Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
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It is not easy, nothing near easy, getting up this first morning.
'Nothing will be the same, ever again.' Blaine can push the thought away every single time, but it does not stop it from coming back.
And all through the first two weeks Blaine cannot stop, cannot help but feel haunted somehow. 'Who knew you can be haunted by losing something … someone.' He had before, always, thought of ghosts as something you gain.
Rationally he is aware he has not lost Kurt '… yet.' And even if they decide to go their separate ways for one year '… it doesn't mean it's over, it doesn't mean we are over,' he thinks lying awake in bed one night.
By the end of week three Blaine is positive he is going insane. 'How else could it be explained …,' seeing Kurt everywhere he goes; to visit Jeff at Dalton, to visit Pavarotti's grave.
One afternoon he even spends almost two whole hours visiting Kurt's mom – just sitting there on the ground covered in autumn leaves, in front of her grave, talking to Elly Hummel Beloved mother and wife, light of our lives now and forever about "The leaves are full of color again now. It makes me miss Kurt even more, his clothes," Blaine smiles thinking of how wonderful Kurt is always to look at, dressed and naked, and then he is blushing almost magenta bright, wondering if Elly might right now be reading his thoughts, and what she thinks of it if so, 'Happy for us, for Kurt's happiness, mine too,' Blaine dares to think the answer then stumbles on with his words, "His … his …, breathing in warmth when I hug him. Feeling him bursting with how much we love each other when I hold him, and he holds me, I think that's what I miss most. I love Kurt so much, he is so so amazing, Elly. So amazing. I've visited Burt too since Kurt left for New York. He always looks proud and sad at the same time now. I don't know how they went on without you. Without Kurt, I … I feel so stuck sometimes. I'm thinking of running for senior class president in school, McKinley. I don't know if he told you, but Kurt ran last year. It meant so much to him, he wanted to make so many things better. He didn't win. Maybe … I, I'm thinking, maybe, I can … I have to at least try and … I want to … I need to be as brave as he was last year. Kurt has always been the brave one out of us. Sure, I stopped that slushy from hitting him las…, oh, I bet you don't even know this story yet …."
And Blaine keeps talking and talking until it is all out there. He feels so much lighter when he gets up and tenderly placing his left hand onto the gravestone for a moment says, "Goodbye, Elly. And, thank you," before he walks back towards the exit of the graveyard, smiling as he watches the tree leaves, yellow and red, above his head, shine magma and golden in the late afternoon sun.
A/N: Here is my idea why Blaine might be running for Senior Class President. What do you reckon?