Letting Go, a glee fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or the characters herewith that appear on the FOX TV series. This is a work of fan fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Letting Go

Chapter One: Here Comes Summer

It was exactly two minutes after midnight, or so declared the digital display on his iPhone's screen. Placing the mobile phone beside his pillow, the young man sighed and gave in to the fact that he was a long way from sleep.

He lay still in the middle of his bed, fully aware of every single thing going on around him. The constant ticking of his wall clock, the barely-there dripping of the faucet in the adjacent bathroom, the sporadic hum of cars passing by their house, even the infrequent barking of dogs in the distance – he could hear them all in the dead silence of his room.

Today was judgment day. Today was the day they had tried to avoid ever discussing, but Kurt Hummel knew that they had been hiding behind anxious smiles and apprehensive glances. Alas, today was graduation day.

Not his, though. Kurt had a little more suffering to go through at Dalton Academy – the all-boys high school in Westerville, Ohio that he attended. This was where he met Blaine; when he transferred in the middle of his sophomore year after a bullying-gone-too-far incident at his old high school, McKinley High. This was also where he incessantly fell in love with the Dalton Warbler's lead soloist, and vice versa.

Blaine was more than Kurt could ever ask for in a boyfriend. He was patient and gentle, funny and extremely intelligent. Blaine was also incredibly talented and totally gorgeous –Kurt loved how he always looked really sexy in his Dalton uniform. He was a lot of things Kurt couldn't even put words to, but he was also, regrettably, graduating later that day.

Kurt pulled his pillow up and over his face, as he tried to clear his mind. Sooner or later, he'd have to come to terms with the fact that, after the coming summer, Blaine would be miles away in New York City being an awesome theatre major at NYU – as he undoubtedly would be – while Kurt would still be stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Groaning to himself, Kurt forced his eyes close and cleared his head of all things Blaine.

Waiting patiently by the sidelines, Kurt watched in amusement as Blaine was swallowed up by classmates and fellow graduating Warblers. He detected tears here and there, but other than a paltry few, most of the guys were trying to smother their emotions.

Kurt had watched the graduation ceremony from the bleachers, beside Blaine's parents. It was such a relief for Kurt that Blaine's parents accepted him and treated him with utmost kindness. So when he received a call from Blaine's mom, Nancy, to join them during the special occasion, Kurt was beyond touched.

He'd held Nancy's hand tightly in his during Blaine's valedictory speech, where he talked about "hopes and dreams being built" and "surpassing even the greatest impediment". He'd laughed when Blaine's dad, Richard, stood up and shouted "That's my son!" at the top of his lungs as soon as Blaine ended his speech. Soon, the ceremony came to a close.

Then, standing with Nancy and Richard as they waited for their son to say his proper goodbyes, Kurt felt a gentle hand squeezing his wrist. Taking the perfectly manicured hand in his own, Kurt smiled. "They grow up fast, don't they?" he said as he looked up at Nancy.

Nancy giggled through her tears and wrapped her arm around Kurt's shoulders, pulling him close. "Yes, they do."

"You two will have me crying," Richard's booming voice broke into the solemn moment.

"Oh, hush," Nancy scolded light-heartedly. "Besides, not even a minute into Blaine's speech, you've already been wiping away those tears. Don't even deny it."

Kurt laughed as Nancy and Richard exchanged amused smiles.

"I see you guys will be perfectly happy without me," Blaine said as he approached the trio.

"Oh, Blaine!" Nancy cried out as she pulled her son into a tight hug. "Congratulations, sweetheart. That speech! That speech was moving. It had your dad crying."

Blaine laughed as he reciprocated his mom's embrace. Then, letting go his mom, he caught his dad in a one-arm hug.

"Congratulations, son. You make me so proud. And don't you believe a word your mother says," Richard said as he squeezed Blaine around the shoulders. "I'm a tough old man. I don't do tears."

"Of course, you are," Blaine said with a roll of his eyes.

Kurt smiled as Blaine turned to look at him. "I'm glad you were able to make it."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," Kurt answered.

Nancy beamed and placed her hand on her son's shoulder. "Honey, we'll go ahead. We'll see you for dinner though, okay?"

Blaine nodded as he gave his mom another hug. "I'll see you later. Thanks, you guys."

Richard turned to Kurt and patted him on the shoulder. "Will you be joining us for dinner, Kurt?"

"I will, thanks for inviting me," Kurt replied with a smile.

