Title: The Only Truth He Cannot Know
Chapter: 1/1
Author: Dragona 2007
Email: Please check my profile or leave an email address for me to respond to in your review.
Summary: (Oneshot) When Harry asks Sirius a single question, Sirius is sent down a trip through memory lane. Come and join him, as he remembers the only love of his life and the sacrifices that he was forced to make. (AU, Post-Voldie) (Implied Slash. Pairings slight H/H, LE/SB, implied JP/SS.)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Spoilers: Minor, if any at all.
Rating: K+
Pairing(s): Harry/Hermione, Sirius/Lily, implied James/Severus
Disclaimer: Even if I do own all seven books and the first four movies, I don't own the copyrights to Harry Potter, so please don't sue me for this, as I'm not making a
profit off this fan fiction.
Author's notes: This is the revised story that was posted on my Dragona account. However, I'm getting weary at the thought of trying to manage multiple accounts at . I haven't changed the plot here. I'm only fixing the grammar and format, as I want to keep this original, if only to mark just how far I've come as a writer, even if I'm wincing at the errors myself. Obviously, this is very, very AU, however when I thought this up, I didn't even have a clue about anything past the fourth book.
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The Only Truth He Cannot Know
By Dragona
Sirius's POV
He can never know the horrifying truth, the truth that I am really his father, the truth that the man he thinks was his father was actually in a relationship with Severus Snape. I thought to myself, as I watch my godson leave the room.
In Harry's fifth year, my godson defeated Voldemort, and captured Wormtail. The latter act cleared my name, and I decided to take the Defense Against The Dark Arts position, instead of returning to my old Auror job. Currently, I have almost finished my second year of teaching. Harry is in his seventh year, and is stressing about his N.E.W.T.S., even after I helped him study for them, over the summer only though. If I did anymore than old McGonagall would have had my head for showing favoritism.
I resumed grading first year essays, exhaustedly. Needless to say, when I took the job, I didn't expect the workload that it encompassed. Harry had just left, after asking me a single question, a record for him, as he tends to be very inquisitive.
Flashback
"Sirius, I have a question for you." Harry was obviously nervous.
"What is it? Whatever it is, I'm sure that I can answer it." I said, smiling to help relieve some of my godson's nervousness. I would have joked, but the fact that Harry had said a single question stopped me. When the matter was trivial, Harry had a tendency to ask at least 4 or 5 questions.
"Recently, I've been thinking about mine and 'Moine's relationship and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to propose to her. And I wanted to know if that was okay with you." Harry smiled, now that he had asked. He, then, looked horrified at the expression that I was wearing.
You see, I was in shock. Not at who he wanted to marry, as he must have thought, but rather at the fact that he was asking permission to ask her. Even more so, at the fact that he was asking me!! "If you say no, I won't ask her, Sirius." Harry said, sadly. That he would go as far as leaving Hermione, at my disapproval, both honored me and shook me out of my shock at the same time.
I suddenly grinned, and I failed to notice a lone tear slide down my face. "No, no. I'm honored that you would ask ME for permission. I really am." Harry's expression turned hopeful. "In fact, I don't mind you asking her. Go for it." Harry was grinning, also. "Just do me a favor, don't make me a grand-godfather too early!!" At my last half serious, half teasing statement, Harry turned crimson, before making his way out of the room.
End Flashback
I had been that young once, myself. At that time, I had even been in love. In fact, the only difference between my situation and that of my godson's is that Harry's love was permitted. The love that I shared with Lily Evans had been forbidden by my biased family. While they had not supported Voldemort, they did not like to "associate" with muggles or muggleborn witches and wizards. At least, that was the way that my parents had phrased it. The memories started to wash over me, like a flood.
Flashback
"Love, I just talked to James." Lily said. She had just apparated into the flat that I was renting with my father's money.
"And he said what?" I asked tiredly. I had just gotten home from my exhausting training as an auror. Our whole group had recently graduated. James now worked in the Department of Mysteries for the Ministry. Lily was, also, working for the Ministry, but in the Department of Experimental Charms. I was training to be an Auror, like my father wanted me to. Remus, unable to find a wizard job, since he was a werewolf, was attending some muggle college, Oxfrom or something like that. (AN: Really, Oxford, but you know wizards like to mess up muggle names.) Peter was working as a bartender for the Hogshead in Hogsmeade. Severus, who had joined our group at the start of seventh year, since he was James's lover, was training under our old Potions teacher, to become one himself.
She sighed, and then said, "His father just won't accept the fact that James loves Severus. He insists, as only a pompous Minister of Magic can, that James find suitable girl to marry and give him an heir. And since he knows of our situation, he decided to try to ask me. I hate that man for trying to blackmail all of us like this." I couldn't help but notice a familiar tinge of rage touch her heavenly voice.
"As much as I hate to admit it, until I am a full Auror, I won't be able to support us. And my father's influence could make you lose your or James's or Severus's job. Hell, my training could be cancelled too." I said, with a slight tinge of bitterness.
"And to make matters worse, I went to the mediwizard like you asked me, too. Honey, I'm pregnant." Lily said, the tears starting to well in her beautiful green eyes.
End Flashback
At the distant memory, I half smiled and half frowned, remembering the elaborate plan that James, Severus, Lily, Remus, and I had come up with when we met at the flat that Remus owned in muggle London. (Peter had to work that day.) We (Lily and I) had decided to have her marry James, and carry my child. That child would be the heir that James needed. I would be named my son's (or daughter's) godfather. We would cast a recently created illusion charm on the child, who would be a veritable clone of James. Then, Lily would claim that the charm was too dangerous to use, being its creator and tester. Her department would, then, trash any knowledge of it. We would, also, cast a double Fildilis Charm to further hide the our child's birthright. And Severus was made the Secret Keeper to protect this information. Remus was made the Secret Keeper about Severus being a Secret Keeper.
The plan went well. And it was a good thing that we had never really gotten the chance to tell Peter about this as he had decided to betray us. Little did we know that a year and a half down the road, Lily and James would die. Or that I would be framed by Peter and sent to Azkaban. But that is the past and it will always stay the past. And Harry would never understand what lead to this end.
Before I realized what I doing, I had moved the essays that I had stopped grading. I, then, with my head on my arms, started to sob, regretting not being able to tell my son that he was my son, regretting that I could not tell him the only truth that he could not know.
The End
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Here's the reposting and revision of this fic. It actually wasn't as bad off as I thought it was going to be. I hope it's well liked. Please R & R!!
Dragona 2007