Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or the world of this story. They belong to a very evil man who lives in Japan. (Why! Why must you torture us readers so!)

Warning: This story contains mentions of boys love, talking about sex, swearing, and broken Japanese. Read at your own discretion.

Note: I came up with this idea when I clicked on a link on the SemeUke site. Those who have browsed through the entire site will probably know what I'm talking about once they've read this. The whole idea is a little crack but I hope I did a decent enough job. *cough* Anyway, enjoy!

Edit: Hi! I wrote this a while ago and decided to come back and edit it so that there weren't anymore errors and so that when I did use Japanese it was in a way that would make sense. Now everything should be a-okay. Now ON WITH THE SHOW!

All was peaceful that day in October as the sun rose slowly over the hills. The villagers of Konoha were opening shops, doing laundry, and preparing breakfast for their families. It looked to be just an ordinary day. For Naruto, however, it would be something else entirely.

He turned off his alarm clock, stretched, and then made his way to the refrigerator. Grabbing the carton of milk, he quickly gulped what was left in the container down: the concept of using a glass not once entering his mind. Tossing the empty carton into the trash he then began making his daily breakfast of cup ramen, all the while humming happily to himself. Today was going to be a wonderful day; after all it was his eighteenth birthday. With a grin he sat down to eat his meal while wondering what his friends had planned for him. Unbeknownst to the blonde, one of his friends was already on his way to the boy's apartment with a strange smile adorning his features.

Sai was not used to having friends. He was also not used to celebrating birthdays. Today was in fact only the second time he had celebrated Naruto's birthday. The first time had ended quite enthusiastically when he had given Naruto his birthday present. It had been a pair of women's underwear. When Sai had explained it was for practical use since the blonde was "dickless", said blonde turned tomato red before swearing loudly at him and jumping up to pummel him. Sai had in turn created one of his ink birds and flew high in the sky where Naruto could not reach him. The next hour or so had been spent with the blonde trying to catch Sai but failing miserably. All in all he felt the day had been splendid. This year, however, Sai wanted to attempt something different.

That previous birthday a certain black haired Uchiha had been present. At the time Sai had wondered if he'd done something to offend the boy, what with the Uchiha glaring at him that entire day. After countless hours of research and a few careful experiments he finally understood why the Uchiha treated him so coldly that day and why he continued to do so especially when Naruto was involved. Sasuke was jealous of Sai, and so logically speaking Sasuke had feelings towards Naruto. When Sai had discovered this he wondered if the same held true for Naruto. His observations indicated that yes, Naruto in fact did. His most recent curiosity was whether or not the two boys were in a relationship that was considered more than friendly. Today was the day he might get the answer to this question. Smile still on his face, Sai made his way to the front door of Naruto's place and knocked.

There was some shuffling around before the door was jerked open. A grinning Naruto quickly turned into a scowling Naruto as he beheld Sai's form in front of him. "What are you doing here Sai?"

Smile still in place Sai answered, "Why I am here to give you your birthday present and to give you my congratulations on surviving another year."

Naruto gave him and the present a funny look. "Thanks... I guess. So what is the gift? It better not be women's underwear again because if it is I swear-"

"I promise it is not women's clothing of any kind," Sai interjected. "Although it is clothing. When I came across it I felt that it would suit you. I sincerely hope that you will wear it today."

That being said Sai handed over the present to Naruto who quickly unwrapped it. The gift turned out to be a gray, long sleeved shirt with a Kanji symbol on it. Naruto regarded the gift carefully, still a bit skeptical. "What does it say?"

"Even a no dick like you should be able to read it. Or did you never learn your Kanji?"

Naruto exploded. "Of course I can read it! I was just testing you! And I do too have a dick!" Realizing he spoke too loudly Naruto peered around for any witnesses to his outburst. Thankfully there were none.

Sai continued to smile. "So are you going to wear it or not?"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks I guess. Now beat it. I need to get dressed."

Sai nodded. "Sure thing. Oh... and before I go there is something I was told to tell you. Sakura says to come meet us at Ichiraku Ramen around dinner time."

"All right then. See you later." With that Naruto slammed the door shut.

Sai chuckled to himself as he left Naruto's apartment complex. If things went well today he would get the answer to his question as well as a great deal of amusement from the blonde boy and the Uchiha. He couldn't wait until later that night.

_Later that night_

Everyone from the old and new team seven, minus the birthday boy, were assembled outside of Ichiraku's. It was almost time for said birthday boy to show up. Three of the five members were carrying gifts. Sasuke and Sai were not. Though it was expected of Sasuke, Sakura was surprised that Sai had nothing for Naruto. When she asked him about it he smiled at her.

"I already gave him his gift this morning," Sai replied. "He said he'd wear it today."

Sasuke glanced at Sai suspiciously. Anything that came from him was probably either stupid or perverted: probably both. "What did you get him?" he inquired coolly.

Sai turned that nerve-grating smile onto him. "You'll see."

Just then the hyperactive blonde came into sight and Sasuke did see, and what he saw made him smirk. The others in their group reacted differently. Sakura's mouth fell open as she gaped at Naruto while the two older Jounin fought to contain laughter.

"Hi guys! Ready to eat? I'm starving!" Naruto exclaimed, happy to be at Ichiraku's. Upon seeing the expressions of the party in front of him Naruto's grin turned to a look of bewilderment. "What's wrong Sakura? And what are you two giggling about?"

