Disclaimer: I don't own KnB.

Warnings: mentions of yaoi, grammar/spelling, possible OOC!ness

Introduction

Hello, everyone! Welcome to the House of Shiori! I am Shiori, the owner, the host and the narrator for this place!

"Just get to the point, damn woman!"

Shut up, Ahomine-san. I'm nervous! It's my first time doing something like this.

"Aho-You!"

Do you want me to separate you from Kise-san, Aomine-san? I certainly have the power to do so. I've been torn between AoKaga and AoKise anyway.

"…"

Ah…That certainly shut him up.

"That was mean of you, Shioricchi! Threatening to separate us."

Sorry, Kise-san but it had to be done. Err…May I continue now?

"Sure." Collective voices reply.

Anyway, here in House of Shiori, we will present to you tales from all corners of the world and bringing you to utmost satisfaction.

"How can you do that with the state of this building like this, Shiori? The door is broken, the walls seem like they've seen better days, and the employees are noisy…" *stab, stab, stab*

"Oi, Akashi/Akashicchi! What's that suppose to mean?" Lots of voices protesting.

"…the foods are not bad but the aura of this place is fitting for a criminal only. Not to mention, my Tetsuya will get sick if he stays any longer in this dingy, dratty place." *stab, stab, stab*

… *sobbing sounds*

"Ah…Akashi-kun, I think you hurt Shiori-san's feelings."

"Is that so? I apologize, Tetsuya. And what did I say about my name?"

*gasps* "The Great Akashi apologizing?! It's the end of the world!"

"Shut up, peasants! What did you want to say just now, Tetsuya?"

"Ah! He returned to normal."

"You should apologize to Shiori-san, Sei-kun. Not me."

"Of course. Anything for my dear Tetsuya. *turns to Shiori* I…"

Five minutes later…

"….apologize, Shiori."

Don't say it if you don't mean it. *sigh* Anyway, like I said just now, we will present you tales from all around the world in any version you want it to, FOR FREE. Be it live play, movie or dramas. All we ask in return is for your good word and spread the words about us to your friends so we will have the money to renovate this place.

"What do you mean 'have money to renovate this place.'?"

Our sponsors will only give us money if we have people coming here, Kagami-san. And they have set a certain target. For each new customer, we will get something or a small amount of money.

"So, we just have to work hard and get lots of customers, right?" Twin voices says.

Yes, that's right, Kagami-san, Aomine-san.

"Hah! With me here, this'll be a cinch! After all, the only one who can beat me is me!"

"What are you talking about, Ahomine?! I remember a certain someone being defeated by me and Kuroko."

"What did you say, Bakagami?!"

"You wanna fight?!"

"Bring it on!"

"Daiki, Taiga. Silence. Your voices are irritating."

"Che!"

"Hah?! Why should I listen to you, chi-"

Kagami-san, please note that I will NOT be responsible for any injuries that will be dealt to you by both Akashi-san AND Kuroko-san. But don't worry, the entire crew will still visit you at the hospital…or your grave, whichever works.

"You lousy excuse of an employer! Do your job properly!"

I am. I simply do not want to get involve when it concerns Akashi-san or Kuroko-san. Why do you think I'm letting them to do whatever they want, to a certain extent?

"Thank you, Shiori/Shiori-san."

My pleasure, Akashi-san, Kuroko-san.

"Why do Akashicchi/Akashi/Akashi-kun/Aka-chin and Kurokocchi/Kuroko/Kuroko-kun/Kuro-chin get special treatments?"

Easy. I don't want to die an early death that comes with defying Akashi-san. I'm sure all of you agree with me, especially those who had been on the receiving end of Akashi-san's wrath.

"…"

"My, my. This is interesting."

"You should not look so happy knowing people fear you, Sei-kun."

"Is that so, Tetsuya?"

"Yes, Sei-kun."

"Ahaha…They look lovey-dovey as always."

"Shut up, Kiyoshi. Get a room, you idiotic couple!"

"Minor characters should not interfere with the romance between major characters. In fact, except for Tetsuya and I, all of you are minor characters."

"What?! Oh, that's it. I don't care that you're Tetsu's/Kurokocchi's/Kuroko's/Kuroko-kun's lover. You're going down!"

"Oh ho….Are you disobeying me? I'll just put you to your place then." *whips out his scissors*

*all Kuroko no Basuke characters except Kuroko, Momoi, Murasakibara, Mayuzumi, Mibuchi, Aida, Kazunari, Midorima, Kiyoshi, Sakurai and Himuro started fighting. Crashes and banging could be heard, sometimes followed by screaming*

Oh dear, I hope this place will still be standing when they are done. Ah…Would the rest of you help me to end this?

"Sure! House of Shiori also lets you choose what play, movie or drama that you want to watch. Of course, you have to send in your request first. Tetsu-kun, let's go on a date."

"I'm sorry, Momoi-san, but I will have to decline. Sei-kun will not be pleased. We also offer the service of 'One word, One story'."

"Which is our very own play, drama or movie writing. Simply put, you send us a request with one word that will be the theme and which characters to perform it for you. Did I describe that right, Shiori-chan?"

Yes, Aida-san. For example, customers may send request saying they want Akashi-san and Kuroko-san to perform a live play with the theme 'Marriage' and we will try our best to fulfill it.

"Spread the words to your friends~ I don't want this place to close down~ I like Shio-chin~" *starts munching on snacks*

Thank you, Murasakibara-san. Here's a limited edition green tea-flavoured maiubo.

"Phank fuu, Fio-phin~" *munching souds*

"Atsushi, don't talk with your mouth full."

"Hai~Muro-chin~"

Do Mayuzumi-san, Takao-san, Midorima-san, Mibuchi-san, Sakurai-san and Kiyoshi-san have anything to add before we end it for the day?

*shakes heads*

Well, Takao-san. Will you do the honours?

"Hai…Shiori-chan does not own Kuroko no Basuke. Please enjoy our performance and review! Did I do that right, Shin-chan?"

"Why are you asking me?"

*the fights finally finished with Akashi winning without A SINGLE SCRATCH on his body while the others are littered with bruises and scratches*

"Oh, it's ending already? Well, we should go now. Come, Tetsuya."

"Hai, Sei-kun."

"Akashi, you bastard! Get back here!" *majority of the characters chase after Akashi and by proxy, Kuroko*

*sigh* Goodbye and see you soon.

"Goodbye!"