You're in the middle of the park, sitting on the swings, going back and forth tardily, looking out into the nothingness of the place in front of you.
The nothingness that you wish you could have. But hell, you have more than just nothing. You have a whole hell of a lot more than nothing. You have a complicated mess stretched out in front of you as if you're playing a chess game. And sometimes, the pieces won't move and you don't know what to do, don't know how to fix the problem in front of you.
So you sit, watching the scenes play out in front of you, and think of what you could have done, what you could have done to fix that small problem. But the problem won't go away. It stays there, making you even more baffled of what you could have done, what you could have done to fix it.
But you realize, no one can help you, no one can fix this problem, not even the married man you fell in love with you, not even the stranger you picked up at the bar, and not even the man who is in love with you, but is too afraid to tell you. Because all of them have their own problems to deal with.
So, in a desperate way to fix these problems of yours, you go back to the place you once loved, once adored, once thought of as the best place to be in the world.
But even the best place in the world won't fix the damn problems.
Because it was just that easy.
"Meredith?"
You hear his voice, his words slurred and rushed in attempt to get your attention. And you blame him for messing up your perfect little nothingness.
You turn your head, your stomach churning with embarrassment of him finding you here.
And you're not surprised that he is smiling, smiling at the irony of it. But you are surprised when he doesn't say anything and sits down in the empty swing beside you.
And you laugh as he falls out. And he laughs too, but knows deep down inside that you're laughing at him, not with him, and he laughs even more at the thought of it.
"Oh how ironic," he says sarcastically, lifting himself up off the ground, trying his hardest to maintain composure.
But as he sits back down, you can't help but wonder if he did it on purpose, maybe just to see you smile, to see the happiness in your eyes come back, even if it was just for a few, quick seconds. So you keep the smile on your face, just to make him happy. Maybe, you think, it will fool him.
Because it was just that easy.
You sit in silence with him, knowing that you don't have to say anything to understand why the both of you are here at this moment in time, at this point of your life, at this point of your personal lives.
And as you both steal a glance at the same time, you wonder what it would feel like to not love him. What would have happened if you hadn't met him in the bar right before your internship? What would have happened if you did draw the line and he didn't try to win you over?
And you know, it would have happened anyway; you would have met at another point of time, another point in your life.
Because it was just that easy.
After you catch yourselves staring at one another, you don't try to look away, you don't try to deny the fact that you can't keep your eyes off one another, and you both can't help but want each other.
But the moment is broken when his face breaks out into one of those award-winning smiles, the smile that got you the first night.
And you blame him, again, for making you fall in love with him.
Because it was just that easy.
You look away, finally, as you kick the dirt under your feet, watching the small clods going their separate ways.
"Love has a habit of coming back," he says, staring directly at her, not around her, not beside her, but straight at her.
And as you leave the park with him, his arm around your shoulder, you know that everything is going to be all right.
Because it was just that easy.
-
Derek and Meredith,
Don't deny your love. Please.
- Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you? – Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan