Hello WWE slash fans and welcome to my first fan fiction in this category. I'm used to video game and anime stories so using real people has been a bit of a challenge especially when I have angles to follow from the past year to deal with but some things fell into place perfectly to get my idea along. Also, a shout out to slaygirl190 whose stories inspired me to write this way.

Pairing: John Cena X CM Punk (a few others will be hinted/touched upon but not stressed)
Rating: NC -17 / M

Summary: CM Punk is harboring secret feelings for John Cena. In order to kill those emotions, he must do everything possible to keep them hidden. But is it possible with the ever so nice and caring John Cena?

NOTE: If it's in italics, it's CM Punk's thoughts.

Chapter 1: I Hate Everything About You

CM Punk's heart was pounding, slowly increasing as he made his way to the viewing bay. He made it a point to get dressed in a locker room that had been deserted, wanting nothing more than to be alone. The past week had taken a toll on him. These feelings were starting to corrupt his choices and cloud his judgment. Last week on Raw AND Smackdown, he had made the decision to attack John Cena with a steel chair. The pain that he felt was hurting his cause more than helping it.

His cause? To kill the love that was growing inside him.

The love he had developed for John Cena.

It started off as nothing, a school boy crush at most. John was always smiling. No matter what anyone said about him, he stuck his neck out for them and rose above hate. The children adored him. Women swooned over him. He was the biggest face in World Wrestling Entertainment since The Rock and Steve Austin. Strong. Handsome. Determined and all around nice guy. He could literally kill someone with his kindness. And Punk knew that it wasn't some act, that's who he was. Over time, it developed into a fondness that continued into love.

It made Punk smirk just thinking about it. John truly was too good for him. Maybe in the same league wrestling wise but as far as a relationship was concerned, he was in the minors while John was the MVP of the majors. He didn't want to love him. He always walked the path of life alone. And it needed to stay that way. For his career…his sanity…and his heart.

Fate did not seem to agree.

Punk turned the corner and collided with someone. He took a step back, keeping his balance. His eyes glared up at a pair of cerulean ones. "Sorry about that, Punk," John smiled, "I didn't see you there." Punk said nothing, just continued to stare. Cena cocked his head to the side, "Is something wrong?" Punk shook his head, breaking the trance he was put in by John's eyes. "Nothing that concerns the great John Cena." he snapped, pushing by him. He stopped dead in his tracks as he felt John grab his hand. "Now that's not very nice. Listen, can I ask you something?"

Punk yanked his hand away, praying that his cheeks were not turning red and certain other parts of him would not come to life. "What?" John sighed placed his hands on his hips. "Well…it's just…did I do something wrong? I mean in 2 days I got smacked with a steel chair by you twice. I know we have never been the best of friends but I don't think I deserved that. If I did something to upset you, I'm sorry." Punk just stared. Was Cena really blaming himself for his actions? He wanted to hug the man and tell him everything but that wasn't happening. "Just stay out of my way." and with that, he turned and rushed away from John's confused gaze.

"Dammit, Punk. You need to get the hell over this and quick. What the fuck are you thinking? One, he's a man. A very handsome man. He can have any girl he wants. Why would he want you?"

He finally reached the viewing bay and took a seat by himself. He preferred it this way. No connections to anyone. That way, he couldn't ever feel betrayed or hurt. Most of these people disgusted him in one way or another. The Divas always tried to be nice to him but even if he was completely straight, he wouldn't touch them with someone else's dick. One of the only wrestling friends he had, Dave Batista, had plowed most of if not all of these women. Straight edges don't do promiscuous sex.

The next thing he knew, the leaderless Nexus walked through the door. They looked like a pack of puppies that had lost their mother. They didn't know what to do or where to go. It was pathetic. He had overheard that they had been looking for someone new to follow. David had stepped up temporarily but he wasn't the type of man that could stay in charge for an extended amount of time. Just like Punk, they sat away from everyone else. They were having conversations amongst themselves as the show went on, certain words sticking out to Punk every now and then but nothing worth noting. Until he heard the name 'Cena.' His eyes glanced towards them, this attention a little more intrigued.

Were they planning another attack? A sudden wave of protectiveness welled up inside him. He didn't want to see Cena get hurt but he slapped himself mentally. He was the last one who should be worried about Cena's safety. He had attack him twice out of desperation to hide his love. How was he any better?

"How…am I…any better…?"

The sentence kept playing in his head over and over again. It was interrupted but the sound of John's music played through the arena. There on the screen, appeared the smiling icon. His dimples as exposed as ever. He looked adorable when he smiled. Punk couldn't help but feel his loins stirring. So adorable. So hot. John started talking his typical John Cena promo. The Nexus looked on with a careful eye, before standing up and making their way to the door. Punk watched them go, trying to get inside the rookies' heads. A few other people seemed concerned but not enough to do anything about it.

Punk watched the monitor closely as the Nexus made their way to the ring. Punk gripped the bench tightly, ready to jump at a seconds notice but forcing himself not to at the same time. He had to stay in control but his heart was racing. The Nexus gave Cena this half-ass apology about how they wanted a truce. There was a bluff about new leadership but Punk knew they had not found someone to replace Barrett yet.

Cena was having nothing to do with it. He told them to walk away with their dignity or be prepared to throw hands. And they did just that. David Otunga stepped out of the ring retreating back to his fellow teammates. It didn't last long. They turned and charged the ring, surrounding Cena like they had so many times before. Unconsciously, Punk jumped to his feet and walked towards the stage. His feet were walking faster than his head and heart could control. He asked for his music to be queued up just as the Nexus were done dismantling Cena. The expressions on the faces of the WWE Universe were priceless. Anger with a hint of confusion. Punk slid into the ring and reached for Cena. Just touching the man's flesh stirred the lust inside him.

