It's An Endless Cycle!
I started this one some time ago, and thought since I am sick I would finish it!
Standard disclaimer applies. Please enjoy!
…………………………
It was… well, actually a pretty average day, and Yukari was trying to get Nyamo to grade her papers while calling it 'helping.'
"Hey Yukari, I wonder what happened to that one class of ours?" inquired Nyamo.
"Trying to start up an interesting, informative conversation full of happy reminiscences?"
"It wasn't exactly my intent, no…" Nyamo replied, standing up to remove one of her children from the ceiling fan on which he was happily swinging. "…but I guess we could…"
"Well thanks some help from your parents, and me of course, you finally actually got married and had kids."
"And you pushed your fiancé in the pool."
"Well…"
"….Repeatedly."
"Eh…"
"….And dumped beer on him."
"Accidentally!"
"…And nearly took out his eyes with a pair of chopsticks…"
"I swear, I have no depth perception…"
"…And yet you're getting married in three months."
"Yup…probably."
"Even after the Bananas Foster-toupee incident."
"Er… yeah…"
"Well I guess things worked out well for both of us then!"
"Oof!" exclaimed Yukari as she was hit roundly in the stomach by Nyamo's projectile 3-year-old. "Yeah, they did…."
………………………….
Meanwhile, in America…
"Hello everybody!" an adorable voice sang out. A small girl in a neat skirt-suit walked into the huge room, pigtails bouncing, carrying a wooden box. She sat the box down in front of a podium, hopped up, and bent the microphone all the way down to reach her face.
'Awwwww's were heard everywhere.
"Oof! Okay, everybody! This is Chiyo Mihama, presiding! Would everyone please stand for the moment of silence?" There was a pause. "Okay, everybody can sit down now!"
She opened up a large manila folder with Hello Kitty stickers on it and began flipping through. "Oh! Today we are working on educational funding! But first, would everybody please join me for the motivational song?"
Chiyo cleared her throat. "Ready? One… Two… Three! Legislation is so funnnn! Legislation is so funnnn! Afterward we can look around and see what we have done! Yay! We're ready!"
…………………………
"Well, Chiyo-chan did well too, becoming the first female American president and all. Especially the first American president to be elected underage, without official citizenship, without volunteering for the position, with a canine running mate (and First Gentleman), on sheer strength of adorability."
"I was the one who taught her to speak English real good, you know."
"Yeah, yeah."
……………………….
Somewhere in Tokyo….
"Good morning, and welcome to Kaori's Interior Design Studio! What may I help you with today?"
The tall man in the neat business suit held forward a sheaf of paper. "My name is Mr. Mori, and my wife wants to redesign our house. However, we both work, so we decided to look for an interior decorating service."
Kaorin smiled. "Oh good! I hope you'll choose our service! Now, come sit down at this desk. Do these papers contain instructions from Mrs. Mori?"
"Yes, they do. She is an… artist of sorts, although now she works as a secretary for a company. There's a sketch of our house, along with the room measurements, current color schemes, and color schemes she would like in each room, if possible. I understand you would probably like to see the house first, but she thought this might be helpful."
"My, your wife certainly is organized! You have a very large house, so lovely! Let's see… 'Current Color Schemes.' Hmm… I certainly would never have thought of a navy blue and bright orange bathroom! How… interesting."
The man looked embarrassed. "Yes, some of her previous design efforts were quite… robust. We've tried to agree on new color schemes to counteract that."
Kaorin turned the page. "Hmm… A light green and blue bathroom, that sounds good. Brown and blue sitting room? Hmm… Orange and white living room? Okaaayyy…."
"Um… Miss? Do you realize your face is turning purple? Miss…."
"Chartreuse and beige bedroom with purple accents? NOOOOOOO! Do you not realize just how many basic principles of design this violates?"
"Hey, why are your eyes red--- Ouch! I never knew paper clips could actually hurt--- hey! The plant! No, put down the table! Ouch! Not on my foot---come down from there! Come---Dammit, I'm taking my business elsewhere!"
One Hour Later….
Kaorin was collapsed in a chair, fanning herself with a brochure advertising "Super Duper Ultra Plush Carpet!"
"Okay Kaorin, calm down… calm down… it's okay… think of the color wheel…" She took a few deep breaths and drank some rather weak coffee from a paper cup. "There. All better. Ready to go back to your desk now? Yeah! Woo-hoo! Let's go!"
Just then the bell on the front door chimed. "Oh, a customer! I must be calm! Ahem.. ahem… ahem… okay, here I go! Welcome to Kaori's Interior Design---WHAT? Why are YOU here?"
"Hello, Kaoriiiiiin!"