"Oh, honey. You're welcome anytime, you know that," Nancy said before she and Richard turned to leave.

As soon as his parents were gone, Blaine turned to Kurt with a worried look. Kurt just meekly smiled, looking down at his shiny Prada shoes. With a shake of his head, and a weary sigh, Blaine pulled Kurt to him. "Oh, you. Don't be like that." Wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and burying his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, Blaine took a deep breath. "It's not like I'll be gone forever."

"I know. I'm sorry for being such a baby," Kurt said, pulling away with a soft laugh.

"Such a big baby," Blaine said, laughing.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You secretly love it that I care so much."

Blaine just smirked, draped his arm around Kurt's shoulder and they started walking towards the parking lot.

"Meanwhile," Blaine said as they sat on the steps of the Hummel's front porch. "We still have six weeks to be awesome together.

Dinner had been wonderful, and after profusely thanking Nancy and Richard, Kurt let Blaine drive him home. The drive from the restaurant to the Hummel's was tense and neither of them even attempted to break the ice. It was only once they were seated on the porch that Kurt continued their conversation from earlier that afternoon.

"I know you said that nothing's gonna change between us," Kurt said softly. "But you can't honestly believe that."

Blaine brushed his fingers through his curls. "Okay. Honestly, Kurt? I know things are going to change. That's inevitable – in any relationship. But, I honestly believe that we'll be better for it."

Kurt shrugged and leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt and softly dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "Listen to me. I know New York City is far. And it will be hard – for both of us – but trust me, we'll make it work."

"You just made me think of Tim Gunn," Kurt complained.

Blaine burst out laughing. "Make it work!"

"Quit it," Kurt said, giggling to himself.

"It made you smile," Blaine said quietly. "And I will never quit wanting to put a smile on your face."

Kurt buried his face against Blaine's chest. "Dear god, even for us, this is unbelievably cheesy."

Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Kurt whispered, trying his best to push back tears. Closing his eyes, he reminded himself that Blaine wasn't leaving yet. Mourning right now would be highly premature and severely tacky. He never did see himself as the clingy type – but then again, he'd never fallen in love like this before.

"Kurt, I hate to end the night like this," Blaine said as he released his hold on the younger man. "But it's late and it's a long drive back to Marysville..."

Kurt nodded. "Of course," he said as he started to get up. "You need to get going."

"I'll call you tomorrow," Blaine said as he, too, stood up. "And I'll text you as soon as I get home."

Kurt smiled. "Okay. Good night, you perfect human being, you."

"Shut up." Blaine laughed as he pulled Kurt toward him. After placing a gentle kiss on Kurt's lips, Blaine backed off and slowly descended the steps. And it was only when he was halfway down the driveway that he turned around to face Kurt. "Good night, Hummel."

Kurt watched as Blaine slowly drove off. Left alone, Kurt sat back down on the steps and stared off into the distance.

I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand and I can't barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely

I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

Finally, Kurt stood up and headed toward their front door but kept on singing that Beyonce song. It was just so utterly befitting of his current state of mind.

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely

I cry at night 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you I'll stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

Up in his room, Kurt shut the door and sat on his bed, facing the wall above the headboard. A couple of years ago, he'd put a huge corkboard up there where he collected random photos from school (both from McKinley and Dalton) and many cut outs from fashion magazines. Looking at Blaine's happy face staring down at him, Kurt poured his heart out.

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your break when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning, I can't be lonely
And I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

"Good night, Anderson."

"This is hard," Blaine said into his mobile phone. "I've lived here so long, and it's belatedly dawning upon me that there really isn't anything to do in Ohio. There's nothing to see here. Would it be too much to bring Kurt out of state?"

"Blaine," said the girl on the phone. "You know it's not about where you two are. You could be here in Lima, at some rundown park, and Kurt wouldn't even notice."

Blaine blushed furiously, still not able to fully conceive of how much their relationship meant to both of them. Everything just seemed so surreal. Like, he could wake up the next morning only to find out that it all had been just a wonderfully perfect dream.

"Crazy, huh?" Blaine said. "This whole love thing? I... never expected it to happen." Blaine paused for a second, not quite used to talking about his feelings with someone other than Kurt. "Still, Mercedes, I want this to be special."

"I like you, Blaine," said Mercedes. "You take good care of my boy and you have no idea how much that means to me – to us. But, what do you say you keep it in-state, and we'll all have a field day of it?"

"Sounds like you have something in mind."

"Road trip to Sandusky? Do you have anything against roller coasters?" Mercedes asked.

