Detectives: Take Three
Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to the big eye… CBS.
Rating: Nothing too mature.
Summary: Greg and take a third turn at being detectives. Lets she how it goes.
A/N: I found this on my computer and decided to finish it. If you haven't read any other Detectives stories by me, please do. They're quite funny. Please review and enjoy!
Greg Sanders moved around the living room of Catherine Willows. He carefully watched the bookshelf closely as he walked by it. Think Grissom, he thought as he observed.
"Greg, what are you doing?" Sara asked making him jump.
"Nothing," he replied. "Just… admiring Catherine's book collection."
Sara sighed, "You're not spying again are you?"
"No, why…"
"This is her surprise birthday party Greg!"
"Sara, you are not in surprise-birthday-party-chill mode. I was just admiring the home of our lovely, and hot, assistant supervisor."
"Do you want me to make Nick and Warrick have a talk with you?" she asked with her hands on her hips.
"What am I? Two?"
"Nick! Warrick!" she yelled after she thought about it.
Nick and Warrick busted through the swinging kitchen door with balloons in their hands.
"Supppp," Warrick said. Sara and Greg jumped back slightly as a high pitched voice was emitted from his body.
"Dude," Nick said giggling, "We sound like Greg when he's pissed."
Warrick laughed, "You guys are hurting my feelings," Warrick mimicked him with the squeaky voice.
"And I'm two," Greg said.
"What the hell?" Lindsey said coming from downstairs. "Are you guys high and not sharing?"
"No, they're men," Sara replied.
"Is there enough helium for the rest of the balloons?" Lindsey asked. "My mom will be here in a little while."
"There's plenty of helium," said Warrick. He giggled with his helium altered voice. Lindsey took the balloons from him and Nick.
Greg watched as she left. "Okay guys, I've got a plan."
"What are you talking about?" Nick said his voice still squeaky.
"We need to find out if Grissom and Catherine are for real."
"What do you mean for real?" Warrick asked his voice back to normal now.
"We need evidence that they are in a serious relationship."
"How do we know that they are in one again?" Sara asked.
"Have you not been paying attention?"
"To you? No," she replied.
"I think that they are a couple. We found Catherine's thong in his office, on the wall and when we were hiding in Grissom's office they were about to get it on, on his desk. Then they had … they got it on, on my iPod."
"I know you had a hard time after that. Did therapy help?" Nick asked him.
"Not really. I burned my iPod and got a new one," he told them casually.
"Why do you need evidence? Why do you even need to confirm that they are together?" Sara asked.
"Because I am Greg Sanders and I know everything that goes on in CSI headquarters. So who's in this with me?"
"What do we get out of it?" Warrick asked.
"I'll organize your kit."
"And…" Nick said, "What? I need something more if I'm risking getting scarred for life... again."
"I'll… wash your car. That's the best I can do; I do have a life."
"Eating cereal in your underwear and watching Family Guy isn't a life Greg," Sara replied.
"Whatever. Are you guys in? If we're lucky we can find some nuddies of Catherine."
Sara immediately wacked him over the head, "Sicko."
"You don't have a penis so I don't expect you to understand," he replied.
"Ok, I'm in," Nick said and Sara glared at him, "Only because my kit is a little messy."
"Warrick?"
"I don't want to miss out on the fun. What are we looking for?"
"Hm, well, we already know that there is something going on, but we need to know that they're on a serious level and more than just friends with benefits. So what do you have in your house that suggests a serious relationship?"
"If I were in a serious relationship, I'd have a drawer in my room for my girl?" Nick suggested.
"They might have a key, but that's probably with Grissom," Warrick said.
Greg shrugged, "Let's put our day job skills to work. Nick and Warrick take the study and Sara and I will take the bedroom," he said quickly running towards the stairs before anyone could object.
"Bastard," Warrick mumbled. "Come on man."
IN THE STUDY
"Why do we listen to Greg?" Nick asked looking around Catherine's desk. It was piled with papers he guessed were from work.
