Here's to hoping the ruling against the NYC Soft Drink Prohibition will hold up. If not...
"What's that you've got there?"
"A drink," the young man replied. He put the straw back in his mouth and casually took another sip.
"So is this," said the officer as he pulled a cup from behind his back, identical to the one the man was holding except it was empty and rather crushed.
"I don't know what you're talking about," the man with the soft drink said, trying to sound calm.
"Allow me to illuminate – it was a drink, until you threw it in the trash back there."
"So? It's 16 ounces."
"And 16 plus 16 makes 32," said the officer, gesturing to the drink in the man's hand. "Nice try. Next time, try something more original than buying two 16 ounce drinks with cash." He handed the empty cup to his partner, took the half-full one and handed that to him, too, then began: "You're under arrest for possession of a controlled substance with intent to get obese. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..." The two Food Police led the excessive soft-drinker away in handcuffs. No passersby stopped or even turned their head in passing to glance at the common occurrence.
Three people, however, found the sight as satisfying as they found it depressing.
"Say it," said George Orwell.
"You were right," said Ayn Rand and Aldous Huxley simultaneously.
Rand sighed, shook her head, and added, "I miscalculated. The most effective way to rule people is not through Guilt. These store owners and restaurants did not instantly bend over backwards to comply with ludicrous, pointless regulations because they feel guilty for supposedly making people obese. They complied without raising so much as a murmur of complaint because of Fear – they believe it's a hopeless fight and that there is no way to stand up to their opponent, so they cannot summon the motive power to fight at all."
"It would be impossible to use Guilt as the driving force of this law," Orwell added further. "What would people have to feel guilty about? Prior to this, it's not as if there was a law compelling people to consume sugar."
"I can't believe it, but I was wrong, too," said Huxley, still shaking his head and rubbing his brow in disbelief. "Bread-and-Circuses isn't the most effective way to rule, either – this proves Fear is. Fear is such an effective tool, you can successfully use it to drive people to give up their Bread-and-Circuses!"
Another pair of Food Police strolled past a McDonald's. One of them stopped and stared extra long through the window at an employee who spotted him soon enough to turn down a customer who tried to buy a second 16 ounce soda.
"Careful," said Orwell. "Big Brother is watching you."
"Big Brother is taking care of you," said Huxley.
"I warned them," said Rand, as the two Food Police headed toward Rockefeller Center.