It was not a fact Conrad ever shared with anyone, but he had something of a thing for Günter's hair.
It was a strange weakness that had been with him for quite some time – in fact, ever since his days at the Academy. Not right from the start, of course not – in those early days, Conrad had felt nothing but indifference and then mild contempt for the instructor.
But he was man enough to admit it when he had been wrong. As things slowly began to change between them – he saw that the man was not just a phoney with a sword, but someone worth listening to, someone he could actually learn something from – he began to respect him and then, to notice him.
It never grew as strong as a crush exactly, but the hair. The way it swirled and followed Günter's movements, the way it fell down his back and sometimes danced in the wind but never became tangled and messy… It was beautiful, and it always smelled of something cool and fresh like an early morning in April. The sunshine played in it and made it delightfully shiny; rain darkened and flattened it but only added a new quality to its beauty. While Günter himself admired black hair, Conrad had no complaints about the color, because he couldn't imagine that any other color could suit him.
Conrad never mentioned this to Günter, and he never touched the hair or stared at it, or anything like that. It was just a constant awareness of it that he never got over, a sensibility to the way it hung and smelled.
That's why he quite missed the sight of it when Günter had fallen ill and was confined to bed for several days. Gisela sent reports about her father's condition; it looked bad to begin with, but she was working hard to save his life.
When Conrad heard that Günter was out of danger, he went to pay him a visit. He imagined that Günter must feel quite miserable, isolated from everyone and also from any news about Yuuri's whereabouts; Yuuri was out of the country.
"How is your father?" Conrad asked Gisela who just came out of Günter's room; no one else was in the corridor except for a guard. "Can I see him?"
The healer looked a little tired and unusually upset, but she smiled when she saw him.
"He is still weak", she confessed as if that was a personal failure on her part, "but he is recovering. He'll be very glad to see you, for sure!"
Gisela knocked on Günter's door and then opened it carefully, asking if Günter was up for a visit.
He was, as soon as he heard who the visitor was.
Conrad was shocked when he laid eyes on the royal adviser. Günter had lost weight. His face was paler than usual, and its usual gentle dreaminess whenever the man wasn't focused on a task was replaced by a mien that suggested nightmares and suffering.
And the hair, sprawled out over a pillow, had lost its lustre.
"Conrad", Günter said and tried to sit up. The movement made him wince, obviously causing him discomfort, and Conrad hurried closer to the bedside.
"Please, stay down", he said. "Don't exhaust yourself on my account."
"No", the other man said, "I am tired of lying down. I want to change position. Would you mind… giving me a hand?"
Conrad did not mind. As gently as he could, he put an arm around Günter's shoulders and helped him up into a sitting position. Conrad pulled up the pillows behind him so that Günter was propped up against them when he leaned back.
Günter closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing. He took as deep a breath as he could, and then he opened his eyes again to look at Conrad and thank him.
"I am glad to see you", he said. "Gisela and you are the only ones… I wouldn't want anyone else to see me like this!"
"Well…" Conrad shrugged awkwardly. It was strange to see Günter like that. "I'm glad you want to let me help. And Gisela is going to make you better soon."
"Yes." Günter smiled. "She is strong, a strong healer. But not even she can brew the medical herbs quicker than nature allows. Oh!" Günter sighed deeply. "I can't believe my bad luck! Why do these things always happen to me? First, that stupid thing that got stuck on my head, and the Wincott poison, twice, and now this…"
"Well", Conrad said, "you're not the only one. I lost a whole arm there for a while, you know! And Wolfram is suffering the agonies of love… So far, I'd say Gwendal is the one who has managed to stay unharmed lately."
"True", Günter admitted. "And that is very fortunate. What would His Majesty Yuuri do if Gwendal was indisposed? He is not ready to do without him. Whereas I, alas, am far from indispensable! That is, I suppose, some kind of comfort."
"Please", Conrad reproached his former teacher, "don't be so melodramatic all the time. Here, by the way – I've got something for you!"
Conrad put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small, folded piece of paper.
