Title: Lost in Lórien – Chapter 1
Author: Nevoreiel (lamort_noir@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Lucius/??
Rating: R just to be safe, very questionable behaviour, snogging going on between two males *winkwink* and maybe something a little more, language. That about sums it up. This is actually for later chapters.
Summary: HP & LOTR Crossover – Lucius Malfoy needs a vocation so he takes one and ends up unwittingly in the woods of Lothlorien. There he meets the Guardians of Lorien and they take him deep into the forest. There the Lady of the Wood proposes a compromise.
Disclaimer: The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The outrageous storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling and J.R.R Tolkien would never write such horrible stories. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this? If you really want to sue me talk to me when I actually have some money. Also this is not meant to be taken seriously in any way, it's part humor for a reason.
Warning: This story is SLASH (male/male relationship), nothing much, yet; the R rating is not for a very good reason. :)
Archive: My website: http://www21.brinskter.com/fracturedprose and any other website that wants it, jus tell me about it so I'm aware of it.
Notes: Alright, this is a new step for me. I've never done any sort of crossover fan fiction so let us see how well I can write it. This is a crossover between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. There is no particular time set on the story but to be more specific let's say that Draco is in his 6th year at Hogwarts and looking at the Lord of the Rings timeline it's after the fellowship has left Lothlorien. There are many strange things happening in the story and they were meant. This does not mean that I hate either fandom in fact I adore both. I tried to keep all the characters as much in character as I could but you'll notice that there are many differences. It's 3rd point of view and it actually contains a plot.
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Lucius Malfoy prided himself on his icy self-control. It has been some time now since he has lost his temper and who wouldn't have lost their temper if his only son found his only father wearing hair curlers in a fetching blue color. But that was then and this is now and Draco Malfoy, the decidedly arrogant son of our antihero, hadn't learned much from that incident.
This time however he walked in on his father while the elder Malfoy was taking a very nice and long bath. Just knowing about these two incidents you'd think that the Malfoy house contained only one bathroom when in reality it had at least a dozen, it wasn't called the Malfoy mansion for nothing.
Stuttering and making very strange contortions with his facial features the unfortunate Draco slowly bowed out of the lavish bathroom. Lucius was none too pleased about it and was even less pleased with having to cut his bath short in order to reprimand his son.
1 hour later…
"Now, Draco, as you see it fit to constantly interrupt my…more private moments," Lucius was clam and poised as always but there was a certain malicious glint in his eyes, "I see it fit to stop supplying you more of your hair gel."
Draco blinked a few times before falling to his knees and letting out a long tortured "Noooooooooo!"
Now anyone in their sensible mind would think this a very, very light punishment indeed but for poor Draco this was one of the worst sentences he's had the displeasure of hearing in his very short life.
"But father you know what happens when I don't use my hair gel…" Draco faltered and looked expectantly to see if his father knew. Lucius certainly knew but why give the boy any leeway, better to make him suffer and crawl. "Father…?" a silence followed which did not make anything easier for poor Draco, "It gets all wispy and…," a sob escaped Draco's lips and in one short breath like throwing a book at the wall in despair he said, "girly!"
Lucius' lips twitched and he was very tempted to smile at his son's very obvious distress but that would be cruel. So instead he chuckled evilly and with an imperious look he swished his way out of his son's room.
At dinner that night Draco was very miserable and it grinded on Lucius' nerves to hear the occasional sniffle coming from Draco's end of the table. Narcissa Malfoy, the lady of the manor was not very helpful either but talked an awful lot about finally choosing the right color for the drawing room carpet which she had completely ruined by accidentally spilling at least a pint of her very potent perfume. Although Lucius was fairly sure that it was just a small hint that she wished the carpet changed immediately.
The last straw was Narcissa actually having the audacity to ask Lucius' opinion on the color of the new carpet.
Throwing down his napkin in disgust Lucius arose from the table, noticeably glowering at his family, "I've had enough of your chatter and incompetence. I am in great need of a holiday!" after the announcement he stalked out of the dining hall. It was time to make some very important visits to arrange all the details.
The next day…
After having double checked all his baggage, and there were three suitcases of it too, you can never be too careful, Lucius was ready. Lucius was rather excited about the prospects of this trip. He had specifically told his travel agent that he did not want to pick a destination and that rather the agent himself pick something suitable for Mr. Malfoy.
Stroking his serpent cane he contentedly thought of what awaited him on his vocation spot.
With a pop a small wizard appeared cowering before the might of Lucius. "All is ready Mr. Malfoy. Are you ready to leave?"
"Of course I'm ready to leave, I have been for the last 10 minutes and I do not like to be kept in suspense." His face was twisted into an unpleasant expression.
"Very sorry for such a delay Mr. Malfoy, it shall not happen again." The travel agent was ready to kiss Lucius' boots, granted they were very nice boots but it would be going a bit low.
"You make sure it doesn't or I will. Now quit babbling like a fool that you are and give me the coordinates!"
The poor travel agent handed over a scrap of parchment trembling from head to foot. Scrutinizing the coordinates Lucius' face twisted in disbelief, "What kind of coordinates are these? I've never seen more perfect nonsense!"
"No, no, it's all correct, just follow all the directions and you'll reach the spot." The little wizard nodded to reinforce the point.
Lucius looked the wizard over suspiciously and then decided to take the little risk of apparating to an unknown location. After all he was a qualified wizard and there could be nothing there that could overpower his wand.
