Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling. That is not me.
A/N: I have recently edited this story and its second chapter and as you can tell, reposting them. I have edited according to some comments from lovely reviewers, and I sincerely apologise for the delay in chapter posting. I have found that I have less time as the holidays go on…
Anyway, here is the newly edited Nothing but Decisions for you all.
Love, Smitty.
Rose Weasley watched as her cousin and best friend Albus Potter paced furiously back and forth in front of her.
Her eyes traced his movements lazily, watching as he gestured emphatically whilst saying something she didn't really care to hear.
He halted, and then turned to face her expectantly.
"Well?" he asked.
She stared blankly at him, not knowing what to say because she had no idea what he had been rambling about, but then she heard a snigger from beside her, and elbowed the culprit sharply in the ribs.
"Rosie Posie, you wound me so..."
She glared at him for the blatant use of her least favourite nickname, even though her traitorous heart fluttered at the sound of his throaty chuckle, but she recovered beautifully and then reprimanded him. "I told you not to call me that. And, is it necessary to laugh at everything I do, Malfoy? Is it?"
He imitated the confused look she had used just moments before and said, "Why, yes, Rosie Posie, I do believe it is necessary."
"Ugh." She grunted and turned to face her cousin. "Okay, Al. What were you saying? I wasn't really listening."
"Oh my God, Rose. I was saying how it was the stupidest thing in existence that you and Scorp don't get along."
She scoffed. "We don't like each other, that's all there is to it! Nothing will ever change that." She looked to Scorpius for back-up, and he nodded voraciously, his silver bangs flying into his stormy eyes. God, she wished her heart would slow down enough for it not to be heard from Canada. "Oh, and it would be the most stupid thing in existence, if it was even a valid statement."
"Big words, Posie, big words. Get out those grammar guns..." Scorpius jibed, prodding her in the side in an effort to annoy her. Another flutter.
"Just because you can't comprehend the English language effectively enough to hold civilised conversations..." she retorted as she stood up to move away from him.
"See?" Albus half-yelled.
"No, I don't see! And you know why I don't see? Because there is nothing to see!" she half-yelled back, now producing exaggerated arm movements herself. She plopped back down on the couch and said, "What do you see, Albus? Pray tell, why do you think this one-" she jabbed a finger in Malfoy's direction, "- and I could ever become friends?"
"Because you are exactly the same!" Albus exclaimed after a moment's deliberation.
This time it was Scorpius that retaliated. "I beg to differ! I have nothing in common with that red-headed, freckly... thing. And I never will!" He laughed at Albus' proclamation and Rose's grunt-slash-scoff, although it seemed rather watery.
God. Isn't that just a kick in the pants? Now all of her brilliant plans to reveal her true feelings for her cousin's best friend had flown out the window, carried delicately on his hurtful words. And she thought they were getting along swimmingly as of late.
Serious! She honestly had thought that they were well on their way to become at least friends.
They barely argued anymore, and had managed to hold a civilised conversation more than once. The first conversation was a momentous occasion, as you most undoubtedly realise.
And now, well, now it felt like she had been rolled under a bull-dozer. She couldn't breathe properly and it felt like the air around her was crushing her inwards.
"Hey... Rose! Rosie!" Albus shook her gently, and Scorpius asked from his new position near the fireplace, "What's up with her?"
"I'm fine," she answered for him. Standing up and trying not to break down in tears, she said, "I'm going to go to bed."
"Hey, are you sure you are okay?" Albus asked, a little worried at her sudden change of demeanour. He was the only person who knew about Rose's feelings for his best friend, and had been unsuccessfully attempting to push them together ever since. The tears he saw well up in her eyes were evidence enough of the hurt that Scorpius' words had inflicted.
Rose only nodded sullenly and trudged dejectedly up the stairs to her private room, her only solace at times like this.
