Ninja Day Care

Author's Note: This is probably going to be different from my other stories. There's going to be a lot of fluff/crack and probably some "puppy love." Pairings are as yet undetermined, the rating may change later on. Anything beyond puppy love won't happen until they change back to their real ages though. If any of that bothers you, you might want to turn back now. For those of you still here, I hope you enjoy the story.

Chapter Notation: This chapter will be framed mostly or exclusively Tsunade's POV. Other characters will get chapters or POV scenes later on. As the pairings are undetermined as yet, there may or may not be yaoi and/or yuri pairings in addition to the straight pairings. It's still mostly going to be puppy love until they turn back though. In the interest of fairness, I believe everyone should be aware of those possibilities going in.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit off of any of my stories.

Chapter 1

"I can't believe this." Tsunade sighs dramatically as she looks down at the disturbingly adorable children in shock. "God help us all. They're all children again!"

The day had started so perfectly. It was like something out of a dream and now, it was turning into a nightmare. This couldn't be happening!

Kakashi chuckles. "It's not that bad." The CopyCat Ninja places a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "They seem to be all around five years old. How much damage can they possibly do?"

Tsunade tries her best not to gape at Kakashi. He had to be out of his mind. Five year olds or not, these were still some of the most powerful ninjas who had ever lived.

That wasn't all though. Judging by the fact that Sasuke and Naruto had been play fighting only a few moments ago, they were all going to be a handful. Tsunade could only pray that they would get them all back to their true ages and soon.

"We don't know what, if any of their abilities they can still use." She sighs again and feels the urge to acquire some rather strong sake. "And what about their memories?"

That information seemed to do the trick. Kakashi's eyes widen and he looks at the children in panic. Fortunately, they were all inside the Academy for the moment. So that should contain the worst of their problems.

Kakashi rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Well I suppose we should take a headcount. Ibiki is questioning the attacker, right?" Clearly, he was trying to look on the bright side of things.

Tsunade just couldn't see a bright side from this angle! Some of the most powerful ninjas in the world were now all five years old again! Well except for the Akatsuki. They seemed to range from about five to eight. Still she wasn't going to underestimate an Akatsuki Member at any age and this entire situation was a recipe for disaster!

"I've already taken a headcount." Kurenai says as she walks over with a list. "It seems we have quite a lot of children here."

The busty blonde thanks her and takes the list. What she saw made her eyes widen. The Rookie Nine, the Sand Siblings, and most of the Akatsuki. Well minus Sasori. He was dead. Oh and Sai as well.

There was one problem that immediately jumped out in her mind. "Do they have their adult memories?" Well maybe calling the Rookies adults was a bit of a stretch, but honestly they were ninjas. By sixteen or seventeen years old, you were definitely an adult in her view.

"The Power of Youth is very cute today!" Guy grins fantastically at her he strikes a heroic pose, causing Tsunade to groan.

Guy was a good man. He was a loyal member of the Leaf and a formidable ninja, but he was more than a little eccentric. Right now, she needed everyone to take this seriously!

She shakes her head. "Yes, Guy. They're all cute, but we need to know whether or not they have their memories."

The enthusiastic ninja shakes his head back at her. "Well I took the liberty of talking to Lee and the Uchiha Brothers for obvious reasons." Obviously. They couldn't have a mini Sasuke and Itachi trying to kill each other. "Lee doesn't remember anything and neither do they. Well nothing past the age that they were turned into, anyway." He smiles at her reassuringly.

The Hokage blinks and looks at Kakashi. "How old was Sasuke when it happened?" She didn't think that elaboration was necessary on this point.

It obviously referred to the Massacre. Sasuke looked young. Maybe, the Massacre simply hadn't happened yet. Well at least not in his mind.

"He was seven. Probably close to eight." Kakashi nods as if positive of this. "If he doesn't have any memories after the age of…" He glances over towards his pupil, "five…then we should be okay. As far as Sasuke is concerned, Itachi is still his beloved older brother at this point."

Well that was a relief. That still didn't solve their long-term problem. They had to find a way to get everyone back to their proper ages and then, they could punish the Akatsuki for their crimes.

She nods approvingly. "Good." That's when a young Choji toddles over to her and looks up at her with hopeful eyes.

Damn. They were cute brats. "Do we have any food?" He smiles at her cutely. "I'm hungry." She had to give them that much.

Though that was a good point. They were definitely going to need some food. This many children were bound to get hungry at some point.

"I'll go ask Iruka." She assures him as she heads off, leaving the other Instructors to deal with the children for the moment.