"A messenger dove delivered this just a moment ago", he said. "It says: 'Conrad, please make sure Günter gets this', so…"
Conrad smiled when Günter's face immediately lit up and a slightly trembling hand reached for the piece of paper. Günter unfolded it eagerly, devoured the words with his eyes and then read them aloud:
"'Dear Günter! Wolfram, Yozak and I are having a great time in Caloria. It is such a friendly country and I'm so happy to be here again. However, the word reached us that you are sick and that put a damper on our mood! Please, get better soon! Fluurin also sends her love.' Oh, how kind of His Majesty to think of me in my state of misery! And his handwriting has improved considerably, too."
"So", Conrad smiled, "are you feeling better now?"
"Yes", the sick man smiled back. "Yes, I do. Although… there's one thing…"
Günter looked unhappy again, and a little embarrassed.
"What? Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Well…" Günter sighed deeply. "You can see for yourself… My hair is a complete mess. I don't even think it has ever been this tangled before. That's… distressing."
"Oh." Conrad suppressed a small smile. It was true that Günter's hair normally was immaculately kept in order; Conrad thought he knew that better than anyone. But he had never, however, considered the effort it must take to always keep it like that; he had seen it at some natural quality for elegance and neatness that Günter possessed. He had never realized that Günter might be vain about his hair.
"For several days now", Günter complained, "I have been confined to this bed. It is only now that I'm beginning to regain my strength and I can use my arms enough to hold a small piece of paper or a spoon. Holding a hairbrush long enough to actually sort out the mess is out of the question."
"Why didn't you ask Gisela to brush it for you?"
Günter sniffed.
"Can you imagine Gisela doing something like that? I tried to mention it and she gave me a lecture about priorities. Thinking about hair when you can't even eat by yourself? She was quite disgusted."
Conrad considered this. He could see Gisela's point, but on the other hand, if Günter was well enough to care and if getting his hair in order would make him feel better, why not?
"I can brush your hair for you", he offered. "Really, I wouldn't mind, and I'd be careful."
A faint blush colored Günter's pale face and he hesitated.
"You're sure? If you really don't mind… and if you're up for it…"
"How hard can it be?" Conrad smiled. "I mean, I promise I'll be careful."
"Well, you're not as rough as the average soldier…"
Conrad refrained from smiling again and fired the final argument to vouch for his competence:
"Actually, I brushed Julia's hair once, and she had no complaints whatsoever."
"She let you do that?" That seemed to do the trick. "Well, then I'd be grateful… I wouldn't let just anyone touch my hair, you know."
"I understand", Conrad replied solemnly. "But I'm afraid it'd be hard for me to reach when you're sitting in bed. Do you think that we could move you to a chair?"
Günter said he was definitely capable of moving; that was a statement that needed qualifying, but aided by Conrad, he finally made it – he refused to let Conrad simply carry him across the floor – and was securely seated in a chair by the fireplace.
Conrad lifted the heavy mass of tangled hair to wrap a blanket around Günter's shoulders, and then he went to get the brush.
"Alright", he said, returning, "are you ready? I'm going in!"
"Uh-huh", Günter mumbled. "Launch your attack, Commander!"
Conrad smiled, but did not exactly attack the head in front of him; that would surely have made Günter throw him out. Instead, he tried to untangle a strand of hair with his fingers and then he put the hairs of the brush into it, close to the roots, and moved as gently as he could.
Günter gasped, once.
"Am I hurting you?" Conrad asked.
"No, no. Go on. I'm just nervous. This has to be done; don't hesitate."
What a strange battle, Conrad mused. I never thought I'd ever go in close combat with Günter's hair!
He went on with the task. Slowly, the brush worked its way through the first strand of hair, aided by Conrad's fingers. He didn't want to break or damage the hair, but it was such a mess that quite a few hairs had to be sacrificed and fell to the floor. He thought that he could throw it out in the garden later, and birds could stuff their nests with it.
Conrad began to enjoy feeling Günter's hair under his fingers. Its current state of being didn't bother him. Seeing it like that, feeling it, was mesmerizing in a whole other way than by admiring it from afar. It was intimate, and a privilege, too.
Günter's hair was very long, he knew that – but now it seemed measureless. Conrad didn't mind. As soon as he had brushed one strand of hair, he let it fall over Günter's shoulder, and picked up another scrubby, tangled knot. Neither of them spoke. The only sounds were the crackles of the fire, the sound of the bristles of the brush fighting hair, and Günter's strained breathing.
