Written in at least 2008, this was titled Pink Floyd in Fours for whatever reason. I found this on my journal complete with notes for additional chapters, and I have no idea what this really is. It seems to be a Brawl fic where Link pines after Snake or whatever. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING FIC HAD I COMPLETED IT. As it is, it stands nicely as a one-shot.
"…Did you watch the match yesterday?"
Link stared at her rather blankly as he held a tray filled with food, and they searched for an adequate spot for a hero and princess to sit. "What match?"
Her annoyance flowed evenly with her words. "The match between Fox, Ganondorf, and Olimar. …You missed it, didn't you!"
Rolling his eyes at her, he answered, "Zelda, there's gonna be plenty of matches to catch, and the tournament's not gonna end any time soon. None of the matches even count at this point, so it won't matter if I choose not to watch a few."
"True, but last night's was one of the better ones so far," the Hylian princess remarked. When her colleague-and-friend's disinterest was apparent, she crossed her arms and snapped, "Do you even care who won?"
He shrugged and went back to picking at his lunch. "It was a close one between Fox and Ganondorf?" Link guessed. While he wanted to believe that his friend easily won against the former Gerudo King, he had enough history with Ganondorf to know otherwise.
She smirked as the hero bit into a strange bread-meat sandwich, and immediately Link wondered what was up. Several seconds went by before he realized that she wasn't going to give until he asked: "So who won?"
A broad smile suddenly swept across Zelda's face, and she announced to him triumphantly, "Olimar!"
"What?" Link nearly spit out his food. "Seriously?"
"Yes, and I already told you it was one of the better ones so far, did I not? So, dear heart…what were you doing yesterday instead of watching one of the most absolutely sublime fights ever?"
The black hole, pulling him in against his will, had to exist somewhere close by. Why else would he be so drawn? – ha! – not an opening for cacophonous pixel formations! – fare thee well! His heart winced as he was chased away from the source of gravity. But maybe he wasn't entirely chased away by Mr. Game and Watch, who never managed to startle him before; maybe he was just jumpy. Maybe. And so he jumped back into the gravitational pull as the quirky, pixel mass moved on; he was there once more, so close this time. What was the event horizon like?, he wondered and drifted closer. He quickly found as he ended up on a balcony that the event horizon smelled like cigarettes – not a wholly terrible smell, either, as it contained a pleasurable scent as well that balanced things out. What the scent was, though, was hard to discern. He would have found out himself by crossing the point of no return, but a sudden nervousness forced him to observe the event horizon leaking cigarette smoke from a distance. Solid Snake acknowledged his presence with a nod, and Link gave a short wave in return.
"Oh, uh, nothing," Link responded, and Zelda gave him a disparaging look in return.
"It would be in your best interest, Link, to be there and watch my battle tonight – and don't you dare skip it for nothing, either!" While he had no intentions of missing it, she just looked so stern and serious that Link thought she might be genuinely angry with him. But then her lips cracked open a smile and revealed her mirth. "But really, I will murder you if you miss it!"
While Link laughed, thankful that she felt so comfortable around him to joke since their relationship had been strictly business-only for the longest of times, he secretly didn't doubt that she really would kill him.
He finished his lunch as she talked and gossiped with him like always. "Hey," he noticed eventually, "you didn't eat anything, did you? And your match is tonight… It isn't wise to skip a meal, Zelda."
She narrowed her eyes at him but then a nervousness cast over her face. "I'm…eating in a bit, actually. With…someone."
Link's lips slowly spread into a grin.
"I know what you're thinking," Zelda defended preemptively, "but it's not like that!"
"Ah, but you denying it before I even said anything proves that it is 'like that'!" Link reveled in her visual discomfort. "So spill! Who is it?"
Standing up in frustration, she exclaimed, "Oh what are we, a couple of little girls gossiping about everything on the playground?" Zelda was beginning to draw attention from other fighters around. "I refuse to kiss and tell!"
"I knew it!" and Link stood up to join her, though their height hardly matched. She practically towered over him, and Zelda was not a tall woman by any means.
They regarded each other with a sense of curiosity, and a tiny smirk from the princess before she left the cafeteria made Link wonder if she had revealed that on purpose…
- Not bad, and the ex-soldier's words echoed that sentiment. And he supposed he needed some practice, needed to practice placing a cylinder between his lips – suck and blow, suck and blow. It really wasn't so bad, actually. Suck and blow, suck and blow. He kind of liked it. Snake placed a glass ashtray that Link hadn't even noticed between them, and he supposed he resented the receptacle then for its position inside the event horizon – so close that Link could reach out and touch it if he hadn't left his courage back home. But it wasn't all bad because he needed it, too. Burning ash needed a place not on them to go; it needed a home, and he wasn't about to deny anything, inanimate or not, the benefit of a home. He watched the smoke swirl between them and up to dissipate. And there were more gaseous molecules, he supposed, than there were thoughts. Liking smoking more than thinking, Link decided he was going to see if he could overpower thought with smoke; he was just going to watch and want (for what he couldn't think, his thoughts in the air from a burning cigarette). He coughed once, but the other man (the most man) didn't seem to notice or mind – and was it because he was contributing to the competitive tally? Or, once in, could not even thought escape the event horizon? Suck and blow, suck and blow. Gas couldn't breach the threshold.