"Kimura! I thought you were under house arrest!"
Mr. Kimura's head clicked as he tipped it to the side. He greatly resembled Bill the Cat.
"Not anymore! Uhhhh… I have a room for you to redecorate! See, it's my living room, and it should be done all in Sailor Moo---"
"Did you forget about the restraining order!"
"Uhhhh… not exactly…"
"AUUGGHHHHHH!"
……………………………..
"I hear Kaorin is still as neurotic as ever…"
"Ouch! He bit me! The kid bit me! Why you… Nyamo! Do something about that kid!"
"He's just three years old! He doesn't know better! Minoru, that was bad. Apologize to Aunt Yukari."
"Sorry, Auntie."
"HAHA! BOW BEFORE ME! HE WHO INJURES YUKARI MUST PAY THE PRICE!"
"Enough, Yukari. Get off the table."
"Mommy, Aunt Yukari's scaring me again!"
……………………………
In Northern Honshu…
"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Miss Sakaki. She is studying veterinary medicine at the school near mine."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ishikawa."
"My, what a polite young lady! So tall and pretty! Welcome to our home!"
Ten minutes later….
"…and here we have the storage barn, where we keep grain and hay."
"You're so lucky to live on a farm, Akira-kun. So lucky…"
"Well… I guess from your point of view, yeah. It's kind of a lot of work for little pay, though."
"But you get to be around all these animals. So lucky… So… Ack!"
A strangled sound sprung from Sakaki's throat.
"Eh? Sakaki-chan? Are you okay?"
She pointed.
"What? Oh, I guess Tama had her kittens. Looks like it was pretty recent, they just barely have their eyes open. Say, you aren't allergic, are you? Is that it? No, you have a cat. So what's…?"
"So… cute… so… cute… so… tiny… so… cute…"
"Mew?" inquired one of the kittens, a tiny black and white one with a pink nose. Sakaki cradled it in her hands, her eyes brimming with tears.
"So… cute… Let me have it! Please!"
"Well… they have to be old enough…"
Suddenly there was the sound of a dog barking happily. A large white dog jumped up on Akira, knocking him over.
"Ack! Oh hey boy! I was wondering where you got to! Sakaki, this is my dog Fuwa!" He heard no reply. "Sakaki?"
Looking up, he was faced immediately by a pair of eyes, rounded to the size of saucers. It was Sakaki, crawling with kittens, petting the black-and-white kitten with one hand and the dog with the other.
"Um… Sakaki, are you sure you're okay?"
"Let's get married."
"Huh?"
"Let's get married!"
"What? What… Are you joking? Hey, come back here!"
"Mrs. Ishikawa, Mrs. Ishikawa! Your son and I are getting married!"
"You are? My! My son proposed? Congratulations!"
"Hey wait! I did not!"
"Come on, we're going to need a witness."
"Now? Oh my! Let me go get my husband!"
"Doesn't anybody care about what I think?"
"As your mother, I certainly hope it's about grandchildren."
"Grandchildren?"
"Our son is getting married!"
"Married?"
"Yes, now!"
"Eh… I'll go start the car."
"We need to bring this cat along as a third witness."
"Hey! Wait for me!"
………………………………
"Do you think Sakaki will really become a vet?" Nyamo asked. "She seems so dedicated, but she never seemed like the medical type to me."
"Na-ah," Yukari drawled. "What is, is, and what isn't, isn't. So therefore, because of the logical conclusion I make here, all that is, is, and all that isn't, isn't, due to the effo—ineffort---uneff---aaaaahhh… Yakitori!"
"You know, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Well I had an idea but it just kinda disappeared. I think we should go out for yakitori and drinks."
"No."
"Yes."
"No! I am a responsible adult now, Yukari! A real one! I cannot go out drinking constantly!"
"Hey, if you're worried about the kid I've got it allll taken care of."
"Huh?"
"I hired a baby-sitter."
"What? When?"
The doorbell rang.
"Hi, Miss Yukari! Hi, Miss Kurosawa! Well I guess you're not Miss Kurosawa no more, but it's just like old times if I call you Miss Kurosawa, you know?"
"You… hired… Osaka?"
"Yup."
Osaka held her palm flat out in front of her as a sort of wave. "Hi, Minoru!"
"Yukari, I didn't know you kept in touch with any of your students."
"I don't. Osaka just kind of… shows up everywhere. Hey Osaka, tell Nyamo what you're doing for college."
"Oh yeah! I'm not good at anything, so I decided to become a nuclear physicist."