A few minutes later, she finds Iruka and well he looked frustrated to put it mildly. The Sand Siblings were now in a rather large looking sand castle and she could see that they were all chowing down on sweets. Though Gaara looked mildly terrified.

"Lady Tsunade!" Iruka sighs in relief. "Thank goodness! You're here! I don't know what to do with them! I can't break through his sand and I want to put them with the other children."

Oh boy. This was going to be an issue. At this age, the Sand Siblings probably didn't know anything about the Leaf. They might actually think that they had been kidnapped or something. It was only natural that Gaara would want to protect himself and his siblings.

Luckily, this seemed to be before he had completely lost control of the demon. They could work with this. She sighs and walks over to them.

"It's okay. We're not going to hurt you." The blonde woman smiles at them.

Kankuro peeks his head out hesitantly and then sends out a rather basic looking puppet. Clearly, he intended to have it do the talking without them having to leave the castle. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"Yeah! Where are we?!" Temari apparently was going to contribute to the conversation as well.

"I'm Lady Tsunade. I'm the Hokage. You've all been hit with a Jutsu, but we're going to try to fix you." There. That should be simple enough for small children to understand.

She might not be the world's authority on dealing with children, but Tsunade could tell when a child was skeptical. These three were very skeptical. They had every right to be.

Gaara gazes at her with piercing aqua eyes, even at that age…he had feral black markings at them. "Hokage means that you're from the Leaf." He had apparently fought with the demon and struggled with it for quite some time, even at this age. That knowledge was utterly heartbreaking.

Though she couldn't help, but feel impressed at his knowledge of politics this early on. Perhaps, he had truly been born to lead. One day, he would grow up to be Kazekage, after all. Just like his father before him.

There might actually be something to the phrase, "It's in their blood." Gaara's father was Kazekage and now he was. And Naruto would one day be Hokage as well. Just as his own father had been. Tsunade's grandfather was the first Hokage. Yes, there did appear to be something almost hereditary about the position now that she thought about it.

"Yes, that's right." She nods and the Sand Siblings look at each other in horror.

"The Leaf is bad news!" Temari pulls out her fan.

Just then the sand, puppet, and a strong gust of wind come at Tsunade. Of course, these "mini attacks" wouldn't phrase someone like her, but she didn't want to have to actually fight them.

Suddenly, she hears a loud yawn and sees some shadows get caught. "What a drag!" Shikamaru yawns again. "I just came out here to get some food for Choji and these weirdoes are attacking you for no reason!"

"HEY, WHO ARE YOU CALLING WEIRD?!" Kankuro demands, but he couldn't move.

Shikamaru yawns. "I called you weird. Because you are." He stretches lazily.

Oh boy. Tsunade sighs and gestures for Iruka to help her carry them off. He nods and takes Temari while Tsunade was left to deal with the Sabaku brothers. "Shikamaru, help yourself to whatever you want in the fridge. We'll be back in in a moment."

It was probably safe to leave Shikamaru on his own for a couple minutes. He had always been known as a genius and somewhat lazy, after all. Most likely, he was the one least likely to cause trouble. Well other than maybe, Hinata.

"Where are our parents?" Tsunade hears Sakura ask Kurenai and Tsunade frowns.

That was another can of worms. At five, most of these children had parents. Some of them, loved their parents dearly. What on Earth was she going to tell them?

Fortunately, Kurenai stepped in to save the day. "They're all on vacation and they said you should enjoy lots of playtime here until they come back." She smiles as the pink haired girl reassuringly.

Well it was as good as an excuse as any, Tsunade thinks to herself as she places the boys in the classroom. Gaara was going to be a problem though. His sand acted instinctively. That meant he didn't need to know how it worked or to have much chakra control, if any for it to do whatever he willed it to do.

"What's wrong with your face?" Neji stares at Kisame in shock.

Wonderful. Those types of questions were bound to come up a lot now. And the Hyuga Boy was currently "hiding" Hinata behind his back. It seemed he wanted to protect his cousin from Kisame.

Kisame tilts his head to the side. "What do you mean?" He twitches. "What's the matter with your face?! Boys aren't supposed to have hair that long!"

"New friend, friend Neji is right though!" Lee bounds over happily. "Your face is blue. Are you sick?"

Oh Dear God, these children were going to be the death of her! How was she supposed to corral them all until Ibiki could wrest answers from the ninja responsible for all this chaos?!

That just causes the Akatsuki Member to twitch more. "No! I'm not sick!" He glares at the other boy. "I was born this way!"

"Really?" Ino tilts her head to the side curiously as she toddles over. "I've never seen someone with blue skin before! I've seen people who are really white or really dark, but never blue skin!"