Finally, he had brushed all of it. Quite regretfully, Conrad put the brush down to examine the result of his hard but enjoyable labor. It looked decent again. At least decent by any other people's standards – it was no longer tangled but it was still far from its usual lustrous self, and Conrad knew that Günter wouldn't be wholeheartedly happy if he saw himself in a mirror.
"It's done", he said. "At least, the worst is over. Your hair is not 'a complete mess' any longer. But I think it would look even better if it was thoroughly washed."
"I suppose so", Günter said with a sigh.
"I'll do it", Conrad said, and he could almost see Günter's mood rise.
"Really? You'll do that for me, too? You sure you have the time?"
"Sure, no problem. Now that we've gotten this far we can just as well do it properly, don't you think? That is, if you're not too tired."
"Not too tired", Günter assured him. "Thank you, Conrad."
Conrad went to the door to call a guard and ask for towels and plenty of warm water.
"Also", Günter added, "please go and ask Anissina for some more of that shampoo I like."
"Anissina invents shampoo?" Conrad laughed. "Well, why not…"
Gisela chose that moment to return to check up on her patient.
"Conrad Weller", she said sternly in sergeant mode, "you are wearing him out!"
"I'm not", Conrad protested. "He wants this, it's good for him!"
Gisela rolled her eyes but said nothing more than that Conrad was to take full responsibility for anything that might happen.
It's not just that I like to touch his hair, he reassured himself. I really do think it's making him feel better.
Water, towels and no less than three little bottles soon arrived to the sickroom.
"The third is a special after-treatment that's not supposed to be washed out", the boy who brought them explained. "Just rub it in gently while the hair is still wet and before you brush it. Lady Anissina says it's a new product. She also sends her best wishes and hopes to see Lord von Christ fully recovered soon."
"Conrad, you do realize this means you have to brush my hair one more time afterwards, right?"
"Don't worry", Conrad said. "I really don't mind. Now, how shall we go about this without getting water all over you?"
"That's easy", Günter surprisingly informed. "Look, this chair is one of Anissina's. If I just press this button…"
Günter did so, and the backrest began to move backwards while the seat moved upwards, so that he was slanting but still sitting comfortably.
"Neat!" Conrad said, and quickly realized that if he placed a small table behind the chair and put a bucket of water on it, he could easily wash Günter's hair without making a wet mess.
He rinsed the hair thoroughly, pouring cup after cup of warm water over it. Günter sighed with satisfaction, and then told Conrad which bottle to open first.
The shampoo surprised Conrad by being blue and completely fragrance-free. It foamed nicely, however, and he took his time working it into the hair that now felt familiar under his hands, robbed of something of its unattainable mystery, but no less precious. His fingers rubbed firmly into Günter's scalp, cleansing, massaging.
"Ah… this feel so good…"
That was all the reward that Conrad needed. He made no comment, just kept going a little longer than he supposed was necessary. Then again, Günter had been very sick and his hair hadn't been washed since some time before the infection hit him.
Conrad emptied the first bucket through the window and put it back under Günter's head to retain the foamy water when Conrad rinsed the hair again, making sure he got all of the shampoo out of it.
Günter said he was feeling more energetic, so Conrad took the opportunity to shave him. Gisela had washed him and changed the sheets in his bed, but apparently shaving and washing hair were things she considered too frivolous for a sick person. Conrad disagreed. While facial hair looked good on some men, Günter was not one of them, in his opinion.
Then the next bottle. When Conrad opened it, he had to smile – so that was where Günter had found the exquisite yet discrete scent his hair was always spreading. The scent was a lot stronger than Conrad would have expected, but he supposed that was because he held it in concentrated form.
The procedure was repeated, only this time Conrad paid less attention to massaging Günter's scalp and more to letting the long, slick strands of hair glide through his fingers. It was a conditioner and needed some time to work before it was washed out, so Conrad had no qualms about prolonging the activity as long as his sense of decency allowed him.
Günter was not complaining.
That made Conrad think.
"Hey, Günter… You're not falling asleep, are you?"