"Hn. Dobe."

Naruto glanced at Sasuke. What the hell was with that smirk? He asked the asshole just that. His question just made Sasuke smirk more. "You're honestly wearing a shirt like that?"

Naruto glanced down at his shirt. "A shirt like that? What do you mean? What's wrong with it?"

Sasuke had to stifle a laugh. "You don't know what it says do you?"

The clueless look painted on the blonde's features told as much, which proved to be too much for the gray haired Jounin. He burst out laughing. Yamato, who still tried to conceal his laughter, managed to get out a "Poor Naruto" before he stopped speaking altogether for fear of bursting like his senpai who was now clutching his sides. Sakura realized that this shirt must be the gift Sai had spoke of, and from the look of things no one was going to tell Naruto what the Kanji symbol on the shirt meant. So it was up to her to inform the poor boy.

"Naruto, the symbol on your shirt is the Kanji for Uke. You know what Uke means right?" Looking rather embarrassed she decided to explain anyways since he probably didn't. "Uke refers to the... uh... "receiver" in a male couple during sexual encounters."

Due to the glazed over face Naruto sported she was going to try her best to explain further until he suddenly refocused and turned crimson. She sighed with relief. It looked like he understood the meaning of the symbol now.

"You mean," Naruto squeaked. "I've been walking around the village the entire day with this thing on and it means that? No wonder I kept getting odd looks from the villagers! And Kiba kept laughing at me! Baa-san too! Hinata even fainted! All this time and that's what..." He trailed off, completely dumbfounded by it. Sai was pleased with himself. So far things had worked well.

"Dobe, it's your own fault for wearing that shirt out in the first place," Sasuke chided.

"But! But he!" Naruto exclaimed while pointing wildly at Sai. "He gave it to me! What the heck Sai? Why'd you get me this damned shirt in the first place?"

Sai smiled. "I simply wanted to give you something that stated your role in yours and Sasuke's relationship." There... He'd set out the bait; now to see what became of it.

Immediately there was a facial response from both Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke glowered at Sai whereas Naruto turned surprisingly redder than he already was. Naruto was, of course, the first to actually speak. What he said betrayed his secret and confirmed Sai's suspicions. "I am not the damn Uke! Sasuke's totally that."

Although the admission of roles was the reverse of what Sai had expected them to be, he was still pleased that his hunch had proved correct. That is until Sasuke spoke up. What he said both surprised and amused Sai. "I am not the Uke."

Naruto glared back at Sasuke. "Yes you are! I mean it's obvious that out of the two of us that youwould be the Uke and not me!"

Sasuke threw a condescending smirk at the blonde. "Oh really? And why is that Usuratonkachi?"

"B-because! For one thing your skin; it's really pale and smooth! There are no blemishes or anything! You have the kind of skin every girl dreams of having! Like that one character... uh... oh yeah! Snow White! You have skin like her!"

Sasuke scowled. It's not like he wanted to have perfect skin. It was due to his genes. He'd have to give the idiot that one, but two could play that game. "Your eyes are nicer than mine," the Uchiha smoothly countered.

Naruto froze for a moment. Sasuke thought his eyes were nice? Quickly shaking his head Naruto fired another reason out. "Well your hair is better than mine! Not the style, of course. Your hair looks like a duck's rear, but the texture is a lot silkier than mine! That's gotta show something there!"

"Hn. That I shower," Sasuke launched back. "Besides, you're shorter than me."

"What does that have to do with anything?" growled Naruto. "You're only like two inches taller than me anyway!"

"Try three and a half Dobe."

At that moment Kakashi, who had finally gotten himself under control, saw it a fitting time to give his two cents. "Well Naruto, in a literary sense the shorter male is usually the Uke."

Naruto stared at his former mentor. "So what?" he squawked. "He's still the Uke. I mean it's even in his name! SasUKE!"

Sai was delighted by how things had turned out. He had never in all of his scenarios of this day thought that things would become so lively. He had expected Naruto to react, had hoped Sasuke would as well, but to have the others also join the fray made it that much more interesting. He decided he should add his own bit in. "Well couldn't you also look at it that the Seme is Teme?" Sai inquired with an incline of his head towards Sasuke.

Everyone stopped to look at Sai, some with amused looks, others with enraged glares. It was exciting to be the center of attention. "So by that logic wouldn't that mean that you acknowledge Sasuke as your top since you're the one who calls him that, hmm Naruto?"

"He is not the top!" Naruto roared. He quickly turned to Sakura. "You agree right Sakura? Out of the two of us I'd be the Seme wouldn't I? Sakura? Sakura?"

Sakura, who looked like her brain had just exploded, said nothing. Instead she slowly sunk to the ground on her knees. Naruto flailed around while the Jounin inspected her. As it turned out the girl had fainted. Sai broke out into an all out grin. This day had turned out to be better than he could have ever imagined. And later, as he was chased down the street by copious amounts of Narutos, he continued to feel that way.

_The End_

End Note: I hope you enjoyed it. Any guesses as to whether it's SasuNaru or NaruSasu? I have my own feelings but I figured I'd leave it to your imagination. So let it be whichever you like, whether it's SasuNaru, NaruSasu, or both! ^~^