A/N: ShellSueD sent me the first three paragraphs as a gift (months ago) and told me to write something. Thanks ShellSueD! I fear this is not what you intended, but I hope you are not disappointed. Dog in the Manger has patiently fixed my crazy grammar and punctuation mistakes and made this infinitely better.
I hadn't seen her in quite a while... weeks, months maybe. Time didn't really register for me in a normal way anymore.
The last occasion was a wedding, Bobby's, I think. We were dancing in the crowded, low-lit room with the rest of the guests. I held her tight, her body molded to mine, her arms around my neck, and her warm breath skating across my ear as we swayed to some sappy love song I didn't recognize.
We ate the food and drank maybe too much of the wine. When Stephanie whispered softly that she'd like me to take her home, I knew I should have called her a cab. But, I led her outside, her hand firmly in mine as we made our way to my Porsche.
I heard her sharp intake of breath when she saw the car. "Wow," she said. "This car is just… wow." I knew what she meant.
As she sank into the leather seat, she closed her eyes and let out the softest, sexiest moan. I didn't think my dick could get any harder than it was when I was dancing with her in my arms, but I was wrong.
I buckled the seat belt around her and made my way to the driver's side. Within seconds, the engine was purring, and not surprisingly, so was Stephanie.
"I love this car," she said without opening her eyes. "I bet it goes really, really fast." She paused for a moment. "I love fast."
My dick twitched in response. Normally, we liked to take our time, but for Stephanie, we could do fast.
"I know it's a Porsche but I don't think I've ever seen one like it."
Ah, she was still on the car. "It's a 918 Spyder, a limited production model." Only 918 cars were made, to be exact. Given the list price of nearly eight hundred fifty grand, she wasn't likely to see too many around Trenton. "I took a few weeks off after I got out of the hospital and I decided to pick up the car the day it rolled off the assembly line in Zuffenhausen." The quiet little suburb of Stuttgart had exactly what I needed to recuperate: a little boutique hotel with good food, a comfortable bed and access to open roads. There was only one thing that would have made it better… "There's nothing like driving on the Autobahn," I finally said instead.
"Does it still hurt?" she asked. My hand was on the gearshift, and with only a moment of hesitation, she reached out and placed her hand over mine.
I thought for a moment before answering. I'd met soldiers in rehab who suffered from excruciating phantom limb pain after losing an arm or a leg. I was lucky that I'd only lost the last two fingers on my right hand when I'd deflected the grenade. The stumps had healed well, with only an occasional ache now and then.
"It doesn't," I answered, loving the touch of her skin against mine. Too quickly, she took her hand away, and a thought suddenly occurred to me.
"Does it bother you?" Before my injury, I'd taken it for granted that women found me attractive. They seemed to think the occasional scar was sexy and somehow a little exotic. I hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about what the loss of a couple of fingers might do.
"Of course not." She laced her fingers through was left of mine, squeezing lightly. She let a couple beats of silence pass as if she was considering her next words. "I overheard Ram and Vince talking. I didn't mean to but—"
"You can ask me, Stephanie."
"Ram said you're out, because of…" she squeezed my hand again, "…this. So, no more in the wind?"
Uncle Sam had decided – erroneously – I was no longer fit to hold a gun and cut me loose with a generous severance package. I took the money, walking away with only a twinge of regret. I was getting a little old for all the cloak and dagger shit, anyway.
"Cloak and dagger shit, huh?"
Just let me say that when Stephanie Plum laughs, it is a beautiful thing. Like church bells on a snowy Christmas morning.
"Be careful, Mr. Bond," she said. "If you're not careful you'll be telling me all your secrets."
Tonight, I probably would have told her anything she wanted to know. But fortunately for me, she was getting sleepy.
"Agent 007 had nothing on me," I told her with a sideways glance. I was only half-teasing.
She yawned and closed her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"
All too quickly, we were pulling into her parking lot. I slipped the Spyder into the parking spot closest to the door and let the engine idle.
"You don't need to walk me upstairs and sweep my apartment," she said, as if reading my mind. She stretched and tucked an errant curl behind her ear. "I haven't had a stalker in ages, and I don't think rabid dust bunnies are going to be a problem."
"You never know. Dust bunnies can be pretty unpredictable."
Stephanie had her door open even before I made it around to the passenger side of the car. As she swung her right leg out of the car and then her left, I sucked in a breath and smothered a curse. Christ, that dress was short. Could I really have never noticed how long her legs were?
What happened next might have been because of all the champagne she drank. Or it might have been her impossibly high heels. She stood, took two steps, and then fell forward, landing squarely against my chest.
"Thanks for catching me," she giggled. Yup, it was the champagne. "My hero."
When she looked up at me, batting those beautiful baby blues, I couldn't help myself. I bent my head and brushed my lips against hers. When I felt the soft flick of her tongue, I was lost.
"God, Baby. You taste so sweet." Even better than I had imagined, if that was even possible. When she stiffened in my arms and burst into tears, I realized my mistake.
"I'm sorry, Les. So, so sorry," she sobbed.
"No worries, Beautiful. I'm the one who's sorry."
