Jacob POV
God. The first day of school. The most unfortunate part about it is that no matter how long your summer was, it always felt like you never left.
And when I look back on it, I did have a long summer. My best friend Bella really got me to let loose and be myself. We got into many crazy situations, and despite the misery that came from the parental units for said crazy situations (I was grounded often consequentially) I completely missed the "summer love" memo. Bella had her fair share of boyfriends, but I went solo for the entirety of summer.
This year would be different though. I could feel it. I was a junior and it was time for change. I had also "blossomed" for a lack of better words and grew into my height and muscular stature. I actually felt more confident, despite the fact that I just couldn't get past my natural distrust of people. But I decided that I wasn't going to waste my time focusing on my negatives anymore. It's a New Year, and nothing was going to stop me. Except maybe the school part.
"Jacob, we are running as late as Jessica's period here! Let's move!" Bella yelled with a joking ferocity. Jessica turned to Bella and punched her in the arm.
"Not funny! July was a bad month for me! Thankfully that trick with ibuprofen and apple cider works!" Jessica returned with a flair of airheadedness.
I interject with laughter. "Jessica, you just weren't pregnant and you misread the pregnancy test the first time. You got lucky. Ibuprofen and apple cider isn't some magical home brewed Uterus bomb!"
She shrugs. "I'm in no position to question miracles, ladies and gentlemen, I merely marvel at them."
"Okay let's check our schedules again. I have no idea where I'm going," Bella suggests.
We compare schedules, and after deducing that Bella and I had the same first period we split from Jessica and make our way to our classroom at a dead sprint.
"Damn it! Who put the Economy classroom at the other end of the school!" Bella pants.
"The Gods of Education aren't looking so favorably upon us, apparently!" I return.
We pass a few of our classmates, who too are in chaos over their new schedules with which they are unfamiliar. We wave to some notable people, but our minds are set on getting to class on time. We had Mister McLeary for Economy and he had a notorious dislike of tardiness.
It seems Jessica blessed us with a bit of her miracle proneness and we made it to class as soon as the bell rang. McLeary brought order to the class at once.
"Alright folks, don't get comfortable with your seats because I have a seating chart ready to go. A bit elementary, I know, but it's only till I know your names."
We all groan, and Bella and I depart with an underhand "low five." Bella ends up sitting next to a certifiable genius, Mike Newton, so she will be able to pass with flying colors courtesy of her strategy of cheating. I on the other hand end up sitting in the back by myself.
The teacher started the lesson and I let my mind wander. He talks about the Iron Law of Wages, something I know like the back of my hand so I feel I am entitled to not pay attention.
I look around and see two of my peers passing notes and making goo-goo eyes at each other. How disgusting. Maybe it was out of jealousy, or maybe it was out of resentment, but I hated seeing couples flaunt their happiness in front of me.
I had been single all my life. It's not because I'm a total loser, though I do tell myself that from time to time. I just have a hard time opening up to people. I've been tall and muscular since puberty hit me like a steroid pitcher's foul ball, and one would think girls would be swarming all over me. The truth is that I was uncomfortable with my body because I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't like sports, and I really didn't like showing off my body because I didn't like the ogling superficialness of it. I also came off as intimidating so no one ever approached me. And thus I have been single. Which was fine by me. I didn't like people much. Besides Bella and occasionally Jessica, I didn't hang out with anyone. I had a slight condition of Asperger's disease, which makes it hard for me to lie and relate to people. It is very, very, VERY minor, but I usually end up insulting people. As a result people avoid me. Like I said, I don't like people, but I had to admit to myself I was terribly lonely. I needed to change. Which was my goal this year.
That was going to be hard sitting back here by myself.
That's when he walks in.
Emmett Cullen.
The teacher turns, his vein bulging out of his head. "Cullen! Where have you been?"
"Sorry, McLeary, but I couldn't find my way to class."
"I'm going to let this slide because it is the first day, but don't let it happen again!" Emmett nods in acknowledgement.
"You sit back there with Jacob Black. We're learning about the Iron Law of Wages, so I hope the day dreamer back there knows enough to catch you up to speed with his attentive notes."
Everyone joins in unison "Ooo!" as though we were being sent to the Principal's office.
McLeary shakes his head in frustration. "People, grow up. Let's get back on track."
Emmett makes his way back to the desk next to mine. As he walks he stares intently into my eyes. His stare is very intense. He tries to offer some semblance of a smile but it comes off awkward and uncomfortable. He sits in his desk as he keeps his eyes on me.
