey, are you okay?" Charlie's voice came from behind and Neville immediately straightened up. He turned around to see Charlie looking worried.
"Fine," he said.
"I'm sorry. Again."
"For what?" Neville asked. "This time."
"I was being rude. I shouldn't have made fun of your ex-boyfriend's name like that. I'm sure you cared for him and I was just being an arse. Again."
Neville shrugged. "It's all right. He was the one that was kind of an arse," he said, smiling. He didn't want Charlie to feel bad because of his own damned insecurities. "With a funny name."
Charlie's grin seemed to light up the room and Neville was glad for it. He needed to get it in control. At least, there was one good thing that came out of it, he thought. He wasn't defending Njord anymore. He was trying to make Charlie feel better. On top of that, it didn't hurt to think about him, or mention him in conversation. Now Charlie had brought him up, he'd only been annoyed. He wanted to focus on Charlie. Not Njord.
"Do you still love him?" Charlie asked, as he grabbed the bowls Neville handed him for the dessert. He was going to carry the small bowl of custard and cream himself.
"No," Neville said and before he could add anything, he heard Gran calling his name and asking for tea. He quickly ran towards the dining table to leave the bowl there, before he returned to make Gran her evening cuppa.
0-0-0
After Gran stated she was too tired to stay up with them, she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom, leaving Charlie and Neville alone in the sitting room. Charlie sat on the sitting room sofa across from Neville, sipping on his port wine.
"Thanks for inviting me over tonight," he said, looking at Neville and smiling softly. "Everything was delicious."
Neville nodded. "Of course, I think Gran liked having you here, maybe even more than me."
Charlie threw his head back and laughed. "I don't know, after you disappeared into the kitchen she was going on about how great you are. How it is too bad you are single and if I knew a nice boy to introduce you to..."
Neville laughed along with Charlie then. "I suppose she already knows you're not a nice boy."
"I reckon so," Charlie said.
"I'm glad you could come by tonight," Neville said, relaxing into his armchair. Maybe it was the port wine or maybe it was just the fact that Charlie was there and Neville wasn't completely losing it. Maybe his crush was settling and he could actually see himself becoming friends with the man.
"So do you cook for your Gran every Thursday?"
Neville nodded. "I try to, if for some reason I can't, I switch the days. When I was with— In the past, when I was often travelling to Sweden, I made sure Harry or Draco stopped by to check on her. But we do go and see my parents together so I know I see her often enough."
"You're really good with her," Charlie said, sounding impressed or maybe surprised. Neville was going to respond with something when Charlie spoke again. "I'm truly astounded no one has swept you off your feet already. I mean, you're a genuinely decent bloke, and you're smart but you're not arrogant about it—"
"Maybe no one wants a decent, non-arrogant bloke," Neville said, shrugging. "Besides, that's not what I want right now. I just want to focus on my next book and take care of Gran. She's getting fragile by the day but she'll never let you see that, of course."
Charlie looked thoughtful, and then he abruptly stood up. "I should go."
"Oh. Okay," Neville said, confused, and stood up as well. He walked Charlie out to the door and then realised that maybe Charlie would have wanted to use the Floo. He was about to ask when Charlie summoned his broom. When Charlie had arrived at their house earlier that evening, Neville was in the kitchen so he had no idea how Charlie had got there.
"Thanks for stopping by," Neville said, as he watched Charlie mount the broom. "Are you going back to the Burrow?"
Charlie nodded. "Yeah, I told Mum I'd spend the night, and then I was going to just Apparate to my place in the morning tomorrow."
"Brilliant. Maybe we can do this again," Neville found himself asking.
"Do what?" Charlie asked, bemused.
"Dinner," Neville said, I think. Then he shrugged and decided to just go with it. "Next Thursday? I'm sure Gran would love to see you again."
"And you?" Charlie asked, tilting his head, as if he was trying to figure Neville out.
"I'd like it too," he said.
"Excellent, I'll be here." With a tiny salute, Charlie pushed off the ground and disappeared into the night.
Great. Now Neville had done it. It was one thing to think Charlie didn't have much of a power over him, or his crush was ending; but to invite the man over for dinner again? That was simply daft.
However, the idea of never seeing Charlie again after that night, was something Neville didn't like to think about. Charlie could have said no but he didn't, so Neville decided to try his luck on this friendship thing.
0-0-0
It took roughly four more Thursday night dinner engagements before Charlie kissed Neville. Well, almost kissed him.
After the first night, which had been their second Thursday night together, it seemed like Thursday nights were going to become a staple event for them. Gran, naturally, was not against it at all.
After the third dinner evening, Gran opted to skip dessert, claiming she had plans with some of her friends. "What friends?" Neville wondered and she'd just dismissed his concern. She'd left the house and returned late. When she found Neville alone in his office, she'd only made a disappointed face.