Inhale, exhale; inhale, exhale; inhale, inhale; exhale, exhale, exhale, exh-fortheloveoffarongetitout-ale.
"I think I like watching the matches in the lounge better than in the stadium," Link murmured in an almost whining tone. "The camera on TV always shows the coolest stuff. This is just boring."
"Well, if you actually pay attention to the match instead of whining about it and annoying everyone around you, you might enjoy it more," countered Link (t-the other one). "And I'm trying to keep up with the action, so complain to Samus, not me."
Beside the younger and a frog-hop away from the older, the bounty hunter kept her eyes on the game. "No, no, don't complain to Samus, kid."
"I should complain to both of you," Link (the younger) compromised.
"Or not at all," Samus murmured and gave a threatening, sidelong glance to the little boy.
He quickly cleared his throat and tapped his older brother (himself once removed from the timeline, but that was a difficult thing to explain to everyone else, so they settled on being siblings), engrossed in the match, on the shoulder. "Hey, who do you guys want to win?"
"Pikachu," Samus answered rather quickly, and then she added, "but…I'd really lo-like it if, ah, Zelda won, too."
The older Link shrugged. "I dunno. I like them all."
Nodding, the younger Link agreed with the woman beside him: "Yeah, I want Zelda to win. …But I don't think she will."
"Well, Olimar won last night, so anything can happen."
Samus briefly shook her head, eyes still on the fighters, and commented, "Despite his size and the fact that he uses those little pikmin things, Olimar isn't a pushover like some of you guys think – make that mistake in attitude and I can guarantee that you'll lose to him just as Fox and Ganondorf did... But Zelda, she's going to lose pretty soon. She's wearing out, and Marth's too fast for her. You can tell she's having a hard time keeping up with him, Pikachu, and Snake. …I'm actually a little pissed that the roster was so unbalanced."
"It's not really unbalanced! I mean, look at last ni–" A harsh glance traveled from Samus' eyes and blocked the rest of the boy's words.
Link simply shrugged, oblivious to the seats beside him. "I wasn't really paying attention. …I think Snake's doing pretty we–aaaaand she's out."
His brother winced. "Ouch, wow, that looked harsh. She's going to be mad at Mar–" Samus interrupted the boy in the brief pause in action following the princess' drop by getting up to leave. "Hey," he said, "where are you going?"
"To, uh…to see how Zelda is," she answered and left.
Chuckling softly to himself, Link murmured, "He's even smoking in the pause…"
It took until much later in the match for him to realize that his other self had skipped out long ago in boredom.
He watched as Snake rolled the ignition dial with a quick flick of his thumb again and again, each time yielding no luck or love. But it was hardly as fascinating as how he affectionately nestled an unlit cigarette between his head and ear – to be held so tightly in a tender embrace! In frustration, the man (the man man, that was, though, suspicious tunic aside, the Hylian felt like quite the man as well) tossed the lighter over the balcony edge, and when he pierced his fingers through the gaseous molecules twice to beckon Link closer, he felt that Snake must have pierced the event horizon as well. And it was that intense, gravitational pull that drew him closer, dreaming of being on the verge of crossing the threshold; the American (though that description meant nothing to Link) removed the cigarette from its loving nest and put it to his lips. The tips of their sticks touched, one red and burning, the other not – but soon it was; once it was over and Snake leaned back, satisfied, Link felt like he was slingshot from the horizon back to a vapid oblivion of gas. Of course he didn't land far from the black hole and soon enough felt himself falling in closer.
-
"What's with the strange outcome upsets this week?" the younger hero asked idly as they sat in relative silence at a restaurant shortly after the match, awaiting drinks and a meal.
Samus shook her head and scoffed, "Guns, swords, and brute strength hardly ensure the victor. I'm not surprised that alternative styles are catching the upper hand in battle…"
"I need an electrical attack like Pikachu," Zelda murmured as she folded her napkin various ways, though she seemed largely disinterested in even that, "especially if I fight against someone like you again, Snake…"
Distaste for the idea was evident on his face, and so he elbowed the older Link: "Remind me to shock-proof my equipment for next time."
"Pikachuuuuu," the younger one giggled as he licked his finger and made a beeline for his brother's ear; Link quickly swat the littler hand away and sighed a reluctant affirmative.