"Who knows? Looks like some of Grissom's cases are here. Would you bring your work to a casual girlfriends place?"
"If we worked together, maybe," Nick said. "His glasses," he said holding up Grissom's familiar frames.
"Wow, here is a picture of the two of them. Pictures mean serous and neither of them have it at work. Nick, nothing seems unusual here though," he said pulling open the drawers.
"Nah, man. Let's head upstairs with Greg and Sara."
IN THE ROOM
"Well here are his clothes: a sign of a serious relationship as indicated by Nick," Greg said opening some drawers, "and jackpot: the panty drawer." He pulled out a pair of black lacy underwear. "That is so hot."
Sara snatched them out of his hands and tossed them in the drawer. "Can you please stay focused on your mission?"
"Sorry, I'm only human. You find anything?"
Sara walked to the night stand near the bed and opened the drawer. "Whoa," she said pulling out a pair of handcuffs.
"Ohh," Greg purred hurrying beside her to peer in the drawer. "What else is in there?"
"Um, a piece of silk, a feather and ew."
"Lube," Greg said with a grin. "Gil Grissom is a lucky man."
"Okay, that's enough. Go check the other drawer," she instructed. Greg obeyed and made his way around the king sized bed.
"Whoa baby."
"What? More sex stuff?"
"No," he said reaching in, "An issue of Etymology Monthly." He held up the magazine that could only belong to Gil Grissom.
Sara's eyes widened. "No," she whispered. All four CSI's knew that an evidence of Grissom's passion for bugs meant serious.
"Hey guys, we got nothing downstairs," Nick said entering the room, "except a picture of Cath and Griss."
"What's that? Porn?" Warrick asked.
"No," Sara replied, "It's an issue of Etymology Monthly."
"What?" Nick asked with a chuckle.
"Man, this is majorly serious," Warrick said.
"Yeah," Greg replied, "This probably means that Grissom even lives here or he's about to move in!"
"What else is in there?" Sara asked.
"Stuff that belongs to Grissom: A book, an MP3 player, a pair of old glasses, condoms and just men's stuff," Greg replied. "Wait."
"What?" they all said at once before rushing around him. They all stood over the open drawer staring down at a small velvet box.
"Do you think…?" Sara asked.
Nick looked around the crowd, "Only one way to find out," he said before bravely picking up the box and opening it. The four young CSI's stood in awe at the ring that seemed to shine on all of their faces. They all resembled four kids discovering a treasure.
"An engagement ring?" Sara asked with disbelief.
"Yeah or just a big ass promise ring," Warrick replied.
"That is one huge rock," Nick said.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" They all jumped to Grissom's voice.
They all turned around, startled, blocking the view of the opened drawer. Nick hid the box behind his back.
"Nothing?" Greg said as more of a question.
"We were just… trying to find… Catherine's address book to invite more people and some tape," Sara said, "for more streamers and Lindsey was busy."
"Does it take all four of you?"
"We were all just wondering what was talking Greg so long," Nick said smoothly. The three CSI's watched as Nick tucked the box in his back pocket.
"Okay then," he said eyeing them. "Well her address book is downstairs in her study. I'll go get it. Catherine will be here in about an hour."
They all watched as the senior CSI turned around. Nick glanced at his coworkers with a sigh of relief before they all followed him.
LATER
"She's coming!" Greg said peeking out the window. "Everybody be quiet!"
Everyone in Catherine's house hushed and waited for her to open the door to her house.
OUTSIDE
Catherine sighed and parked her car. She smiled as she read the text on her phone from Grissom: Can't wait to see you :) She fiddled with the keys to open her door.
"SURPRISE!"
She jumped and dropped her bag before she smiled and viewed what was in front of her. She saw Gil and the team along with Lindsey her mother and a few friends standing and smiling at her.
"Oh my God," she said holding her hand over her chest. "You guys scared me. Oh, thank you!"
