A/N: This story occurs in the summer of 1991, shortly after season 1 of Prime Suspect and 12 years after the last episode of Fawlty Towers. If you have no idea about the basis of either show, please read Wikipedia before asking any questions. The BBC and Granada own most of the characters involved.

Jane drove into Torquay around 2:00, slightly ahead of schedule. Strangely, the sign in the front of the hotel said "Flowery Twats" instead of Fawlty Towers. She hoped that the sign wasn't a bad harbinger for the rest of her two week vacation. A tall disgruntled man greeted her at the reception desk. He first claimed that she couldn't find her reservation, but was soon corrected by the screams of a pepperpot. While the owner and his wife argued, Manuel, the manager handed her the keys to Room 12. Vladimir, the bellboy, nearly broke the handle of one of the suitcases. A chair and two pillows were missing. Jane didn't even bother to alert the maid, and she settled into a desperately needed nap.

Not less than five minutes after Jane went upstairs, Basil and Sybil were at it again.:

"Did you see that woman Sybil? She's exactly the type I don't want around here."

"Are you out of your mind Basil?!"

"No I'm not! She's one of those."

"One of those what?"

"One of those lesbians!"

"Shut your bloody mouth! Just because a woman has her hair cut short and wears trousers, it does not mean that she is a lesbian."

"It very well could be. I don't see a ring on her finger."

"Basil don't be silly. A woman can be single, or dating someone."

"Not at her age."

"I'm telling you, she's definitely not a lesbian!"

"We'll see about that. She looks like one to me."

"No you won't see about that! I'm tired of you spying on the guests in the wee hours of the night."

"Whatever you say, sweetie," Basil chirped.

He decided to ignore his wife's demand anyway. The reputation of the hotel was on the line here.

The ding of the bell alerted them to the arrival of their newest guests. Daniel Worthington and William Fuller were in town to close a deal with an antiques dealer.

"Here's the keys for Room 13, Mr. Worthington. And these are for Room 14, Mr. Fuller," Basil said in his most polite tone.

"Forget Room 14. We don't mind sharing Room 13," Fuller said.

"Hotel policy only allows for couples and families to share the rooms," Basil asserted.

"Where is that written?" Worthington inquired.

"Ignore Mr. Fawlty. He's quite mad. Stay in Room 13," Manuel interrupted. "Vlad, take the luggage to 13."

Basil still resented the idea of the two sharing a room, but gave in when he noticed Manuel directing Vladimir to attend to the trunks. He decided to keep an eye on those two. No riffraff pooves were going to destroy the good reputation of the hotel.

Gourmet Night was the theme for the evening. For once, no one made any mistakes. Jane gave compliments to the chef for the crab entrée. The businessmen only ate the salad and spent dinner speaking in hushed tones. Not one complaint found its way to the ears of management. Dessert After an evening of fun and good conversation, the guests retired to their respective rooms.

A/N: In cause you were wondering, pepperpots are middle aged British housewives. This term was first coined by the members of Monty Python. Pooves is the plural for "poof", a British slang term for homosexual.