Chapter 1: My life is LIKE a Lampshade

Now, to understand this story, you're going to need to get something first. Knuckles is indeed black. I don't care what the forums say, hes black god damn it. Now, he grew hair above the black skin so people wouldn't laugh at him, because Sonic is a racism. The hair he grew was however pink so he died it red with the blood of his orphans. Now, this story takes place in Station Square, a city in Mobius…

Blackles I mean Knuckles awoke in his bed. "Ah, what a wet day, just like my dream about Tikal." he said.

"What did you just say?" said Mrs. Knuckles, Knuckles's dead mother who apparently raiseded from the deaded.

"Get the fuck out my house mommy!" shrieked Knuckles. He lived in a dumpster, not a house, because no one want's Knuckles to work at their fast food facility because Knuckles has an eating disorder called "echidna." "Echidna" is where you want to drink all the grease. ANYWay, Knuckles went to find Sonic. He saw Tails's brother, Notails. "Hey, Notails, what's up?"

"Everybody is gonna die." Notails responded with.

"Ok! Have a good day," said Blackles I mean Knuckles.

Haaving no luck findingggg Sonic or Tails, Knuckles decided to go to the office. Yep, the good ol' office. Can' t get enough of that good old office, with it's bright lights and the scent of aged cabbage. "Adjacent Angles!" cried Knuckles in pain and agony. He was, too, cool. "Get the fuck out my house mommy!" Suddenly a man walked up to Knuckles.

"Knuckles...the police are here to take you to the hospital. You are missing a kidney and haven't been fertilized in 3 months." said the man.

Knuckles soon arrived at the hospital. Surgery took 37th hours. It took a long time because the ambulance crashed on the way to the hospital… 4 times… there was a lot to operate on. Bu tKnuckles was finally better.

Soon he arrived at the office. That good old office. The sweet sweet office. For some reason the entire building was empty. The power was out, nobody was around to be seen, and it was dead silent. Knuckles slowly crept through the many halls, Quietly passing by the overturned desks with computers and papers scattered across the floor. He finally arrived at his own office. He opened the door. There was no light. It was pitch black. There was no light because there were no windows in the room. It was pitch black because there were no windows in the room. But Knuckleses could make out a dark shadowy figure in the corner. He was unsure of what the thing was. All his instincts told him to run. BUt he knew bettter. He pulled out his trusty sword and jabbed the thing. It didn't react. Knuckles put his sword back. Suddenly…

the thing slowly started to move. It turned around to reveal a pair of BIG

YELLOW

EYES

The creature spoke.

"FROGGY!? IS THAT YOU!? I CAN SMELL YOU FROGGY!"

"Well, if it isn't Sonic, eh. I see you've packed on the pounds. Can I ask if you've seen Tails around?"

"Froggy?! You're not Froggy." said Big. Big pulled all his hair out and grabbed Knuckles by the tail.

"Sonic!" cried Knuckles. "Stop it, hahaha," he chuckled. He also lied. Big took his penis and put it in Knuckles's ear. Knuckles chuckled again. "Teeheehee! That tickles, Sonic! Stop it! Is that your finger?"

"No," said Big, "it's not my finger."

"Is it your penis again?"

"Yep."
"WooooooooOoOO! Yeah! Too cool!"

"I'm not Sonic, I'm Big the Cat. Now where is my buddy Froggy?"

"He died 3 months ago, Big. He was hit by an ambulance."
Big felt blood run out of his fingers and into his nervous system. He realized right at that moment that he was dying and his last moments consisted of fucking Knuckles's ear. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" said Big in satisfaction. He was glad this was how he died, in an office with his penis in Knuckles's ear. He took his hands and ripped out his eyes and ate them. The eyes them went through Big's body, through the penis, and into Knuckles's brain. Big dropped dead.

Knuckles stared down at Big's dead body. He couldn't see it because it was too dark in the room. The room was dark because it had no windows. Suddenly someone came up behind Knuckles.

"Knuckles, it is I, the Master Emerald. The time has come. I've trained you all your life for this moment."

"But master...I… am not ready. I'm still just a young boy."

"No Knuckles, believe in your muscles."

"...Fine"

"I must go, now do your thing." The Master Emerald left.

Knuckles prepared to do his task. He'd been training all his life to do this. He pulled out the hacksaw he always kept in his pants. He was about to gut his first fish. He proceeded to cut open Big the Cat's dead body. This was followed by Knuckles crawling into the open cut he made in Big's belly. He closed his eyes as he tucked himself in.

"Goodnight," Knuckles whispered to himself.

Ok! Quiz Time!
Q: How many windows are in Knuckles's office?
A: 1

B: 6

C: 89

D: Twelve

The correct answer was…one of the 4 choices.