"A… nuclear physicist? Because you're… I don't follow your logic…"
"Yeah. Well, actually, I'm going to be a nuclear physicist teacher. You see, I kinda wanted to be a teacher, but I thought 'You know, I'm not actually that good at English and Math and stuff' so I wanted to teach something that I didn't know so I'd know it, and 'nuclear physicist' is fun to say."
"Are you kidding me?"
"Nope. Actually, the school where you taught me said they might like me to come back and teach Basic Beginning Physics as soon as I get my degree. It sounds kinda fun…"
"Fun? FUN?" Yukari wailed. "Being a teacher? Do you think it's easy? No! It's awful! Horrible! Terrible! Yakitori!"
"Huh?" Osaka blinked.
"Um… I think Yukari's saying we should go. She… has her own special way of communicating."
"Yeah, I remember."
"Yay! I get to stay with Miss Osaka again!" Minoru chimed.
Nyamo paused. "'Again,' Minoru?"
Yukari laughed nervously. "Well… maybe there were two exclusive limited-edition one-week-only this-sale-won't-last-forever video game releases at exactly midnight on exactly the days you wanted me to baby-sit… maybe there was also a two-for-one special at my favorite bar… maybe I didn't find out about all this stuff until the same day…"
Osaka handed Yukari and Nyamo their coats and purses.
"Maybe nothing! You deliberately---"
"Yeah, well, at least I never hit my boyfriend's father with a champagne bottle!"
Osaka opened up the front door.
"That was twelve years ago! And I didn't even know who he was!"
"Yeah, you were too drunk—"
"Bye, Miss Yukari! Bye, Mrs. Miss Kurosawa!" Osaka waved from the doorway. She turned around and shut the door. "Hey Minoru, I was thinking the other day, and I started to wonder if sea slugs get hiccups…"
Minoru sat down on the floor and made himself comfortable. It was always fascinating when Miss Osaka started telling a story…
Osaka got a pad of notebook paper for diagrams and sat down opposite Minoru. It was so nice to have somebody listen to a full sea-slug lecture with such rapture.
………………………………………
"My friend, the stocks are rising! It is time to cash in your shares! Buy! Sell!"
"Yukari, I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"That's-why-you're-the-stupid-one!" Yukari sang.
"What did you just say?"
Meanwhile, in a dorm room not too far away….
"…And there he was! Huge! Terrible! I was badly wounded, and my comrades had fallen all around me! At first I almost panicked!"
"Yeah…" said Yomi, reading the paper.
"But it took only a second for the energy drink and adrenaline to kick in! Left, right, up, down, L1, down, up, left, R1, enter, up!"
"Uh-huh…"
"The monster, however, had cast Evil Dark Damage Return Shield! Yet I survived--- with only one HP!"
"Fascinating."
"The monster's hard, previously-thought-impenetrable outer shell began to crack before my eyes! Giving a great roar…. Um… Yomi, you aren't listening to me, are you?"
"Every third word."
"No fair! Wait… wait… What is it that is holding your attention so raptly? Could it be…"
"Okay, okay, okay! It's an article on how vitamins benefit dieters!"
"Hah! I knew it!
Insecure, are we?"
"Tomo, you are the reason why we cannot get
boyfriends. You scare them all away! Those guys who were student
teaching at the school with us were so good-looking…"
"Oh yeah, blame me. You're the one who did the Nuku-Nuku impressions."
"I was trying to provide a distraction from your drunken tap-dancing!"
There was the sound of a muffled scream, followed by heavy footsteps.
"Would you guys just shut up in there! I'm trying to sleep! I have to be up before four a.m. tomorrow to get to the swim meet!"
"Sorry, Kagura. We'll be quiet."
"Pfft. Yeah, right! Nighttime is party time! Not meant for sleeping like some losers I know think…"
"Who are you calling a loser?" Kagura yelled.
"Tomo."
Tomo stuck her tongue out at Kagura. "The only loser I see around here!"
"Tomoooo…."
"Who, you? You act like a little kid!"
"TOMO!"
"I do not! …Huh? What?"
"You do know I have your memory card right here in my hand, right? With a hammer sitting right nearby?"
"Waugh! I'll be quiet! I'll stop!"
……………………………..
And the cycle continues on…. On and on…
On and on…
On and on and on and…
"Tomo, you can stop now."
On and on and on and on and on and…
"Tomo!"
On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and…
"That's IT! DOUBLE CHOP!"
Ow.
…………………………….
Hope you enjoyed. I know I certainly enjoyed writing it…There are however some glaring holes. In the beginning, Nyamo is said to have more than one child, and yet only one child is ever mentioned. The remaining child is… ah… visiting her grandparents in Hokkaido. Yup. Hokkaido.
----Ais