He scanned the crowd and saw him. He chuckled at Magnus' effort to confuse him by wearing a plain dark cape with not a trace of glitter or colour in it, but it wasn't working. He would have recognised him anywhere. His slender figure and his smooth catlike movement as he glided through the crowd… Alec stared at him for a moment smiling, and then slipped through the mass of Downworlders and got closer to him.
~o~
The previous day
"Aleeeeec! C'mon!" Magnus whined, pulling his lover's sleeve.
"I said no." Alec said standing beside their bed, looking down at his Warlock.
"Buuuut Alexaaaandeeer! Please? For me?" He stared at him, his golden-green eyes big and pleading.
Alec looked away from his eyes lest he succumbed and immediately regretted it as he found himself staring at Magnus' half-naked body. The Warlock who saw him staring, smirked and asked. "See something you like Alexander?"
Alec blushed. "No."
"Are you sure?" Magnus flexed, making the Nephilim gulp.
"Shut up."
"Is that a yes?"
"No."
Magnus pouted.
"And no. I'm not coming to your party."
Magnus slit his eyes and let his shirt go. "Very well. Then you're getting none of this." He said getting up and walking away from him.
Alec blushed even more. "Hey! I'm not dating you just for your body Magnus! I love you!"
"Is that so?" He retorted, turning to glare at the boy.
"Of course!"
"Then prove it. Come to the party, and try to find me amongst all the people. I bet you can't do it." The Warlock challenged.
"Is that so?" Alec mirrored his previous words, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes." Magnus said, still looking upset.
"Very well. You got yourself a deal."
The Warlock finally smiled. More like smirked, and grabbed Alec's shirt pulling him in for a kiss. "Deal." He smiled against his lips, letting him go.
~o~
Present time
He wore a mask and a hood on top of it, concealing his face completely in the shadows.
"Found you." Alec whispered grabbing the man's arm and pulling him close to him. He felt rather than heard his laugh vibrating softly as he held him. "Can we drop the games? I missed you…" The Nephilim whispered.
Instead of an answer Magnus pulled him close and kissed him. Alec sighed into the kiss, kissing him back with fervour. Magnus shoved him onto the wall a little harsher than usual and Alec moaned involuntarily, wrapping his arms around his waist touching his warm skin under the black shirt. There was a strange feeling nagging at him at the back of his mind, but being kissed like that he had no mind to figure out what was wrong.
Magnus pulled back and started kissing his neck and Alec wrapped his arms around him tighter to keep himself from collapsing to the floor. "Take that stupid mask off." He growled lowly "I want to see your eyes…"
"As you wish pretty one." A soft beautiful voice said and Alec jolted away from him like he'd been hit.
The voice was beautiful, but not beautiful enough.
"You…" He started saying, his blue eyes wide in shock, taking a step back. And then the man took off his hood and mask smiling, and Alec's fear was confirmed as he stepped back in horror, bringing a hand over his mouth, feeling he was going to be sick.
"What's wrong little Nephilim?" The man who wasn't Magnus said. "Am I not what you expected?"
"Raziel…" Alec choked out feeling dizzy, and ran away, locking himself in the toilet. "I don't understand…" He whispered touching his lips and then jumping in the shower wishing to rinse the man's touch away, feeling disgusted to be touched by anyone but Magnus.
"He moved like him, he felt like him… Raziel…" He choked out again rubbing himself furiously. "I could have sworn on the Angel it was him… I know him… How could it not have been him?" He sat on the floor hiding his face in his hands. "Raziel…"
~o~
Alec stayed there unwilling to face anyone in this forsaken party again. He must have fallen asleep because an unknown amount of time later he heard a knock on the door and opening his eyes realised the loud music had stopped.
"Alec?" His heart leapt hearing Magnus' voice. He wanted nothing more than run to him and lose himself in his arms. Instead, he wrapped his own arms around himself tighter, feeling his insides churn when thinking why he was there in the first place. "Alexander…" Magnus called once more, softly, a tint of concern in his voice I know you are in there… What's wrong? If you wanted to avoid the party it's over already. Alec shook his head even though Magnus couldn't see him. "Alec!" Magnus raised his voice the making him jump. "I'm getting worried! If you don't answer me I'm coming in!"
"No…" He muttered. 'I can't face him…' "I'm okay… Leave me alone." He said a little louder so Magnus could hear.
"Fat chance." The Warlock muttered on the other side of the door, so low that Alec didn't hear him.
