Bittersweet Siblings

"Thank you...Sylvette."

Noir arose from the murky waters of Shark Cape. He had to admit that he was lucky he knew the area well, and lucky enough to escape from Lawrence and his followers unscathed. Noir had judged Lawrence wrongly of his ideals. He was nothing more than narrow and selfish; how he collected supporters and ended up sacrificing them for his own personal ambitions, the intention of helping the kin of similar people who had suffered as he did at the hands of the Amberground government nothing but deceit. Noir had joined Reverse to help the unfortunate group of people, the ones that could not become spirit- with it's leader now seeing things differently, Noir had fled the organization.

Now branded a traitor from Reverse, Noir was now dirty, miserable, and alone –and there were people precious to him seemingly unbeknownst of the imminent threat and danger that would befall them. He thought of Roda, his dingo, and her flowered scent, her beautiful purple eyes. He wondered how her sickly state was faring as she was approaching an unknown destination, and wondered if the rest of the non-Spirits were alright as well. He reminisced how he gained his affiliation with them and Reverse. How he witnessed the terrible things they went through. How they were used as playthings and disposed of like trash. How fear and hatred resided in their hearts as a result of the cold experiences that plagued them. And how he set his heart out of his own pity to help these unfortunate beings however which he can. As Noir. Never Gauche.

He thought of what the gatekeepers, Signal and Signaless had informed him during Lawrence's mission.

Lawrence intends to offer those strong hearts to the Cabernet, greatly increasing his power, and take down the artificial sun.

His mind sharpened out of his sceptical thoughts and a tinge of optimism aroused him. Possible as it may, Roda and the others wouldn't let themselves be killed by Lawrence, he thought, as he surveyed the dull, rocky structures in front of him that made a familiar path towards the west. Yuusari Central wasn't a far walk. He knew what he needed to do. Where he needed to go. Where he'd find answers. Where he'd find help.

Endless minutes of walking led Noir to Sinner's door. He secretly found it ironic that Gauche's memories would help in a time like this. Ironic how Lag's heart bullet would actually provide even the slightest of hope in such a situation. Doubts surrounded him still; were his actions correct? Would he end up being submitted to the authorities? Or would it be best if he posed as Gauche Suede yet again? Of course, his sharp mind contemplated the posibility that the Bee Hive had already discovered his deception. Was he now simply submitting himself to the net of justice? Would his efforts end in vain?

The little hope Noir had in his heart didn't go to waste. He was lucky that Jacob and Sandra spared their curiousity and gave him what he required without too big of a fuss. However, the couple's words still bothered him, to a mild degree. He was no longer Gauche, and that was something he wouldn't go back on. A name bothered him next.

Sylvette.

Sylvette, he allowed the name to wander his mind, awakening memories. The girl who once used to be his sister, the girl who he decieved into believing he returned as her beloved brother and left without a trace when he escaped. The girl whom he threw away without a care in the world, insensitive of the tears that have been shed...just as how Roda and the others were thrown away. No love, no compassion. But that was not the biggest of his concerns, he thought, as he crossed that out of his mind.

Be careful out there, Suede. Jacob told him. To be human, you need both life and heart.

The heart you once knew is gone, he secretly thought as he disregarded Jacob's words, hiding his newly gained heart bullet gun, albeit an imperfect one, inside the shadows of his cloak. And even now, I never needed one.

Noir exited the door and was just about to go on his way.

"Brother!"

The familiar sound almost made Noir flinch. He turned and stared with his wide-eyed purple eyes the wheelchair bound girl before him, her beautiful yet astonished azure blue eyes staring back. Smoke white hair similar to his. Her familiar dress. Noir didn't know how to respond with the coincidental and sudden encounter with Sylvette, as they stood for endless moments locking their eyes at each other as the hour bells rang. He wondered if he could just run off now and hurry to his other matters; that won't do, he suddenly said, Sylvette would easily catch up being who she is. I'll knock her out, he thought again. No, I can't waste a valuable shot from the gun and attract unwanted attention, more or less make myself more of a wanted criminal. But above all, he felt something. Something beyond descriptive words. He found himself strangely attached to the girl before him, a longing feeling residing inside, wanting to stay with her even if it meant just a moment. Confusion surrounded him—why was he feeling like this?

Sylvette was also surprised by the sudden encounter. There he was, her brother, looking a bit dirty, staring at her with equally wide eyes. She now swam in her thoughts intently as her brother did, not knowing her brother had the same doubts surrounding him. What would he do now? He tried to murder Lag. He'd deceived her. He'd run away from her. What would he do next? Did he still care?

They ended up near a fountain a stone's throw away from the shop. Noir allowed the uncomfortable silence to fill in the space between them, interrupted only by the soothing sound of flowing water and the footsteps of the bypassers he glanced downward from the high place he was at, as he stared into space. His calm expression hid his nervousness as he felt his heartbeat intensifying slightly. He didn't know what to say, what he should say. Sylvette should be informed of my deception, he thought, and wondered what she now thought of him – family? Or a hateful person in her life out of the horrible things that he'd done?

"Oh, brother..." Sylvette's voice pierced his thoughts. "You disappearing so suddenly like that," Her voice was soft, a bit cheerful, but in all reassuring. She wasn't sad yet, and she hadn't let go as well. Forgiven of the terrible things he'd done to her. Noir found this a slightly good sign, but he knew he had to be honest with her one way or the other. "What a shock you gave me..."

She stopped for a moment, and the silence grew disturbing. Noir desperately hoped for her to say something, to build up the awkward conversation. Anything, he thought. What could he say?

