Music For An Ordinary Time

Characters: Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale, Jesse Swanson

Movie: Pitch Perfect

Summary: Beca doesn't believe in romance & happy endings. It takes her years, a few weddings, a divorce and other forces of nature to realize that life begins outside one's comfort zone. A story about loss, love,friendships,transitions,growing up, acceptance, new beginnings, LIFE. Sequel to "Remembrance of Songs Past".

Note: Old story, edited/revised for brevity and conciseness. Nothing owned, nothing gained.

Chapter 1

Power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it. - Madonna

Beca had forgotten her lunch date with Jesse.

She'd stayed up all night in front of her laptop alternately mixing music and listening to Moby, Prodigy, Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim, 8-Ball, Mum, Sigur Ros, the entire soundtrack of "The Beach" and "Trainspotting", completely fascinated by this entire genre of music that she's managed to miss. She'd spent that whole time lying on her bed, eyes closed, large headphones on her ears, losing herself in the music. She'd actually fallen asleep to the music. She'd forgotten to set the alarm on and as a consequence, slept through the morning, and would have slept through the whole day had it not been for her phone, ringing very loudly, calls from friends - Fat Amy, Stacie, Cynthia Rose, Denise, Jessica's - all promptly going to voicemail. She wonders why everyone is calling her, before she realizes she's late for her lunch date with her husband.

The next few minutes thus are spent spitting out expletives as she jumps out of bed, searches for a clean pair of jeans, a top and long-sleeved shirt she could put on it. She glances at the clock and realizes there is no time to shower, so she pulls her hair back in a ponytail, grabs her keys and purse, puts on her shoes, slams the door of the apartment behind her and upon realizing that her car won't start, and that she cannot find a taxi and the bus will never come on time, decides to jog the few blocks to the latest happening exotic restaurant that Jesse wants to try.

She squints against the sun. She has forgotten her shades and the L.A. sun is harsher and brighter than usual against her eyes. It is hot and she is sweating and she is feeling uncomfortable and after a few blocks she's wheezing and out of breath and curses herself for not going to the gym like she'd promised herself she would. She stops, leans over, rests her palms on her thighs and takes a few deep breaths. Already she feels her side hurting, feels her lungs and throat burn from the exertion, feels her heart pound wildly against her chest. Through the ringing in her ears, she tries to rehearse the nth excuse she's going to tell Jesse for missing the nth date he's set up for them. Traffic? Work? A business meeting? No. She discards each lame excuse as quickly. She's a bad liar anyway. She goes with the truth in this one: she overslept, because she stayed up late, because she was doing her mixes for her gigs, and she'd forgotten to set the alarm, and her car wouldn't start, yada-yada. Jesse would understand. Jesse always understands. Jesse will grin and shake his head and roll his eyes and say, "What am I going to do with you, Beca?" before he puts his arms around her, kisses her forehead and leads her to some movie theater or other for the requisite movie date or otherwise that Jesse insisted they would have ever since they started dating. He, of course, will inevitably give her a running commentary on the film currently being shown, starting from the opening credits, to the acting, to the directing, to the lighting, to the cinematography, to the costume designs, and of course, the soundtrack, always the soundtrack. Lately, his running commentaries have become lengthier, even more agitated, like he's afraid of the emptiness that the silences between his commentaries opens up, preferring instead to fill the emptiness with words and Beca lets him, finding it much better to just let him talk and talk and talk, rather than make him shut up. Beca almost wishes they would check out the Asian Cinema Festival currently showing downtown, since Asian films had a reputation for minimalism that Beca liked, and which almost always shut Jesse up. She remembers that time she and Jesse had done the Asian movie marathon and Jesse had felt restless and disconcerted, not knowing what to make of Akira Kurosawa's films that featured mostly silences and a lot of body language and the elements. They thought it had only been Kurosawa's films, but they'd tried to watch Zhang Yimou's films and it had been the same, and they'd checked out Iranian and Thai and Korean films and they'd all been the same as well. What freaked Jesse out the most where the horror and thriller films, the ones from Japan, "The Ring", "The Grudge" and Park Chan Wook's "Old Boy" - all movies that featured horrifying scenes and sparse dialogue and no music to accompany the terror of a story unfolding in all its glorious horror. Jesse had tried to rectify it by watching European films with her, but that one time they'd watched "Let the Right One In" had Jesse feeling even more depressed. When Beca had wisely raised the issue of his love for Alfred Hitchcock movies and the music that Hitchcock used in most of his movies, Jesse only shrugs, finding Hitchcock fascinating but not in a way that would freak him out. Jesse could not make heads or tails with it - Jesse, with his happy endings and his feel-good movies, his "good-triumphing-over-evil", "glass-is-half-full", roses and balloons and rainbows and sunshine outlook on life - could not deal with the darkness, the dreariness, the despair and desolation that these films depicted. Beca finds that she likes these movies, quite enjoys them, finds them a bit more realistic, more believable, though she would rather not say anything to Jesse. Years of being with Jesse has schooled her in the fine art of cinema appreciation ("Cinema, Beca, not movies," he would tell her, clearly offended by how much recent movies have devolved since big movie studios took over), but she has never shared his love for the easy and more accessible feel-good blockbuster Steven Spielberg-George Lucas type of movies, preferring Renoir, Godard, Coctaeu, Bergman, Rossellini and aforementioned Asian filmmakers. The sparseness and minimalism serve the kind of art she can find herself appreciating, getting immersed in, and it reflects the kind of person she is. She finds most movies nowadays very boring and predictable anyway, and the soundtrack produced by these same movies equally incredibly boring, predictable and forgettable. Mostly she finds movie soundtracks, especially those for drama and thrillers, manipulative and contrived, intended to elicit some kind of emotion from the audience, compensating with manipulative music when the story is lacking.