"Cedar Point," Blaine said with a smirk. "That's brilliant. So Warblers and New Directions?"

"This is gonna be insane!" Mercedes laughed.

"And here I thought you were gonna suggest Edgewater," Blaine admitted.

"Never!"

Blaine was already seeing the crazy that was inevitable in place like Cedar Point. The roller coasters, the water rides, the underage drinking at one of the nearby resorts. How can insanity not ensue? And it was utterly perfect.

"It's more or less a two-hour drive to Sandusky from Lima, right?" Blaine said with really waiting for a response. "And then we can all stay at one of those quaint resorts with names like Sandcastle Suites and Camper Village or something. Overnight trip, right?"

"Looks like it," Mercedes answered, already planning an itinerary in her head. "I have to go now, Blaine. But I'll email you suggestions tonight."

"Fantastic! Thanks, sweetie," Blaine said. "You're the best."

"I know I am."

Kurt stared suspiciously at his stepbrother. "What do you mean you can't tell me? Mercedes called and asked for you. That in itself is fishy. Something is going on here, and you're going to tell me what it is, Finn Hudson."

"I... uh... Well... Mercedes wanting to talk to me is fishy?" Finn asked, fidgeting in place. "We're in the same glee club. We go to the same school. So, you know... We're practically twins."

Kurt rolled his eyes in exasperation. Something was a-brewing, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. "Finn," Kurt called out as the taller boy started walking up the stairs. "You can't just walk away."

But Finn just shot Kurt a huge grin and continued to march upstairs.

"Just you wait! One day, when you're out with Puck or wherever it is you disappear to when you're not around, I'm going to sneak into your room and redecorate it. I'm warning you, Finn Hudson. Once I'm done with that monochromatic room of yours, it'll look as though a shining shimmering unicorn got drunk on rainbow-colored margaritas and THREW UP GLITTERS IN THERE!"

At Finn's impervious shrug, Kurt head nearly exploded. "Glitters, Finn! Glitters! AND SEQUINS!"

Ignoring Ryan Seacrest's report on Lindsay Lohan's current whereabouts, Blaine quickly browsed through the email Mercedes had sent. Quirking an eyebrow as he went over the "suggestions" that Mercedes drew out, he had to admit that if anything at all, the girl sure was efficient.

Suggestions re: Cedar Point trip
From: divalicious
To: blaine_anderson
CC: quartz; puckman; Miss_Berry; tina.c

Blaine!

So I was thinking things over earlier, and I've taken the liberty to plan out the weekend for us. Below are a few things we have to have covered (transportation, accommodations, navigation, budget and itinerary).

Attending: Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes, Finn, Rachel, Tina, Mike, Puck, Quinn, Artie, Brittany, Santana, Sam, Lauren, David, Wes, Thad. (Just specify if anyone else. Based on my initial headcount, there are 17 of us. Of course, we still need their confirmations.)

Transportation: Based on headcount of 17
Three (3) cars are needed.
- Kurt's Navigator (7 passengers, including driver)
- Your Lexus (5 passengers, including driver)
- Mike's Ford (5 passengers, including driver)

Accommodations: (c/o Rachel & Tina)
To book either 2 cottages at Lighthouse Point or several rooms at Hotel Breakers.
Note: cottages might come out cheaper.

Navigation: (c/o Finn & Puck)
Need to work out the fastest route to Sandusky, and indicate possible pit stops
Additional task: assign people to vehicles

Itinerary:
Sorry, I do realize that this is more than just an overnight trip. Oops.
Friday
8:00 am – assemble at the Hudson-Hummel residence
8:30 am – ETD
11:00 am – ETA
11:30 am – check-in, settle in, etc.
12:00 pm – lunch somewhere nearby
1:30 pm – activities (i.e. boating at the marina, swimming, Frisbee)
8:00 pm – dinner
9:00 pm – drinks? ;)
Saturday
8:00 am – breakfast
10:00 am – Cedar Point opens
8:00 pm – dinner
10:00 pm – we need some sort of activity here...
Sunday
8:00 am – breakfast
12:00 pm – check-out
1:00 pm – ETD
2:30 pm – ETA

I'll work out the budget and give you a call as soon as I hear back from Rachel and Tina.

These are, of course, suggestions. Feel free to veto anything on the list.

Ciao,
M.

With wide eyes, Blaine pulled out his mobile phone and quickly dialled Mercedes' number. Waiting for Mercedes to pick up, Blaine grabbed the remote from the coffee table and put Seacrest on mute.