"You are my brother." She began.

He found the courage to turn around at look at her, albeit hesitantly.

"Even if your heart doesn't return..." She continued. "You will always be my brother. Forever and always."

Noir's heart melted somewhere. Regardless of who he was now, Noir now knew that Sylvette letting go of Gauche Suede would never be easy, more or less even possible. How could he ever explain that to her? He felt the weighty responsibility fall on his shoulders as he stared into Sylvette's adorable blue eyes, filled with hope and plea. A faint smile adorned upon her face. She was expecting something. A response. An answer.

At least Noir began, turning away and looking downward, at nervousness and at awkwardness. "I am and can no longer..."

"Think of me as your sister?" She interrupted as she drove to his side, the smile gone from her tender face. Noir wondered if his expression had already revealed what he needed to say. "Is it true that it's impossible for you to live as Gauche Suede anymore?"

Yes, he thought. I am no longer the person you think of as your brother, and I doubt I can ever be. But he couldn't be that blunt, not ever. He found himself caring and sensible of Sylvette's feelings, and didn't want to reply with a heartbreaking answer. He wished he need not be honest with the heartbreaking truth. He found himself not wanting to sever another heart, especially not hers. But why? Why couldn't he just get this done and over with?

"I'm sorry." He replied, somewhat sheepishly. He thought his reply was terrible but secretly hoped it would suffice one way or the other. No matter how much others wanted him to be Gauche, he could not, and will not become him. But a part of Gauche still remained that got onto his serves and made him vulnerable to hesistance. How could I still care? He thought. How could he still...

Sylvette's expression drooped at Noir's response. The eyes sparkled as she noticed her brother's troubled expression, the azure colour dulling as the eyes struggled to keep the water in. Again an uncomfortable silence now formed an invisible wall between them as Sylvette drove to the fountain. Noir turned. He expected her to cry. To continuously beg of him to come back and never let her go. To witness the heart-melting anguish that he had inevitably caused her. He waited. Not a sign of shivering was present. Not even a sound from her.

"I see." She finally answered, firmly, startling Noir. His expressionless exterior hid his amazement and awe at Sylvette's smile as she continued. "I understand. After all, once you decide on something, you never change your mind, brother. It's the same way as you left for Akatsuki. I'm sure you have something important going on now..." The smile was mildly sour, but still clear.

He was utterly nonplussed. She could let go that easily? She would accept him as he is?

"But, you know?" The smile vanished, and she was now shivering. Noir hadn't anticipated wrongly. It was hard for her to accept it. He felt his heart ache slightly as he glanced at her fighting against her sadness and tears. He felt the unknown feeling making his chest uncomfortable and heavy but didn't let it show on his face, which still stood expressionless. He continued to watch her, silently answering her in his heart.

"I'll always...always...be your sister."

I thank you, Sylvette. Gauche would be happy.

"So if you ever feel like returning, you can come back anytime, got it?"

I will, and I am forever indebted.

"I'll make my soup and wait for you."

The warm taste will forever stay in my heart.

"So...so..."

Sylvette couldn't continue, and she was blaming herself for not being strong as she wanted to be. To accept her brother's change and get it done and over with. To at least show how much she still cared, without letting the sadness overtake her. But she had failed. She closed her eyes and could hear Noir approaching her. There was hope in her, that he would come back and return the love and affection she still had for him despite all that had happened. For them to be happy siblings again.

Noir squat down. Sylvette opened her eyes and faced her brother, expressionless as always. With a gentle move, Noir lunged at the saddened girl as he gave her the only thing he could for now – a hug. It was genuine, and Sylvette missed and for what was perhaps the last time she lay on her brother's warm shoulder, not caring about the dirtied clothes he was wearing, not minding the dampness of his clothes that was offset by the moment of irreplaceable warmth her brother had offered her.

"Thank you...Sylvette." It was a cry from the heart. It was simple and blunt, but true.

"Goodbye..." She breathed.

And Noir turned, never looking back. And as her brother left, she allowed a teardrop to drop on her delicate hands. Once. Twice. Before coming out in flowing rivers.

"Brother..." She couldn't resist any longer and allowed the fountain of salty, sorrowful tears to leak out. And as she looked at her brother's direction, he saw the white hair slowly diminishing into the darkness as the rest of the cloak blended into the shadows, vanishing.

Was that the last time she'd ever see him?

Was that the last time he'd ever see her?

Noir never looked back, afraid of the memories that would confound him. He was now surrounded by an array of emotions that were alien to him. His heart felt warm, yet a pang of guilt lingered inside. He felt terrible for doing that. For leaving his own sister...the mixture of emotions was indescribable. Regret. Longing.

Sadness.

A tear leaked from his purple eye, for the very first time. And for what seemed to be the first time in his life, he felt warmth. Compassion.

Love.

So this is what love is like, he thought. The warmth and compassion that links two people together, regardless of circumstance...

Noir wiped off the tear on his right eye, glancing at his dampened hand. Was it of sorrow? Was it of joy? Was he touched? Melancholy? That would be a question Noir would never know the answer to.

Thank you, my dear little sister... Noir thought as he would've sworn it was Gauche inside him that let out the words in his heart, allowing the final traces of the bittersweet moment to fade slowly and painfully as he headed out into his search.

Just a little something I decided to write up to pass and make up for the extremely long time I've been absent from Fanfiction. I genuinely loved this scene and always wanted to write about it, and well, I've finally motivated myself enough to take incentive. It's not the best, but I hope you all enjoy and reviews, favourites and of course comments are appreciated.

-YagamiNoir