Hearing nothing from him Alec wrapped his arms around his knees hiding his face again.
"Alexander!"
Hearing his lover's voice beside him Alec jumped looking up at him. "How…?" He muttered.
"Warlock?" Magnus only said pointing to himself as if it was explanation enough. And it actually was.
Before Alec could speak again, Magnus went on. "What the hell are you doing Alexander? Sitting on the shower floor wet and naked?" He stared at his body for a moment, his eyes full of love and lust before going on. "I normally wouldn't mind at all, but if it wasn't so warm in here you would be down with a pneumonia by now!" Magnus raised his voice at him. "What were you thinking? I thought you were more responsible than that!"
He hid his face in his knees again. "I'm sorry…" He choked out, apologising for everything at once.
"Hey…" Magnus' voice softened seeing him react like that, and entering the shower kneeled beside him, disregarding his clothes that were ruined by the water around Alec. "What's wrong Angel?" Alec just shook his head not looking up, and Magnus softly touched his shoulder to calm him down, but it had the opposite effect.
The Nephilim jumped at his touch and turned to look at him with wide blue eyes filled with fear and guilt. "Nothing!"
He jumped up gathering his clothes hastily, leaving a dumbfounded Magnus staring up at him in shock. "Alec, what…?"
"I… I'm sorry, I.. I have to go…"
Magnus was on his feet and beside him in a heartbeat. "Alexander… What happened… Did I do something wrong to you?" He asked reaching out to him but not touching him, pain evident in his eyes.
Alec ached to touch him but held back. 'I have no right.. ' "No." He dropped his eyes unable to stand the pain in Magnus' beautiful cat-eyes. "It's all my fault. I have to go…"
"Alec! Wait!" Magnus grabbed his hand and Alec flinched, thinking back on the party.
Magnus let him go immediately looking more hurt than ever. "Please talk to me…"
Alec turned to him, an anguished look reflected in his blue eyes. "You would hate me if you knew…" He said and run out, going to their room to get dressed.
When he turned back again, he saw Magnus looking at him from the bedroom door. "So you're just going to leave? You will leave me with no explanation, without a word?" He said, his golden green eyes never leaving Alec's blue ones.
"I… I'm so sorry…"
"I don't care about your apologies! I want an explanation! If you're sick of me just tell me!" Magnus snapped at him, his voice breaking by the end.
"No!" Alec said nearing him in an instant aching more than before to touch him, to take his pain away, but unable to. "How could you say that?" He whispered pained. "I love you… More than anything… I just… I can't… I have to go…"
"Fine then… go." Magnus said evident in his features that he didn't believe him. "Go if that's what you want." He took a step back letting him pass, and Alec walked past him almost feeling physical pain from walking away. "I'm so sorry… I love you…" he whispered before running off into the night.
~o~
Alec ran and ran when all he wanted was to turn back and fall on Magnus' arms and apologise. Soon he found himself out of a coffee shop they used to have dates in, and not wishing to go to the Institute and see anyone he walked inside the small store, got a coffee and sat down on the most isolated table he could find. He looked out of the window at the break of dawn over his untouched coffee cup and sighed. "I wanna go home…"
"Then go. I wasn't the one who told you to leave." The voice he wanted to hear more than anything said, right beside him and he gasped looking up.
"Magnus…" Alec whispered, staring at his lover in awe, not believing he was really there.
"You know… I thought about it. And I don't get it. What's gotten into you?"
"I…"
His Warlock shook his head exasperated and sat on a chair beside him, not touching him. He looked into his eyes, golden green ones intent on blue. "I love you."
"I love you too…" Alec answered without losing a beat. "I'm so sorry…"
"C'mon Alexander. Isn't it enough already? Stop those games and come home. Come back to me."
"No." The Nephilim said staring at the table, unable to meet his eyes lest he break.
"W-what?" Magnus asked, his voice a mere whisper as he stared at him, hurt reflected in his beautiful cat-eyes. "Alexa- Alec… Why?"
"I don't deserve your forgiveness…" Alec whispered again still not looking at him.
"What?" The older man repeated. "What are you talking about?" Alec remained silent. "Alec, I'm talking to you. Explain yourself."
More silence.
"Alexander!"
That got his attention and he finally looked up. Magnus was expecting his eyes to look cold and uninteresting, he was waiting for him to tell him he just didn't want him anymore. But Alec's blue eyes were anything but that. They were full of anguish, shining with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry…" was all he said.