Falco flew in as the bearer of Good Things and graciously offered the gaseous molecule contributors a beer each before making his way on down to another destination – preferably jetting to another black hole, though Link did appreciate the alcohol even if he had never had a real chance before to drink. Fortunately Snake produced a bottle-opener from one of his hooks or pouches (Link wouldn't pretend to know which as he was always too busy staring at the tight fabric between) and opened both bottles with a resounding pop! and another pop! It was just as well since Link wouldn't know what to do with a closed bottle anyway. They drank up piss masquerading as liquid glory, and when it was gone Link felt his thoughts slosh through mud – so he smoked another cigarette to even the atmospheric score, the nearness of lighting off Snake's stick more intoxicating than the alcohol could ever be. He physically drew closer, for who was he to resist universal principles? Cigarettes, alcohol, and Snake could very well become a pleasant habit.
Drinks arrived relatively soon thereafter, and Zelda was first to propose: "A toast…to meeting new friends."
"And having new experiences," the older Link added as four of them put their glasses together with a chorus of clinks.
"This is bullshit," the young hero muttered as he sulked in his chair. "I got juice, not alcohol!"
"It's 'cause you're underage, kid," Samus answered and drank a mouthful of beer.
"Yeah, well," he argued, "I've been sailing with pirates for a long time! I know how to handle my liquor!"
Zelda sighed, "It's unfortunate you have no proper supervision back home. In civilized society, you are far too young to drink, Link."
"This is such bullshit!"
"And please don't swear."
Scowling as he stood up (his shoulders barely reaching above the table), Link provoked, "Bullshit! Bullshit! Gay, gay bullsh–" until his older self slapped the back of his head and told him to stop.
"Sit down and drink your goddamn juice, kid!" Snake commanded, and, startled, the boy complied as he took a few sips for his cup; he had to force himself not to drink the entire glass, though, so he wouldn't belie the fact that juice was his favorite.
While Zelda gave the man a disapproving glance, Link chuckled and then felt Snake's knee rest against the side of his leg. He tensed for a moment, deciding on if it was an accident or not, and took a large swallow of spiked tea; finally he decided he didn't really care and leaned into the touch.
-
Gas couldn't breach the event horizon, but perhaps liquid would.
(notes: liquid – alcohol
[drinking, "moment" is when Link slips and tries to kiss him?]
1: Gym: Before a match, Zelda reveals "Sheik" to Link, Link gets angry that she hadn't done it before and that she feels she has to hide behind a male alter-ego to be seen as stronger. Go into gender identification and Zelda wanting to be more like Samus who has a neutral exterior (suit), and people only assume she's male because of hetero-normality.
2: Lunch: After match, talk between at least Link, Snake, Samus, and Zelda about it and Zelda's new partial Sheikah identity – what it means for her sexuality about disguising herself as a guy. Zelda maintains there is no connection, but Samus flirts with the idea, and after a sexist comment by Link, Samus attacks his outfit, questioning his sexuality. Link admits matter-of-factly (have him gloss over it like he just said he likes pancakes over hash browns) that he is gay, but his outfit doesn't have anything to do with it. Also, Link's total lack of the proverbial gaydar and his complete inability to distinguish others' sexuality.
– very glossed over near beginning, middle, or end: Red is tired of being called Pokemon Trainer and a color and tries to assert himself as separate yet equal to his Pokemon – attempts to garner suggestions for a new name.
- speculate about solid succeeding where liquid failed in last italicized line
solid – gift
[scent, being physically close to Snake in a tight area(?) - Snake wanting to spy on Samus and Zelda, dragging Link along -, "moment" is when Link tries very hard to not to bury his nose and lick the spot where Snake's sandalwood cologne is strongest]
1: Marth's Room: Link consults Marth (who's married) about the gift that says "I don't want to seem excessively gay in case you don't like me, but here's a gift to let you know I'm thinking of you, and I know you're straight, but I really kind of like you in that gay sort of way". Marth tells him to get something thoughtful that will always remind Snake of Link.
2: Smashville: Odds'n'Ends shop, Link is completely confused as to what to get until he smells sandalwood (Virgin Mary) which brings back memories of that "moment".
3: Snake's Room: Link gives sandalwood Virgin Mary car freshener – after brief talk about religion and what Link meant by the gift, Snake says he's straight…but is not opposed to having sex with a guy he respects and admires. Link argues that he'd like Snake to WANT (in general – not him…at the time). Snake replies that just because he's unopposed doesn't mean that he doesn't want it. – refine this bit of exchange and logic. Awkward moment at the end until Link re-finds his courage and kisses Snake.
- fire/lightning/other-plasma-shit references in last italicized line
plasma – j-j-j-jizz?! Sexual electricity?
[touch, "moment" is a sex scene – concentrate on masculinity and all the reasons why LinkxSnake is just win]
1: Lunch: Snake and Link eat together, simply, with Zelda, Samus, and Toon Link at first. Toon Link implies that Link had some sort of sexual encounter last night[?]. Zelda or Samus mention that it's good Link found someone to love and leave.
- hesitantly , Link: "Who said anything about love?" – talk? – Snake: "Don't you know that it's different for girls?" – Snake continues to interject Joe Jackson until Link realizes that Snake has a private joke goin' on, at which point it has progressed so that Snake is pleased with the result)
- who the fuck is the surgeon general?