Albus watched her go with sadness on her features, and when he was sure that she was safely out of hearing range, he turned on Scorpius and hissed, "What is your problem?! Why would you say something like that about her?"
Scorpius put his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Woah, chill. I didn't mean anything by it. It was a joke, man, a joke!"
Albus growled. Scorpius' eyebrows disappeared into the flaxen hair adorning his head, and he asked, "Seriously, Al. What's wrong with what I said? She takes everything too seriously, you know that..."
"Hardly a convincing argument, Scorp." He plonked himself down on the couch, and swung his legs over the arms so he was lying down.
"What is her issue, Al? She knows that she should take everything I say with a grain of salt. I don't mean half of what I say, she knows that... We were just becoming friendly..." he mused.
"Exactly! And by saying what you did, you insinuated that all her efforts of trying to make nice with you were fruitless. You made it seem like you wanted nothing to do with her, kind of... That she meant nothing..." Albus trailed off.
"Oh..." was his undignified response.
"Oh, indeed, my friend." Albus smirked, though it turned into a grimace as he stood up. "And now, I will take my leave, so you can sort this out on your own. A little advice: deal with the issue quickly, don't let it fester. It's real bad when it festers..."
Scorpius gulped, then whimpered a little. He could imagine exactly what he meant – he had been a member of the audience witnessing one of her outbursts one summer when he had stayed at the Potters, and it was not pretty.
"Well? What are you waiting for? Go and make amends!" Albus exclaimed, pushing the blonde boy up the stairwell.
"Okay, okay! I'm going!" He slapped his friend's hands away.
Albus nodded, and bid him good luck, before sauntering out of the porthole, smirking.
It was exactly how he had planned it to go...
Back in the Heads Dorm, Scorpius stood outside Rose's bedroom door, hand poised to knock. His conscience was screaming at him to "hurry up and tell her you're sorry", but his pride was standing in the way.
Suddenly, the maroon door was pulled open and a sniffling Rose ran head first into his shocked, tense and incredibly remorseful self.
"Oh, it's you..." she said, wiping her eyes furiously, trying to remove all evidence of her tears. Why did he have to be the one she was stuck on? Why couldn't it have been a nicer, more caring person... Someone like, I don't know, Aidan Finnegan or Elijah Thomas? She was sure that the Gods had it in for her, because everything to do with the boy in front of her ended up hurting her in some way, shape or form.
"Yeah... Look, Rose, I'm sorry about what I said. I honestly didn't think you would take it the way you did..."
What? Why did he only apologise now? Well, no. She wasn't going to accept his half-hearted apology. No way, no how.
Rose's eyes hardened significantly and she retorted, "Oh, cause I'm not like every other girl, right? I wouldn't feel things that other girls feel, is that what you're saying?" He tried to correct himself, but she interrupted by holding up her hand in front of his face. She shook her head sadly. "And I honestly thought we could be friends. Have a nice life, Scorpius."
Then she walked away. She walked away! How could she walk away from him? An odd sense of rejection welled up in him and he suppressed the urge to slink against the wall, instead choosing to return to his own room.
Sitting on his bed, he mulled over the events of the afternoon – especially what he intended to be the "reconciliation conversation."
She'd said, "Have a nice life..."
What did that mean? It couldn't mean.. Surely! How could she not talk to him for the rest of their lives. It just would not do.. They were almost friends!
He sat for a little while, trying to figure out a way to make her understand, to reconcile – but it was to no avail. He flopped backwards on the bed and put his forearm on his forehead, hoping the slight pressure would relieve him of a headache that he could definitely feel forming behind his eyes.
Rose stalked through the corridors, slamming people into the stone walls, asking for the whereabouts of "that prat, Albus Severus Potter."
She didn't care that it was almost curfew, and she certainly didn't pay any attention to the disapproving and disgusted looks people gave her as she barged them out of the way.
A small group of third and fourth years suddenly crowded the hallway, and having had enough of rude people for the rest of her life, she shouted, "Get out of this hallway before I deduct every single house point you have!"