Eventually, five weeks later, when Neville walked outside the house with Charlie so he could gather his broom, Charlie caught Neville off-guard. "Do you have plans for Friday night?"
Neville shook his head. "I was going to the Wizarding Archives tomorrow for some reference materials—"
"At night?" Charlie asked, one eyebrow raised.
"No. During the day. And then probably calling it an early night—"
"Do you want to have drinks tomorrow? At the Leaky, before—"
"Right!" Neville said, nearly smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand. "It's Draco's birthday. I can't believe I totally forgot. I thought it was at The Drunken Dragon? I got the invite—"
"Yeah, and that's later in the evening. But, I meant, you and I. Drinks before we go to Draco's birthday party."
"You want to go to the party together?" Neville asked, and Charlie nodded accompanied with his brows furrowing as if Neville was the most dense person ever. "Like a date?"
"That was the general idea. I mean, as much as I like seeing you, and having dinner together. It's sort of hard to flirt with you when your grandmother is sitting right there, too."
Neville laughed nervously. "She wouldn't mind," he said.
Charlie placed his broom against the wall next to Neville and walked up close to him. His breath was on Neville, and Neville could smell the hint of Firewhisky they'd shared earlier. "I mind," Charlie said and he ghostly brushed his lips against Neville's before pulling away.
Neville gulped nervously before he started to ask, "Is this—"
"This isn't me being funny, or nice, or illusive. I want this...you." He placed his hand on Neville's chest and let it rest there for a moment.
"What time should I meet you there?" Neville asked, not truly grasping he'd just asked that. His brain was still catching up.
"I'll come by here and pick you up at six?" Charlie asked, cocking his head sideways again, as if he was trying to read Neville.
"Okay," Neville said.
And just like the weeks before, Charlie mounted his broom and flew away, leaving Neville wishing he'd asked him to stay the night.
0-0-0
Neville should have known by now—things never work out the way you want them to. At half past five, when he was still in the middle of getting ready there was a knock on the door. Gran had gone out to visit these mysterious friends of hers and Neville was all alone in the house.
He was surprised to realise Charlie was early so he threw on a shirt and left his room. His hair was still wet and he figured Charlie would just have to wait while he got ready, or maybe Charlie would want to watch him— No, not just yet.
Opening the door, Neville could feel the huge grin on his face. "You're earl— Oh. Njord."
"Hello, Neville," Njord said with a smirk on his face Neville didn't like. What did he want?
"Hi."
"Can I come in?"
Neville got out of the way and allowed Njord to enter. He didn't close the door behind him because he was sure Njord wasn't going to stay long. Neville didn't have time for this. He had a date to get ready for.
"You look good," Njord said, giving Neville a once-over. Neville internally groaned and could not for the life of him understand why Njord was there.
"What do you want?"
Njord's eyes widened with surprise. He obviously wasn't expected Neville to be so blunt. "You, of course," he said.
Neville resisted rolling his eyes. "I believe it's a bit too late for that," he said, and took a step back from Njord.
"I know I fucked up. I was just—it was just all so overwhelming. The research, the attention, and I just—I took it out on you. After it was all over, I realised you were the thing that was most important in all of that. I needed you. I couldn't have been able to do any of it without you. I'm sorry! I...I miss you."
Njord had always been a bit dramatic and today wasn't any different. His hands were flailing everywhere and he was pacing around the room. Merlin, he did like the sound of his voice too much.
"What do you say, Nev? Give me another chance—"
"I can't. It's too late," Neville said. He had to admit this was basically his dream coming true. Njord coming back to him, begging for Neville to be with him again. But, it was just so different now. It was a little too late.
"It's been nearly three months, Njord. I don't know if I can—"
"Why is it too late? Do you have a new boyfriend?"
"No," Neville said. Technically, it was the truth.
"Was I that forgettable? I mean, didn't you love me?" Njord's eyes glistened and Neville genuinely felt bad for the man. Maybe he didn't want to be with him again, but he didn't want to see Njord hurting, either.
"Njord..." Neville closed the distance between them and placed his hand on Njord's shoulder. "Don't be like that..."
Njord sniffled once and before Neville realised what was happening, his lips were on Neville's and he was holding him tight. Neville had half a mind to kiss him back when he heard the Floo roar and saw someone step out of the fireplace. The head of ginger hair from the corner of his eye was hard to miss.
"No..." Neville said, pushing Njord back. He quickly turned around and saw Charlie standing there, with a mixture of expressions: confusion, hurt, disappointment. And anger.
"Charlie, this isn't what it looks like," Neville said in a rush. "This is Njord, he just showed up—"
Charlie raised his hand to stop Neville from talking. "That's okay, you don't have to—"
"I thought you said you didn't have a new boyfriend," Njord said, sounding upset and Neville wanted to roll his eyes again until he saw the expression of hurt back on Charlie's face. Fuck Njord for screwing everything up.