Magnus sighed. "I don't care." Alec stared at him, conflicted and confused, and the Warlock went on. "I told you back home too." The emphasis he gave to the word home caused even more pain in Alec because of all he was about to lose. "I don't care about your apologies. If you're going to break up with me I need to know why. Don't you think I deserve that much after everything we've been through, Alexander?"
Alec stared at him in shock. 'Break… up?' He hadn't thought of that. He didn't mean for that to happen.
'This isn't happening… Not again… It can't be.'
He remained frozen, wars waging in his head, wanting nothing more than to apologise and go back home, but still feeling he couldn't.
"Forget about it." Magnus' resigned voice snapped him out of it as he sighed, getting up.
Alec looked at him, his blue eyes wide once more. "What…?" He choked out.
"It is clear you want nothing more to do with me, so I'm saving you the trouble of saying it. Don't feel bad. You're not the first who just couldn't stand me. Guess you lasted too long already. Goodbye Alexander." He said.
His words hurt more than anything, making him feel actual physical pain and knocking the breath out of him. It killed him that Magnus was in so much pain and even more that he was the cause of it. 'No… No, I'm sorry don't go… I'm sorry…' He tried to speak but his words died in his throat, which felt dry suddenly. "Magnus…" Was all he managed to whisper.
His now ex-boyfriend just shook his head not sparing him another look, and left.
"What did I do?" Alec muttered burying his face in his hands. "Magnus…" 'How am I going to fix this?'
Suddenly someone touched his shoulder and he jolted recognising Magnus' feather light, warm touch.
"Mag-" he said and then fell silent, his eyes wide.
"Is Magnus your boyfriend?" The curious voice asked. Alec stared terrified, at the stranger from the party, his blue eyes anguished. When Alec said nothing, the man asked. "So…? Is he?"
"He… He is… He was…" Alec choked out.
"Interesting. Then, are you available?" He smiled reaching out to touch his hand unsuccessfully, since Alec hastily pulled it back.
"I'm hurt." He smirked. "You were so eager last night. So full of fire…"
Alec felt like crying. "Please leave me alone." He almost whimpered.
"Why, pretty one? I bet we could have some fun together… I could help you forget that ex of yours. I bet he was nothing special anyway, if he gave up on you so easily."
"Shut up!" Alec snapped at him. "Don't you dare talk about him like that!"
The stranger looked surprised for a moment, then his flirty demeanour disappeared as he spoke gently. "Hey… I'm sorry… Please don't cry."
"I'm not crying!"
"But you are…" He said softly, a sad smile on his face and Alec touched his face, surprised to see it was wet. "You really love him don't you?"
"More than anything." Alec said meeting his eyes, just noticing they were blue like his.
"Then why don't you do something? Are you going to just let it end like that?" The black haired stranger said.
"How can I?" Alec hid his face in his hands again. "I don't deserve him… I never did. And now, even more… After that…"
"Oh c'mon. It wasn't that bad." The man said and Alec gasped looking up again, because his voice had changed to a voice he knew and loved more than anything.
"Magnus…" He muttered staring into his golden-green eyes.
"In the flesh." The High Warlock of Brooklyn said smiling mischievously.
"You… what? Magnus, what did you do?" He muttered, the pieces clicking together.
"So you love me more than anything huh?" He smirked. Alec got up without a word and not caring for the people around them, walked to his side and hugged him.
Magnus chuckled kissing his hair. "You're so adorable…"
"Shut up!" Alec said punching his chest. "Jerk! How could you do this to me?"
"Me? Last time I checked you were the one making out with random strangers."
"He moved like you! He felt like you! I knew it was you, and then you…"
"And then?" Magnus smiled.
"And then it wasn't you… It was horrible…" Alec muttered. "Damn you and your stupid parties you stupid Warlock! I hate you!" He said punching Magnus' chest while the Warlock held him tightly.
"No you don't." Magnus laughed. "You love me."
"I don't!"
"No?"
Alec sighed, his energy subsiding and left his arms taking a step back, looking into his eyes seriously.
"Alexander?" Magnus asked uneasily, starting to worry he might have really gone too far.
"Stupid Warlock." Alec said again frowning and pulled him close to kiss him, sighing. "I love you…" He whispered after pulling away from him.
Magnus' smile was breathtaking. "I know… I love you too sayang."