Emmett Cullen and I have somewhat of a history. We used to be friends back in the day, one of the few people who got me. In middle school we drifted apart. We talk from time to time, and by that I mean we talk once every solar Eclipse if I'm lucky. We ran in different social circles. I assume he is still a cool person. Truth be told, I haven't thought anything of him for years.
I haven't been in class with Emmett in a long time, and the situation felt a bit complex.
"So, I take it you didn't take notes." Emmett questions with a laugh.
"Nah, I know this shit like Donald Trump knows Wigs and Real-estate," I jest. Emmett laughs loud enough to draw some attention our way but not McLeary.
"Can you fill me in?"
I sigh and turn my body towards him. My body language screams annoyance.
"You really didn't miss much, dude. And I have no interest in talking to you, really."
Emmett's smile fades. Oh shit, I was too honest again.
I look at him with an expression of shock and embarrassment. "I'm SO sorry!"
He shakes it off. "It's okay man," his laugh assures me.
We stay quiet for a bit, but then suddenly I find myself starting a conversation.
"So how have you been?"
"Pretty good. You?"
"Well, as you can see I'm working on my people skills." I put my long black hair behind my ear and look away.
"Don't worry about it, really. You know I get you man."
I smile much to my surprise. "Thanks. It's been a really long time since we've talked."
"Yea."
We sit quietly again. He breaks the silence this time.
"I actually kind of miss you."
I look at him with surprise.
"Really now?"
"Yea, we used to be pretty close. I'd hope you weren't such a dick and would think of me a bit," he laughs. I like his laugh.
"Honestly, when I think about you I think about muscled nothingness. You kind of sold out a bit," I say with biting sincerity.
Emmett Cullen is the star quarterback and basically the alpha male of the primitive hormonal society I laughably refer to as a center of Education. As such he liked to roll with like-minded people, all of whom I despise. But they've all graduated and so Emmett has been left by himself. Last year he walked around school like a sad, lost puppy, forced to stay with his large of family of equally gorgeous siblings. Not that I think he's gorgeous. I bet he needs a friend.
Emmett isn't shallow or anything. He is a class clown and full of warmth. He just is slightly aware of what other people think of him.
"I did, didn't I?" Emmett asks.
"Yes. But I'm the only one who would notice. You are genuinely nice. I just see past it all."
"You are painfully honest, huh?"
"As honest as a politician, I suppose."
Emmett smiles brightly. I sort of feel myself blush, and I'm not sure why.
"You're as funny as I remember."
"How is your family?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Fine. Alice is still the sunshine of the earth. Jasper still looks like he's constipated in the soul. Rosalie is still in love with herself. And Edward is still a misunderstood poet with incredibly high standards," he kids.
I laugh back. Emmett used to make me laugh like nobody's business.
"There's the famous Jacob Black smile!"
I full out blush. God, if you have any mercy Emmett won't notice that.
"My smile is famous?"
"To me it is."
That's odd.
I make a leap. "We need to catch up. Give me your cell phone number."
Emmett writes it down, along with something else and passes it to me. I take it and accidentally brush my fingers against his.
"If you don't text me immediately, I will be hurt Mister Black."
"You are enormous and buff. I doubt I could hurt you with anything," I say blandly.
"Is that a compliment? As I recall that isn't one of your strong suits," he grins.
"It isn't."
"I'll take it as one," he says.
"MISTER CULLEN!"
We both look to see McLeary staring at us with anger.
"Do you even know what the Iron Law of Wages is?"
Emmett pauses in thought, then answers comically. "I'm guessing it is something that makers of the Snuggie have mastered."
The classroom erupts in laughter. I can't help but giggle a bit myself. He notices me laughing and winks. I suddenly find myself needing the class period to end. Thing are getting too High School in here.
After class I hot foot it out and go to my locker. I open the piece of paper Emmett wrote down his cell number on. His number is obviously written down, but there is a postscript.
"Jacob. I do still get you."
That is oddly…personal. I may not have talked to Emmett is many moons, but Jesus Christ, this is some Melrose Place long lost friendship shit. This is really heavy. I'm not sure I can deal with this. I also have this…foreboding feeling that this relationship, or the picking up of this relationship, is going to lead to emotions I'm not prepared to confront.
"Got fan mail already? I know you got crazy muscular over summer, but come on!" Bella says as she leans against the locker next to mine.
"This is nothing. I just wrote down my combination," I lie, putting the paper in my back pocket, "how did you enjoy McLeary today?" I continue.
"Sign me up for suicide watch. I was ready to staple my hand just to make sure I was alive, given my boredom coma."