She stops, realizing something. That's the thing isn't it? Jesse's just so different from her. She'd already noticed this when they were dating in college, and had obviously noticed this right through graduation and the moving in together that wasn't really moving in together because as soon as they both moved to L.A. they'd both landed gigs, and right through their wedding and marriage - but that difference has never been made more evident than now, when even their movie preferences vary so greatly as to seem so incompatible. She shakes these thoughts away from her mind though as she resumes walking.

She wonders what time it is and realizes she has forgotten her watch - the watch Jesse had given her for her birthday. To her horror, she's realized she's forgotten her wedding ring also. She feels entirely naked without it, seeing the empty space on the ring finger on her left hand where the ring is supposed to be and she feels slightly guilty for having forgotten it on the dresser where's she's put it last night. She takes it off when she gets home, especially when she starts working on her laptop, mostly because she feels slightly impeded by it, feels constricted by it when she's working. Nevertheless she curses herself for having forgotten it now.

She stops at a red light and impatiently waits for it to turn green, hoping Jesse wouldn't feel so angry at her. She wonders how she can make it up to him and runs through the many things she's done in the past that has helped her get into his good graces.

By the time she gets to the restaurant, it's been a good forty five minutes or so and she already knows, even without asking the waitperson, or looking around, that Jesse has left. She knows Jesse always keeps his appointments, and always comes on time, or at least a few minutes before, and as she stands by the sidewalk, wondering what to do next, she decides to head back. She reaches into her pocket to give Jesse a call but then realizes she's forgotten her mobile phone also. "Fuck," she mutters angrily, feeling stupid for having forgotten her mobile phone as well. As she stands there, wondering what to do next, she spies a cab slowing down and stopping just in front of the restaurant, so she hurriedly gets into cab, gives the cab driver instructions on where to go and settles back on the seat as the cab driver guns it down the street to their apartment.

At first, Beca thinks Jesse isn't home.

The apartment looks empty, nothing is out of the ordinary.

