Summary- The Hosts are, quite frankly, bored. Of course, they irritate Haruhi; in response, she has them read a book, titled Born On A Rotten Day. As the Scorpios say, let the games begin!

Disclaimer- Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori, and Born On A Rotten Day, along with any direct quotes,belongs to Hazel Dixon-Cooper. Have you begun coping with the dark side of the zodiac yet? They have cookies.

Warnings- Mentioned sex, and bad words (both from Born On A Rotten Day). Also, the Hitachiin twins. Kyoya, too. Maybe Tamaki. Nekozawa might be getting in on the action, if I remember.

Rating- T (see above warnings)

A/N- You don't need to have read the book to read this. All you need to know is that Born On A Rotten Day is a zodiac book that insults EVERYONE. You should read it right away. Seriously. Stop reading this crap; find the book. Anything Italicized is a direct quote from the book, and does not belong to me.

Born On A Rotten Day? Not Me!

Chapter 1: Everyone's A Critic

Hikaru and Kaoru were, quite frankly, bored. Host duties were canceled on account of Tamaki being home with the flu, so they couldn't talk to the girls or bother their precious King. Haruhi and Kyoya were both studying for the upcoming exams (the twins just didn't care), so she wasn't tolerating them. Currently, they were sprawled on one of the larger couches, playing a DS game as loudly as possible.

Every time the game beeped, Haruhi twitched. Eventually, she snapped (but just a bit).

"Gemini air is like a pesky breeze on a day at the beach. It makes you squint, so you don't get a clear picture of what's happening around you."

Of course, that caught the attention of the aforementioned Geminis' attention, and they immediately snatched up the book that Haruhi was holding out to them.

"Born On A Rotten Day", Hikaru read aloud.

"Illuminating and coping with the dark side of the zodiac", Kaoru continued.

They looked at eachother and, with the attention of the other hosts, flipped open to the Gemini chapter.

"Gemini, May 21-June 20. Take Heart, Take Every One."

TBC