"What class do you have next?" I ask.
"Yearbook. I get to play god for fifty odd minutes and design the layout of the memories these future losers will dearly hold on to. How about you?"
"I have Art History. Nothing like learning about unconfirmed homosexuals and their hang ups on sculpting the perfect penis."
We laugh and part ways. I pull out the note again and look at the words.
"Jacob. I still get you."
Wow. That makes my heart jump just a bit.
At Lunchtime Bella and Jessica reconvene with me. We gossip a bit before Bella drops a heavy load on us.
"So, I've had every class so far today with Edward Cullen."
Jessica practically melts. I pull out some brutal honesty.
"Ah, Edward Cullen. I think when he gets up in the morning he puts so much gel in his hair to produce the effortless 'I totally just rolled out of bed' look that it covers up his already minimal personality. In fact I think a bulimic leaves bigger chunks of personality in the toilet that what Edward Cullen has going for him. And if you like him, I readily do not approve."
Jessica laughs, and so does Bella but in a more contrived way. "Well asshole, I do like him, and I invited him to sit with us."
Jessica leans in to whisper. "Bullshit you did! Do you know that whenever one of them goes somewhere, they all go?"
"Jessica is right, Bella! Inviting one of them is like saying Party over Here for the rest of them!"
"I think it's good for some of you to get out of your comfort zones. Besides, didn't you and Emmett used to be something back in the day?" Bella asks, nonchalantly sipping her apple juice.
"OMG, were you gay with Emmett?" Jessica asks alarmingly.
"No! We just used to be friends! Bella don't refer to a dead friendship as a 'something' ever again! You're going to jump start Jessica's overreaction engines."
Used to be something? Emmett and I are…well we were only friends. Now that I'm allowing myself to think about it, I do miss him and it did hurt when our friendship fell apart. Wow, it sounds like we broke up or something. I can understand Jessica's gay perception.
That's when the Cullen Posse saunters over to our table. They all take a seat where they please. Emmett sits diagonally from me. He doesn't make eye contact.
"Hi guys! Thanks for letting us sit with you!" Alice says with sincerity. Wow, that girl is the sunshine of the earth. I want to be her friend instantly. She practically exudes pixie dust and unicorns.
Edward sits next to Bella and they chat amongst themselves for a bit.
During the lunch period, Jessica and I attempt to make some conversation with the rest of the Cullens. Alice is fun and easy to talk to. Jasper adds his two sense here and there, still looking like someone took a shit on his lap and he's not too sure what to do next. Rosalie gossips along with Jessica, so those two are hitting it off. Emmett cracks a few hilarious jokes, and all in our entire table set up isn't so bad. Bella and Jessica clearly like Emmett a lot. He is naturally charming, I'll give him that.
As I get up to throw away my trash, Emmett gets up and walks with me.
"Your friends are pretty cool," he says.
"Yea, well," I say with boredom.
Emmett pushes me in a teasing manner. I smile back at him. "What?" I ask.
"You're such a hard ass!" he jokes.
"So what do you do for fun?" He questions.
"Dude, we're not playing twenty questions right now!" I say.
Emmett grins, like he's winning a game. "Okay, well I have football practice after school everyday during the week except Wednesday. We should hang out then. I could beat you up like I used to," he suggests with an even brighter watt smile.
"As I recall, I drop your ass with ease!"
"Yea, well even though you muscled up a bit, I'm stronger than you now, and better over all," Emmett says with a shrug, his massive shoulder muscles blaring under his off white cotton shirt.
"We'll see. This friend thing doesn't happen over night," I say with honesty, making tension. Emmett puts his hands up in surrender and walks back to his seat. I sit back down and look diagonally to see him offer another wink to me. Creeper 101. Winks send the right kind of shiver that says "I'm a seemingly high functioning member of society but I'm actually creeptastic."
Funny. That's what I'm thinking but his winks actually kind of thrill me, like a secret reward.
After school I walk to my car and see Emmett across the parking lot. We look at each other. The way we stare…it's strange. Like we just had to. I look away first. That damn Emmett Cullen. Something about him is off. He is extremely outgoing, but so far it's like he puts his energy on dim for me, like he's trying to…I don't want to say impress me, but he's trying to coax some kind of approval out of me, that much I can feel.
Later that I night I look at the cell number Emmett left for me. I lay the paper on my bare chest and contemplate the implications of texting him. Do I really want to involve myself with him?
I chose not to…at least not tonight. I turn off the light and put the paper on my nightstand. I need to sleep on him-I mean sleep on THIS.
Sleep on this.