They scurried away, muttering things like, "Geez, who spit in her pumpkin juice?" and "Gosh, PMS, much?"
She saw a shock of black, messy hair disappear around the corner after the group had cleared out and almost instantaneously took after it. Rounding the corner, she sped up and called out, "Al, wait!"
Albus Potter turned around, recognized her, smiled sheepishly, chuckled nervously, coughed to cover it up and then said, "I wasn't running away from you..." in a tiny voice that suggested that what he said was the complete opposite from the truth.
"Liar."
Silence fell between the two cousins for a while.
Albus desperately needed to ask her how it had gone with Scorpius, but refrained until Rose deemed things awkward enough to speak.
"So..."
"How'd it go with Scorp?" he blurted out, instantly regretting his lack of tact when Rose's face turned slightly more red than normal, and her eyes glazed over with tears.
"How'd it go? How'd it go? How do you think it went? He insulted me, saying I was weird compared to other girls and that I don't feel things!"
"Wait, wait, wait... Did he actually say that, or did you assume he meant that?" he said, already knowing the answer. "You know when you assume..."
"You make an ass out of you and me, I know." She finished for him. Suddenly her features seemed to droop and he could see the realization spreading over her. "Oh, God! I assumed he meant that, and he probably didn't, and know I've wrecked everything, and he'll never want to talk to me again, and I'll die an old lady in a dingy old house with only my seventy-nine cats for company!"
"Seventy-nine... Very detailed, Rose."
"You know what I mean! He's the only boy I've ever like this much, Al!" she wailed. "What do I do?"
"Um...." He stood there waiting patiently, while she began to pace back and forth, seemingly forgetting that she was currently in the middle of the corridor and was shouting at the top of her lungs only seconds before.
"I can't just act like it never happened, that would make me seem like a psycho..." she mused. "I know! I'll have to ignore him from now on... It goes with my parting words, I guess..."
"Your parting words?"
She hummed. "Yeah, I said: Have a nice life, Scorpius."
Albus shook his head and said, "Whatever, but I don't honestly think that's the best course of action in a situation like this..."
"What do you suggest I do then, Albus, huh?"
He simply shrugged. "I don't know... But I have a detention with Uncle Snape, and I'm already late, so I better be going."
He turned sharply, leaving Rose standing alone in the corridor gaping at the space he had previously occupied.
She mused as she walked back to her dorm, wondering why she had so viciously lashed out at Scorpius, and more importantly, why she had misinterpreted him so easily. It was obvious, in her mind at least, that the reason was insecurity. Her... appreciation of Scorpius' body... and personality... and wit... and laugh... and beautiful eyes that she could stare into for years.... God, she was in far too deep. Anyway, it was her insecurity when it came to all things regarding the opposite gender. She wasn't beautiful by any stretch of the imagination, and she was socially awkward around most people... The only thing she could truly rely on was her intelligence, and the type of girls that Scorpius had dated in previous years weren't exactly the smartest crayon in the box.
By this time, she had wound up right in front of the portrait that opened up to the dorm. She muttered "Blubbering Nitwits" and climbed through. She was happy that Scorpius wasn't there, it made avoiding him all the more easy.
She stumbled wearily up the stairs and pushed open her bedroom door, barely making to the bed before she fell asleep.
The next morning, both Heads woke at around the same time, and both decided that they would like to take a shower first thing in the morning.
Rose sleepily walked into the adjoining bathroom, only to find it so foggy that she couldn't see her hand right in front of her face. Suddenly, a large amount of fog was expelled at her face, and with her eyes closed, she waved her hand around manically, clearing the thick fog as much as possible.
She walked blindly and blushed in embarrassment when she ran into the wall. She stepped back quickly, and emitted a high pitched squeal when she lost her footing on the wet tiles. She braced herself for the inevitable impact her head would make with the hard ground, but only felt a thin, sinewy arm snake its way around her waist and pull her into a standing position.
