((Okay so this is my first Big Time Rush fan fiction and I really hope you like it. I own nothing but the story. The Song, "4 'O Clock" Is by and owned by the amazing Emilie Autumn. BTR goes to whoever owns them. This is kind of an angst fan fiction and I have never wrote one before now. So Please R&R!))
4 'o clock
James tiptoed through the hotel room he wondered why he was awake at this ungodly hour. He went to bed early. He fell asleep but why is he awake he wondered.
"Oh yeah, Carlos." He whispered under his breath. He always had feelings for his best friend ever since he first met him back in elementary school.
As he passed the kitchen, he noticed the time. Four o'clock in the morning.
"What the fuck…" he muttered. "This is the second time this week that I woke up at this hour."
As he crossed the kitchen he started to sing softly.
4 O'clock
4 O'clock
Never let me sleep
I close my eyes and pray
For the garish light of day
Like a frightened child I run
From the sleep that never comes
He sang softly not noticing the other person in the living room lounging on the couch.
4 O'clock
4 O'clock
Out of bed I creep
To climb this tower of shame
But the hour's still the same
Only madness knows my name
At 4 O'clock
4 O'clock
4 O'clock
Never let me sleep
I close my eyes and pray
For the garish light of day
Like a frightened child I run
From the sleep that never comes
4 O'clock
4 O'clock
Out of bed I creep
To climb this tower of shame
But the hour's still the same
Only madness knows my name
At 4 O'clock
"That's beautiful James, I never knew you could sing such dark and beautiful things" The object of his affection whispered in James's ear, as he rose off of the couch.
"Oh hey, Carlos, I didn't write it. It's by Emilie Autumn." James told his secret crush.
"I know that, stupid. I was the one who told you about her. You know just because I seem stupid does not mean that I am." Carlos told him.
"Look Carlos, I have something to tell you. And I don't know how much longer I can keep it in. I have kept this a secret for as long as I can remember…" James started to say.
"James, just spit it out. It is four in the damn morning." Carlos told the taller boy with an attitude.
"I love you" James said simply. "I have loved you as long as I can remember."
Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?
Sure as the clock keeps its steady chime
Weak as I'd walk to its steady rhyme
Ticking away from the ones we love
So many girls, so little time
"And the reason why I am with so many girls is because I keep trying to prove to myself that I am not in love with you but it doesn't work. I am drawn to you. You are the only one in this world I want, ever." James poured his soul out to the love of his life.
Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?
Sure as the clock keeps its steady chime
Weak as I'd walk to its steady rhyme
Ticking away from the ones we love
So many girls, so little time
4 O'clock
4 O'clock
Never let me sleep
I close my eyes and pray
For the garish light of day
Like a frightened child I run
From the sleep that never comes
"Carlos, aren't you going to say anything? I mean I just bared my soul to you. And you are just sitting there listening to my sing." James nearly cried.
4 O'clock
4 O'clock
Out of bed I creep
To climb this tower of shame
But the hour's still the same
Only madness knows my name
At 4 O'clock
Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?
"Please, Carlos, Say something, anything really. I just told you that I love you and I don't even get a response?" James cried to the love of his life.
Sure as the clock keeps its steady chime
Weak as I'd walk to its steady rhyme
Ticking away from the ones we love
So many girls, so little time
Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?
Sure as the clock keeps its steady chime
Weak as I'd walk to its steady rhyme
Ticking away from the ones we love
So many girls, so little time
Why can we never go back to bed?
Why can we never go back to bed?
"James, I know you love you me. I was waiting for you to finish the song. And you really weren't hiding it from me. It was obvious that you love me. I have known all along." Carlos told James.
"What do you mean? Is this all you have to say? I literally just bared my soul to you. And all you have to say is, 'I know'? What the fuck Carlos. And what do you mean I haven't been hiding it from you?" James cried.
"I mean I have always known James, I can see it in the way you look at me. I can tell by the way you touch me. And I hate to do this but I don't fully think I feel the same way about you. I mean I have feelings for you, I just don't think they are as deep as what you feel for me. I mean, yeah, I love you too. But I think it may be just as a friend. Yeah I am bi, but you just are not fully aren't my type, but..." Carlos told a heartbroken James.
"But what, Carlos, but what?" James cried o ut through the tears streaming down his face.
"But I am willing to give it a shot." Carlos told a crying James as he softly kissed him on his lips.