The Shoot Out
A/N: I own nothing
Chapter 1
"That was one of the stupidest things you have ever done, and that is saying something! What the hell were you thinking?"
Cuddy's assistant had mysteriously vanished when House had barged through the doors to Cuddy's office. Everyone in the hospital could hear Cuddy's daily rampage. They didn't bat an eyelid anymore. It was too routine for them to bother caring about whatever havoc House had caused. So long as House's chaos didn't involve them nobody was especially interested.
"That man was a jerk and he deserved it. He spilt urine on me" House replied disdainfully
"You can be as rude to patients as you like but I draw the line at you assaulting them" She yelled
"It wasn't assault he walked into my cane" House shrugged
"Attacking someone with you cane is assault. I've had enough of your stupid antics! You've finally crossed the line!"
Oh God! He couldn't have finally pushed her over the edge. This didn't even come in the top 10 of the things he'd done to deserve being fired. He'd assaulted a famous jazz player that had resulted in a summons to court (note to self: apparently saving someone's life by shoving a breathing tube down their throat is grounds to go to court). Of course there was the Tritter incident (even if that had landed him in a boat load of trouble it was so worth it!). Oh! And then there was that time he'd kidnapped his favourite soap's star...(that one was probably the worst). Point being, hitting someone over the head with his cane was not really that bad, considering his record.
"Are you firing me?" he asked flabbergasted
"I'm angry not brain damaged!...Do you know what Wilson's doing this afternoon?" she smiled sweetly
"Putting on his superhero costume and saving damsels in distress?"
Wilson had told him but House had found it too dull to pay attention to the conversation. Anyway whatever Wilson planned to do would involve or lead to trying to save the world. Especially if it involved a women. Wilson had no impulse control for women in need of rescuing.
"He's giving a talk at McGill, his old medical school"
House took slight pleasure in the fact that Cuddy hadn't defended Wilson's messiah complex or his womanizing nature. However, he wasn't sure why Cuddy felt the need to share this information. If House had wanted to know he would have filed the information under "interesting Wilson facts" in his brain.
"I know McGill is his old medical school. I didn't think the McGill jumper was from an ex-girlfriend...although, knowing Wilson I probably shouldn't rule out that possibility quite so quickly" he contemplated
"Since you have no new cases and before you argue I have checked with everyone in the hospital to confirm that fact, you will be joining him." She leered smugly at him.
If the clinic wasn't enough to bore him into good behaviour then this would be. Of course, there was a very high risk of another lawsuit but it would be worth the risk. House would either suffer the boredom of talking to educated idiots or gain some humanity from being in close contact with people.
"That's not fair! That's ten times worse than what I did!" House bellowed utterly outraged
"You should have thought that before you beat a patient with your cane"