I don't really know where this one came from. I remember I read several Kyuubi-powerups-Naruto-fics and this was the feeling I got left with.

Yes, there's a reference to a certain Star Wars game. This chapter is v2, fixed up in July 2006.

Naruto was, all of a sudden, directly addressed by the tenant inside his head.

"Listen up, meatbag," growled the fox demon. "After careful consideration, I've decided to impart you with all of my strength and knowledge for no apparent reason."

"What!" Naruto yelped in surprise. "I thought you hated my guts! Come to think of it, up until now you've never even contacted me like this!"

"Shut up. From now on you will wake up at 2 am every morning and train until midnight," said the Kyuubi. "During your two hours of sleep I can use a special Jutsu to slow down time so that you can train for two more full days before waking up."

"All right..." answered Naruto at length. "But if you can do that, wouldn't it be better for me to stay asleep all the time?"

"What did I tell you about shutting up, meatbag? After we're finished, you'll have more Chakra than the rest of the world put together. It won't do to have my representative stay this weak."

Naruto gave a resigned sigh. For the next two and half weeks he trained rigorously, obtaining unprecendented strength and shinobi ability.

"My, you've grown so sexy and powerful during our training."

"Thanks, Kicchan," Naruto responded with a face-splitting grin. "I never could have done it without you!"

"Let me reveal my true form to you."

Kyuubi transformed from the menacing giant fox into a buxomly filled, red-haired, furry queen girl - more beautiful than any female Naruto had ever seen in his life.

"My kitling prince, would you agree to court me for the evening?" asked the foxy girl with her low, sensual voice.

"Whoa!" shouted Naruto in surprise, "You're like, a total megababe! Definitely didn't see that one coming..."

"Ohh! Just take me, you wild thing."

"I'd never have guessed you were a smoking hot girl, what with that old man speech and voice you always used."

"Originally I was supposed to look like a cat, but another show stole the idea... Damned sword clowns."

"I'm gonna cream my pants right now, so please do something about it!"

Just as Naruto started to fully enjoy the benefits of a hot girl going down on him, Orochimaru and the Akatsuki invaded Leaf.

"Aww crap, anytime but now!"

"You can fight them now, my kitling prince. You've gained enough strength to be at approximately 10.37 times the level of the random Sennin of the human world."

Naruto nodded in agreement and went to confront the invaders.

"Naruto-kun," said Itachi.

"Kyuubi brat," said Orochimaru.

"I'm going to kick your asses!" shouted Naruto, hoping no one would notice he wore his orange jacked inside out.

Tsunade and Kakashi and Sakura and the rest of the gang watched from the sidelines.

"Do you think we should give him a hand?" asked Sakura. "I mean, he's just Naruto and all, and that's Uchiha Itachi..."

"Orochimaru..." growled Tsunade.

"Maa maa, don't sweat it, we'll see what Naruto can do before that," drawled Kakashi, his nose buried deep in the orange book.

Naruto defeated everyone but Itachi and Orochimaru in two seconds.

"Oh My God!" said Tsunade, her head awhirl. "Was that the Secret Style of the Farting Baboon?"

"Yes I believe it was, the lost style rumoured only to be known by the late Fourth Hokage," said Jiraiya.

"Oh My God! Now he's using the Hidden Arts of the Order of Phallus!" Sakura screeched, as Naruto engaged the two last criminal nins.

"Not to mention, he knows still about five hundred billion other styles and arts considered lost by your dim-witted standards."

"Ah, it all makes sense now," said Tsunade, "but who the heck are you?"

"Talking to me, meatbag?" Kyuubi-chan answered. "I'm a... very special friend of Naruto's."

"Wooow, hold the horses! Stop the press! Who do we have here? Just - who - do - we - have - here?" Jiraiya exclaimed to the young girl with assets enough to bring even Tsunade to shame. "I don't believe we've ever been 'introduced' properly..."

"Er, keep your eyes to the fight, meatbag, and there will be no unnecessary casulties."

"It's so nice Naruto has made some new friends!" Tsunade clapped her hands together with a beaming smile.

Meanwhile Naruto finished wiping the floor with Itachi and Orochimaru, and dragged a beaten up Sasuke by his leg behind him.

"Look what I found," Naruto said to the group. "He kind of wanted to kill Itachi, but he'll never get to do it now. Oh well, at least he can have a shot at a new life he'll botch up just like the previous one."

Kyuubi walked up to Naruto and snogged him good against the nearest wall. They came out for air several minutes later, and Tsunade had the chance to ask, "Naruto! What exactly is this... highly suspicious girl to you?"

"Tsunade-baachan, this is the Kyuubi. We're going to elope right now and escape from the village, since no one will ever understand our forbidden love."

"She is WHAT?"

"I have reason to believe you heard it correctly, meatbag."

"Naruto, don't you have any sense of reason left in your head? We will never stand for this kind of thing!"

"I just got an idea for a new novel..." muttered Jiraiya, as he jogged off with a lecherous grin.

Kakashi scratched his head as he snapped his book shut, and said, "Did I miss something?"

"Sasuke-kun!" yelled Sakura over his prone body.

The rest of the gang picked their noses.

"Well all right, we stand for it then. But don't you understand, the rest of the villagers will never approve of you two!" Tsunade tried to make the couple see her point. Besides, she was better looking than some furry bitch.

"Meh, details," quipped Naruto, and pinned his favourite demon fox against the wall and his lips.