"I should go," Charlie said and made his way to the front door. Neville figured he probably didn't know where he'd want to go anyway, if he took the Floo.
"Charlie, don't..." Neville grabbed Charlie's arm as he was about to leave, and Charlie looked down at him. Anger evident in his eyes. "This is over."
"It's not over, Neville," Njord helpfully provided.
Charlie yanked his arm out of Neville's grasp and walked out of the house. Neville followed him. "Wait, can we talk about this for a second?"
Charlie stopped and turned to look at Neville. "You said you didn't love him anymore. And then I find you kissing him on our d—tonight—when I got here. What's there to talk about? I do have eyes. I saw the way you were holding him, and he was kissing you." He shook his head and took a few steps back. Raising his hands in the air, as if surrendering, he added, "You know what? I'm too old for this. I don't do drama and whatever you have going on with him—"
"He just showed up here. I wasn't planning—I was trying to make him leave—"
"It's fine, Neville. This was nothing, anyway," Charlie said and before Neville could get a word in edgewise, Disapparated.
Neville marched back into the house, angrier than he'd been in a very long time. When he stepped inside, he found Njord in his office, looking over the papers on his work desk. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Njord looked startled and he quickly stepped away from Neville's work. "I told you...I want you back."
"What is it? You're stuck in your research? Need my help to figure out your fucking problems again so you can publish another academic paper and not give me credit for it? So you can fucking take in all the bloody glory and then dump me?"
Neville's hands had balled into fists so he shoved them in his trouser pockets. He was afraid he'd cast some sort of wandless curse on Njord, or might just flat out punch him.
"Neville, you know it wasn't like that between us."
"It was exactly like that between us, and I didn't care. I didn't care then because I loved you."
"And now—"
"I don't love you anymore. I love Charlie!"
Njord seemed a bit taken aback by Neville's declaration, and evidently, it'd shocked Neville too. Sure, they'd only spent very little time together, but Neville always looked up to the evenings when Charlie would come over. They spent most of the dinner talking and then, after Gran would go up to bed, they'd spend more time in the sitting room. He realised in some convoluted way, they had been dating, even if there was no sex involved. But, all of that was going to change after tonight. It was supposed to be their first official date and then Neville was going to invite Charlie over, and ask him to spend the night.
That was, until Njord ruined everything.
"Neville—"
"You heard my grandson. You need to leave." Neville turned around and found Gran waiting by the office door, her travelling cloak still on and her umbrella ready to be used as a weapon.
"Mrs Long—"
"She doesn't like you. I think you should go," Neville said.
Njord's shoulders slumped slightly and he walked out of the office, and then out of the house. Gran slammed the door behind him and then turned to look at Neville.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were out—"
"I forgot my cards," she said, and then summoned her playing cards from upstairs. "I can't go to a proper wizarding game night without my own deck of cards."
Neville nodded at her, still feeling a bit winded. His grandmother had a better social life than he did. "I'm afraid I've blundered everything with Charlie."
She gasped and placed her hand against her chest. "No!"
Neville wanted to laugh, if her reaction hadn't been so accurate to how he'd felt. "He saw Njord kiss me and misunderstood—"
"Well, what are you going to do about it?" she asked, her arms crossed.
"I don't know, Gran. Maybe I should simply concentrate on—"
"I didn't ask what you think you should do, I asked, what are you going to do to get Charlie back?" Her voice was stern and Neville was scared to say the wrong thing to her.
"I— I could go to the party where he was going to go as my date and—"
"Neville," she said, her voice soft now. "Remember when I'd said it's not a race?" Neville nodded in agreement. "Well, it isn't until you lose the one you love. Then it's a race to get them back. If you let this one go, you're going to regret it forever."
"But I don't even know if he's going to be there now. Not after..." Neville straightened up as his grandmother continued to glare at him. "Fine. I'll get ready and I'll go. If he's not there, then I'll find him somewhere else, somehow. I'll find him and make him listen to me."
She nodded resolutely. "Good boy," she said before she turned around and went up the stairs.
0-0-0
Charlie was, in fact, present at Draco's birthday party. The Drunken Dragon was overcrowded and the music was too loud, but Neville trudged his way through the crowd towards his friends.
Charlie was surrounded by some of Harry and Draco's work friends Neville didn't know very well. He was sure Charlie had seen him approaching but didn't act like he had. Neville couldn't blame him. It'd taken weeks for Neville to melt his resolve around the man and then, when he'd finally asked Neville out, he'd walked in on Neville being kissed by another bloke. Even if it was all a misunderstanding, Neville knew when Gryffindors loved, they loved with all their heart.