"Happy birthday!" Greg said running to give her a hug. "Did we surprise you?"
"Yeah, Greg. Good job," she said with a chucked as he closed the door behind her. Nick, Warrick, Sara and Lindsey followed to wish her a happy birthday.
Gil approached her with a smile. "Happy birthday, sweetheart," he said before plating a kiss on her lips. Everyone smiled and whispered to one another.
"You owe me twenty," Nick said to Warrick who rolled his eyes.
"Thanks. Whose idea was this?"
"It was Greg and Lindsey's actually. My surprise for you comes later," he said with a wink.
"Oh, can't wait."
"Catherine, dear," her mother said walking up behind her. "Happy birthday."
"Thanks mom," she said giving her a gentle hug.
"Would you ladies like something to drink?"
"Sure," they both said.
LATER
"Guys I still have the ring in my pocket."
"Oh yeah, totally forgot about that," Greg said. "So what are you gonna do?"
"You, you little weasel are going to put it back!" Nick said.
"Why me? I didn't put it your pocket."
"Whose idea was it?"
"Sara's? Don't hit me," he said before Sara hit him. "You've got to stop that. Look, if you minions are too afraid, I'll do it. Just give it to me and keep an eye on them.
Nick handed him the box.
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM
"Hey," Catherine said wrapping her arm around Grissom's waist.
"Hey. Are you enjoying the party?"
"Yes, but it could be better," she said seductively. Hearing her tone he leaned closer to her.
"How so?" he asked.
"Let's go upstairs," she whispered with a smile. Grissom looked around the room and nodded, letting her lead the way as they snuck upstairs.
BACK TO THE OTHER SIDE
"Um, guys," Nick said, "Where'd they go?"
Sara and Warrick looked around, searching for their supervisors. All three of the CSI's looked at each other and laughed.
UPSTAIRS
Greg carefully closed the drawer next to Catherine's bed. "See, that was easy. I don't know what those losers are afraid of," he said to himself.
His jumped when he heard footsteps and looked around for somewhere to hide. His eyes fell on the closet and he ran for it. The closet was positioned with the perfect view of most of the room including the bed, and the master bathroom.
"Please don't come in here and please don't be Catherine or Grissom," he prayed to himself. His heart began to beat faster when he heard the door open and close.
"Gil…" he heard Catherine's almost unrecognizable voice breathe breathlessly.
He watched from the crack in the door as Catherine's body was tossed on to the bed. She laughed and pulled her dressed over her head before tossing it to the side of the bed. Grissom's half dressed body soon covered hers.
Greg felt his stomach begin to turn. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. He closed his eyes and opened them again hoping the scene would vanish, but there were his senior supervisors attacking each other like two ferocious lions.
He smiled for a moment, hearing Catherine moan and Gil disappear, leaving the perfect view of her lying in her matching bra and panty set. His smile faded when Gil came back into view wearing only a pair of boxers covered in happy faces. Catherine's hand disappeared between their bodies and disappeared into Grissom's boxers. Grissom moaned, and Greg had it.
"Enough!" he said emerging from the closet making the two lovers jump across the room. "This would have been enjoyable if Catherine were by herself."
Both Catherine and Grissom stood very confused and speechless and watched as Greg stormed to the door.
"And you two have way too much sex for your age! You could have heart attacks you know!" he said before slamming the door shut.
"Wait, did Greg just come out of my closet?" Catherine asked.
"Um, you saw that too?"
Catherine shook her head, "What a team we have."
DOWNSTAIRS
"I am going to kill all three of you and hide your bodies across the deserts of Nevada," Greg said standing in front of his three coworkers.
"What… what happened, Greggo?" Nick asked trying not to laugh before they all began to laugh in Greg's face.
Take three: SUCCESS WITH SCARING OF GREG SANDERS PSYCHE.
A/N: All grammar and spelling mistakes are mine, sorry. Please review!