Kisame wasn't the only exotic member of the Akatsuki though. Akamaru was currently barking at Zetsu. "Akamaru! Be nice! He's a person!" Kiba frowns thoughtfully. "Well at least I think so."

Zetsu glowers at the puppy and other boy. "Of course, I'm a person! That's mean!" He looks at a boy wearing an orange mask helplessly.

Obito nods. "He's right. That was very mean!" He gives Kiba a dirty look. "Don't make me Fireball Jutsu you!"

Tsunade vaguely recognized that voice. Was that Obito Uchiha? One of Minato's students, but he was supposed to be dead?!

"Can you really use the Fireball Jutsu?" Itachi wanders over with Sasuke ever by his side. "That takes a lot of chakra."

Sasuke nods his head enthusiastically. "Yeah! And it's from our Clan!" He blinks at Obito and looks him up and down curiously. "Well you kinda look like us." He seemed to be contemplating whether or not the other boy was related to him.

Naruto wasn't too happy about having his play fight with Sasuke disturbed though. He races over. "Hey! We were in the middle of fighting!" He glares at Sasuke. "You can't just run away like that! You scaredy-cat!"

Hinata looks at Naruto nervously. The poor girl was probably worried that the blonde would actually get hurt. She really was such a sweet little thing.

She looked positively terrified. "N-Naruto! Don't get into fights!" Though at least she was rational. "You could get hurt and so c-could someone else!"

Just then a beautiful butterfly flies by and Shino points at it. Obviously, the insect lover had somehow found it. He seemed to be giving Tenten a lesson about insects.

"First, they have to be caterpillars and then they turn into butterflies." He smiles.

Tenten nods as she stares at it. "It's really pretty!" She beams in delight as the butterfly flies around and then Akamaru starts barking at it.

"AKAMARU! DOWN! DON'T CHASE THE BUTTERFLY!" Tsunade tries to advert a disaster. Damn. She was probably going to have to get some doggie biscuits or something. "Down, boy! Down!"

Naruto frowns at Hinata. He was in the middle of trying to explain why everything was okay when Guy scoops him up and puts him on the opposite side of the classroom as Sasuke. It was probably safer for everyone, if those two didn't mix.

"Hey! Bushy Brows!" Naruto pouts. "I was talking to the jerk! I was fighting him because he's a jerk!"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. "Whatever. You're a loser!" He smiles at Obito. "So what's your name?"

"I'm Obito Uchiha!" He nods proudly at this and puffs out his chest a bit.

Definitely, Obito Uchiha then. Hmm. So he had survived somehow and joined the Akatsuki. Tsunade glances at Kakashi worriedly.

Kakashi's eyes widen at the name. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. Which to be fair, he kinda had.

"I can't believe it." The silver haired man stares at the five year old in shock.

Kurenai sighs and pats Kakashi's shoulder comfortingly. Well at least he had the Genjutsu Mistress to steady him, if he fainted. Unfortunately, Tsunade had bigger problems to worry about.

Like Deidara and Hidan. "ART IS AN EXPLOSION!" The blonde was currently hurling paint at the walls and Hidan wasn't helping matters.

"Yeah!" He grins widely as he begins to utter out a series of positively delighted curses and Tsunade winces as most of the other children suddenly looked traumatized.

Iruka had heads over and drags Hidan off by the cuff of his ear. Obviously, the Chunin wasn't going to allow that sort of behavior in his classroom. Well that was one problem down.

Konan seemed to be taking a more measure approached to all this though. The blue haired girl was definitely sticking close to Nagato. Now, Tsunade recognized him. Those two were two of the war orphans that they had rescued all those years ago!

"Should we try to escape?" She glances at her friend.

Most likely, the girl thought that Tsunade couldn't overhear her. She could though.

Her friend shakes his head. "No. I don't think so." He smiles at her. "After all, it looks like they have food and we might be safe from the war here."

Wonderful. She had two war orphans in her care. She was probably going to have to separate Konan and Nagato from the other children. They'd probably unintentionally terrify them with stories about the war.

"Yay! I found some moneys!" Kakuzu waves around Iruka's pouch.

"That's awesome! Yeah?!" Deidara forgets about his art of a minute and scurries over to Kakuzu.

Well at least Sai was acting normally. Well at least normally for him. He was just sketching in a coloring book. Tsunade sighs.

She couldn't believe that this was actually happening. That damn ninja had caused so many problems with his Jutsu!

The Leaf had been working on formalizing an alliance with the Sand for the war. That was why the Sand Siblings were there. Unfortunately, it seemed the Akatsuki had found out.

"Alright! Let's get the Nine Tails!" Kisame cried out in delight.

