America and China Chased by an Ostrich
I hate this! So much! I have to take a road trip with the rest of the nations. Unfortunately, I have to ride in the same car as America, so I might kill him and take his car before we even get to Vegas. Oh, I didn't mention we're going to Vegas? Well, we are. So, anyway, I had to pee, so I had to go on the side of the road. As I finished, I noticed a huge bird watching me. One leg was up, his body was facing the front, but his head was facing me. Instantly, I ran to the car. I didn't know what it was, so I didn't say anything.
America was near the car and spotted the fat bird. "Yo, dude, what the fuck is that?" He asked. I glanced back. "I don't know. Maybe it's a man-pigeon. I don't know what it is." He smirked. "It ain't no man-pigeon." America said. I scowled. "Yeah, It is aru." This dolt took an ink pen from his suitcase and threw it at the bird. It instantly hit him smack in the chest. As soon as it did, his leg came down. His body was still facing forward, but his head was turned to us. When his leg came down, my bitch side, that I rarely admit is there, started to come out a little bit.
"You know what? We should probably get back in the car because we don't really know what that means." I said. And at the time, we didn't know what that meant. That could've been a sign. It could've meant like, "You got ten seconds to get the frak outta my face before I kill you, I'mma eat your future kids." "We don't know what he's trying to say, so lets get back in the car where we're safe." I said.
So, we get in the car, and once we do, I laugh. So, he's driving 30 miles per hour, and I look out the driver's window and see the bird running 30 miles per hour beside the car. His body's still facing front, but his head is turned right at us! And he was friking running his ass off! At 30 miles per hour!
When I got scared that time, I got really emotional, like, I was really gonna cry a little. I turned to America, who was trying to drive faster than the bird. "Why would you throw a pen at it, when we don't even know, what it is aru?" He was gonna say something, so I cut him off. "No, no! We don't even know what it is aru! WEDON'TKNOWWHATTHEFUCKITIS!" I finished with an inaudible, High-pitched (And very girly) scream.
"Dude, stop bitchin' and sit back while I speed up!" He started driving 60 miles per hour. And I'm not lying when I say this bird was running 6o miles per hour, I'm not B.S-ing. His body was still facing the front, but his head was staring right at us! He was running so fast you couldn't even see his legs, they were like a blur. The reason I was so scared is because he wasn't worried about a wall , another bird, he was just watching us! But the way he was watching us was like he was saying "When I catch you, I'm gonna fuck both of you up!" Over a pen, over a god-damned pen!
"Why don't you just apologize?" I asked America, who was trying to speed up. I was so scared because I didn't throw the fucking pen! The bird wants to kill someone, kill the dumbass next to me! Ai Ya! This is why I will never, ever, EVER, take...a ride...from America...on a road trip...again aru!
FIN