She opened her eyes cautiously and a new blush crept all the way to her hairline at the bare, chiselled stomach and chest that her eyes were directly in line with. She couldn't breathe again, so she wrestled her way out of where she was held so firmly in Scorpius' arms – oh, how she loved the sound of that – and fled, but not before muttering a small thanks to the confused boy, standing there in a towel.
She placed her hands on her cheeks and turned them over a couple of times in a fruitless attempt to reduce the flush that had taken up residence on her face.
Forgoing the shower for the morning, she quickly dressed for the Hogsmeade trip that took place every second Saturday. Making her escape quickly, she practically ran out of the dormitory and to the front gate, where she was meeting Albus.
Once she had arrived, panting slightly, she stood on her tip-toes to look for the tell-tale black hair that would alert her to Albus' whereabouts. She saw it, and forced her way through the crowd to take her place at Albus' side.
However, when she finally reached him, he was busy chatting to a dark-haired beauty from Ravenclaw.
"Hey, Albus."
No response; his attention remained on the girl tossing her hair dreamily over her right shoulder.
"Hey, Al..."
Again, no response.
"ALBUS!"
"No need to yell, Rose." He stated calmly when he finally turned around from flirting with the leggy brunette.
"Sorry," she said sarcastically. "I didn't think that your attention could be so focused on one person..."
"Well, yeah..." he said, her sarcasm totally unregistered in his mind. "I'm actually going to walk around Hogsmeade with Melanda today, is that cool with you?"
NOOOOO! Her mind shouted, but externally she nodded, and said, "Of course, you two have fun..."
Albus grinned goofily, and she could tell that he was so excited about his plans for today that she couldn't stay mad at him, so she grinned back and waved goodbye.
She walked through the gates and clambered clumsily into one of the carriages, which was almost full. The three Ravenclaws, two Hufflepuffs and one or two Gryffindors, excluding herself, sat in silence for most of the bumpy trip.
When they arrived in Hogsmeade, she waited until everyone had exited the carriage before running her hands through her auburn hair and following them.
The town was already bustling with students and Rose decided to head to Honeydukes to buy some sweets. It's possible to drown your sorrows in Chocolate Frogs and Christmas-themed Tinsel Toffees, right?
She nodded to herself and sped towards the bright display windows of the most famous candy shop in the whole of Hogsmeade.
The sheer number of different types of candy in Honeydukes never failed to amaze her, and she smiled despite herself. In the corner of her eye, she spotted a flash of platinum blonde hair which could only belong to the sole reason she had needed to come to Honeydukes and the reason why her heart was suddenly beating uncontrollably against her ribcage.
All of a sudden, a rough shoulder barged past her, and the person called out over the offending shoulder, "Watch it, loser!"
That was the tip of the ice-berg for Rose, and she felt the hot, salty tears well up mercilessly in her big, brown eyes (the one thing she had inherited from her mother) and it was all she could do not to break down in the middle of the crowded store, so she did what Rose Weasley did best: she ran. She ran so fast that she didn't notice the concerned pair of eyes that followed her.
To be honest, Scorpius had done a lot of thinking in the early hours of that morning, when he couldn't get to sleep. Only after hours and hours of pondering such trivial things as why he noticed the exact shades of brown, gold and red in Rose's hair did he realise that only people in love noticed things like that often enough to ponder them.
So, when she had run, red-faced into him after he had just climbed out of the shower and – thankfully - slung a towel around his waist, he had contemplated confessing everything right there and then. However, before he could, she had struggled out of his arms and ran away.
And now, as he watched her getting barged into, called a loser, and fleeing the candy store, he couldn't help but feel protective of the poor girl.
So, naturally, he dropped everything – literally – and chased after her. He saw her walking slowly down the main street of Hogsmeade, by herself, with her head down and arms crossed.