When she unlocks the door, she doesn't see anyone at first, but then as she drops her keys on the table by the front door, she hears a barely audible sound coming from the living room and as she walks down the hallway and into the room, she sees Jesse, sprawled on the couch, back towards her, watching what seems to be their wedding video. She stops just by the entrance to the living room, eyes going from the back of Jesse's head, to the video itself, as the shaky camera videos Jesse and the other former members of the Treblemakers duking it out on an old-fashioned riff-off with the former members of the Barden Bellas, Aubrey, Fat Amy, Stacie, Chloe and the others. She sees everyone laughing and toasting and singing, always the singing. And she sees herself in one corner, just watching everyone else, and then cut to the next scene, when she's tossing the bridal bouquet and Jessica, Jessica catches it and the camera zooms in on Jessica grinning triumphantly as she brandishes the bouquet in front of her like a talisman. Beside her, Beca sees Justin, tone deaf a capella fanatic, grinning and giving everyone else a thumb's up sign. Then Beca realizes something. Oh, shit. Jessica and Justin's wedding. It's next month. Or is it a few weeks from now? Or maybe a few days? Fuck, she thinks to herself. She could swear she has the invite somewhere. She knows she's confirmed herself and her husband, but she isn't entirely sure when the wedding is supposed to be. When did she get so absent-minded and forgetful? She wants to kick herself for this.

As she stands there, lost in her own thoughts, she notices a subtle movement from Jesse, notices Jesse's right hand go up to his face. She wonders if he's tired. She knows he'd just come back from Vancouver, where he'd been shooting a CWB television show, one of those teen shows that's such a hit these days, except this time he's not passing himself off as a teenager anymore, but as one of the teachers. She'd just caught the latest episode on the internet and it had been a good episode, and she finds herself wondering, for the nth time, how the guy who'd dreamed of making movie soundtracks for Hollywood, ended up being an actor instead. A freak accident, she thinks. Once they both graduated, they'd both moved to L.A., Beca to pursue DJing and Jesse his dream of creating soundtracks for movies. But he'd been spotted once during a Trebles performance by an agent, who signed him right then and there, and predictably, his first gig, his debut, is a movie musical, one which becomes a minor hit, and it allows him to get more acting jobs and as he becomes more in-demand - directors like working with him because he has a nice, non-threatening, likeable face and personality that the audience can easily relate to, producers like him because he has an impressive work ethic and an attitude that proclaims to the world that he likes what he is doing, actors like working with him because unlike other actors, he shows up to work on time, knows his lines, is not drug-addled or intoxicated, rarely has to do more than a couple of takes per scene, gets along with everyone, the media like him because he is always polite and generous in his interviews, fans like him because he always tries to accommodate them, shippers like him because he doesn't take ship names so seriously. He has become the go-to guy for any movie exec looking for an earnest boy-next-door type of guy who can easily build chemistry with his co-star and he has built a small, steady career out of playing boy-next-door types with a loyal fanbase and a steady paycheck. The more acting jobs he got, the farther away from his movie-soundtrack-making-dream he was, and although at first he'd bemoaned this fact, and the fact that he never got to see Beca or that he never even got to do stuff like kick back and relax, lately he seems to have accepted this and has even started enjoying his life.

She must have made some kind of movement because Jesse suddenly starts and turns around and sees Beca there, behind him, staring at him, and Beca offers a feeble, apologetic smile as she says, "Hey."

"Hey," he says, smiling automatically at her.

Beca smiles back. There is a silence that punctuates this exchange of greetings and Beca is suddenly aware of how awkward everything seems to be. Jesse is silent, as if debating what to say next. Beca doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do, as she stands there, feeling a bit ridiculous and stupid. She doesn't know whether Jesse is upset or not, and doesn't know how to start apologizing to him. She stands there, shifting her weight from one foot to the next, feeling restless as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

The silence stretches, interrupted only by the ticking of the clock on the wall, the clock that Jesse also bought her because she just refuses to wear a watch and prefers to use her mobile phone to check the time.