"Hi," Neville shouted over the table to Charlie on the other side who seemed to be in a deep discussion with a bloke with auburn hair, and full lips. That man turned to look at Neville, but Charlie did not.
"Hi," the man said, looking confused.
"I'm Neville," Neville said, offering his hand.
The man took it and shook it. He smiled softly and said, "I'm Gale and this is—"
"Charlie, I know," Neville said. "Can we talk?" Neville looked directly at Charlie and waited. Patiently. For a long time.
"I think he's talking to you," Gale said to Charlie and finally, Charlie turned to look at him.
"About?" Charlie asked, an eyebrow raised.
"You know what about," Neville said, annoyed. Honestly, how the hell was he going to get Charlie to be alone with him if he was being this difficult? "You don't like drama and I'm not trying to create a scene in front of all these strangers. Just give me five minutes. That's all I ask."
Charlie nodded and Gale, along with the other man that was on the other side of Charlie got out of the way. They exchanged a look as if they were curious about the drama. Charlie moved around the tall bar table he was leaning on and gestured for Neville to go outside. It was too crowded so they didn't make it to the door, instead, Neville led them to the bar on the far right and bought two shots of Firewhisky.
"Where's the boyfriend?" Charlie asked as he tilted his head back and finished the shot in one go.
Neville did the same. "Well, I was hoping that I'm looking at him."
Charlie's eyes widened and Neville couldn't hide his grin. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I kicked Njord out of my house. Told him I didn't love him. You...misunderstood the situation and well...I'm sorry you had to see that. You have to know I didn't kiss him back. He just threw himself on me and the timing was all wrong—"
"How did he take it?" Charlie asked, the corners of his mouth quirking up slightly.
"Gran all but slammed the door on his face," Neville said.
Charlie threw his head back and laughed loudly. "You're joking."
Neville shook his head. "I don't want to play any games with you, Charlie. You...you've been very kind to me and well, I understand if you want to rethink the whole dating situation but— I just have to tell you this."
"What?" Charlie asked, licking his lips and it caused Neville to do the same.
"Sometimes, not getting what you want can be a wonderful stroke of luck. I wanted to be with Njord, I wanted to marry him and then he broke my heart. That was good for me. It was the luckiest thing that could have happened because if I'd not been single at Harry's wedding, then I wouldn't have danced with you. And if I hadn't danced with you, we wouldn't be here. Together."
"Together," Charlie repeated. "So... you want me?"
"Yes," Neville said, taking a deep breath. "I've always wanted you. I wanted you the first night you came over for dinner, I wanted you the night we danced together. I wanted you when I first met you—"
"Neville..." Charlie said, closing the distance between them and grabbed him by the back of his neck. His hand slowly crept up and his fingers threaded through Neville's hair.
Instinctively, Neville did the same. Everything Charlie did made him feel good, and he wanted to do the same to Charlie. He ran his fingers through Charlie's hair, and Charlie leaned into the touch. He was slightly taller than Neville, so Neville tip-toed up and kissed Charlie's nose. "Yeah?" he asked.
Without another word, Charlie captured Neville's lips in a bruising kiss. Neville's hand let go of Charlie's hair and his arms wrapped around Charlie's waist. He pulled him close and tight, without any intention of letting go. They stood there, kissing each other and shutting out the world around them.
"I think we're supposed to go out first, and then kiss like that at the end of the night," Neville said, when they let go of each other and the noise of the room returned; making Neville realise they were surrounded by people.
"You always talk this much when you're nervous?" Charlie asked.
"Picked up on that, did you?" Neville asked and Charlie shrugged a little. "Okay, so there's one more thing and then I won't talk anymore—if that's what you want."
"What is it?" Charlie asked, pulling Neville close again. "And I never not want you to talk."
Neville smiled and placed a quick kiss on Charlie's lips. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you," he said and watched the depth of his words registered on Charlie's face. "I don't mean to freak you out but I just need you to know that. I'm not just interested in going on dates with you, I mean, I am, but I want more..."
"Pretty sure?" Charlie asked, hints of amusement coating the tone of his voice.
Neville laughed. "Sure enough that I told Njord and accidentally announced it to Gran."
"Good. She likes me more, anyway," Charlie said.
"What are you two doing here?" Draco asked, coming up from behind Neville, and giving him a start.
They quickly broke apart, but Charlie grabbed Neville's hand before he could get too far, and held it in his. Draco looked down at their joined hands and gave a sly smirk. "Well, this is a development I was not expecting," Draco said, sounding delighted with himself. "Someone always gets lucky on my birthday. My friends are going to be so disappointed, Charlie."
"Well, too bad for them. Because as of this moment, I'm taken," Charlie said and wrapped his arm around Neville's neck, pulling him close. "Neville here, loves me, and I'm pretty sure I love him too."
THE END
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