Even from afar she looked depressed.
"Rose!"
She turned around too quickly and almost lost her balance on the slippery street. She steadied herself and squinted. Once she recognized who called after her, she turned around and hurried away. She couldn't believe that even from that far away he still made her whole body go into overdrive.
"Rose!"
Rose turned around again, and yelled, "What, Scorpius? What do you want from me?"
By this time, he was three to four metres away from and heaving large, laboured breaths, having run all the way from Honeydukes to... outside Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, it seemed.
"I just wanted to apologise..." he panted.
Her eyes glazed over and he extended a hand to comfort her, but she slapped it away.
"I just wanted to apologise..." he muttered, more quietly than the time before.
"For what, Scorp?" she cried, tears spilling over cheeks. "For effectively smashing my heart into a million jillion pieces? For making me feel like I'm some Martian, or hippogriff-mermaid hybrid that nobody likes? For what?"
Smashing her heart into a million jillion pieces? That was new.
"Well, come on! Tell me? What do you have to apologise for?" She yelled. After some time in which silence reigned unbridled between them, she started again in a weak voice. "Nothing. That's what I thought. You have nothing to apologise for because I mean nothing to you. Why apologise to nothing for nothing, yeah? It all makes perfect sense, doesn't it?"
"Well, don't worry... If I mean nothing to you, then I'll make sure you mean nothing to me. I'll cast a memory charm if need be, swallow some potion, whatever! I'll make sure that this," she gestured between them, "means nothing to me anymore, the same way it means nothing to you. Whatever it is anyway, I mean we are hardly friends! What do we have to bring us together? Nothing. That seems to be the answer to everything today, doesn't it?"
She began to walk away, and all of a sudden Scorpius heard Albus' voice in his head.
"...You made it seem like you wanted nothing to do with her, kind of... That she meant nothing... A little advice: deal with the issue quickly, don't let it fester. It's real bad when it festers..."
Shit! God, why was he such a dolt? It festered and now she hated him, and Albus was absolutely right about what he made it seem like she meant to him, he'd just heard his confirmation come out of his love's lips. His love... Rose! She was probably waiting for a response... Think, Scorp, think!
However, when he broke from his dazed stupor, Rose was gone.
Rose couldn't help but hope that he would catch up to her, and kiss her, like in all of her Mother's Muggle movies. She glanced back once or twice, in the vague hope she would see him running gallantly down the street towards her, but all she saw was an empty street, snow covering the ground and random pieces of rubbish floating and dancing on stray gusts of wind.
She dragged her feet heavily through the snow, creating tracks in the white blanket covering every inch of the ground.
She walked past a dark alley, and heard a bin lid fall to the ground. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she chanced a glimpse into the darkness and found Albus and Mel snogging each other's faces off, Mel pressed against the wall, each make hungry noises unashamedly.
Making a face that showed only disgust, she trudged away. Internally, beneath all the disgust at seeing her cousin exchange saliva with some girl, she was jealous. Jealous that Albus got the girl he wanted... If he could get the girl he liked, why couldn't she get the guy she wanted? She had just poured her heart and soul out for him, and what did he do? Stared like a stunned mullet at some point fixated behind her and didn't have the guts to chase after her like any other gentleman would.
She mused more and more on those thoughts as she made her way back to the carriages that would take her back to the castle.
She was glad to see that there was one free, and she decided to take advantage of its empty state.
The horseless carriage began to move as soon as she shut the small door, and she stumbled backward onto the seat. Re-seating herself rather ungraciously, she began to consider her options... She could always ask Madam Pomfrey for a potion, she would understand, wouldn't she?
Or a spell, or a charm... She could ask Madam Pince for a pass into the restricted section, or just peruse the public area for some ideas...
The carriage halted sharply, and she fell from her seat onto the floor. Rubbing her elbows, she scrambled up grumpily and flung open the door. Stomping out into the snow, she paid no mind the confused glances sent her way from the few students that stayed behind that weekend.