She suddenly can't stand the silence and the awkwardness, so she blurts out, "You weren't at the restaurant."

Jesse is quiet for a little while, before he runs his hand on his dark mop of hair and says, "Yeah. I'd been waiting for a couple of hours. I thought you weren't coming. So I left."

Oh, shit, Beca thinks. She'd been off by at least three hours at least, if Jesse had been waiting a couple of hours at the restaurant. He'd been gone an hour when she'd arrived.

Beca doesn't know what to say to her husband. Jesse's face is expressionless, unreadable. There are dark circles under his eyes, his eyes a bit reddish, from lack of sleep she thinks. There is a tiredness around him, a slump to the shoulders, a sense of defeat, that Beca doesn't understand. She ignores it in favor of an apology.

"I'm so sorry," she begins, taking a tentative step towards her husband. "I'd been working all night at the club, and kind of got some ideas for some mixes and kind of stayed up all night trying to do some mixes and I forgot to set the alarm and I overslept and the car wouldn't start and…"

Jesse nods absent-mindedly, indicating that he'd noticed the car outside. He cuts her off before she can continue though, and before she gets to the couch. "Beca, we need to talk."

Beca knits her eyebrows. Jesse's tone is serious, his expression somber. She wonders briefly what he wants to talk about. She knows she's missed a few lunch and dinner dates with him and knows that with the crazy working hours they both keep, plus the places that both their jobs take them (last time, Jesse had been in Prague shooting a movie, and she'd been in New York dj-ing) had turned their life upside down, and they hadn't been spending time together as much as they should, ever since they graduated from college, but that's to be expected with the kind of jobs they'd taken on. She is about to speak again, about to apologize again, when she takes a seat beside him, when Jesse puts up a hand. With the other hand, he pauses the video, takes his time doing so, before he turns to Beca again.

Jesse looks at Beca for a long time, not speaking, only studying her face with his dark eyes that Beca starts to feel uncomfortable and begins to squirm in her seat. But before she could speak, Jesse sighs and says, "Beca…as you know I love you…"

Beca smiles. "I love you, too."

Jesse smiles sadly now. "I know you do, Beca. But…" and here he stops, hesitates, knits his eyebrows, as if he is thinking what to say next, before he says, "Lately, I've been feeling…unhappy…"

This statement, at first, feels lost on Beca, doesn't even sink in as Jesse continues to speak. Jesse, thinking Beca needs more elaboration, hurriedly explains, "Now, don't get me wrong. I've been really happy with you, and we've had some awesome times together…but…I don't know…I've had a lot of time to think about this and I think…I think…we need to spend some time apart…"

It takes seconds for what Jesse has said to sink in before Beca says, in confusion and disbelief, "Spend some time apart? What do you mean? We already spend so much time apart, Jesse…"

Jesse nods. "I know, I know, Beca. But that's the thing, we've never actually been together, like, as a couple, a proper married couple, doing all these things, since we got married, or even before."

"Well, that can be easily remedied," Beca says. "We could do all that old married couple stuff if you wanted. But you're always off somewhere shooting a television show or other…"

"And you're off to god knows where dj-ing for some new, hot and happening club or other," Jesse says, with a smile.

Beca nods, understanding. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess we should…figure this out or something, right?"

Jesse smiles again. "Except you love your job and I have all these commitments and…"

Beca shrugs. "I'm sure we can work this out…"

Jesse shakes his head. "You don't understand, Beca," Jesse says, softly now. "I…For the longest time…Beca..I've been feeling like…I don't know…"

Jesse hesitates, and he looks down at his hands, studies his fingers, and Beca follows his gaze, and finds that like her, he isn't wearing their wedding ring either, and in that instant, something dawns on Beca, something that being with someone for ten years, used to their habits and mannerisms and speech patterns and quirks, makes her realize what he is trying to say and she blurts it out before she could stop herself, "Are you breaking up with me?"

