Authour´s note: This is my first try to write a fanfiction ever. I wrote it just for the fun of it, I don´t own any of the characters or quotations I used nor do I have permission to use them.

We all have ghosts that haunt us

DI Robbie Lewis was driving through Oxford on his way to Laura´s house. Feeling totally happy with himself he hummed to the Rigoletto aria which came out of the radio.

Only 5 months and he would retire. That was what the Chief Super had asked him for, to stay for another half year. Jean Innocent was a really clever woman; he had to give her that. She dragged him in for another 6 months and at the same time reused Hathaway to quit completely, but giving him a 6 months sabatical leave to think about his future. So like her Lewis hoped that James would come to his senses and come back going for DI when he would retire.

As for now Robbie was working with DC Grey again and the lad really had potential. It was his secret goal to train the boy so that the hopefully returning Hathaway had a good and solid trained bagman to work with.

He also wondered where James was right now. Hathaway had left two weeks ago without telling Lewis what he wanted to do probably because he feared Robbie would laugh at him.

But he had told Laura: the lad was going the St. James-Way to Santiago de Compostela. Sure he had to go that far and not just to Canterbury. Also sure he told Laura knowing she would understand.

Thinking of Laura made Robbie smile. He was fascinated how fast they had fallen into a kind of routine together but also still feeling like teenagers sometimes during these last weeks.

He arrived at her house still smiling as he got out of the car. He went down the footpath and opened the door to Laura´s house. It was the first time he was alone here but she had to finish some work before joining him; so in her easy-going way she had just handed him the keys and said he should make himself comfortable until she would arrive.

Now he stood in the hallway trying to figure out which of the closed white doors would lead to the living-room. He tried the one on the left but noticed immediately that it wasn´t the living-room with the bright conservatory attached but her study. He wanted to shut the door again but then took a look around and saw many photos on the mantelpiece. It then came to him that he didn´t know much about her past and family. She knew a lot about him, his life and the kids, had always been there when he needed someone to talk to but when had she ever told him about herself despite the bits about her studying here he got to know after the affair last Halloween.

He couldn´t resist and went in to look at the photos. There was one of her with a big dog and a boy playing ball, one with a baby on her lap. This one must had been from the time when he first met her. Thinking about it he had to grin about her first encounter with Morse: "Please tell me where I might find a Chief Inspector…looks like Mouse?" She really had a cheeky way with him.

There were wedding pictures of people he couldn´t figure out but the last one tantalized him completely. It was a young girl presumably Laura on a big black horse galloping on a beach, girl and horse like one perfect unit both with flying manes.

The doorbell rang and brought Lewis back to the here and now. He couldn´t say how long he had gazed at the photos. He went to open the door, this one picture still in his hand.

Laura was talking on her mobile: "Sure Sweety! I know it means a lot to you but you must understand that I can´t promise to be there. I know it´s been a long time but look, let us talk again Friday, okay? Give my love to the rest, bye Sweety!"

Then facing Robbie, telling him she had just talked to her niece, Laura wanted to lean in and kiss him when she noticed the photo in his hand. Her face went blank. He also noticed it only then: "Oh Laura…I´m sorry…I took the wrong door…" he stammered not knowing how to read her face. She looked like she would start crying but then she gave him a weak smile.

"Why is it that some things just hit you from every side all at once?" she asked before kissing him at last. "I guess it´s time to tell you about my past, so why don´t we go in, have a glass of wine and talk?"

Robbie being glad that she was her normal self again took her in his arms and just held her for a moment.

Then they started together to the living-room on the right side and while Laura opened the doors of the conservatory to let the spring air in, Robbie went through in the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine. When he returned to the living-room Laura was sill standing in the door watching out. Her back at him she started speaking:

"My parents breed horses. They have a stud farm and riding center near Bude. My Dad always jokes that I was able to ride before I was able to walk."

Robbie sensing that she needed the distance sat down at the table waiting for her to continue.

"It was great growing up there with my older brother and for my fifth birthday I got this beautiful black foal. We grew up together and I helped my Dad to train him. He became my best friend. His name was Devil Dancer. We were a great team and started to take part in show jumping events when we were both old enough. Then there was this big open air riding event in London in the summer before I wanted to start studying. Everything was fine, Dancer and I made it to the jump-off with four other pairs and then my life changed from one second to the other.

It was our turn and we were riding to the fourth of the five fences. We were just at the first movement to jump when some kind of shot rang through the air. It was never clear if it really was a shot inside or outside the parcours or if it was a plane breaking through the sound barrier.

But whatever it was Dancer bolted and threw me off. The next thing I knew was waking up in hospital, my Dad beside my bed. I could see looking at his face that something wasn't right. Knowing it wouldn´t help keeping it from me, my Dad told me that Dancer had stumbled into the fence after throwing me off and fell, he broke two legs and our vet who was there with us had to put him down immediately.

As for me I was lucky that Dancer had thrown me off as this way I only had a bad concusion, some broken ribs and bruises but nothing life threathening.

I was in total shock and it took two days to sink in. It also took me two days to feel anything or cry. My family was there for me the whole time but when I was able to think straight again after some days I made some promises to myself. I told them to my Mom when she came to pick me up at the hospital after a week:

I would never have a horse again.

I would never attend or watch any riding event again.

I would cut my long hair which was down to my waist that time and never have it that long again and

Instead of studying medicine in Bristol I would go to Oxford.

I had the grades for Oxford but with Dancer, Bristol would have been easier. Now without him I wanted to go further away from home.

Luckily my parents never tried to convince me otherwise, the only thing my father asked me for was that I started riding again which I did and still do when I´m home. But I kept all my promises until today."

Laura turned to face Robbie and gave him a weak smile. "You see we all have our ghosts that haunt us", she continued, now looking at him. "I had a lot of nightmares for some years after it happened but they stopped some time and now only come very rarely, like a few weeks ago when there was this psychic poisoned with the Etorphine and you told me about the boy and his horse…that brought it back but only for one night."

Robbie couldn't keep sitting at the table any longer; he got up went to her and took her in his arms for some time. Laura feeling his strong arms around her, relaxed into the embrace resting her face on his chest. Then he said: "I´m so sorry about all you had to go through and I´m more than sorry that I told you about the poor boy. "

Looking up in his face Laura said: "You couldn´t know but now I´m glad I told you, as said before it came twice to me today. My niece is now doing show jumping and as she is going to take part in an event here in Oxford next weekend she wants me to come and watch her."

Her smile faded and Robbie could feel the tension that ran through Laura now. Keeping her in his arms, he kissed the top of her head and then said: "I know you promised yourself you would never go to a riding event again, pet, but what about facing your ghosts with me?"

Relaxing again against him and thanking fate that she had him with her now knowing she could face anything with him at her side Laura whispered a "thank you" before kissing Robbie tenderly.