Angrily, she stormed up to the dreaded dorm and all but screamed the password at the frightened portrait. She didn't hear the surrounding portraits protest at her fury, as she had slammed and locked the door to her bedroom before the entry portrait had swung shut.
She collapsed on the red and gold comforter and fumed for a little while before her emotions took hold and she cried herself to sleep.
Scorpius felt like he was about to burst into tears, and for someone brought up in an environment such as his that was very unusual. Maybe it was an explosion of all his pent up feelings from the past 17 years of his life, but he could unmistakably feel the wetness in his eyes, and it burned, burned like the fiery pits of hell.
He wondered somewhere in the back of his mind, whether that is what Rose had felt, and even if it was only a fraction, he immediately regretted every horrid word he had ever uttered about her.
He sullenly made his way to the carriages, and caught it back to the school.
Once there, he moodily grazed past people and grumbled all the way to the dorm. He mumbled the password, and the portrait swung open. He couldn't help but notice that the portrait seemed rather shaken up for some reason.
Oh, well. He had bigger problems.
He climbed the stairwell slowly, his legs feeling sluggish and heavy.
He heard quiet sniffling from somewhere, and he turned around to look at the common room... There was no-one there...
Then it struck him... Rose.
Rose.
He tip-toed up to her door, and lo-and-behold he could hear the sounds of muffled sobs emitted from behind the wood.
He stayed outside her door until the sobs quietened, and then stopped altogether. Her soft, gentle breathing echoed through the door and he could hear each inhalation and exhalation clearly despite the range.
On an impulsive notion, he stood up quickly and pushed open her door. He was sincerely surprised that she hadn't used a locking charm on it. He looked upon the small figure sprawled face-first on the garish bedspread. Swiftly and silently, he crept over to her bedside, and sat himself upon the mattress. She murmured and shifted in her sleep, curling up against his leg. A lock of her hair and fallen on her face, so he gently stroked it away, but was unprepared for the jolt of electricity that resonated in his veins.
Rose felt it too. She had woken up when she felt the pressure of his body next to hers on her mattress. So, she rolled over and curled up against his leg. She figured, if it was the only opportunity she was every going to get to be as close to him as she was now, she might as well take advantage of it.
A gentle hand smoothed a stray lock of hair away from her face, and she almost sighed at the compassion and love in that one movement.
She felt the shift in weight again when he made to get off the bed, but evidently decided against it. Her breathing quickened ever-so-slightly when she felt his warm breath near her ear.
"I'm sorry."
Scorpius hoped that the emotion he put into the two words sufficed for the amount of hurt he had put her through, even though in the far reaches of his mind, he knew they didn't.
With another gentle stroke of her cheek, which Rose felt down to her toes, the bed shifted slightly.
And then he was gone.
She slowly opened her eyes to make sure he wasn't there anymore. When she confirmed that he was not in her room still, she sat up and put her head in her hands.
She loved him... As horrifying as it was, she did.
And know he was saying sorry? She still didn't know what for... It could be that he was sorry for hurting her feelings, or it could be that he was sorry he couldn't love her back.
Looking at the boy's track record with relationships, it was most likely the latter.
Just the thought of made her sick to the stomach. Swallowing the urge to regurgitate what she had for lunch, she made a decision.
It was drastic, sure, but the most effective way to save her a lot of heart-break in the future. Isn't that what people said: A little pain now is better than a lot of pain later...? Something similar to that.
She hoped she was making the right decision.
She would tell Albus tomorrow, and she sincerely hoped that he would understand.
However, she couldn't help but think that things could get a little awkward between the two cousins... Because from now on, Rose Charlotte Weasley, cousin and best friend to Albus Potter, would cease all verbal or written contact with one Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, the other best friend of Albus Potter.
Yes, she was definitely making the right decision.
Review?