Disclaimer: Puella Magi Madoka Magica is the property of Studio Shaft, directed by Shinbo Akiyuki and written by Urobuchi Gen. Magical Girl Raising project, the original piece is written by the author Endo Asari. The author of this crack-fic does not own or claim ownership of the 2 franchises and is merely producing a crack parody of the franchises as a fan. Please support the creators and enjoy other works produced by them which are amazing.

This is my first story so it's probably going to be a breeding nest full of holes so thank you very much for reading!


Transfer

And so it ends.

The clutter of the rain was overwhelming. The world was playing static like the end of an old movie with a dissatisfying ending.

She was no longer sure if the wetness on her face was from the rain or tears. Nor which injury was hurting her the most.

Was it the glaive wounds that run deep through her mortal body and flesh, draining her blood away with every small beating of her weakening heart?

Or…..

Was it the blunt smash to Hatoda Ako's soul inflicted by lady fate, high in the sky who was now pouring heavy rain upon her broken form akin to a bully spitting saliva at a downed victim?

This was the final yet fatal sucker punch to remind Ako of her existence as an ugly accident that should've never exited her mother's womb.

After all, Ako out of the shell of her magical girl disguise, was just a dead burden, vomiting shame onto to her deceased mommy, daddy, aunt and Snow white as she lived.

Snow White, clothed in an ethereal, beautiful white costume was the only solace embracing her in this lonely grey alleyway which was soon to be Ako's grave. Knowing the sands in her timer were running out, Alice summoned all of her last energy to place the rabbit foot in her only friend's palm, the one last possession that could be of any use to the heroic magical girl.

As soon as the deed was finished, Ako or rather Hardgore Alice expressed satisfaction by finally allowing her tiring eyelids to roll over her eyes like a blanket over a corpse.

"As long as you live. There's still a magical girl in this city." In the dreadful darkness of death, she decided to not refuse this devotion even now…


There was no warning.

Blackness had suddenly transformed into a starry night sky as her eyes opened again with life.

The saintly white angel that was hugging her previously had morphed into a ghostly pale phantom which emitted no other aurora but aggression honed sharper than the tip of a butcher knife. It swung its arm in an arc and glided through Alice's outstretched hand.

The rabbit foot that should have been gifted away reappeared. It fell lightly onto the floor accompanied by a ringing sound from a connected piece of onyx gem that Alice never knew she owned.

A gasp emerged as she saw the strings of white tendons in her sliced up palm as she dropped the gift.

Yet the injury closed before her next breath as her regenerative abilities returned full swing.

She retreated in an elegant summersault that would instigate jealousy in the best Olympic gymnasts.

Where has Snow White gone?

Why did day turn to night?

Her lips curled with wonder as to the reason behind her sudden recovery while her eyebrows rose slightly in confusion.

But she never took her awareness off her enemy.

She was not going to make the mistake of being caught off guard again.

The phantom's arm thrusted again, causing the air to scream with its murderous velocity that did nothing as to even faze the agile Alice who initiated her combat dance with speed, explosiveness and finesse. To the untrained, normal human eye she was like a quick squirrel climbing and hopping around an inanimate log.

The Wraith was groaning in pain clownishly while its arm was slowly being beaten to a pile of mashed potatoes by axe-kicks, head-butts, hooks and thundering strikes in a huge number that should not have been executed in such a narrow frame of time. Trails of cobwebs broke from the floor as Alice landed and dodged from the entity's chops.

One chop had stuck the wraith's hand into the ground and Alice seized the opportunity to advance from wrist to forearm to elbow and bicep like a venomous black widow, ready to arrive at a vital spot in order to deliver a killing blow.

Then the windows of nearby buildings became splinters by the vibration of an angry battle roar.

The creature clumsily raised its other hand in trembling fright to swat this insane and crawling black spider off its destroyed arm. Alice narrowed her eyes ready to evade.

She wasn't alone fighting it though.

A blazing, scorching stream of purple beam ravaged the night air, earning a scream from the giant wraith as its other arm was disintegrated to the dust as soon as the first streak of the flaming arrow grazed its deltoid.

Alice's pupils constricted as she trailed the projectile to the source, arriving at a pair of irises the same colour as her own.

While the two may have had a brief moment of mistrust, both quickly recognized the gaze of a veteran in addition to a deep understanding of losing the chance to spend time with someone dear to them.

Their strange silent communion was disrupted as the Wraith kicked not at them but towards the rabbit foot connected to the onyx stone in the spot near its feet, sending the charm against a wall like a soccer ball.

A stream of wine red blood flew from Hardgore Alice's lips as her mind had thrown in the towel for this round.

"Retarded rookie." Jeered from a mouth that had just finished chewing on a Rocky stick. A tongue emerged and licked the blades of a red spear in the ecstatic excitement of battle.