I wrote this as a small glimpse into someone's life for a brief period. Twebecca has just been so much fun to write lately. This one is pretty bittersweet.
Slight TweekxRebecca.
Coffee.
Every time I smelled it or the distinct flavor reached my tongue, it made me think of one person.
Tweek Tweak.
He was addicted to it. When I even get a whiff of it, it's like memories come flooding back like a broken levee. It floods my thoughts and all I can think of is him.
Moments that we shared and the happy days of summer… His tight grip on my hand as we walked side by side through the years.
Maybe I dislike the caffeine or the strong bitter taste. I know why I hated coffee; in the brownish black pools I see the distinct memories of him. He haunted my memories like a ghost.
Tweek was forgotten like everything else when I finally left that hick town. South Park is where we met and where we ended. An old high school sweetheart that just drifted apart with time. And coffee always resurrected the memories of him.
I guess life has a funny way of bringing the people we love back into our lives.
But… not like this. Things like this shouldn't happen.
Here I am, in a small two bedroom house. It seemed like any other visit but as luck would have it... It is not. This one was special. This one was going to test how strong I've become.
"Rebecca, is it… going to happen soon?" Craig's voice rang out, still uncaring and monotone as usual but his lips were in a pressed line. Behind that quiet, bad boy façade was a truly troubled expression.
He sat there on that musty old couch, his body slumped and tired. He didn't have to say a word; this whole ordeal was taking a toll on his physical and mental health.
I was rummaging through my medical bag, pulling out more sheets, sliding them next to Craig's already large stack.
"It's very soon. As you know his prescriptions and medications have been terminated. I have a little medication with me to help relax him through this process… Is there any special wishes since you're power of attorney?"
It came out all too professional. The script I had wrote for myself, troubling as you can see, but still not comforting. It was those practiced words that came tumbling off my tongue. It held no warmth.
Craig thumbed through the bits of paperwork. His face dropped as he started to fill out the… more, uncomfortable forms.
My job isn't easy and neither is this one for Craig.
"Just make Tweek happy and comfortable." Craig's hand started to tremble and shake, the pen rattling in his fingers. He kept slipping further into the couch cushions, away from the paperwork in front of him. He was staring intently at the... certain forms. I knew it all too well, the pressing questions no one wants to answer.
When things like this happen, our minds become hazy.
"Just take your time." I reassured him.
"You've been here every day for the past month... I feel like I should be helping."
"It's completely understandable. I'll leave you here to fill out the forms. Please, if you need anything from me don't hesitate to ask."
I decided not to crowd him. These decisions are hard enough and he didn't need me breathing down his neck. I clutched the cool metal railing, glancing up the small flight of stairs.
Tweek was up there.
Craig's voice reached me, sounding almost annoyed. "Just talk to me like your friend. I'm not some client or are we?"
I turned my attention back to the boy in blue.
"I'm sorry; I'm just used to speaking this way." I let a quirky smile grace my lips. "Speaking as your friend and not on the behalf of my job, you've grown into quite a handsome young man."
He snorted. "Is that what I am? You look like... a real woman. Almost seven years."
"Time flies in college." I let out the breath I was holding, trying to fight the urge to spell something into my hands. "I know Tweek isn't so happy about me leaving."
"He took it hard."
Before I left, Tweek was already starting to get sick. I ignored it. I pretended like it wasn't happening. I wanted to live my life and Craig had to give up his as Tweek got progressively sicker. It spread from his liver to his bones to his blood. It was all over. And already too late. I should have been there for him. I feel like it's all my fault.
The silence once again presented itself on us.
"I'm going." I shifted my gaze back to the seemingly expansive stairway. This was going to be one of the hardest moments in my career and as a person. I took it one stair at a time, climbing them like someone would a mountain. My feet dragging up each stair slowly and precisely.
It's like, as soon as I reached the top, a new problem presented itself upon me.
Opening that door.
I stepped in front of the intimidating hunk of wood. I've done this for so long but it's like my body permits me from going any further. Something is holding me back.
I took a breath reminding myself to smile. Smile through the pain and I'd get through it. I reminded myself that it was just a job, but there was one fatal flaw with my reasoning...
I opened that door with so much enthusiasm, I shouted out. "Hello Tweekster!"
Tweek woke out of a dead sleep and nearly jumped three feet out of his bed. "Jesus Christ! Ngh! Don't scare me like that!"
...I knew Tweek. He was much more than just some patient.
That was the most active I've seen him in quite some time. He recollected himself, his voice still hoarse. "Hello Rebecca."
"Hello, hello!" my voice rang out happily.
I set down my medical bag on the side of his bed, opening my bags of tricks going over the same old routine of checking vitals.
I grimaced, filling in my forms. It's just as I thought... Not very good. He's still… very, very ill.
In fact, I wasn't sure that he would... I put on my happy face, pretending. "How is my favorite coffee-phile?
"Peachy," Tweek lifted his hand weakly to his face, pointing to his nose. "These tubes in my nose. It's way too much pressure."
"Do you need me to adjust them?"
"It's fine. All I do is sleep anyway." his eyes shifted over to me, swallowing roughly. "How long do I have left?"
No, no… I didn't want to talk about that. My eyes searched the room, trying to find something.