"No! Not now, I need to end this…"

He lifted Cena up onto his shoulders and seconds later, hit the GTS. He looked down at Cena, just lying there breathing heavily. He had endured quite a beating. He continued to stare, taking in the sounds of the WWE Universe. A mix of "Cena," "CM suck," "you suck," and other phrases that were meant to demean him. And then one voice stuck out. Michael Cole was trash talking him on commentary once again: "This is typical CM Punk." Punk whipped around and glared at the announce table. So now his behavior was 'typical?' It was expected? If there was anything that Punk hated, it was being predictable and put into a category. He slid out of the ring, towards the announce table.

"He wants typical. I'll give them typical."

He threw the ring announcer aside and grabbed the steel chair he had been sitting on. The fans booed even more and Cole was inquiring as to what was going through his mind. Honestly, he wasn't sure himself. He reentered the ring and grasped the steel chair. Swiftly raising the chair above his head, he let out a loud cry before starting to swing.

"STOP!"

Punk stopped, the chair held high above his head. His body was frozen. All he could do was look at Cena's face. He looked so helpless. And Punk has just taking out his frustration with himself out on the man he loved. He…couldn't do it. He couldn't hit him again. The crowd roared with insults as he just stood there, looking at Cena. Not moving. In his whole professional career, he had never frozen up before. Punk lowered the chair and opened it. He took a seat, his eyes never leaving Cena's face.

"What am I gonna do? I can't hit him…I love him too much. I can't tell him. He would never love me back. Would he? NO! Don't be stupid! I need to do something! Before I get fired…the whole world is watching. They are watching me looking over John Cena like a kid in a candy store. Fucking think, Punk! I need a scapegoat…"

And then he had his answer. There, by his foot, was the Nexus armband. And just like that, Punk had his answer. He picked up the band and looked at it. This was the only way to distract him from John Cena. He needed to take on a task that would hopefully be large enough to distract him. Slowly, he slid the armband on and up his arm.

"I'm sorry, John…"

Punk stood to face the men that seemed just as confused on the ramp. He raised a fist above his head and they mirrored the action. There was a mixed reaction from the crowd. But no matter what, these rookies seemed to have accepted Punk as their new leader.

CM Punk was now running Nexus.

Punk threw his new armband into his gym bag. He quickly reached for a towel and slipped off his clothes, placing them on top of his bag. A shower would do him well right now. He turned the handles and let the warm water wash over him. Punk wished he could wash away his problems as easily as he could the dirt and sweat of the day. But life wasn't that easy. He thought back to his thoughts in the ring. How he had stopped, dead in his tracks in front of everyone.

No one seemed to notice. When he returned backstage with his new team, no one had made a joke or a comment. It would seem that even the WWE Superstars were in shock at Punk's decision. The Nexus seemed more than happy to have him though. He had years of experience in this business. They knew how greatly they would benefit from his knowledge. But no matter what, Punk couldn't stop thinking about John. He had been helped to the back after the show.

Just thinking about the Bostonian made his cock twitch. Punk started to breathe a little heavier. His mind started to race with images of John shirtless, his smile, and how he had touched his arm earlier. Oh how Punk wished Cena would walk in right now. He'd attack him faster than a lion when stalking its prey. He was much harder now.

"No use avoiding it…"

Punk let his hand slip down and wrap itself around his throbbing cock. He thought of John and what it would feel like if he had been the one to be touching him like this. He imaged that John's hands were strong but gentle at the same time. Stroking himself faster, he wondered what sex with John would be like. Just imaging the bigger man pressing up against him caused him to jerk faster and harder. He used his other hand as leverage, holding onto the shower wall so he didn't collapse from lack of focus. He found himself whimpering the other man's name as he felt his orgasm approaching. What sent him over the edge was remembering when John had said his name earlier smiling. How Punk longed to see that face and hear his name as they made passionate love. "J-John…" he whimpered as he came, his seed gathering and sinking into the drain.

Punk stood there for a moment, catching his breath. He brushed his hair back and turned off the water. He toweled off and threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Hopefully he would get some sleep once he got back to the hotel. He walked out of his locker room and looked around. The place seemed deserted. He shuffled along, heading towards the parking lot. Walking by the trainer's office, a certain color caught his eye. A purple shirt. Punk halted. Against his better instincts, he poked his head in through the crack in the door and saw John sleeping on the trainer's gurney. Looking around, he noticed they were alone. He had no idea what possessed him but he silently slipped in and took a seat next to the sleeping Superstar.

He just sat there and looked at John's face. He didn't look that beaten up but he didn't look untouched either. His new lackeys did some damage on the former WWE Champion. Punk couldn't help but feel some pain growing in his chest. No one wanted to see someone they cared about hurt. Especially when it was your fault. Punk reached up and placed his hand over John's. John made a noise that made Punk temporarily pull back; for fear that Cena had regained consciousness. He didn't. Punk slowly covered Cena's hand again and stood up. He hovered over him, just taking in the closer view of his face.

This was the only way. In order to keep Cena safe and protect himself from pain, he had to push John away. He didn't want to do it. He wanted nothing more than to confess to him and take him out on a date. Show him that he wasn't the asshole everyone thought / made him out to be. He was different. He wanted to show Cena that side…but he knew he couldn't.

"This is the closest I'll ever get."

He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Punk lightly placed his lips over Cena's, tasting them. They were sweet. Punk bit his tongue, keeping it from trying to force his way past his lips. This was all he could do. He lifted his head and placed a kiss on Cena's forehead.

"I…love you…"

Punk stood there and used his free hand to pet Cena's head as he continued to sleep. With his focus 100% on Cena, Punk didn't notice the Superstar standing in the doorway that had seen and heard everything.

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