They had attacked at first light when everyone had been asleep or barely awake. That would have been bad enough, but it seemed that someone had decided to take further advantage of the situation.

"BEHOLD! MY FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH JUTSU!" Honestly, Tsunade didn't even recognize the man.

Judging by his headband though, he was a ninja from one of the lesser known ninja villages. And he had made a new Jutsu. Wonderful.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!" Thankfully, the Senseis had all been in her office when it happened. "There's no telling what that Jutsu might be capable of!" Tsunade had been intending to brief them on situation, but then this happened.

She waited for several minutes. After awhile, things were disturbingly quiet. The blonde had expected the sounds of a heated battle to be heard. After all, the Akatsuki had been trying to kidnap Naruto. Instead, she heard only the confused sounds of young children?

A small scuffle ensued and soon enough, Kakashi and Guy had managed to restrian the Fountain of Youth Jutsu User. "It seems that he transformed them all into children. Most likely, he would have done it to all of us." Kakashi paused. "I think that it was his plan to take over the Leaf."

Tsunade blinked. Well that was most certainly a new one. She had never heard of such a thing before.

And thus, that was how they had ended up here. It hadn't taken too long to get all the children in the Academy. Now, she had to figure out what they were going to do with them.

She couldn't really punish the Akatsuki for crimes that they hadn't committed yet. Well at least they hadn't committed them in their minds. Though now that she thought about it, it would probably be best to keep the Akatsuki away from Gaara. This was especially the case when it came to Deidara.

"Hey, Sakura!" Ino beams at her.

"What is it?" The pink haired girl looks at her in confusion as she walks over to her friend.

The blonde girl gestures towards a rather large play house. Tsunade sighs. Well she supposed it was just as well. They had find some way to keep this army of children from destroying the village.

Letting them wear themselves out with toys, well that might work. It wasn't like she had a better idea. There was no reason not to let them have their fun.

Guy smiles. "Well that's cute." He smiles at the sight of the girls trying to play house.

It was cute, but that wasn't their main concern at the moment. Tsunade could only hope that Ibiki would be able to get answers out of the mysterious stranger.

She was the Hokage. Tsunade was not a babysitter! She didn't have the faintest idea how she was supposed to manage all these children!

Iruka sighs. "Yes, it is. But I think that we can all agree that this isn't natural." Iruka did though.

Tsunade smirks. Ah. She had a wonderful plan now! She could just let the Chunin handle most of this while she continued about her normal Kage Duties!

Iruka blinks. "My Lady?" Well perhaps she shouldn't have smirked. It was likely that she had frightened the poor man. Still, she couldn't help it. "Is something wrong?" The busty blonde now had a plan. "Why are you looking at me in that way?"

Kakashi chuckles. "It's rather obvious." He smiles at Iruka. "You're a teacher. You have the most experience with dealing with small children out of any of us." Yes. Exactly!

The Academy instructor looks at the silver haired man as if he had grown another head. Tsunade knew what he was thinking. He was likely thinking that they couldn't possibly be serious.

"Well yes. I have the most experience with small children." Iruka was trying to back out. "But some of these children are really dangerous S Class Criminal Ninjas." That was true. "And I don't have as much experience with those types of people." Also true.

Tsuand almost felt guilty for what she was about to do. Really, it wasn't fair to expect Iruka to handle this, but he would have help. So that was something. Right?

Kurenai smiles at him. "Don't worry. I'm sure that you can handle it and we'll be right here to help you." Thankfully, the children were far too busy playing to be paying much attention to their conversation.

"Well it seems as though I am outnumbered." Iruka sighs heavily. "Alright. I shall take the lead in this mission." He pauses. "I just really hope that they're all turned back soon."

Tsunade nods in agreement. There was a very good chance that if they didn't, the Leaf could be destroyed by their temper tantrums. She really hoped that Gaara was the only one who was at full power at the moment.

Because if that wasn't the case, they were all in trouble. Big trouble. Tsunade wasn't really sure how they would handle it, if the children started using their signature attack moves.

She sighs. "I certainly hope that is the case as well." She looks at all of them. "I'll go and get us some sake."

Iruka gives her a disapproving look, but Tsunade just rolls her eyes. Now, was not the time to be prim and proper. Now, was the time to prepare for war. Because make no mistake about it, that's what this was.

A war to keep the mini army of children from taking over the Leaf. That or destroying it through a temper tantrum. There was no way that she was going into this unprepared.

"I'll get you some water, Iruka." She tsks as she heads off and leaves her colleagues to prepare for the upcoming war in the best ways they knew how. "Come on, Ibiki. Put those interrogation skills to use." She mutters under her breath as she braces herself for the chaos that was likely going to erupt very soon.