If he were, then it would probably be better to return him to bed.
"No, no. Not at all. I'm just calmly enjoying having my hair washed properly. You are very good at this, Conrad."
"Who would have thought, huh?" Conrad grinned behind him. "Hey, I can become your personal hairwasher on a permanent basis!"
Günter giggled, "I think you have better things to do with your time."
Conrad hummed, wondering if Günter realized that although he hadn't meant it as a serious suggestion, it wasn't completely unfounded. He did like the activity. Then on second thought, it was an extreme situation. Günter was perfectly capable of taking care of his own hair when he was in good health, and being assisted by another person when there was no need for it would perhaps be… a little bit awkward… Not that they hadn't been in the baths or in hot springs together before, but…
Conrad did not like the direction his thoughts were taking. He turned his attention back to the task at hand, ignoring the thoughts and just basking in the experience. He found that it was time to wash away the colorless spring-smelling substance from Günter's hair.
The water was still warm, as Conrad had put it close to the fire. It was with rarely felt zeal and joy that he set out to complete one of the final parts of his mission. Günter's beautiful hair was soon going to be back to normal – Conrad didn't know if he or Günter was the happiest one.
Then, he squeezed the long hair with a towel until it was not dripping with water any longer. Time for the third bottle.
"The content is thin and completely clear", he informed Günter. "There's not even any scent."
"Well", Günter replied, "since Anissina's other hair products are all excellent, I suppose this one won't do me any harm. But don't use too much of it, to be safe."
"Alright then", Conrad replied, following the instructions forwarded by the guard, and rubbed the moisture gently into the mass of wet hair.
Then he wrapped it all up in another towel and dragged the chair closer to the fire.
"I'm letting you sit up straight now so I can brush your hair again", he warned.
"Yes…" Günter agreed, and Conrad pushed the button on the side of the chair.
The hair was still wet, and the towel had made it a little bit tangled again, but the brush slid through it easily; it was heavy but slick.
The towel, the strokes of the brush and the warmth from the fire dried Günter's hair eventually. Conrad kept on brushing it, or almost caressing it, as if he was thoroughly polishing as word, making it shine.
Conrad thought that he had never seen Günter's hair so fluffy and lustrous before. The light from the fire made it shine and shimmer, and he ran his fingers through it again and again. Günter's breathing was calm and even.
Conrad stopped. What am I doing? he chastised himself. I'm done here, and Günter shouldn't even be out of bed!
"Mmm…" Günter almost purred lazily. "Don't… stop…"
"How are you feeling?" Conrad asked.
"I feel…" Günter raised a hand to touch his hair. "I feel good, thanks Conrad…"
Conrad took a quick step to the other side of the chair so that he could see Günter's face. His eyes were closed and although he smiled contently it was obvious that he was so tired that he could barely sit.
"Come on", Conrad commanded. "Let's get you back to bed now. Put your arms around my neck."
"No, no…" Günter objected.
"Yes", Conrad insisted and bent down to take one of Günter's arms and wrap it around his neck. Günter had no choice but to comply and hold on to him as Conrad scoped him up and carried him to the other side of the room.
When Conrad had put the sick men in bed and spread the blankets over him, he gathered all the magnificent hair into a loose bun and fastened it on top of Günter's head. It was far from elegant, but that way Günter wouldn't have to sleep on it and get it all messy again.
"Sleep well", he said.
Günter did not hear him, but he looked peaceful in his sleep. Conrad wondered how much time that had passed; a quick look out the window confirmed that it had been hours. If anyone had been looking for him, the guard that Gisela had placed outside had done the right thing and kept everyone out.
Conrad looked at the sleeping man and suddenly, he got scared. What if Günter got worse again before Gisela had the new medicine ready? What if… What if…
Conrad shivered and lost his breath for a moment.
But no; Gisela had promised him that her father was recovering and she of all people would never lie to him about something like that. She was going to get Günter back in shape in no time.
For the moment, though, Günter was sleeping the sleep of the thoroughly exhausted.
Time to leave. But first, Conrad did something on a whim. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the pale forehead.
He paused at the door and looked back at his old friend. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a shadow of a smile on Günter's lips.