"I wasn't trying to lead you on, I swear. I just miss him so much, you know? When I first caught sight of you at the wedding, I thought you were Ranger."
"Funny. I always thought I was so much better looking than my cousin." I meant it as a joke but the words came out sounding a little bitter.
"Hey, the tuxedo you're wearing looks exactly like the one he wore in Kinsey and Amanda's wedding."
"Basic black, Steph."
"It was dark!" she protested. "You were standing in that little alcove off the vestibule of the church, and you had your back to me. And you've cut your hair so short all of the blond highlights are gone…"
Her voice trailed off, and she looked so forlorn that in that moment, I would have done just about anything to get that look off her face.
"Then we danced at the reception, and you even smelled like him."
Huh?
"You never used to use Bulgari," she explained, noticing my confusion. "That was always his thing."
At least that I could explain. "I bought a house when I got back to town and gave up my apartment in the Haywood building. It just seemed easier to stay on seven last night after Bobby's bachelor party…" Now I was the one who couldn't seem to finish a sentence. Fucking shower gel.
"Les—" she began, swiping at her tears with the back of her hand.
I shook my head, but she wouldn't stop.
"Les, you are a devastatingly gorgeous fascinating man, and a girl would have to be blind and stupid not to fall for you. But I could never, ever, cheat on Ranger."
"So you and my cousin have an… understanding?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She drew in a big, shuddering breath. "He understands that I am hopelessly in love with him, and he's ruined me for all other men. I understand that he is never going to commit to me in the way I want him to."
"And what way is that, Stephanie?" I asked as I caught her hands in mine. "You talking marriage? Babies?"
As I traced the underside of her left ring finger with my thumb, I thought about the ring I had in my safe… the one that had been on my Abuela Silvia's finger for fifty years. Although she'd intended for me to give it to my own bride someday, there'd never been a woman until now, whom I considered giving it to. I brought Steph's hand to my mouth, kissing each of her knuckles, but giving one extra-special attention. Yeah, I would totally put a ring on that. Mi primo was an idiot.
She pulled her hand away, but managed to give me a half-hearted smiled in the process. "Seriously, Lester? I used to think you were one of the people who knew me best. You should know I'm not a white picket fence kind of girl.
"Fair enough." I tried to return her smile. "So what then? What is it that you want?"
"I want… no, what I need is for Ranger to let me love him. No pushing me away because he thinks being close to him might put me in danger, or he can't offer me what I deserve, or a job might take him away for a year or more." She paused and I saw her doing the math in her head. It had already been ten months, give or take a day. We had left together, and I figured he had at least a month or two more. "I need him to let me love him unconditionally, the way he loves me. No price. No bullshit."
"So you're waiting for him?"
She nodded. "It's one of the reasons I stay in this crappy apartment, even though with my new job, I could easily afford to move. I want him to be able to find me when he gets home. I want him to break into my apartment like he always does-"
"After four years, you never gave him a key?" I asked incredulously.
She shrugged. "It never came up. He obviously didn't need one. Did you know he used to sneak into my bedroom and watch me sleep?"
Ric rarely turned off his tracker when he was in Trenton, and it was no secret to anyone in the control room when he spent the night in Stephanie's apartment." I think most of us just assumed —"
Even in the moonlight, I could see her blush. "It wasn't like that," she stopped me. "Well, one time it was, but usually not. He would just pull the chair from the corner close to the bed so he could sit and watch over me."
"While you pretended you were sleep?" One time? I couldn't get past the absurdity of it. What the hell?
"Sometimes, I was asleep," she defended. "In the morning, I'd see the chair close to the bed and smell Bulgari. Then, I would know he'd been there."
Sighing, I pulled her close to me, her back to my front. It was something I had seen Ric do with her dozens of times when she was upset or needed comfort. For tonight, for another few minutes, I could let her pretend.
I felt her body relax as her head lolled back on my shoulder. "Thank you for understanding," she murmured. "I know we're really screwed up."
In reality, I agreed with her, and I couldn't begin to understand, but holding her in my arms was quickly becoming addictive. I guess, I wanted to pretend too.
She was quiet for a couple of minutes. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft but steady. "The sky is so clear tonight, I think we can see a million stars. Sometimes, I like to sit on my fire escape and watch them. I imagine that Ranger is doing the exact same thing wherever he is, and that makes me feel closer to him."
I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was already mid-afternoon where he likely was, but the Perseids provided a welcome distraction before she could ask. I felt her catch her breath as we watched the arc of bright, yellow-white light streak toward the horizon.
"A shooting star," she said. "Should we each make a wish? Do you think that actually works?"
"It's worth a try," I whispered, my lips just skimming her ear. "You first."
Steph squeezed her eyes shut tight, just like a five-year old getting ready to blow out birthday candles. Her luscious lips moved slowly in what seemed more like a prayer than anything else.
"Your turn," she finally said, turning her tear-stained face toward me. "Is there anything your heart desires?"
As if I could tell her I was holding everything I'd ever wanted in my arms right now? I closed my eyes and wished that she'd let me hold her a little longer. I wished that Ric would come home and claim what was his so I wouldn't be so damn tempted. I wished that I could be the one to make all of this beautiful woman's dreams come true.