"Blaine!" came the excited voice of Mercedes on the other end. "Did you get my email?"

"Girl," Blaine said, smiling. "You are something else. You... Mercedes Jones, you are completely ridiculous and I love you for it. I have no words. At all. I love it."

Mercedes laughed. "Glad you liked it. Sorry that this overnight trip turned out to be a three-day affair though."

"No, no, no," Blaine said reassuringly. "Don't worry. It totally makes sense. Although, count Thad out. He and his family leave tomorrow for Europe – so just Wes and David from the Warblers."

"Okay, cool," Mercedes said. "I have to actually go and ask the others from my end if they can make it. I just assumed that they will want to come with."

Blaine nodded, momentarily forgetting that Mercedes couldn't see him. "Oh, and Mercedes. Don't worry about the budget. I'll cover that."

"Are you for serious?" Mercedes asked, astounded.

"Yeah," Blaine replied. "Just look at this as my going-away present to Kurt. He deserves this."

"If you're sure..."

"I'm positive," Blaine maintained. "It's on me."

Kurt was balancing a plate of Chips Ahoy! in one hand, a bowl of Ben and Jerry's Phish food in the other, and a glass of milk tucked between his right arm and his ribs as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom.

Walking past Finn's room, he could hear Finn murmuring into his phone. Seeing as how Finn was currently single, why was he making sure no one could hear him?

Kurt angled himself closer to Finn's door, wishing for a second that his glass were empty. He always saw people in movies using empty glasses to amplify sound from another room. Kurt had to wonder if that really worked.

Finn was talking in very hush tones that annoyed Kurt to no end. Could Finn be talking to Mercedes?

Standing up straight, Kurt hurried to his room and locked the door behind him. Putting his midnight snack down on his desk, Kurt pulled out his phone and speed dialled Mercedes.

Sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed, Kurt waited for Mercedes to pick up. Three rings... five rings... 8 rings... Kurt reached up to calmly sweep his hair away from his face. The woman was not picking up! When Mercedes' voice mail message began to play, he hastily ended the call and frowned to himself. Those two were up to something. Something that involved Kurt.

Kurt quickly typed out a text and hit send.

Mercedes and Finn are plotting behind my back. This is ominous. –K

Haha. Might not be about you. Don't worry your sweet face over it. – B

Of course it's about me. – K

Right. Narcissism knows no bounds. ;) – B

Whatever. Denial from either of them is futile. – K

Blaine couldn't help laughing at Kurt's texts. The boy was so suspicious! Smirking to himself, Blaine got up off his couch and moved to his four-poster bed.

All you have to do is touch my hand
And show me you understand
And that something happens to me
That some kind of wonderful

Every time our little world seems blue
I just have to look at you
And everything seems to be
Some kind of wonderful

Kicking off his shoes, Blaine put his phone on his bedside table and laid back against his soft downy pillow. Snapping his fingers to the beat only he could hear, he continued to sing that Michael Buble song.

I know I can't express
This feeling of tenderness
There's so much I want to say
But right words don't come my way

I only know when I'm in your embrace
Then this world seems a better place
And something happens to me
And it's some kind of wonderful

Blaine closed his eyes, and smiled to himself, whistling to the music in his head.

And it's wonderful, baby
It's wonderful
Oh, it's so divine

I know I can't express
Oh, this feeling of tenderness
And there's so much I want to say
Ah but the right words don't come my way

I only know when I'm in your embrace
Then this world seems a better place
And something happens to me
You know it's some kind of wonderful

And it's wonderful, baby
Whoa, it's so divine
Oh baby

Memories of when he first met Kurt running through his mind – how he fell crazy yet undeniably in love with the countertenor with the elfin good looks – and Blaine couldn't help but blush to the roots of his curly hair.

And it's wonderful
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I understand
And it's some kind of wonderful

And it's wonderful
Baby, baby, baby, baby please
You know you're some kind of wonderful
Oh baby

So much I want to say

Blaine took out his phone again and quickly sent a message to Mercedes.

You guys are driving him crazy. – B

No more than you do on a regular basis. ;) – M

BTW, everything's all set. I have confirmation, will tell you tomorrow. G'night. – M

Next on Letting Go, the whole gang takes a trip east to Sandusky where the level of insanity ranges from foolish to outrageous. Also, was that Quinn we saw walking along the marina holding hands with... Puck? Uh oh.