And Jesse swallows and somehow manages to look uncomfortable and ashamed and embarrassed and foolish and sheepish and pained all at the same time and he hesitates and in that hesitation, Beca realizes that he is, that he is trying to break up with her and as this becomes clear to Beca, Beca feels something stir within her, anger, disbelief, but mostly anger, as she stares at Jesse and says, "Seriously, Jesse? Seriously?"

"I'm…I'm…not…I just need a break…From this…From us….Maybe we need some time apart…" Jesse starts to stammer then, he starts to ramble, ramble about a lot of things, start to rattle off all the things he thinks are wrong in their relationship, but Beca doesn't hear any of it, in fact, her mind starts to drift off as she just continues to stare at her husband, now soon-to-be ex-husband as he talks about moving out and packing his things, and how he's actually started renting a place in this quiet neighborhood somewhere and in an instant, she can remember thinking that they seemed okay, last time they saw each other. They'd gone out on a date, had caught up with each other's lives, had even made plans on what they were going to do on their tenth anniversary…

Oh, fuck, Beca realizes. She's forgotten their anniversary. She had fucking forgotten their anniversary. She wants to kick herself now. Maybe she can still do some damage control before it's too late.

So as Jesse rambles on and on and on, she comes back into the conversation and says, "It's the date, isn't it? You're pissed off I'd forgotten today was our anniversary. Jesse…I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to…seriously. It kind of slipped my mind…"

Jesse gives her a glare. "How could our anniversary just slip your mind?" he asks now.

His reaction to that confirms, in Beca's mind, why he's suddenly on this break-up tangent and she hurriedly tries to repair whatever damage she's done, going through possible apologies she could say, but Jesse doesn't let her, in fact, he looks at Beca now with much sadness and he says, "This is like the hundredth time you've forgotten our anniversary."

"That is so not true and you know it," Beca says.

"Yes it is," Jesse says now, his voice suddenly louder. "Yes, it is," he says, softly now. He stops now, thinking of his next words, before he looks up and says, "Beca…I…We…"

Beca cuts him off. "There's someone else isn't it?"

When Jesse hesitates, looks at Beca, puzzled, Beca knows this is all the confirmation she'll ever need as she says, "Oh, my god, there is. There so is."

As she stands up and goes to the window, heart suddenly beating wildly away in her chest, Jesse stands up and goes to her, and says, "Beca…I…"

"Look me in the eye and tell me there isn't someone else," Beca demands now, looking at him directly.

For a moment, Jesse recoils from the anger he can see in Beca's eyes. He begins to deny it, before looking up and sighing and decides against it when he sees Beca's glare directed at him. Then, with a slump of defeat, he says, "Yeah. There's someone else, Beca. There's someone else."

Beca doesn't know what possesses her to do what she does next.

But as she looks at Jesse with his boy band looks and his boy band niceness and his boy band voice, she kind of starts thinking about other things, wonders if this is really happening, wonders if the guy she's been with since college has just decided to break up with her and she finds her anger that has been slowly building up inside her, a cold, cold, coil of anger spring up and as Jesse leans over Beca finds her left hand curling into a fist and in a split second her left fist springs up and connects with Jesse's face and she hears the crack of bone as she hits Jesse's nose and it all seems to happen in slow motion as she sees his face crumple up with pain, sees his head snap back, hears him yelp with pain, sees him land on the floor on his knees with a thud.

Then as she stands there staring at him moaning about his nose, sees a bit of the blood coming down from his nose, she finds herself kicking him hard with a powerful kick to the groin and she hears his sharp intake of breath as the pain hits him full force and he falls down on the floor, writhing in pain as she feels the anger recoil, feels herself calm down.

And she steps over him, stops, says, "I'll be gone in a few hours. You'd better be gone when I'm back", before she marches towards the front door, grabs her keys, and slams the door behind her with a painful finality that seems to send a jolt of pain through her.

She pauses by the doorstep, briefly not knowing what to do, before she takes a deep breath, and walks off down the street.