"H-h-hey, Tweek? Do you remember prom?" I switched the subject quickly. "You spilled coffee all over the front of my dress and all over your tux and we we-went to prom with those big stains. It's good thing we weren't king or queen."
Tweek chucked with a small cough. "I-I didn't mean to. I was really n-nervous. You -ngh- looked very nice that night."
I gave a happy sigh, sitting on his bedside.
"You did too."
Tweek's head crooked towards me. "What? I don't look good now?" he said with a bit of sass, his lip puckering.
I giggled, brushing a bit of his cowlicks that started to come back. "You look the same. You're the same guy I knew."
"Is that right?" his tone darkened. "I remember you leaving me to go to college and never even giving me a curtsey call. You just left without a word. Did you know I was sick?"
"I..." I was expecting this but... I'm not ready to talk about it. I bit my bottom lip. One of my many nervous tics. "I-I had my reasons."
His eyebrows furrowed as he lay there, looking at the ceiling. The mucus in his throat rattling loudly. Tweek's appearance stark white and the bags under his eyes intensified. I sat there on the edge of his bed, looking at his carpet floors. Beige. An ugly color.
Another loud gasp brought me back from my thoughts. "Rebecca, can you do me a little favor?" Tweek lifted a shaky finger to the door. "Go to the kitchen and let me have one little cup of hot coffee."
"Tweek, you know that your-"
"Just do me this one favor?"
Seeing him so weak, I couldn't say no. These were Craig's wishes as well. I had to obey them.
I scampered down to the kitchen. In the corner by the sink sat an old coffee brewer. I blew the dust off of the seemingly unused coffee machine. It was one of those more complex kinds. The one's that cost a fortune and make an excellent marriage gift.
And soon I had made the fresh coffee he had wanted.
I poured the black liquid into a mug. I rummaged through my medical bag. I placed the bit of liquid in the coffee, mixing it. I wish I didn't have to give Tweek a low dose of medication to… ease the process, but this is my job after all. It's to make him comfortable so the pain stops.
I took the warm cup with me up the stairs, by passing a sleeping Craig on the couch. I hope he can get better.
I brought the warm mug to his bedside.
Was there something I missed? Was there something I could have done to have prevented this? I let out a shaky breath. I just wanted things to go back to normal.
"I got you your coffee. I hope you like it."
He reached out shakily to my hands. "Rebecca."
"What?" I felt something stir in my stomach as he cradled my hands. It was like life sprung back into him. His eyes even brightened. Those shinning coffee pools stared into mine.
"I forgive you for leaving. This is what your passion is. Seeing you this past month... Well, it's like I'm getting to know you all over again. It's so great." he gave me a warm, sincere smile. "I might be dying but you don't know how happy I am to see you."
I bit my lip, my hands fidgeting more as he took the cup from me shakily. I wasn't helping him die… Hospice wasn't about…
I guided my hands over his. He sipped it, drinking it until he had enough. I put the still full cup on his bedside table.
A surge of energy rattled his small frame as his hand gripped mine.
"You look healthier. Maybe it was just the elixir you needed?"
"My only complaint is that I like my coffee dark." Tweek's smile spread across his cheeks. "You're fired."
We shared a little laugh. The kind that wasn't because of a lame joke. No, I think it was because we both knew what was coming next. That sort of happy moment. The calm before the storm.
I gripped him like he was going disappear right out of my grasp. I don't possibly want to lose Tweek.
We were silent. My job allowed me to give this... my... the patient time to ease with passing.
A few hours of silence then it happened as expected. His vitals started to fizzle away. His breathing pattern became weaker. His extremities were cold and... I knew these signs. I was trained to know them.
"Tweek? Is there anything you'd like me to do for you to…?" I croaked out the last bit of words. "Make you more comfortable?"
He peered up through his eyelids; his mouth moving but no words escaped his lips. But, I could read what he mouthed.
"Thank you for coming back."
My bottom lip quivered. "I'm sorry I even left. I could have prevented this."
He shook his head, smiling before closing his eyes again.
Within a short period of just watching him zone in and out of consciousness and his sleep apnea fall silent. His clutch on my hand still just as tight but...
I checked his vitals again before smoothing out his untamed cowlicks. I unhooked his breathing tubes. I smoothed out the blankets, laying his arms comfortably across his stomach.
My heart was heavier than lead. I let out a weak sob, clutching his hand again. This doesn't get any easier.
I descended down the stairs with his mug in hand. Craig was waiting for me at the bottom. My voice cracked as I uttered. "…T-Tweek passed."
Craig took a shaky sigh, nodding all too knowingly. "I knew it would be today. I just had a gut feeling."
The script came to mind but I just hugged Craig, hugged him real tight.
That day after he was buried, I remember finding myself at the coffee shop, soaked with rain and my head hazy with confusion. I went inside, ordering a hot cup of black coffee.
As I bring the Styrofoam to my lips, the coffee fills my senses and I see Tweek in my memories.
Moments that we shared and the happy days of summer… His tight grip on my hand as we walked side by side through the years.
Maybe I dislike the caffeine or the strong bitter taste. I know why I hated coffee; in the brown black pools I see the distinct memories of him. He haunted my memories like a ghost.
I feel like I will always regret never being there when he needed me most… but, at least I was there for him until the end.
To me, coffee will always reunite us.