Memory
"Why didn't you tell me!?" exclaimed Rutee, "I…for all these years I wanted to know who I really was. And now I find that you knew all along that he was my father, and you never once pointed it out."
-I'm sorry…but I felt that it would do no good,- Atwight replied from within her Swordian form.
The two were alone in a room the Swordian Masters had rented in Darilsheid's inn. Rutee's violet eyes were filled with tears and her raven hair was matted with sweat from the team's last fight…a fight which ended with the death of the boy she'd just discovered was her brother. What made things even worse was that the one who pulled his strings, forcing him to obey or he'd kill a young woman important to the boy, was their father. But what Rutee found to be the ultimate betrayal was that Atwight had remained silent while fully knowing the man's relation to her.
Atwight continued, -If he had recognized you, and still desired to accept you as his daughter, he would have done so. I honestly didn't know for sure if he abandoned you, but I had a hunch; at the very least, he'd decided to give up on finding you, which I still consider abandonment. But I feel much better about this now because if you knew he could have gotten to you like he did with Leon.-
Rutee turned around and crossed her arms. "That still doesn't give you the right to deny who I am! You could have said to wait and see if he wanted me back. Or…at least say I had a brother."
-I honestly didn't know who he was,- Atwight confessed, -Your brother's name was Emilio, not Leon. When Hugo called him that in the caves…that's when I put the pieces together; before that, I had wondered where the boy was and if he was missing like you. Please, understand. Your mother…she gave me to you and I had to do what was best.-
The Swordian watched as her mistress flopped down on the bed and buried her face in her pillow. Atwight knew this would be hard for Rutee to take, and felt anger at Hugo for putting her through all of it. Having been unable to have any children herself due to her circumstances and the war, the former physician had taken special interest in the mistress she had been given to, thinking of Rutee as if she were her own daughter. And just like any mother, Atwight felt pain if her child was hurting.
"Is it because I was a girl? Was I too weak to be a pawn in his scheme," she questioned.
Atwight whispered, -I…do not know. But it'll be ok; we'll stick by you….- She spoke with a mother's tenderness, a voice that always had comforted Rutee in the past when the child thought about her family and why they had left her.
Rutee got up on her knees and slammed her fists down on the bed as the tears began to increase. "I hate him! Hate him for putting me out in the cold! Hate him for toying with my little brother and turning him into such a brat, then using him as a human shield! Hate him…for taking me from my mother…."
It was a tone she rarely took. But whenever Rutee was this upset…she was prone to make stupid decisions to appease that anger. Her partner had to think fast before she ended up rushing headlong into Dycroft by herself to strike Hugo down alone.
-Your mother cherished you,- Atwight replied, -Please do not do anything rash and throw away your life because she wouldn't want that. Don't let your hatred for Hugo consume you.-
"I won't. I'll stick by my friends and we'll fight him together. We can do anything as a team; I'm through shouldering my burdens alone," Rutee said.
Atwight told her, -That's good. I promise to tell you about your past when this is all over and it can't leave you even more emotionally charged. Then…you will know about your mother and how much she loved you.-
The young woman began to smile; her first real smile since Leon had revealed her origins. "I feel more patient than I did when I was a child and attempted to wheedle information out of you. Very well…I can wait for that day, because I will finally have avenged their spirits and can properly face my mother and brother."
-Then get some sleep,- her Swordian whispered, -Get your strength up so you can continue fighting.-
She lay down silently and dried her remaining tears on the pillow. When Philia and Clemente returned, they saw the younger girl fast asleep, clutching Atwight close to her breast. The priestess placed her own Swordian on the table and went to sleep without a word, knowing that Rutee had things that only she could sort out.
S...S
"I'm ready, Atwight. Tell me about my mother. Tell me about my father," Rutee requested.
They were back in Darilsheid, staying at the Inn before their trip to the Swordian R&D Lab to strengthen their weapons before the final battle. Rutee had asked her friends to leave her and Atwight alone for a little while and Stahn had backed her up. His instinct for knowing a person was in pain was telling him that it must be a personal problem relating to what had occurred at Belcrant: the revelation that her father was controlled by the Aetherian King, Kronos and the deeper root of the war.
Atwight told her, -Yes…it is time. And now I can be fully honest. One of my main reasons for putting this off until now was that I knew how much Hugo had loved you as a child, and didn't want you to lose your will to fight.-
Rutee clenched her fists. "Kronos will pay for controlling my father and making him hurt us! I'm angry with myself for the premature hate I showed him, but I didn't know the truth then. Now that I realized who really held all the cards…I know who to be mad at. But I want to know that love so I can feed it into my blade as I think about what I lost."
-Your mother was a kind woman,- Atwight began, -She always had a smile on her face, especially when you were around. Everyone else who lived or worked at the mansion would always say that she made life there extremely pleasant. I remember her never saying a mean thing about another and trying to teach you to always show kindness. You were her most precious possession, more beautiful a treasure than any dress or jewel that your father could have brought her.-
"She sounds wonderful. I wish I could remember her," Rutee whispered.
Atwight told her, -I wish you could, too. Chris was always happiest when her family was with her. I think that's what upset me most when we thought Hugo was guilty; I felt as though he'd betrayed that kindness. But now I know that he was just a victim, and his odd behaviors right before your abandonment were just the start of Kronos' enslavement.-
The girl let that sink in for a moment. A family that loved her…that had been her dream since childhood. Though she'd eventually accepted the orphanage kids and the sisters who ran it as her family, it wasn't the same as what was taken from her. It couldn't compete with the close knit relationship Atwight seemed to suggest existed between mother and daughter, or father and daughter.
Rutee looked out the window in the direction of the mansion she was born in. "What was he really like? Just his last words aren't enough to get a feel for his personality."
-I didn't spend as much time with him as I did with your mother,- she confessed, -But from what I saw, I felt he was a good person. A bit of a workaholic at times, but easily convinced when someone told him he needed a break. You would pounce on him in his office, and he would know to get away from the desk. He enjoyed spending time with you, as well as your mother. Your brother was too young to have known this side, but Hugo was looking forward to him being old enough for them to bond as father and son.-
"That love…even though I can't remember it, I feel like my heart is going to burst with sorrow," Rutee stated.
Atwight replied, -There is where that memory lies. Deep in your heart, your mother and father's love is protecting you. As long as you remember them, it will continue to burn inside. Turn it to your shield as you pull out your anger in your strike. I know Chris and Hugo will watch over you in the upcoming battles…Leon, as well.-
Rutee smiled as she hugged the blade closer to her body for comfort, just as she did when she was younger. "Atwight…can you tell me more? Tell me a story about my parents and me when I was little."
-All right,- the Swordian whispered, -Now, this happened when you were about two and a half….-
- - - -
Teefa's Last Words...
Game, set and match for my semi-angst trio. I really need a fluff overload to combat this one. Going to have to go mooching for ideas of scenarios and/or situations that I can somehow set with Stahn and Rutee.