Oddity
My life was far from normal. Most people grow up with their parents and siblings in a loving environment. A girl like me eventually brings her boyfriend home to meet her parents, and hopes nervously for her father's blessing. When he finally stops whining about his baby girl growing up, and she decides to get hitched, he walks her down the aisle and gives her hand to the man she has chosen. Then, he dances with her at the reception.
But for me, I had everything stripped away when I was small. That monster…he took my father for his pawn and murdered my mother. My poor brother was forced to live a mechanical life, serving the whims of the one who held Father in thrall. Only I was spared, spared because my dad gave me up before he went under. Then, I was all alone…cut off from my flesh and blood.
I did get to bring my beloved home to meet my father. But we had yet to realize our feelings and I didn't know that man and I were related. Also, the meeting was just the start of a crisis that would end with both my father and brother dead on my sword and the one who took them from me killed in retaliation. Emilio and I never got to talk like siblings should; we only fought like cats and dogs. And Father only regained his senses enough to talk to me with his true emotions as he lay dying.
It was only my love for Stahn that kept me from despair. He comforted my pain and held me if I wanted to cry. So, when he asked for my hand in marriage I was quick to accept. I knew I wouldn't get my father back to lead me to my future; even my wedding would be devoid of my family. But the only way to get through these times of sorrow is to move forward. Once I'm married, I will begin to rebuild those holes in my heart as we build our family together. However, the memories will always remain.
Eventually, the pain will dull. However, I still feel it today as I prepare to walk towards my future. I will leave a world where the sorrow still eats me up for one where my beloved will always comfort me. Though it is what I need to do, what I want to do, I still feel the longing. I want to feel my father's embrace to comfort me, a feeling I lost over fifteen years ago. I want to have my family sitting in those rows, watching me as I begin the rest of my life.
"We're ready to start!" the voice of my future sister-in-law called from the hall, "Rutee, let's get going!"
As I gathered my flowers and began to walk towards the main chapel, a warmth entered my heart. At once, I felt as if my parents and brother were within, telling me they were there with me on my special day. Maybe not in body, but in spirit.
I began my ascent towards the alter where the love of my life was waiting…my father's presence walking alongside me.
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Teefa's Last Words...
Just a short piece about her musing on the past. It's what happens when one's mind wanders when she has nothing to do in class. Or when she's in an angsty mood. Still am in that funk and need to get out. Unfortunately, after writing forty nine chapters in "City Girl, Country Boy" the fluff machine is kinda dry at the moment.