Finally making up his mind he quickly dismissed the travel agent and gathering his suitcases close to him concentrated on the coordinates listed. He disappeared with a pop and reappeared in what appeared to be the edge of a very big forest. There seemed nothing else but tress and grass around for miles. Lucius was not happy.
With a sigh he thought about his options. Either he could apparate back and torture the travel agent for giving him wrong directions or he could go into the forest and see just what that little wizard had been thinking of when he sent Lucius here. Of course the second option was a bit more adventurous and Lucius did not want to be regarded as a scared wizard. He was the one who usually inspired fear in others.
That was settled then; Lucius would venture into the forest and see what secrets it held. He shrank the suitcases in order to keep them safe in his cloak pocket and started of.
The forest as it turned out wasn't so bad except for the very poor lightning of its interior but the blue light did flatter Lucius' features. The trees that grew here were enormous and the whole forest breathed with magic, Lucius was taking a liking to it.
He was studying the strange leaves under one of the trees when suddenly and out of nowhere he was surrounded. At least half a dozen sharp arrows pointed at him.
Surprised and a little unnerved – he hadn't known that there were inhabitants in this particular forest – he smiled shakily and raised his hands to placate the newcomers, "Now don't be hasty."
A tall gentleman stepped forward and regarded Lucius with careful eyes, they were very nice blue eyes, Lucius noted. The stranger did have a horrible sense of style though; grey did not suit him at all. But to Lucius' surprise the stranger had hair very similar to his own. Now here was a man he could talk to. "How do you do? I am Lucius Malfoy and I'm afraid there's been a small misunderstanding." He got no response but was thoroughly looked up and down.
Lucius was getting a bit impatient when the man before him finally spoke, slowly, but it was English, "I am Haldir of Lórien and you have ventured into the wood of the Lady."
"So sorry, I had no idea. I could leave right this moment if you'd like. Although it would be helpful if you pointed me in the right direction." He was still smiling courteously. Maybe this little situation could be resolved without violence after all.
"I'm afraid not, you have entered the forest and now you cannot go back without meeting Galadriel, Lady of Light. She will decide your fate." Haldir of Lórien seemed very adamant about the matter.
"But surely something can be worked out…" meanwhile Lucius was very carefully taking out his wand. To his dismay someone must have noticed because next thing he knew his sleeve was attached to the trunk of a nearby tree by an arrow. "Wait just a minute, I can sue you for this, you know?"
He was regarded strangely and with a small gesture of Haldir's hand one of the men stepped forward with a strip of cloth and reached out in order to tie it around Lucius' eyes. At this moment Mr. Malfoy thought about doing something drastic but thought better of it, he couldn't risk another hole in his expensive robes. His sleeve was freed from the arrow and a soft cloth covered his eyes. To Mr. Malfoy's disappointment his walking stick was taken away.
For all Lucius knew they were leading him to the devil himself but he saw nothing of course and the walk was making him exhausted. Haven't these savages ever heard of cars, even Muggles have those? What surprised Lucius immensely is that he never stumbled, not even once. Must have been his luck.
One minute they were walking the next he was jarred as they stopped, his blindfold was taken of and Lucius was very glad for it. The sight was interesting enough but he still did not understand the deal with all the blue lights.
Lucius blinked a few times to get used to the eerie light and was almost blinded by something very bright; he could not make out what this brightness was at first. As his eyes adjusted he saw a breathtaking sight, a lady all in white was standing before him, her hand was resting on a man's hand, probably her husband, Lucius reasoned.
She regarded him calmly, "I have seen your coming, Lucius Malfoy, and you are welcome here as long as you agree to certain terms." Her voice was just as calm as her appearance and she gazed at him steadily making Mr. Malfoy more uncomfortable than anybody has succeeded in making him.
"I will only agree to these terms if I find them suitable after I've heard them." Lucius said, trying to retain his haughty demeanor before the Lady of the Wood as he guessed her to be.
A trace of small smile appeared on the lady's face, "Of course, let us talk in a more private place." She majestically swept a hand in welcome and said something softly to her companion but Lucius could not understand a word.
A little mesmerized, he followed the stately lady and soon enough they were standing in a glade with a carved stone bench. But the lady did not sit down so Lucius thought it polite to stand as well.
"Now, about these terms…" Lucius said slowly.
The lady smiled softly, "As you wish Lucius," Mr. Malfoy let that slip by and who wouldn't, "Now of what I must speak is of the outmost importance to me. I will let you return to your own world if you agree to stay in Lothlorien for a brief spell."
"Might I ask for what purpose?" this did not sound too wholesome to Lucius' ears but then he must not have heard too many wholesome things.
"So we may learn something of your world and also there is sadness in these woods that I think you may repair if you are willing enough."
Lucius was very surprised to hear such things said about him and his ego swelled a bit more. But to his utter irritation Haldir stepped into the glade and silently bowed to the Lady.
"Haldir will be your guide and guard during your stay in Lothlorien. Do not stray from his side." With a nod Galadriel dismissed them both.
To be Continued…
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A/N: Do I even want to ask for reviews? Beside that question that's haunting me – review away. Just as a side note, the story is escaping my grasp and evolving into something bigger, so we'll see how that goes. Next chapter, I have still to write it, is to be expected no later then January 7th, 2003. I've realized that there is no way I could have it complete by January 5th, sorry.